HARRY
I had never hoped or knew I wanted something like that in my life, when I was younger. When I first met Scarlett, started to know her, I knew some things were changing, the way I used to look at life was changing, and I was scared. And in denial, at first. I didn't want what she was offering, what life was offering, I just wanted to live life like I had always known it.
During these four years apart, I had a lot of thinking. The first time I realized I wanted to spend my life with her was in China and since I first decided I was going to propose I've always known how to do it. I had taken a while to choose the perfect ring, to find a way to steal one of her rings to get the exact size of her finger, without giving her any suspects, and from the look on her face, I'd say it worked perfectly.
Before this, I had talked to Aaron. To hear what he had to tell me about it and what he thought. I can't lie and say that I wasn't nervous about his opinion, but I had been pleasantly surprised in hearing that if that's how I feel I should go for it. And that's exactly what I had done.
"You want to marry me?!" She asks me as the first thing, taking a few steps toward me. That's not really what I was expecting her to say, but I'll take it.
"Yes, that's what I'm asking... you don't want to?" I look up at her and she looks immediately taken aback and she shakes her head at me.
"Of course, I want to spend the rest of my life with you!" She stretches her hand to my face and delicately caresses my cheek. I feel my chest definitely lighter at her words.
"So, do you want to become my wife?" I ask her again, taking her hand in mine. She lowers her stare for a second, before nodding her head at me.
"Yes..." She then says and smiles at me. I immediately get up from my knee, just to hold her against me in a hug and then connect our lips with a kiss.
Before getting lost in each other, I separate from her just to get the ring from its box and to put it on her finger. Once I do, she admires her hand with it on for a few seconds.
"So that's where Kim Kardashian's ring ended up, eh?!" She jokes, obviously talking about the size of the diamond.
"Excuse me... the one I chose is way more elegant." She laughs too and then wraps her arms around my neck.
"Why, you've seen Kim Kardashian's engagement ring?!"
"No, I'm just assuming!" I shrug my shoulders and she giggles again. "So, do you like it or not?" I ask her.
"I love it!" She nods her head, taking another glance at her ring. "I'm just worried about the cost of it, considering its dimension."
"Well, my motto is "go big or go home". So I always go big." I tell her with a proud smirk on my lips and she shakes her head at me, unable to hold back her giggles.
"You're one smug bastard, Mr. Styles..." she tells me, brushing the tip of her nose against mine.
"I know, future Mrs. Styles..." her smile immediately grows at my words.
"I like how it sounds..." She whispers against my lips, before connecting our lips together again. The kiss is slow and sensual, none of the two is rushing into it, we're taking the time we know we have.
"Wait..." I stop her when she tries to move further, remembering that we're still tied up together with the thread. I kneel down to free her ankle and then I do the same with hers.
"We can keep it as a memory..." she tells me, taking it from my hands and resting it on the couch, not so far from us.
Once her hands are free again, I stretch my arm toward her and I offer my hand for her to grab, which she does. I draw her body toward mine and I surround her waist with my arm, before linking our lips together again.
I get away from her just to start walking up the stairs, toward our bedroom, drawing her with me.
I press my mouth to her neck, sucking and kissing it. I grope her breasts with sure hands, feeling her nipples from behind the t-shirt. I move faster than I normally do now, feeling the need to get rid of our clothes as quickly as possible. I pause to press her back against the dresser and grind my growing erection against her. My hands are everywhere, squeezing her ass and pawing at her skin and she pushes her neck backward, moaning in pleasure at my touches.
I take off my own t-shirt, letting it fall to the floor without much importance. The next one to go is the one she's wearing and it soon enough joins mine on the floor. She presses her naked chest against mine, wrapping her arms around my neck and forcing our lips together again. Her tongue explores my mouth, twisting with my own tongue and tasting it.
I bring both of my hands on her shoulders to draw her away from me and making her back away until her calves hit the bed and she lays down on the still unmade bed on her own. I immediately tower over her, on her body, and my mouth attacks her naked breasts.
One of my hands cups and squeezes her right breast, while my tongue caresses and sucks the nipple of her left one. She arches her back against me, pushes her neck backward, completely overwhelmed by what I'm doing to her body.
While I'm working on her breasts I feel her hand reaching the elastic of my pants and she tries hard to push them down my legs. She succeeds with my help and I do the same with the white panties she's wearing.
