I heard about what happened to Connor so I drove to the O2L house. I knocked on Connor's door and he opened it. I hugged him. He hugged back. He started crying. It broke my heart to see one of my best friends crying.
Little bit later
Kian took a picture of me and Connor hugging so I put it on Instagram with the caption.
"Connor, I love you."
"I love you too, Grace."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to."
"But why?"
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"But you hurt yourself more."
"I know, but that's okay."
@connorfranta I love you so much💗you are so strong! It really hurts to see you hurt and crying. 😔Connor, please stay strong...you mean everything to me. You're one of my best friends...you helped when I needed it, so please stay positive💕
End of Instagram caption
@GraceJensen: "But you hurt yourself more."
"I know, but that's okay."😔
@ConnorFranta: 😔
@GraceJensen:@connorfranta you never told me...
@ConnorFranta: I'm sorry...
@GraceJensen: #WeLoveYouConnor
THE NEXT DAY
I decided to do a YouNow.
"Ok hi guys." I sighed.
A bunch of the comments asked what was wrong.
"I'm on here to talk about Connor." I said.
"It really hurts me because seeing Connor getting hate for leaving O2L. I don't think you understand that he wasn't happy. If you were a true O2Ler or whatever you would understand that he's just doing it to be happy. He wasn't hiding the sadness with that beautiful smile that everyone falls for. I just wanted to come on here and say that I am here for Connor 100%, he is one of my best friends. Connor is still doing videos on his channel just not O2L. He will hopefully be a new, happy, real Connor." I said.
"I love you guys so much. Please send Connor nothing but love he deserves for everything he's been through. It hurts me to he anyone sad and the only thing that matters to me right now is Connor. I love you guys so much and I'll see you later beautiful people later." I blew a kiss and left.
I have a photo shoot today. I think it's me, Sean, Mahogany, Aaron, Jacob, maybe Shawn.
It's weird because the photo shoot is in a recording studio. I hugged the photographer. "Ok change into the clothes here and then I'll take you and Jacob." He said. I nodded and changed Into the black jean shorts, floral crop top, and white converse.
Jacob just wore what he had. "Ok follow me." he said. Jacob and I followed him to an empty studio. "Can you two sing?" he asked. We nodded. "Ok sing before we actually go to the studio." he said. I gave him a weird look. "Go! Hurry!" he said. I went in and sang Day Dreamin' by Ariana Grande.
Someone barged in the door. "There he is." A man said pointing at our photographer. Two securities guys took him away. "Who are you two?" the man asked. "Um, why did they take that man away?" Jacob asked. "He's not a real photographer." he said. I nodded. "Now, get out of the studio before I get security on you too." He said.
We walked out of the room. "Security!" He yelled. "We're leaving!" Jacob yelled. "Not fast enough." He said back. We started running. "Guys get your stuff and run." I said to Sean, Shawn, Mahogany, and Aaron. They saw the guards and ran.
We went upstairs and split up. I'm with Aaron and Sean. We went into a random studio. We hid behind the furniture. The guards checked our room and didn't find us. We sighed and left the room. We were looking in rooms to find the others. "Hey!" we heard. "Damn it!" Sean said. We went into a random room. I turned around.
"Matt? Jack, Jack, Carter, Dylan? what are you doing here?" I asked. "Ditto." Johnson said. "Hahaha." I said. "Jack and Jack are recording here." Carter explained. I smiled and nodded. "We were running from this stupid guard and he didn't see us in this room. Like how could you not see us, were literally standing behind the plants." I paused.
Matt and Aaron gave me a look. I turned around. "Oh hey." I said to the guard. "I'm stupid?" he asked. "Oh what? No, not you the other one." I said hitting his arm. He picked me up and pulling me closer. "Oh wow! You're breath smells great what toothpaste do you use?" I asked.
"It's called you better follow me or you and you're friends will be sitting in jail." he said. "What did we do?" I asked. "Its not you, it's him." he pointed to Aaron. I looked at Aaron. "What! Aaron! what the hell!" I said. "I didn't do anything." he said. Two guards came and got Aaron and Sean. "Can't you talk about this?" Sean asked.
