I say this all the time because I'm to lazy to proofread, but ignore mistakes.🙄
Jasiah Mason-
Everybody knows that there's always that one bitter ass family member who is just always mad and angry for no damn reason. And Lord forgive me for what I'm about to say but, I swear to God I'm about to punch this bitch in her nose.
"You just mad 'cause you ain't as thick as me." Amelia, my cousin said
"Sis, you not even as thick as you. That shit ain't real. I see them implants falling out of place Nicki Mi-nuh-uh."
"Jasiah be nice!" My aunt Kota said
First of all...No.
"My ass is real!"
"Ok Blac Chyna!"
She put her hands on her hip and began talking while rolling her neck like a damn snake.
"I will fuck you up and make you want to run yo' ass back to Virginia!" She yelled
"You ain't gon' do shiiiiiit!"
"You wanna bet?"
"Hit me."
"You don't want me to do that."
"Hit me."
"Cause you-"
"Hit me or shut the hell up! Go run your mouth to somebody that gives a fuck."
"You better fuckin' not! Ain't gon' be none of that in my damn house! Better take y'all asses outside 'cause if y'all fuck up my house y'all gon' have to fight me too!" My Grandma Kash yelled
"Matter of fact just sit y'all asses down!" Uncle Marlo yelled with his overly deep voice ass scaring the absolute fuck out of me
"You just got so damn lucky!" Amelia said
"Girl shut up. Stupid ass piece of plastic."
"This girl is rude as hell! I like it!" My Cousin Kj laughed
Out of every one of my family members down in Alabama, I got along with the guys better than the females. Don't get me wrong most of these girls were cool as hell, but I gravitated more to the boys.
"Kj shut up." Amelia rolled her eyes
"For whyyy? You just mad 'cause she went in on ya ass."
"Kj stop instigating shit." Grandma Kash said. "Amelia bring yo' dumbass here!"
She pulled Amelia by her arm and yanked her into another room.
"Ouuuuuu she bout to get a whoopinnnnnn'!" Kj said
"Shut the fuck up before you be next!" Grandma yelled making him close his mouth immediately
I laughed at how scared he looked.
"Scary ass."
"You ain't been here in years. You don't know how crazy that lady is." Kj said. "Anyways I gotta tell you something."
I shook my head. This boy done told me so much shit and I've only been here for 3 days. Yesterday he was telling me about a time when a girl bit his dick while trying to give him head and he slapped the shit out of her by accident.
"What is it now?"
"So this girl Im messing with sent me a picture of her and she got a nose pierced and shaved all her hair off."
"What did you do?"
"I told her she looked like Tupac and now she mad."
I burst out laughing. " That's mean."
"She asked me how she looked and I had to tell the truth. I was about to tell her she looked like Steve Harvey but that would've been even worse."
He pulled out his phone and showed me a picture.
"Aww she looks like Caillou!" I said
"I'm saying! Shiny ass fuckin' head."
"How you call yourself talking to this girl and you over here clowning her?" I asked him
"If yo' nigga left with a head full of hair and came home baldhead you wouldn't do the same?"
I tried picturing the the sight of Sincere being bald and almost scared my damn self. That's not a good look!
"He not stupid enough to do that."
"You don't know that."
"How I don't? That is my boyfriend."
"You don't know what that nigga be thinking."
"Yeah I do. He is me and I am him. We are one. I know exactly what he is thinking."
He looked at me sideways. "Creep."
"I ain't no creep! Stupid bitch!"
"JASIAH SHANTEL MASON IF I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO STOP CUSSING IN MY HOUSE ONE MO' GOT DAMN TIME!" Grandma Kash yelled
"Alright." I mumbled. "You don't have to be so loud. Big ass ears."
"Girl..." My cousin Imani said
"What?"
"5.4.3.2-"
Grandma stormed into the living room. "What you say!?"
"Nothi- Ow!" I was cut off by her hitting me on my legs with a belt
"I heard everything you said!"
Then watchu ask for?😕
I rubbed the area where she hit me as Amelia ugly ass came out laughing. I was bout ready to pop her in her shit but Grandma ain't finna beat my ass.