I can't help but feel still as amazed as the first day as I take an indulgent look at her naked body behind me. When I take too long and her cheeks get slightly flushed, she stretches her arms toward me, grabbing my hand and drawing me on top of her.
She kisses me hard, her lips are slightly swollen, probably just like mine, and I feel her hand reaching my naked cock. She grabs the balls of it first, giving them a soft touch, just teasing me and when she hears me hissing against her lips, she finally wraps her hand around my length. She gives it a few strokes but I don't take it more than that to get as hard as a rock.
Once she notices it too, she brings both of her hands on my chest and forces me to lay down with my back on the mattress, she straddles me as my hands wander between her back and ass. I get my back up, wrapping my arms around her waist, so that I can kiss her lips again.
"I love you..." She whispers against my lips, bringing her hand between my hair and then lowering her eyes on my rigid cock. She doesn't waste any time before taking it in her hand and adjusting it in position for her.
"I love you too." I tell her back, kissing her swollen lips one more time. She then gets down on me, she sits on me, her warm walls welcoming my cock and stretching around it. She takes a while before starting moving and I don't pressure her. I rest my hand on the base of her back and the other on her thigh, stroking her warm skin with my thumb. When she starts moving, she swivels her hips slowly for a few times first. My name leaves her lips in a quiet moan and she keeps her eyes closed, completely taken in what she's doing.
She brings herself upward and with her movements only the head of my length is still inside of her. I look down, admiring our bodies connecting together and how wet she's made my dick with her own juices. She takes me back in, this time he movements of her hips are faster and quicker, just like I need it. I grasp both of her asscheeks, accompanying the movements of her pelvis and she holds me against her, our chests touching and I can feel her hardened nipples against me.
Her pace is steady but without losing its speed or intensity but I soon enough find myself needing to go faster and harder. I surround her hips with both of my arms and she understands my needs. She hides her face into my neck, holding me even tighter against her. I hold her hips still and I start fucking into her harder and deeper, compared to her previous movements.
"I need you on your back, baby..." I whisper in her ear and she doesn't protest at my request. She quickly does as I say, removing herself from top of me a little too faster, but she drops on the mattress just as fast, with her legs wide open to welcome me in again.
Once I adjust myself between her legs and I fill her up again, she moans against my lips and wraps her legs around my hips right away. One of my hands grasps our white sheets in a fist and my knuckles quickly turn of the same color as it, while my other hand rests on her waist. I pound into her without holding myself back, getting completely lost in her.
"Baby, fuck..." she moans in my ear, bringing her hand in my hair to pull at it, while the other stays on my back, with her nails deep into it, scratching and marking me down.
"You want to cum, yeah?" I whisper back at her and she frenetically nods her head. I feel just as near as her, I can't resist any further. My thrusts get even faster inside of her, deeper. I bring my hand on her breast, cupping it, and teasing her nipple to bring her upcoming orgasm further.
I soon enough feel her whole body tensing up, she arches her back against me and toes her curls. Seeing her completely taken in her high, seeing the way her body contorts and the shape of her lips while she moans her name gets me all the time. I spill my warm liquid inside of her right after, completely emptying myself.
"I love you so much, fuck..." I murmur against her skin, when she wraps her arms around me and closes her eyes. Her lips curve into a smile at my words.
"I love you pretty much too..." she says back, bringing her hand on my forehead, to push my sticky hair away from it. I wrap my arm around her waist and I draw her toward the center of the bed to get with her under the sheets.
"We have to tell everyone..." I say excited and when she looks up at me, it almost seems like I can spot a glance of nervousness into her eyes that then get swiftly swiped away with a smile.
"We'll have to start with Andres, don't you think? I feel like it won't be that easy with him, he just got used to the idea of us being together..." she sighs, lowering her stare again and capturing her lower lip between her teeth.
"He'll be fine... he's already accepted the idea, as you said." I shrug my shoulders and she smiles at me. "And it's not like we have to get married right away, we're engaged and don't have any kind of rush in the world..." She nods her head at my words and then kisses my lips again.
"I love how it sounds... it seems like things are finally going in the right direction for us." She tells me, stroking my chest with the tip of her index by tracing the borders of my tattoos. I bring my hand on her cheek and caress it delicately.
"I've never had a doubt... we're getting what we deserve, Scar." I kiss her lips right after and she smiles against mine.
