Warning: language
"You brat, you were supposed to take her out not take her life!!! What were you even thinking, huh?!" shouted a woman from a distance. Or was it really that far away? My ears felt like they had honey in them so it was hard to tell.
Opening my eyelids was impossible because of how heavy they felt so I concentrated on listening to my surroundings though that was a hard process as well because my body was on the brink of slipping into unconsciousness the entire time.
The voices mumbled something again but comprehending what they were saying was, just like everything else, impossible because my brain was just mush in this state.
"You better pray for your life because if we don't manage to save her legs your going to lose it. Are we clear? Now get away before I change my mind and kill you anyway."
Finally something I could hear again and I wanted to laugh at the person that was being threatened but at the same time I wasn't sure if I understood the rest correctly.
What did they mean by saving my legs? I didn't feel any pain so they must've been alright, right?
Why and how was all of this even happening? My brain was still way too clouded to think clearly or remember where I was or what was happening.
"Take this one into surgery immediately. We can't afford to lose a valuable resource... Why are you still standing around?! Go! Now! Or do you want to end up like that stupid brat?"
There was pressure on my arms and legs and a moment later the world started to sway again making me dizzy and nauseous.
While the world kept swaying, a couple of voices mumbled something though my brain couldn't grasp a thing they were saying let alone focus on the situation.
The next thing I felt was a jolt and for a short moment the world seemed to have stopped swaying until a loud noise started. The noise was unbearable and the vibrations underneath me slowly but surely gave me a headache. Finally something I could clearly distinguish and feel!
Whatever was happening was the most unpleasant thing I have felt in a very long time. The world was not swaying smoothly anymore but jerking left and right, up and down over and over again making me more and more nauseous until my stomach started to contract.
Still not being able to move, I could only helplessly feel acidic liquid pouring out of my mouth and nose. And then I couldn't breath.
'You fuckers, I'm suffocating! Help me!' I tried shouting those words again and again but nothing happened.
It was then that my brain realized there was a beeping noise that quickened its rhythm until the sound was drowned by a person shouting.
"She's vomiting! I need help turning her to the side!"
The world swayed again and I kept vomiting from the still lingering nausea. The liquids flowed again and I felt my mouth and nose emptying slowly though it wasn't fast enough.
"We need suction!" shouted the voice.
After my nose and mouth cleared up again there was pressure around my mouth and nose. An oxygen mask probably.
The world jerked up and down again making me hit my head on something and slip into unconsciousness.
-
"There are several bullets stuck in her bones. Two in the left fibula[2] , one in the left femur[1] one almost completely shattered her right patella[3] and three are in the right femur and we have remains of bullets in her right gastrocnemius[4]." Someone said, his words muffled.
"How on earth are we going to save her legs? A miracle must happen for us to be successful and let's be real we can forget about that. We can say goodbye to our precious life already." mumbled another person.
"Honestly, I don't know. Call more surgeons because she'll start bleeding out as soon as we remove the bullets and we need all the hands we can get. Also call a neurosurgeon to try and save her nerves and don't forget the orthopedic surgeon for saving her bones. Tell them that we might need a lot of metal."
"Sir, be real! This is impossible! Kiss your ass goodbye and just amputate her legs, man!" A man shouted almost incoherently.
Was it still my mind or were they just drunk?
I wish I knew what was going on and even though I did hear what they were saying, my brain refused to process the information.
"You're out of your mind. Just think about the reputation and glory we'll receive once we do this. This will be revolutionary and just imagine the advances we'll make once she can work with us. Think about the power!"
With that no one said anything and the only sound left was some shuffling around and that beeping sound. Fortunately, the world was stable again and my nausea vanished as well though the sour taste still lingered.
My brain wasn't as mushed and gooey anymore and it became easier and easier to perceive things again. Comprehending and processing was another story but at least it was a start.
Legs. They are talking about my legs an awfully lot. What is that all about? They're fine, aren't they?
I tried focusing on my legs, and all I could feel was pressure in certain spots. Nothing too major. A weird sensation in my neck made itself noticeable and as soon as I focused on it, a painful feeling emerged.
Was it a bee sting? I couldn't tell but it definitely hurt like a bitch. If only I could feel the spot with my hands that just didn't want to budge the tiniest fraction of an inch.
Focusing back on my surroundings I heard voices, this time more clearly as if the honey in my ears disappeared.
"Chief, we heard you need help?" A woman said followed by shuffling feet from multiple people.
"Correct. Multiple GSWs with several bullets stuck in her femur, fibula as well as patella and remains of bullets in her muscles. We need to stop the bleeding we have right now before we proceed with removing the bullets."