The guard shook his head. "Sean, you're not helping." I said. They were carrying us out. "Wow! what great friends you are for helping!" I yelled to Jack, Jack, Matt, Dylan, and Carter. I saw Mahogany, Shawn, and Jacob. I motioned for them to do something. They didn't understand so I bit the guards hand. He screamed and dropped me and Sean. "Guys go to the car!" I yelled. "We have to get Aaron." I told Sean. He nodded.
He jumped on the guards and tried to make him drop Aaron. He put him down and we went running. I got a call.
"Grace, Bart's not here."
"What! Where'd he go?"
"I don't know."
I groaned.
"Ok hang on."
I hung up. "Go, down with Jacob and Mahogany, I'll be there soon." I told Sean and Aaron. They left. "Grace." I heard. I turned around and saw Shawn. "What are you doing?" I asked. "Helping." he smiled. I nodded. "Ok so we need to change into different clothes." He said. I nodded again. "Here." he said handing me grey sweat pants, plain black crop top, and sunglasses. "Keep watch." I told Shawn. He nodded. I snuck into The jacks studio again.
"Psh, Carter." I whispered. He looked at me. "Grace?" he asked. I nodded. "I need the keys to your car." I said. "Their over there." he pointed to the table. I nodded and went to get them. Shawn started making a weird noise. I looked at him. "what the hell does that mean?" I asked. "He's coming." he said. "Oh shit." I said. "Thanks, Carter i'll see you later." I said. I went to leave and saw the guard blocking the door.
There was a gap between his legs. I smirked. "Go Shawn!" I yelled and through him the keys. He ran and I slid between the mans legs and ran to the car. I got in and started it.
We all went back to the hotel.
I parked the car and took Carter's keys out. "What the hell was that?" Sean asked. I shrugged. We got out of the car and went to our rooms. I sat there and my phone beeped.
Mahogany: Look at Jerome's snapchat story!!
I looked and saw Nash, him, and Cam doing the kiss and slap game. I was pretty pissed Bash didn't ask me first. I love Mahogany, she always knows what's up.
@GraceJensen: 😠ok....
@MahoganyLOX: Sorry @GraceJensen 😬
@GraceJensen: No, thank you for telling me actually...❤️ @MahoganyLOX
I called Nash but he didn't pick up.
I groaned and Mahogany walked into the room. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "Get dressed and you'll see." she smiled. I put on white shorts, a cute tank top with coffee on it, and my white converse.
I followed her to the center of San Diego. She pulled out her phone. "Grace and Jacob are gonna do the kiss and slap game." she said. She was snap chatting. "Oh god." I said.
I went up to a random to a random cute boy. We did rock papers scissors. I won so I slapped him. Jacob did the same except he got slapped. I did it again and won. Jacob won and kissed a girl. I won. Jacob lost. I lost and kissed the boy. Jacob won. I won. Jacob lost. I won again. Jacob won. "Ok last one." Mahogany said.
I was up against Jacob. I exhaled. I lost and kissed him. She put it in her story on SnapChat.
@GraceJensen: Check out @MahoganyLOX SnapChat story @JacobWhitesides and I do the kiss or slap game😏
After that we went shopping and ate at a cafe. Nash was calling me but I ignored it.
@Nashgrier: Please...@GraceJensen
I ignored and tried to have fun with my best friends. "So how are you and Nash?" Mahogany asked. I shrugged and took a bite of my sandwich. "What do you mean?" Jacob asked. "I mean, honestly I don't know." I said. "Long Distance isn't my thing but I'll see him soon I guess." I said. Mahogany nodded.
"You have to stay strong." Jacob said. I looked at him. "What?" I asked. "I know you're struggling, I can tell." he said. "Oh yeah how?" I asked. "You're eyes sparkle most of the time, right now their not. I can tell a real smile from a fake one, and you sigh a lot." he said. I sighed. "What's wrong?" Mahogany asked. "Nothing." I lied.
"Grace come on." she said. "Just leave me alone." I got up and left. I walked back to the hotel.
@MahoganyLOX: 😔
@JacobWhitesides: Guys, @GraceJensen is not okay....
I locked my phone and changed into sweats and climbed into bed. It's 5:00PM and I'm tired. I fell asleep.
