A/N -
This story will talk about some sad stuff so if you are easily depressed by sad stuff then this is not the story for you, anyway just your typical angst. Also, this is a modern AU... I wrote this story for
Dasharoo
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Rollan's PoV -
Dear Diary,
My world ended on a Tuesday, with one call, my world came shattering down around me but maybe I'm getting too far ahead of myself.
Firstly, I'm sorry for not writing in here more, I've been busy and I never really write unless something big happens. Jesus, the last thing I wrote about was when I first started dating Devin, nearly a year and a half ago. Anyway, I'll ketch you up on all you've missed. Devin is so perfect for me, he's handsome, funny, and he loves me, something I need more than anything else in the world.
So yeah, we make a good couple. In public we just kinda link our fingers together instead of full on hand holding because some people are still touchy with the whole guys loving other guys thing but trust me when we're alone I can hardly get Devin off of me. So last night I had a bad dream, I can scarcely remember it now but I think it was about Tarik's death again, I never have gotten over that, anyway, I called Devin hoping he could comfort me. I woke him up, I knew he didn't care about what time I called, he could obviously tell how shaken I was though as usual I tried to joke it off. Devin of course could see right through my illusions and told me he would meet me here in ten minutes.
I quickly uncovered myself and hopped out of bed. I padded over to my closet and quickly changed into better pajamas, I didn't like wearing my old stained pajamas around Devin. I slipped some slippers on and unlocked the door. I decided to step outside a minute and get a breath of fresh air, I stood for a few minutes starting up at the crescent moon and enjoying the crisp early morning Autumn air. Everything was peaceful, my dream had almost been forgotten and I would get to see the love of my life in a few minutes, I felt blissful as I thought of cuddling with my boyfriend. Thats when my phone rang. I reached into my pajama pocket and pulled out my cell phone, I had left it on incase Devin called when he got here. This wasn't Devin's number though but it was from my area code so I answered with a polite hello. The voice on the other line was sympathetic, "I think you need to get to the hospital now, your boyfriend was in a car wreck..."
I dropped my phone in pure shock, the glass broke as it hit the concrete patio. I ran inside and grabbed my keys, still only in slippers I ran to my driveway, unlocked my car and as quickly as I could, I drove to the hospital. My eyes were cloudy from tears, as I switched onto the highway I saw two police cars, one fire truck and two ambulances, with their lights ablaze, amongst all that was the debris of Devin's car, everything looked horrible and I forced myself to look.
After that I drove with a heavy heart, afraid of what I would find when I got to the hospital. I pulled into the parking lot and rushed to the main desk of the hospital, " I got a call a few minutes ago, my boyfriend, Devin Trunswick, was hurt in a car accident!"
The lady quickly glanced at a list, "err, yes, room number 14."
With that I hurried on down the hallway. Finally I found room 14, I creaked the door open, inside Devin laid on a cot with so many machines hooked up to him, extra blood being drained into his body, nurses and doctors talked seriously using big words. I stepped into the room and quietly walked over to Devin's bedside, I held his hand, rubbing my thumb into it gently. "I'm so sorry, if I din't call you things would have been different," I sobed into his blankets.
A nurse walked over to me and laid a comforting hand on my back, "I'm sorry, the paramedics said he was still conscious when they found him, he was mumbling your name, saying he loved you, he wanted you to know that," the nurse took her hand away and looked at me concerned.
"I called him tonight and told him about a nightmare I had, he wanted to come over and comfort me... if I hadn't called he would still be okay right now," I confided in the nurse.
"It's not your fault, he wouldn't want you to blame yourself," the nurse patted my shoulder, "I'll leave you two alone."
With that she left the room, leaving only Devin and I. From the looks of things it seemed Devin didn't have much of a chance of pulling through this and if he did, what would his quality of life be? I leaned over him and kissed him the best I could. I still held his hand, Devin gently intertwined our fingers and only a moment later his heart monitor let out a single sad note, signaling that my boyfriend was gone. The nurses rushed back into the room, after a series of failed compressions they left the room. I sobbed into Devin's chest, I kissed him one last time, then I drove home, slowly.
I drug myself inside the house and went to my room to write this. So I'm sorry Diary but you won't be hearing from me again, I'm sitting here, on my bed with a bottle of pills next to me. This will be the last sentence I ever write, I loved you Devin!