"Lord have mercy! Imma end up dead fooling with y'all." She shook her head
"Grandma you bout to turn 60." Kj said
"Bitch im 21. Don't play with me." She said making everyone laugh
"Mama you just need to accept it. You ain't young anymore." Uncle Marlo said
"What year you was born again, mama? 300 B.C?" Pops asked her making her take off her slipper and throw it at him
"See this why these kids so damn bad now. Y'all are horrible parents."
"Mama you tell us all the time that we were horrible kids so what do that say about you?" Aunt Kota asked
"I was a great mama!"
"B.Y.E. Bye. Get out! You lyiiiiinnnnnnnnggg!" Uncle Marlo said
She kissed her teeth. "You know, you not to old to get yo' ass whooped."
"I'm grown." Uncle Marlo told her
"And?"
"You can't whoop me if I'm grown."
"Actually I can. I birthed your ugly ass , raised your big head ass, and I still cook for your ass. You can still catch these hands bruh."
"Grandma you need to stop trying to be cool." I said
"And stop calling me grandma! From here on out my name is Glam ma!"
"Why?" Kj asked
"Cause I'm too sexy for that grandma shit."
"Yeah right." I mumbled
"I still got this belt in my hands." She looked at me
"Girl you is fine. Number after 99." I corrected myself when she raised her hand up
"But you called me scary." Kj laughed at me and I flipped him off
_
_
I was with hanging with my male cousins outside Glam Ma's house while they were smoking weed.
They talked me into trying to smoke, but I couldn't do it. I have never tasted no shit like that in my life.
"We just want a girl who don't trip over every damn thing." Daveon said
"No y'all want a girl y'all can cheat on without worrying about her cheating back. Hoe asses." I corrected him making him kiss his teeth
"My girl no better." Aireon said
"You know damn well yo' lil' ugly ass don't have no girlfriend." Kj clowned him
"Bitch shut up. I just fucked yours last night." Aireon retorted
Kj laughed. "Shiiiiiit. They way her head set up, you can have her."
"Shut up. And I'm not little either."
"Lies. You a whole Kevin Hart 2.0" Daveon chuckled
"Nigga! You're short because your dad tried to pull out. The rest of your height landed on the sheets!" Kj screamed causing us to laugh including Aireon
"Bruh I hate y'all niggas. On Tommy I do."
"Who the fuck is Tommy?" I asked
"He don't fucking know. He just trynna be cool." Kj said
"Could've just been like them Chicago niggas and say on foe nem!" Daveon said
Kj yelled. "Or be like them New York niggas and say YEEERRRRRR!"
"You always fuckin' yelling." I frowned
"Don't be a hypocrite. You been yelling since you got here."
"Why you lying? No I haven't."
"A damn lie! You a bad liar, can't even lie with a straight face. Over there sweating like a whore I'm church." He let out an obnoxious laugh
🤔????
"Ok but you just sounded so fucking country."
"Bitch we in the South. What did you expect?" He paused and glanced at the window seeing Grandma staring him down
When she die she gon' be one of them creepy ass ghosts that be trying to scare everybody who walk in her house. I bet my life on that.
"She always fuckin' looking at me. What you want Mrs. Wrinkles?!" Kj yelled thinking she wasn't gon' hear him, but she did
She slung the door open and actually ran her old ass out the door.
"You gon' cause an earthquake out here running like this! Get back in the house Big Mama!" He screamed
Next thing you know she picked up a hoe, the gardening shit, and launched it at him missing him by a few inches.
"Child abuse! 991! Somebody call it! Fix it Jesus!"
"Well you know who the slow one is out of the bunch." Daveon laughed
"This nigga be on something." Aireon shook his head
"It's 911 you dumbass!" Grandma yelled
"That's why you missed!" Kj said to her
"Lil' boy I missed on purpose cause I'm trying not to put yo' skinny ass in the hospital!"
She was getting closer to him and he ended up falling like them bitches in scary movies.
"I just don't get it. Do people legs stop working when they getting chased or something? Always falling somewhere." I said out loud
Grandma ended up getting tired and snatching her shoe off, throwing it at him. It popped him in the forehead and he fell to the ground again like he died.
He gasped. "Tell my mama I love her!" He said jerking like a fish out of water
"Literal definition of extra. I'm so done." I laughed at him
::::::::::
I'm fucking tired!😕
I see a lot of y'all commenting on the same chapters over and over. How many times y'all read this book?