NEXT MORNING
I woke up to my phone ringing.
"Hello?" I rubbed my eyes under my glasses.
"Were going to breakfast hurry!" Bart hung up.
I groaned. I brushed my teeth and hair and just went to the lobby. "Well, don't you look good." Aaron teased me. "Haha." I said. He out his arm around my shoulder. "I'm kidding." he said. I nodded. We went to iHop.
I sat next to Shawn and Aaron. Bart, Mahogany, and Jacob were on the other side of the booth. I put my hood up. "Are you okay?" Bart asked. I looked at him and nodded. Jacob sighed. I pulled out my phone and went on Twitter for a while.
@loljensen: I hope Grace is okay! I love her so much, she means the world...she doesn't deserve hate or what ever she's going through❤️
@GraceJensen: 😘❤️ @loljensen
After eating we went back and we all made a Update Video for the MAGCON website and YouTube channel. Bart talked about the tour and upcoming things.
"Grace wanna say anything?" he asked. "Um, we're all happy you can be here supporting was with all the things happening and the family supporting, you guys are strong, strong then most of us." I paused. I felt Shawn put his arm around my shoulder. "We hope to you a lot of you at this upcoming MAGCON because it's gonna be crazy fun and exciting and might as well be a family as long as we can." I finished. He nodded.
"Thanks for watching." he finished and ended the video.
"Ok get ready, we go in one 1 hour." Bart said. I sighed. I went to my room and randomly through on clothes, not caring if they matched or not.
MAGCON
The usual meet and greet, and then performances. I decided to sing about what I feel right now. So, I sang All of The Stars by Ed Sheeran. I looked at the fans faces as I sang. They were all watching me with sad looks, some were even crying. I held back my tears.
"And I know these scars will bleed, but both of our hearts believe, all of these stars will guide us home." I sang.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked and saw Shawn smiling at me. He started singing with me.
We finished and a tear fell from my eyes. That's when everyone left because MAGCON was over. I watched everyone leave. It hit me.
We're broken
Just like me
"Grace, I'm sorry." Aaron said. I shook my head and wiped my tears. "You didn't do anything." I said. I got off the stage and went to my room.
@JacobWhitesides: I can hear you cry from across the room, and I can see your tears fall to the floor and I realize I can't help you....
@ShawnMendes: I really try to help but if you don't tell me what's wrong I can't....
@MahoganyLOX: Please stay strong for me, you mean everything to me💗😭
@AaronCarpenter_: Where'd that big smile go? I miss it😔
@GraceJensen: I need a break from things, mostly life
@Nashgrier: What? Please answer my calls @GraceJensen
The thing is I don't want to talk to Nash right now.
@JacobWhitesides: Grace just needs a break that's all, she has a lot on her mind. She loves you guys so much and you mean the world to her. She not leaving forever.
I was laying on my bed and was thinking about the old times.
When we were a family and everyone was happy.
When I still had Lola.
When my real family was a family.
When I had a normal life.
Don't get me wrong, I love what I have, the people I know, and my fans...but sometimes I want to beatings and the horrible words back you know?
@GraceJensen: We've been on a big journey together...
I got a text
Matthew: If you need me, I'm here...
I smiled.
I decided to go straight to bed.
NEXT MORNING
I'm leaving for Vidcon today.
I hugged everyone and Shawn and I hugged extra long because you know. "I'm gonna miss you Cali." he said. "I'm gonna you more, Canada." I winked. I out my stuff in my car. I got in the drivers seat and started the car.
I rolled my window down. They all looked at me sad. "I'm gonna be fine." I said. Jacob nodded. "Oh and Canada." I paused. He looked at me. "You make it big out there." I said. He nodded and smiled.
I mean I'm not leaving forever, literally just a couple days. I'm going back home.
HOME
I pull into the driveway. I smile and got my bags out of the car. I unlocked the door and walked into my house. I dropped my bags and plumped down in the couch. "So quiet without the boys." I exhaled. I closed my eyes and breathed in the scent.
@GraceJensen: Home alone😏
@SPObabbby: Coming over! @GraceJensen
@GraceJensen: Yes! Pajama Party at my house!❤️ @SPObabbby
I was looking through my DMs responding to them and someone said Madison just indirected me.
