It was Tuesday night, and while all the kids went to bed as it was school night, our fun was only just getting started.
We blasted a playlist of Panic! At the Disco and other emo trash bands as we drove Trev into town, beer and chips in the back and a night planned with exciting, crazy adventures.
Like playing ultimate frisbee in the dark, which, if you ever want to try, dont play it with a half alien and two intelligence agents. Youre less likely to makes dents in cars that way.
Most of town was cordoned off and broken down, but here were a few makeshift bars and clubs still around, that were probably illegal but because it was New Zealand, no one really cared.
The first club we stopped at was called Venus. It was held in an old warehouse with peeling paint and a questionable structure, filled with neon lights, drinks, smoke and bodies gleaming in the dark. It was a place I could spend hours in, all the smoke and drugs soaking into my skin, making me buzz with energy. As we entered, a mix of weed, alcohol and sweat bombarded my nose, but instead of making us gag it made us even more excited. I'd been to clubs in New York, but they were full of sequined dresses and red lipstick. Here, people wore ripped jeans and plaid shirts, or jandals and hunting gear. There was no need for fancy clothes because everyone was equal, all here for a good time, rather than a chance to climb the ladder of social status.
Taly ordered us a drink called a CBD Fizzer, and when I downed it in one gulp it really did fizz in my stomach and burn down my throat.
It was amazing.
Tasha lead us to the dance floor, which was concrete painted a neon pink, splashed with sweat, discarded shoes and was that a pair of underpants?
At first, it was fun, the swirling and twisting and wiggling of hips. But soon, we began getting noticed. Taly swung her hips around a tall dark-skinned dude with dreads, while Tasha was trailing one hand over the bare chest of a surfer and fluttering her eyes lashes at a dark eyed girl.
I could see a tall dark blonde-haired guy wearing a tank top and a bucket hat making his way towards me, his bright eyes locking with mine.
While Tasha and Taly may have free reign to hook up with anyone they liked, I was stuck in the bondage of love and would feel uncomfortable and guilty if I so much as touched a man that wasnt Steve.
Tripping over feet and items of clothing, I tried and failed to get away from the hunk of muscle whose eyes I had captured. There were just too many people in the place and it was impossible to find my way out. That, and the Fizzer was making my head spin, and I wondered what the hell was in that drink.
I felt his hands circle my waist, but my head was fuzzy, so I didn't protest, but let myself dance to the beat of the music. The drum beat was pounding in my chest, and I could just make out Tasha and Taly drifting away from me, deeper into the building. I felt the heat of his body against mine, and his head dipped lower. His eyes were bright blue, and they looked so familiar.
"Steve?" I mumbled. The guy laughed, and before I knew it he was kissing me, and I was kissing him. His hands gripped my waist. It was heated and fast, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like him.
I pulled away, my head clearer.
"You're not Steve," I muttered, staring at the boy still holding onto me.
"I can be whatever you want me to be babe," He said smoothly, pulling me closer. I wriggled out of his grasp.
"No, I'm sorry, I can't," I slipped into the crowd, searching for Tasha or Taly. Finally, through the smoky haze I spotted Taly making out with the dreadlocks dude in a far corner.
"We're going," I said, pulling her away from him.
"Call me," she giggled, and the dude smiled. He wouldnt call her.
I snatched Tasha on the way, who was latched onto the hips of the cute brunette girl we saw earlier. I pushed my way through the crowd until finally we hit open air. I gulped it in, while Tasha and Taly, glared at me.
"That place was great. Why'd you make us leave?" Taly grumped, crossing her arms. I shrugged.
"I thought we could use a place that wasn't so, sweaty," I said, hoping it was enough to convince them we need to go. There was a moment of silence, where they stared at me. Then they both shrugged.
"Eh, fair enough," Tasha said, and proceeded to head back to the car. Neither of them were in any state to be driving.
I couldn't believe I was being the responsible one. Out of all the people I knew, I was the most likely to party, drink and flirt around.
But being in love changed that. I couldnt flirt with another boy and not feel like I was betraying Steve in some way. I had a commitment to another human and even though it meant I couldnt do those things anymore, I didnt mind that. Because there as only one person that I wanted, and no one else could fill the hole in my heart that was shaped like him.
