"Announcing the arrival of the Emperor!"
The sudden announcement from the eunuch that was in charge for guarding the Empress' inner chamber, sent the palace maids inside to almost stumble.
However, their mistress – the Empress – merely straightened herself from the daybed that she was laying on, and calmly poised herself for the Emperor's arrival.
She lowered her eyes and slightly bended her knees to prepare for her greetings. The attending maids were already kneeling behind her, their heads touching the floor. No one – except the Empress – should directly see or greet the Emperor on their own accord.
When the golden embroidered shoes came into view, Empress Zhen lowered her head in full bow as she greeted him,
"Long live the Emperor. May the Emperor live for ten of thousand of years."
To which, her maids followed in greeting, their melodious voices reverberating in the majestically furnished chamber that could only belong to a queen.
Empress Zhen could not see Emperor Zhang's face. However, she saw the movement - flurry of purple shoes from her limited view – due to her eyes still directed at the ground. The shoes and feet belonged to her maids who scurried like little mice, making their hasty ways towards outside the chamber.
She could only assume the Emperor had gestured for the maids to leave them alone.
As a subdued woman that she was, she waited.
A pair of hands lifted her from her bowing position, and she could not help but to stiffen at his touch.
Still, she did not dare to look at him.
"Dear Empress," The Emperor sighed. He paused after his first calling of her – both were standing still.
"Ying-er..."
Her dainty eyebrows were slightly knotted at the sudden calling of her little name. She let her body be guided by his hand towards the very same daybed.
She stayed silent.
Zhen HeYing(1).
She was named by her father – Old General Xun. The only daughter of the mighty Old General who played his part in supporting the throne of the Emperor. The only blood sister of the current bearer of the Wolf Seal, General Zhen YongWen. The Imperial Aunt of Zhen BuFeng.
Her whole family members were accomplished and respected personages.
She was named after a beautiful bird – the crane, and a strong bird – a falcon. To be as graceful as a crane, but strong as a falcon.
But her wings were always clipped.
She became the mother of the empire when she was crowned the Empress.
From birth, she was trained in female virtues. She was the best in the four arts amongst the many females in Da Lang, she was groomed to be a queen.
"If qie(2) may ask the Emperor, for what reason that the Emperor has graced qie with his presence this late at night?"
He had told her earlier as they left the banquet, that he was going to visit her. But even as the sun set and darkness fell, she did not want to hope.
Even as they sat down on the daybed, she tried her best to focus her sight on the lush cushions, the carving of the bed's frame, his robe -
His silk robe, embroidered with figures of dragons in gold. It fit his body so perfectly.
"Ying-er," Emperor Zhang touched her chin suddenly, and gently lifted her face.
She could feel the intensity of his gaze, only then she dared to slowly tilt her gaze to meet his.
"There. Now you are willing to see me properly," there was an amused tone in his low voice.
"This man is so unfair."
"Emperor... .", she muttered softly after a few seconds of contemplation.
"Can you not call me SongWang like you used to, Ying-er?"
"This man is so unfair."
She suddenly became somewhat irritated. They both knew the past was just a past. The past time when they both called each other by their little names – it was gone forever.
Now, he was the Emperor. She was the Empress.
And she knew one sole reason he actually even visited her chamber tonight.
"SongWang...," She conceded. Why would she not play along with his little game? After all, she was now far too old to care about winning or losing,
"Do you blame me for my rudeness at the banquet?"
As she tried to keep looking into his eyes, she admonished herself that despite what she had been trying to convince herself, this man still caused tiny butterflies to form in her stomach.
Zhang SongWang gave her his usual lopsided smile – one corner of his lips was lifted higher than the other. It never changed. It was the smile of someone so confident in himself, it was the smile of a conqueror.
Just how he had conquered her.
He shook his head.
Who were they trying to fool? Surely, he would have noticed as well – why she had lost her composure in front of so many subjects.
She thought she had come back to life. Complete with her heavy-lidded eyes, complete with her heart-wrenching voice.
"SongWang," her cheeks began to grow warm in her inner-anguish, "She... that singer...," she stressed her word on the young woman that had made her restless,
"That child, that is called Bai YuLan...,"
"I saw Royal Consort Chin-fei in her."
Zhang SongWang's smile was frozen.
She took a deep breath.
"See? He noticed."
"Chin-fei – JingYi-mei --, they look similar. Even the voice is similar."
Despite years of training in her composure - that even when she was sleeping, her posture was always perfect –, her shoulders slumped.
"Forget it, I am much too old to stage a play. Especially when the fool in this play is only myself."
She had spent her childhood and youth being groomed to be this man's partner.
She had spent her blossoming years, waiting for him to come back. For him to be her King, and for her to be his Queen.
Then he came back from the Northern Plains, with another young woman in his arms.
Despite everything, he still made her, his Queen. But Zhen HeYing knew that she was never the queen in his heart.
JingYi – who was later titled as Royal Consort Chin after her death – had that privilege.
[Though arduous, separation is endured]
[Entrusting the wild geese to head south; but this heart, where should it go?]
[These pure feelings will never waver]
The verses sung by that familiar voice struck her heart – a heart that she thought she had locked in the deepest of the ocean inside her.
As soon as he ascended the throne, Zhang SongWang made her the Empress. He had Zhang KongJing and Zhang JunLi with her, before even expanding his harem – despite the constant pressure of the ministers and other powers who wanted to also put their daughters in the inner palace.
Women, were just tools for power expansion.
He had done everything appropriately as an Emperor, as the father of the nation.
Zhen HeYing knew she might be too greedy. Apart from Zhang GuoFu, who was born by JingYi, Zhang SongWang made sure that the imperial lineage was kept to as minimum as possible to allow smooth ascension to Zhang KongJing.