I went to check it out.
@MadisonElleBeer: I love how your sad and then happy in 5 minutes, fake!
I RTed it.
@GraceJensen: It's not fake...I'm just really good at hiding my emotions from others, I mean I've been doing all my life.
@MadisonElleBeer: Your boyfriends pretty hot too, can I have him?
@GraceJensen: @MadisonElleBeer yes! You can have @Nashgrier I'm pissed at him already to be honest...i just need a break.
Carter texted me.
Carter🌞: Woah! What's that tweet about? Nash is freaking out!
Me: I need a break....
Carter🌞: From your relationship?
Me: OMG! is that the only thing at matters to him RN? Does he even care?
Carter🌞: Of course he cares Grace....
Me: Then why hasn't he called me?
Carter🌞: you won't answer.
I ignored it.
@AnselElgort: @GraceJensen FaceTime me, babe!💗
I FTed Ansel.
"Hey!"
"Hi."
"Are you okay?"
I shrugged.
"Tell me."
2 hours later
We talked for 2 hours.
@GraceJensen: @AnselElgort makes everything better💕
@AnselElgort: It's my job! Can't wait for our date😏 @GraceJensen
I smiled.
@Nashgrier: I miss @GraceJensen
@GraceJensen: I miss @Nashgrier
@JaiBrooks1: What about me? @GraceJensen
@GraceJensen: I don't miss you, hoe😘@JaiBrooks1
@JaiBrooks1: Ditto. 😍 @GraceJensen
@GraceJensen: BTW! @luke_brooks is my fav twin💗
@luke_brooks: 😍❤️😘 @GraceJensen
LATER THAT NIGHT
Sean and I watched a movie and he fell asleep.
@GraceJensen: I said fuck it! I don't need you in doing just fine.
@luke_brooks: What are you doing up? @GraceJensen
@GraceJensen: Can't sleep @luke_brooks
@luke_brooks: Want me to sing you to sleep?
@GraceJensen: Sorry, Shawn does that already @luke_brooks
I smiled and locked my phone. I decided to just take a sleeping pill. After taking it, I fell asleep in about 25 minutes.
NEXT MORNING
I woke up to Sean gone.
I laughed.
I looked at my phone.
3 missed calls from Carter
2 texts from Carter
4 texts from Mahogany
9 texts from Cameron
Damn what happened?
I called Carter back.
"Grace?"
"Yes."
"There's something wrong with Nash."
"What? What do you mean?"
"He's not waking up."
"Why?"
"He hasn't eaten in a while."
"Why? Carter."
"He's worried about you."
"Well, he shouldn't be. I'm fine."
"He thinks you're gonna find someone else."
I froze.
"When are you guys coming back?"
"3 days."
"I'm not gonna fall in love in 3 days."
"He's waking up, I have to go Love you."
"Love you too."
He hung up.
I sighed. I leave for VidCon tomorrow.
I should do a cover.
I went to my room and set my phone up on my piano. I'm singing Let Me Love You (Somo cover). I sang it and put it on Vine.
@GraceJensen: Check out my new Vine cover! Like and Revine for a follow because I'm bored😉
I followed a bunch of people until I hit follow limit.
@GraceJensen: I hit the limit but thank you so much😘
@GraceJensen: Babes, I haven't seen you in a while...I miss you❤️ @ArianaGrande @FrankieJGrande
I got a text from Frankie
Frankie: Party. 3 days. you better come.
Me: Can I bring people?
Frankie: Bigger the better!
Me: see ya there😉
@Michael5SOS: @Luke5SOS misses you @GraceJensen
@GraceJensen: 😏💕FaceTime me @Luke5SOS @Michael5SOS
Michaela called.
"Yo!" I said.
"Hi, Grace." Calum said.
"Hi, Cal."
"Hey, Luke I'm talking to Grace." Michaela yelled.
Luke popped out of no where.
"Hi Grace how are you?" He smiled.
"I'm good, how are you Luke?"
"Good thank you."
"When are you coming to visit?" Ash asked.
"Next time I come to UK is for Digi so soon."