The silence fills up the room right after and she doesn't take too long to fall asleep between my arms and I don't move, I just keep her between them enjoying the proximity of our bodies.
When she wakes up again, it's because of her phone that starts ringing. She's been sleeping for a couple of hours and I've taken a nap too. She quickly gets up from my body, pushing the blankets off of her body.
I immediately understand that the ringing was because of a set alarm on her phone, rather than someone calling.
"What's wrong?" I ask her. She didn't mention any kind of plan for this afternoon. She stops the alarm and shrugs her shoulders.
"Nothing, I just use it as a reminder to take my pills." She ties her hair in a ponytail with the hair tie on her wrist and then gets her silk robe from the chair right next to the bed to cover her naked body.
"What pills?" She walks to the bathroom and then comes back with a glass filled with water after a few seconds.
"Birth control." She says, as if it was obvious to me. I furrow my eyebrows while I look at her. I thought she couldn't get pregnant at all, when she told me she couldn't have kids.
"I thought you couldn-" I try to say but she's quick to stop me.
"I can, I just can't carry on the pregnancy." She shrugs her shoulders again and then swallows her water with the pill she has to take every day.
"Did they explain why?" I find myself asking, not feeling able to hold back. I know it's still painful for her to talk about it but I can't help but wonder, since she doesn't really talk about it.
"The drugs they gave me while I was down there have heavily affected the mechanisms of my body and the doctor I went to told me that he seriously doubts that my body will ever be able to carry on a full pregnancy." I get up from the bed and get near to where she's standing, with her back facing me, and I wrap my arms around her, holding her tight to me.
"I'm sorry..." I whisper against her skin, leaving a kiss on her shoulder. She stays silent, she just takes a deep breath, but doesn't move at all. I have to stop myself from asking her to check with some other doctor here in the States, because I know how she would react and I don't want to end up such a beautiful day with another argument. This is supposed to be a happy day for us. "You don't deserve that..." I hear her chuckle at my words, she pushes her neck backward and rests her head on my shoulder.
"Remember what you said earlier?" She moves her head toward me to look at me. I immediately remember what I had said and I feel a tight hold on my heart. "That we're both getting exactly what we deserve..."
"I didn't mean it like that, Scar..." I quickly shake my head and she shrugs her shoulders at my protests.
"No, it's fine... you were right." She sighs. "I got what I deserve. No matter how much I try to change what I did..." she frees herself from my hold and starts walking back and forth around the room. "I can change it by being a better person but I can't delete it." She chuckles, stopping then in front of me and facing me. "I deserve this."
"You deserve nothing of the bad things that happened to you, Scar." She chuckles again at my words and sits down on the border of our bed. I immediately kneel down on the floor in front of her and I take her hands in mine. "It's been almost five years... you can't keep blaming yourself for that."
"I'm not blaming myself, but I know that everything happens for a reason." She sighs and then frees one of her hand from my hold to bring it to my cheek. "It's called karma, Harry. That you want to believe it or not, I got what I deserved because of what I did."
"Karma doesn't work like that, you don't get punished for something you did in the past for your whole life." She sighs at my words and slowly shakes her head, lowering her stare on our hands connected.
"Sometimes I think that the worst punishment was staying alive, actually..." when the words come out of her mouth so easily I almost think about hearing it wrong, at first. Then, right after, my heart stops beating for a time that seems endless, before starting to beat like crazy again, all in the matter of a few seconds. We've never talked about it since we've met again but I thought that she had gone out of the dark place she used to be in, that she was better, but I never tried to actually check, to make sure, because I didn't want to bring up her memories, but maybe I just did it worse. I've asked her to marry me and I didn't even know her mind still goes to those dark places sometimes.
"You never told me you still feel like that..." I whisper, trying to force my voice out. My mouth feels completely dry and I feel a hold at the base of my neck. Attacking her, making her feel bad about what she said isn't going to help her. It would just make her close off completely.
"Not all the time..." she takes a deep breath and lowers her stare. Her thumb strokes the back of my hand.
"Do I remind you of that? Do I make you feel worse?" I quickly ask and she furrows her eyebrows at my words, seeming almost shocked by the fact that I would even think about the possibility.
"No!" She quickly says, shaking her head. "I feel better than I have ever felt in a long time with you." She brings both of her hands on my face and she lowers down to me, our forehead and nose' tips now touching.