GSWs. Gunshot wounds? Really? But my legs were fine!
'Hey you shitheads! My legs are just fine!' No sound came out.
The pressure in my legs increased and it got to a point where I wanted to do something, anything, to stop the unbearable discomfort I was feeling. But just like before, nothing moved.
The discomfort gradually turned into pain and at this point I just wanted to scream and shout to help deal with the pain. No injury I've ever experienced could live up to this pain. No bruise, no dislocation not even the fracture of my ring and middle finger a couple of years ago.
There was a moment where the pain subsided which gave me some time to think again and I immediately remembered something.
I have experienced this before! The pressure that turned into pain. The discomfort. I've been shot before, seven years ago in the first war. It was someone unknown who apparently shot me with a sniper which explained why I was never able to see what was about to happen.
Who even did that to me this time? Was it the divergent maybe?
Before I could even think of an answer, the pain suddenly shot back again.
"Left femur done. The bullet only grazed it and only a couple of splinters are there." exclaimed a person followed by more pressure in the area. "Stop the bleeding I'll proceed with the bullets in the left fibula."
It felt like they were stabbing me and twisting the knifes in the process, that's how fucking painful it was.
By now I fully realized that I was in surgery though I kept asking myself if they put me under anesthesia or if I was just under shock.
As I lay there helplessly, I couldn't stop wanting to scream. With each removed bullet the pain increased yet moving or making the slightest sound was still an impossible task.
Was I maybe paralyzed? Probably not because how would I be able to feel the pain then? I felt someone shifting my left leg which only brought more pain but no mater how agonizing and unbearable it was, I never fell unconscious even though I badly wanted that to happen to make this torture stop.
"The nerves do have some damage to them but it won't prevent them from healing. We might have to help a little bit with the growth later on but it's nothing impossible with lots and lots of rest and therapy. You have my permission to move on." said another voice I didn't recognize.
"Putting the rods in. Prepare for accidental bleeding." said someone else.
I thought the pain I've experienced so far was the worst it could get yet when they started doing whatever they were doing, it became worse than any human being should experience.
While my heart started pounding faster and faster a pending scream started to build up and I couldn't help but let it out.
What came out was nothing but a muffled sound coming out of my mouth but it was enough to alert everyone around me.
'That's right fuckers, I'm awake and very much aware of what you're doing.'
Again only a muffled sound came out.
"Why is she doing that?" shouted a voice. "Why the fuck is she not unconscious?!"
'That's what I've been asking myself the entire time. Now fucking do something about this pain or kill me!'
Again only a silent muffled sound.
A couple of people mumbled incoherent words all at the same time though no one dared to speak out.
"Hey. You. Anesthesiologist! Why the fuck is she awake? Were you sleeping? Why is this happening? Explain! Now!"
A guy first stuttered before he could give an answer.
"I-i-i I don't know. She's supposed to be unconscious but there must be something wrong with the anesthesia."
"Have you checked the dosis? How much did you give her?"
"Well... because she had the paralyzing serum in her system I didn't have to give her as much so-"
"So what? Didn't you think about the effects of the serum wearing off? You're an anesthesiologist for fucks sake yet you're incapable of taking into account the simplest things. Give her a higher dose and then get out! Someone call another anesthesiologist!"
The room fell silent again apart from the beeping machines. Trying to assess the situation, I tried focusing on anything, unable to open my eyes, but the only thing that caught my attention was the agonizing pain creeping up from my legs. It first felt like thousands of bees stinging me and only seconds after like knifes were stabbing and twisting while someone tried to rip my legs of.
Another scream escaped, still only coming out as a strained and muffled sound, my heart picking up speed at the same time.
"Heart rate increasing. BP rising rapidly." shouted a woman and it sounded like she was miles away.
"Fuck, the stitches are bursting! She's loosing way too much blood way too quickly!"
"The holes in her arteries are getting bigger!"
"BP dropping."
"Shit, I'm having trouble stitching these back up!"
"BP down to 40!"
"FUCK!!!"
"36... 35. Sir we're losing her."
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Very dramatic, I know hahaha but whoops.
Also sorry if this is not a 100% medically accurate but I'm not a doctor (obviously) and all my knowledge comes from Grey's Anatomy and Google 😂
Anyway I hope you still enjoyed this and also here's a definition of the medical terms:
[1] femur: the upper bone in the leg and the biggest one in a humans body
[2] fibula: one of the bones in your lower leg
[3] patella: the kneecap
[4] gastrocnemius: muscle in your lower leg, also known as the calf (I think)