"Great, I'm excited." Luke smiled.
"Of course you are." Michael said.
They laughed.
"I have to go, I love you guys."
"Love you too." they said before I hung up.
@GraceJensen: I know way too many famous people😂
@MahoganyLOX: @GraceJensen don't rub it in...
I laughed.
I packed my bag for VidCon.
2 days later
I just got back from VidCon, the boys are supposed to be back today.
@GraceJensen: Party tonight!✌️😏🎉
I cleaned the house for a while, then watched tv.
Cam🙊: Were coming back from the airport.
Me: AKSNSIFYFHRJDIFIOEOEQ
I went out to get the mail and saw a puppy. "Awe oh my god." I said. He barked. I picked him up. "You're so cute!" I said. He licked me. He doesn't have a collar. I looked around for someone but saw no one. I shrugged and brought him inside. "Well the boys won't be happy to see you but I don't care." I said.
I put him out in the backyard. I heard car doors slam. I smiled and Nash came running in. I jumped into to his arms. "Babe, I missed you." he spun me around. It started pouring outside. "Oh wait." I said opening the door for the dog. "Are you kidding?" Nash asked. I shook my head. "A dog." Cameron said and pet it. After petting the dog he hugged me. "Hey I missed you." he rubbed my back.
I jumped into Carter's arms. "Hey Rice Boy." I whispered in my ear. "Hey Rice Girl." he whispered back. He put me down and smiled. "Does he have a name?" Cam asked. "No not yet." I said. "We have a party to go tonight." I added. "Yes!" Carter cheered. "Where?" Nash asked. "The Grande's and you can bring anyone." I smirked. "You know the Grande's?" Carter asked. "Yep." I smiled. "Were gonna meet her?" Nash asked.
I nodded. "We have to bring Matt." Carter said. I scratched my head. "Um, sure." I said. "When's the party?" Cameron said less excited then everyone else. "7." I said. "Ok it's 3 now that's 4 hours to pick the perfect outfit, fix my hair, and call Matt." Carter ran upstairs. Nash went to the bathroom.
"Ok, why aren't you excited?" I asked Cameron. He shrugged. I gave him a look. "I don't see the big deal about her." he said.
"She's an amazing singer, She has a great body, she's beautiful-"
"So? You're an amazing singer, you have a great body, and I think you're way more beautiful then her."
"Cameron stop."
"I'm not kidding."
I turned my back towards him.
He turned me back around and cupped my cheeks.
"I think you are the most beautiful girl in the world, next to my sister and mom."
I smiled.
"It hurts me when you don't see what I see."
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine, just learn to love yourself."
I nodded.
He kissed my forehead and smiled.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
He hugged me and went upstairs. "What was that about?" Nash asked standing in the doorway. I jumped. "Oh my god, babe you scared me." I sighed. He raised an eyebrow at me. "What was that about?" he repeated. "Nothing." I said. "Well, I don't like leaving and then coming back to my best friend kissing my girlfriend and saying I love you." he said.
"First, it was a kiss on the cheek and second, he's my best friend too, we can say I love you if we want." I said. "Well can you not do it in my face." He raised his voice. "I've been depressed and sad all whole time you were gone and now you're yelling at me for something that didn't mean anything. You get so jealous over the simplest things and it pisses me off." I shouted back.
Nash gave me a sad look. "I'm sorry." he sighed. I just ignored him and went upstairs to get ready. When I was down it was 6. I went downstairs and saw the boys all ready. Cameron smiled at me. "Come on, beautiful." he said holding the door for me. Nash coughed. I looked at him and he honestly looked sad.
AT THE PARTY
We pulled up to the Grande's house. Music was blasting, people were drinking, people were swimming and splashing. "Woah!" I said. "I can't believe were gonna meet her." Matt said. I looked at him. I sighed and got out. "Grace!" I heard someone scream right when I got out of the car. I looked around and saw Frankie running towards me. "Frankie!" I squealed at jumped into his arms.
He put me down and looked at Cameron. "Oh, who's that?" he asked pointing to him. "That's Cameron." I said. "I like him." he smirked. "Good, he's single." I said. "Is he gay?" he asked. "Sadly no." I said. "Homophobic?" he asked. "No." I said. "Good, Hi Cameron." he said walking to Cameron. I laughed.