"So I just need to stop bringing up kids, right?" I ask her, bringing my hand on her own on my face to delicately stroke it.
"Please..." she slowly nods her head and then closes her eyes, before bringing her lips to mine.
I wrap my arms around her waist and I draw her down of the bed, on my lap. Her arms quickly surround my neck and her lips are on mine again, this time deepening the kiss.
My hand reaches the knot of her robe quickly and soon enough her naked body is against mine again. The next thing I know is that we get lost into each other over and over again.
*
Once we had managed to get into the shower and then get dressed, we had decided to spend the rest of the day going around to shop for furniture. We have picked together great part of what we needed and the majority of it is going to be delivered on Monday. We have also bought the soccer nets to put in the garden for Andres and some balls for him to play. Before heading home, we had to buy groceries, since Scarlett insisted. I normally always survive using Uber Eats, but Scarlett didn't really like the idea. Women, obviously.
The rest of the evening has gone by cooking together, then eating and watching a movie. We hadn't brought up what she had said this afternoon and she had seemed to be definitely better. Her good mood was back and I had stopped worrying, at least for today.
I decide to sleep in on Saturday morning, since Andres is going to land around 12 P.M.. When I finally woke up, without any rush, the first thing I notice is that Scarlett is not in bed with me anymore. I push the blankets off of my body, I wear a clean pair of boxers and then I walk out of the room, looking for her. I don't take too long, my first guess was the right one. I find her in her art studio, in front of a — now — painted canvas. The colors are intense, there's a lot of orange, red, but also colder colors like grey and black. Between all the ones she's done, this one reminds me the most of her first painting, the one that now is hanging in the living room.
"Couldn't sleep?" She finally notices my presence when she hears my voice. She turns around and gives me a soft smile. She has some paint on her face, her hair is up in a messy bun and she's wearing one of my white t-shirt, that is all dirtied up with paints now.
"Felt inspired..." she says, shaking her head at my answer. Usually, she's always the one that sleeps in. I take a few steps toward her and at this point she stands up too, to greet me with a kiss on the lips. "Do you like it?" She asks me, taking my hand and intertwining her fingers with mine.
"I love it..." I nod my head and she smiles at me.
"I don't think I wanna sell this one..." she tells me, giving the painting in front of her one more careful look, so I do too. There's less contrast between the paints on the canvas, compared to her other paintings. The colors just seem to mix perfectly together, creating a good harmony between them.
"No?" I ask her with a smile and she nods her head again.
"I want to call this one Harry." She tells me. At her words, I immediately bring again my eyes on her. She doesn't seem to be joking, her eyes just look at me with intensity.
"It's about me?" I ask, pointing at the canvas with my index. She nods her head and smiles at me.
"I've tried to paint you so many times... but I was never satisfied with the result. There was always something off... then after yesterday it came out so natural." At her words, my lips immediately curve into a smile. I like knowing that she's been thinking about me all along too. I like looking at the canvas in front of us and knowing that it's completely about me, that she painted it thinking about me and no one else.
"I love it and I love you, Scar..." I bring my hand on her cheek and she looks up at me as I speak.
"I love you too and I never want you to doubt that..." she sighs and then puts on a soft smile. "I know that what I said yesterday may have been seemed off," she lowers her stare as she starts. "But I don't want you to think that I don't feel thankful for my life and for the possibility I'm having right now to spend the rest of it with you." While she speaks, her eyes get quickly watery. "I've been doing a lot of thinking since last night and I'm never going to get better if I keep running away from what hurts me..." she bursts out, probably feeling a little overwhelmed by whatever she's trying to tell me right now. She takes a deep breath and I can tell she's nervous, so I bring both of my hand on her shoulders to calm her down.
"Breathe." I tell her and she giggles at me, nodding her head and taking a deep sigh. "I love you and you're allowed to feel in a certain way and I want you to tell me every time, whenever you're feeling sad or scared, or just happy." She smiles and I do too. "We're going through it all together, you never have to face it alone." I stroke her cheek with my thumb and she grabs my hand, bringing it to her lips to kiss it.
"I know..." she nods her head. "That's why I'm not scared this time." She says right after with a sigh.
"Scared of what?" I ask her with my eyebrows slightly furrowed.
"I want to see your doctors... I want to know whatever is there a possibility to ever have a child or not."