The next stop was a bar called Orpheus. It was more laid back, with 80s music and a pool table. Tasha and Taly ordered water while I got a glass of whiskey and started up a game of pool with a bunch of guys.
Tash and Taly watched blurry eyed as I creamed the guys, much to their disappointment, and earned myself $96 in bet money.
Counting my cash, I flopped down in the booth next to Tasha and opposite Taly.
"Not bad, right?" I said cheerfully. They both looked a little worse for wear.
"I should not have had so many Fizzers," Taly groaned, holding her head in her hands.
"I can hold my alcohol, but there was something inhuman about those drinks. What was in them?" Tasha mumbled.
"No one knows," Taly replied. "Its the owners secret mix."
"Well I," I pointed at myself. "Was responsible and didn't drink too much. I didn't hook up with anyone either." Tasha glared at me.
"You're not allowed to hook up. You're in love. Love is like slavery." She picked at a loose thread on her jacket.
"I think you're exaggerating," I said, but I could feel a slight panic rise in my chest. Tasha looked at me pointedly.
"There's no point denying it. We didn't leave the club because it was too sweaty. We left because some guy wanted to hook up, but you couldn't."
God, she knew me so well.
"Ok, so I kissed some guy and it didn't feel right. So, what," I grumbled.
"You can't be a spy and be in love, spacehead," Taly said matter of factly, using her favourite nickname for me. "There's gonna be a day when you'll have to pretend to be in love with someone else. Missions like that are inevitable. And if you can't kiss a guy because you're thinking about someone else, you're gonna fail. Thats that."
"I'm not a spy. I never was," I said firmly. And it was true. I was never a spy, and neither was Steve. He would always be a soldier, anticipating every war. Tasha would always be a spy, with layers of different identities.
And me?
I was trained to be a warrior. I was too rebellious to be a soldier, but not rebellious enough to be a spy. Warriors lived on their own terms, negotiating orders and let no one mess them around.
My brother and I, we were warriors.
"So, you're a soldier?" Tasha said.
"No."
"Then what?"
"A warrior."
"Warriors dont exist," Taly said harshly. "My father called himself a warrior and look where it got him. Killed in action. Better off to be a soldier or a spy, then to think you can bend the rules and make your own orders." She sounded bitter, and I realized she had never forgiven her father for leaving them when they needed him the most.
"My brother and I were warriors together. For him, I will always be a warrior."
Tasha and Taly looked at me in confusion, but I meant what I said. The best way to honour my brother when I knew I would probably never see him again, was to honour our way of life.
"You have a brother? I didn't think you had any siblings," Tasha said suspiciously.
"We don't talk anymore. Its easier that way," I said vaguely, which only caused Tasha to look at me strangely. Even just admitting that one small fact, that one small truth about my real life lifted the burden on my shoulders immensely. I felt lighter, and even though it was hardly anything at all it felt like everything.
"We should probably head home for the night. Its already 11:30pm," Taly said, and yawned. I nodded, but Tasha didn't look at me. She had that look in her eyes, a look that screamed trouble.
***
It took half and hour to drive home through all the detours and roadworks, but trusty Trev the Truck saw us through. I turned into Greenwood Avenue and sped up the driveway. Parking the truck in the garage, we jumped the fence into the backyard. The living room light was on, and I guessed Robyn or Mia were up watching a movie or something.
But the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. The back door was open, and the curtains flailed out into the night air. Something wasn't right, and Tasha and Taly could feel it too.
"Something smells a little funky," I whispered to Tasha.
"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," she replied.
A moan came from inside the house, but before we could go inside to investigate, a tall figure appeared at the back door. They stopped, for a moment, then in the pale moonlight ran to us.
All three of us went into attack positions, but when we saw Josh's tear stained, white face we stopped.
"Josh?" Taly said, panic rising in her voice.
"We tried to call you. But you didn't pick up," He said numbly.
"What happened?" Taly grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him.
"They came half an hour ago. They broke in, and they shot Grandma. But they, they," Josh swallowed as new tears washed over his cheeks.
"They took Chalise. They took her, and they're gone."