I saw Mama Grande and hugged her. "Hi sweetie." she said. "Hi." I said. The boys and I headed into the house. Break Free by Ariana was blasting. "HEY!" I said opening my arms. Ariana looked at me. "Grace!" Alexa screamed. Everyone looked at me. "GRACE!" they all screamed. "What's up?" I screamed back. Ariana ran up to me and hugged me. "Missed you." she said. "Missed you more." I said.
After the party
We dropped Matt back at the Janoskians and went home. Carter went straight to bed and Cameron went to take a shower. Nash collapsed on the couch and sighed. I put my things on the table and lied on top of him. "Nash." I said. "Hm?" He looked at me. "I love you." I said. "I love you too." he stroked my hair.
"You're so cute." he said. I gave him an open mouth smile. "I'm tired." He yawned. "Same." I yawned back. I got up and headed for the stairs. "Where are you going?" he asked. "To my bed." I said. He got up and followed me. I started running and laughing.
I got in my room and was about to shut the door when Nash comes in and shits the door behind him. He grabbed my waist and threw me on the bed and tickled me. I started laughing so hard. He was laughing too. "Ok stop. stop." I laughed. He stopped tickling me and plopped onto the bed next to me.
I got under the covers and Nash was getting ready. He took his shirt off and climbed under the covers too. I turned the tv on and we watched SpongeBob.
"Grace."
"What?" I looked at him.
He was recording me.
"Ew, Nash stop." I covered my face.
"Oh come on baby." He gave me a puppy dog face.
I uncovered my face and kissed him. He smiled. We cuddled and fell asleep.
I woke up before Nash and went downstairs to see Cameron making breakfast. I got a FT call from Luke.
We talked for a while until it was time for the FOOD. Nash and Carter came down the stairs and got their food. Nash kissed my cheek and sat across from me.
@GraceJensen: Everytime I talk to @Luke5SOS I always make him talk in an American because it's hot as hell😂❤️
@Luke5SOS: @GraceJensen Never knew that😏😂
@GraceJensen: Talk American to me🇺🇸
I started eating my pancake when I saw Nash favorite my tweets to Luke. I looked up at him and he was already looking at me. I coughed. "I'm done." I said putting my dish in the sink.
Cameron and Nash gave our dog away yesterday. It's kinda sad, I loved him.
I went to my room and just laid on my bed. I smiled. This is actually a good day. I got dressed and went back down stairs. I sat at the kitchen table when someone knocked on the door and Cam answered it. "Um, Grace." Cameron said. He motioned me over.
I walked over and Sydney hugged me crying. Nash and Carter looked at me weird. "Be right back." I fake smiled and we went outside. "Sydney what's wrong?" I said. "Your dad." she sniffled. "What about him." I smiled. "He's here, in LA." she said. My smile faded. "Oh." I said. "I'm sorry, I tried to keep him away." she said. "What! You saw him." I said. She nodded.
I groaned. "I'm sorry." she said. "Stop apologizing." I sighed. She nodded. "ok go home and if I see him I'll text you or something." I told her before going inside. I shut the door behind me and put my head against it. "You okay?" Carter asked. I looked over at him, Nash, and Cam sitting on the couch looking at me. I nodded.
"Hayes, the Jacks, and Matt are coming to visit." Nash said. "That's great." I fake smiled. "Grace, are you sure your okay?" Cam asked. "Positive." I said. I sat next to Nash. He put his arm around me and kissed my cheek. I smiled.
Later that day
The boys were playing ping pong so I invited Mahogany over and we sat on the balcony and looked at the view.
"So how is it?"
"How's what?"
"Living with boys."
I groaned and she laughed.
"Tiring, like their always loud and annoying sometimes I just wanna-"
"Not to scare you or anything but a black van car just pulled up into front of your house."
"What!" I said looking at the car.
I saw a man get out and knew who it was immediately. "Shit." I said running into the house. "Is the door locked?" I asked running to the door. "No why?" Cam asked. I went to lock the door but someone knocked on it.
I exhaled and slowly looked through the peep hole.
It was my dad.