She should know, to be an Empress, was to share the Emperor with other women whose families were also influential.
Still, even after JingYi's death, she could not even wholeheartedly nurture Zhang GuoFu like her own. Hence the Emperor had always taken his own steps to make sure the child grew up safe. He also tied him to General Ji's daughter.
All was well, until this day, when she saw the familiar face again. When she heard the familiar voice again.
The song was mocking her.
She had waited for this man during her youth, but she could never obtain what she wanted – his heart.
Zhang SongWang sighed,
"I know. Hence why I visit you tonight."
Her body grew rigid.
"Have I not been tormented enough?"
"Ying-er, JingYi is the past." He did not let her to pull away from him, despite her clear indication to do so. She had started to pull her right arm – that was still in his grasp – to release herself.
He slightly strengthened his fingerhold on her chin, causing her eyes to unable to tear away from his deep pupils. When he felt her struggle to ease up, he started to run his finger slowly on her cheek.
She could only stare at him with eyes full of questions and bewilderment.
"Surely he is not mistaking me for JingYi?"
"And no, I am not holding JingYi," he seemed to read her mind, "I am holding my Empress."
"Who is he trying to fool? Me? Or himself?"
"Ying-er," The Emperor sighed again. She had never seen or heard him sighing this much.
Somehow, she was delighted. She knew she should feel wretched at his melancholy, but she was somehow glad that he showed the tiniest bit of weakness in front of her.
"I loved JingYi."
Her breath hitched.
"But my love sent her to her death."
She stayed silent.
"JingYi was a free being. Yet, I forced her to be tied to me. She was willing, but I knew that she would be suffering as she was contained."
"My selfishness, caused her to die inside the lavish cage of this empire."
The Northern Plains people were wanderers. They were nomads.
JingYi - Royal Consort Chin-fei - had a marking of a wild poppy flower on her chest. Zhen HeYing knew and had seen it herself when the latter entered the inner palace.
All people of the Jing tribe had markings on their bodies. The females usually had flowers or plants markings; the males usually had markings of animals. It was granted and inked onto them as soon as they were born. The special colors were derived from natural plants and herbs only existed in the Northern Plains - the marking would only visible to the eyes when the skin was touched or affected by heat.
Zhang GuoFu - although part of him was a Jing - did not have that marking, as he was born in Da Lang.
"She was a wild poppy. She should be blooming in the wild. If I had not caged her in my own selfishness, she would probably still be alive somewhere, loving someone else." There was a slight sadness in his tone as he spoke those last words.
Time, had washed lust.
Time, had washed desire and possessiveness.
Especially when the object of those destructive emotions was no longer living.
But for Zhen HeYing, he was still here.
"Ying-er," he trailed his fingers again on his cheek, "That child's song," he paused then added,
"Despite who she really is, tell the both of us the reality of living, struggling,..."
His eyes were gentle as he gazed into hers, "... and waiting."
She then realized his more fervent touch as he wiped some moistness from the corner of her eyes.
"Have I actually cried?"
"I... have kept you waiting."
"I am sorry."
Her tears fell as she sobbed silently.
Her years of being trained to have an Empress' bearing; an Empress' composure; an Empress' pride and elegance;
-- and her years of built-up envy; and her years of loneliness;
She crumbled.
Zhang SongWang had a slight panic expression on his face as his fingers continuously wiped the tears off her face. And her tears kept falling.
She chuckled at his fuddled expression.
He was relieved slightly at her small laugh, and pulled her into his embrace.
His warmth - that used to always felt fake to her when JingYi was still alive - felt very real at that moment.
She wanted to believe.
"Ying-er," he sighed, burying his chin on her hair, "You are alive. I am alive. Let's not dwell on the past. I will never leave you. I will never keep you waiting again. Let's live this life together."
And that was good enough.
Zhen HeYing was named after two birds. Birds should be free.
But this cage that she was living in, also had him in it. Even if the cage was opened for her to leave anytime she wanted -
-- She would never leave.
That night, the Dragon and the Phoenix embraced each other in silent tenderness. Both of them were already past the times where their physical urges took control of their minds, but under the blanket of the night, their warmth towards each other was the only thing they could ever wish for.
----------------------
As the Emperor left for court the next morning and Zhen HeYing finished her morning bath, she called for her eunuch,
"Zhi gong-gong,"
The eunuch hurriedly entered the room and bowed towards her, as her maids primped and dressed her.
"Send a calling card to the Ji family," she smiled - a sincere smile that she could finally muster after such a long time,
"Ask for Young Miss Ji LanBai to be summoned to Bengong's palace. Bengong would love to meet and get closer to GuoFu-er's future wangfei."
The maids and the eunuch heard and noticed her endearing affection when their Mistress said the Third Prince's little name. It was certainly the first ever - the Empress had only been pretending to be oblivious, if not polite - towards the Third Prince before.
Zhen HeYing smiled as she stared at the reflection in the copper mirror in front of her.
She would live.
She did not have any personal discontentment towards Royal Consort Chin-fei, only jealousy from her husband's past affection towards the latter.
But she was still alive. Zhang SongWang was still alive.
If Zhang GuoFu was precious to SongWang, she would do her best to support her husband. She would be an Imperial Mother to the Third Prince - not just in title only.
And getting to know her future daughter-in-law was the first step.
---------------------------
Notes:
(1) He = crane, Ying = Falcon.
(2) Qie = a way of calling towards one-self, usually used by Imperial Empress/Consorts. It is also equivalent to "I"
runexi's notes:
Thanks for reading <3. Read, vote, comment, as this may be the last update within the next couple of weeks.
Just pray that I will have a safe flight *shudders at her own novel's opening*
Btw, if any of you forgot JingYi, ch 1.13 mentioned her briefly