| March 18 | Sunday Morning |
~ Megan's POV ~
My body was weak the next morning from the lack of sleep after last night. Sam had snapped, and I recognized that look in her eyes. It was the same look she had when I first met her. Something was haunting her, and she refused to tell me what was going on.
So, when she went off, I couldn't help but shut her out.
It's not because I wanted to punish her or push her away. I locked her out because sometimes she needed tough love. She needed someone to show her how her reactions affected the ones around her.
She didn't fight to come in when I locked her out. She didn't even knock, which showed me she believed she deserved to sleep on the couch. I wanted to see if doing that would provoke an apology, but it didn't, which then kept me awake most of the night.
I climbed out of bed and opened the door, seeing Sam curled up on the couch. The fact that she was still asleep led me to believe she hadn't gotten much sleep during the night either.
Charlie escaped our room and jumped onto the couch, waking my girlfriend with morning kisses. Sam squirmed and came to the realization that I was standing in the door watching her.
She rubbed her eyes. "Megan..."
Her voice was groggy and sad. It made my heart quiver in pain. I knew me locking her out last night had hurt her, but the fact that she had refused to talk to me about what was bothering her for a week hurt me too. I had no idea what was going on. Was it something I did? Something I said?
"Please come here," she begged.
My feet instinctively walked towards her.
She moved so I could join her on the couch.
"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean to freak out yesterday... I just, I don't know why..."
There was a look in her eyes, something that told me she wasn't telling the truth. She knew why she freaked out. She knew what was bothering her. She knew but she wouldn't tell me.
"Sam." She stopped talking. "You're lying."
Her jaw clenched at the accusation. Then her head dropped.
"Nikki came into Jinx last Friday," she revealed. My heart stopped. "She brought up the last time you two slept together. She told me that she asked you if you still loved her after and that you didn't answer her..."
Her voice trembled and then fell. Nikki and Sam had run into each other? And Sam hadn't told me? Why?
"Sam..."
"Did you still love her?" Sam asked.
"No." I shook my head. "Is that what's been bothering you?"
She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes again. Her hesitation was worrying me.
"She insinuated that you might still have feelings." Sam picked at her fingers. "I freaked out. I just lost control... like I used to back in high school. Mariah came outside with me and tried calming me down, but nothing was working..."
The mentioning of Mariah made my skin hot.
"She uh... she offered me weed to help calm me down." Sam couldn't look at me. "I took a hit, but that's it."
I was mad, but I was more upset at the fact that Sam had felt the need to keep this from me. All of this could've been avoided had she been honest. What made her feel like she couldn't be? What had I done to make her feel like that?
I took her head between my hands. "Sam... I'm not upset."
Her bloodshot eyes looked up.
"I'm upset you bottled everything up and kept it from me," I revealed. "And I'm upset you didn't tell me about Nikki saying that stuff."
She exhaled a deep breath.
"I don't care that you took a hit," I continued. "I just don't want you running to things like that when you're in pain, considering your past."
Sam nodded, understanding what I was truly upset about. She needed to know that she didn't have to be scared to come to me about things like this. She needed to know that I wasn't going to leave her, and I had a feeling that's where her insecurities were stemming from.
"What are you afraid of?" I whispered.
She flexed her jaw and pulled away from me.
"You leaving me," she revealed. "Nikki being back. Nikki finding other ways to cause tension between us..."
"Stop worrying about Nikki," I demanded. "She has nothing to do with this relationship."
I realized that's not what she needed to hear by her reaction. She just leaned back into the couch numbly.
"I'm not going anywhere, Sam." I moved closer. "Do you hear me? I'm in love with you. And we are going to be fine. But I need you to trust me enough to be open with me about what you're feeling."
She finally looked at me like she believed what I was saying. I felt my heart sigh in relief.
Sometimes, Sam needed more reassurance. Sometimes, her anxiety got to her, and her past resurfaced. Sometimes, she couldn't control it.
That's when I had to step in and reassure her everything was fine. I didn't mind doing it, but I needed to know what she needed from me in order to do my job, and I couldn't do that if she didn't tell me.
I pulled her into me, hoping that she could feel the love I had for her. Life was getting hectic, and the semester was keeping me away from her more than usual. I knew all of this, on top of Nikki showing up, was probably getting to her. Along with the whole Mariah situation.
I still wasn't sure how I felt about that girl...
But for now, we were fine, as long as Sam stayed honest with me.
And as long as Nikki stayed the hell away from my girlfriend.
~ ~ ~
A few days passed after the whole incident for St. Patrick's Day, and everything seemed like it was back to normal. Sam and I were fine, she promised to stay honest and open with me, and I agreed to do the same. Everything seemed alright, and I was grateful.
I was currently walking through the Business department to drop off some paperwork since I was still working for the University. I was aware there was a chance I could run into Nikki here, considering this is the building she taught in. But did I want to see her?
And then, as predicted, I spotted Nikki down the hall.
A part of me wanted to turn around and avoid her, but another wanted to ask her why the hell she had told Sam those things. She had really messed with her head, and I needed her to know I wasn't okay with that.
I approached her, watching the student she was talking to walk away. Her eyes caught mine, but I kept a stern expression.
"Hey Meg-"
"Why the hell did you tell Sam those things the other night at Jinx?" I interrupted.
Her face fell, but she tried her best to play it off. If she really thought I was here to have small talk, she was sadly mistaken.
"Am I supposed to let your girlfriend talk to me like I'm subhuman?" she retorted. "Because if you're expecting me to let her to bully me simply because I'm your ex, you're wrong."
I narrowed my eyes. "Sam didn't bully you."
"Yeah? Is that what she told you?"
Just for a moment did I hesitate. Had Sam said something to Nikki to cause her to reciprocate something even harsher? Sam hadn't told me the entirety of what had gone down. She just told me the main points.
No. I would take my girlfriend's side in this, because I believed her. Nikki was manipulative. I knew that first hand.
"Just stay away from her," I finished.
But when I turned, Nikki called out.
"I'm not gonna hide," she said.
I turned around. "It's not about hiding¸ Nikki. It's about respect."
"Respect?" She laughed. "Listen, Megan. I live here. Just like you and just like Sam. I'm not gonna avoid the only LGBT bar in this city because your girlfriend owns it."
"Owns-?" I stopped myself, realizing Nikki still thought that Sam had half the ownership of Jinx. If I told Nikki Sam didn't partially own Jinx, she would surely throw that to her face as well. I decided to let it go.
"I'm not telling you to avoid it," I finished. "Just avoid her."
"It's not like I haven't been."
I turned away and replayed the conversation in my head. There were holes in this story, and I didn't want to believe Nikki over my girlfriend, but I knew how Sam was. She was a hot head, which she demonstrated this past weekend. And I knew she definitely could've said something to set Nikki off. I just didn't know what.
I just hoped we could survive the next few months until we could get the hell away from Columbia.
And hopefully all the drama.
***A/N***
Things seem to be getting sticky for Segan now that Nikki is around! Anyways, thank you all for reading. You guys are fantastic, and I love you all very much. I'll miss you all next week, but I'll be back! Hopefully with more ideas and content!
Please Vote and Comment if you enjoyed this update!
Much love,
Lauryn