CHAPTER SUMMARY: Rey goes on a search for her kyber crystal.
Darkness.
That's all there is. That's all there seems to be. At least, it would seem that way to most people.
But not to Rey.
It's true her eyes see nothing but blackness.
Yet she knows to step around the jagged boulder just ahead. She knows there's a large opening in the ground not far and that if she fell, it would be a long way down. She knows this tunnel will soon curve sharply to the left.
And she knows she's not far, not far at all.
Her heart quickens.
Only half an hour earlier, she'd been cursing herself for coming here. So stupid. She shouldn't even be on this wasteland of a planet, nothing but grey skies and rocky, barren terrain. She should be back at the training base with the others.
And why had she come?
To chase a rumor from an extremely unreliable source, a conversation between two traders at a bar. She doesn't even know why she eavesdropped in the first place, but when she did, she heard something that's been eating at her for days.
There's kyberite on this planet, buried deep in its labyrinth of caves.
Kyber. The strongest substance in the galaxy, force-attuned crystals used to power lightsabers.
It easily could've been a dead end. Thirty minutes ago, she thought it was. Traders love to share secrets that aren't true, and kyber might just be the rarest substance there is. The likelihood the man was lying or misinformed was astronomical.
Yet she came anyway. She can't explain why.
She didn't give much explanation to her friends either. She didn't even say goodbye, just left a recording with BB-8 saying she had something urgent to attend to and would return in a couple days.
It's as though she was drawn here by something beyond reason, just a feeling, an itch in the back of her mind. She couldn't ignore it any longer. She needed to know, one way or the other.
And now she knows.
The deeper she gets, the more she senses it— there's something here, something calling to her through the Force.
Could it be? Could it be her crystal beckoning her to claim it?
She hates to admit it but... Ben got to her. It's been months, but she's found herself thinking about it more and more. What was it he'd told her?
"Find your crystal. Forge your destiny. Don't fall back on someone else's."
At first, she was annoyed. She has a crystal— Skywalker's. And it's because of him that crystal is now useless, tucked away on the Falcon, still lodged in a broken lightsaber.
But then she started thinking about it...
And maybe he was right. Skywalker's crystal did call to her, but is it really her crystal? She didn't find it. Not in its natural state, anyway. And she's no Skywalker.
Maybe there's something else out there, something better, something just for her...
Rey turns with the tunnel, beginning to slow, walking more carefully as the ground beneath her slopes down. It's growing uneven, jagged crevices, some large, cutting through the earth. She touches the cave wall as she goes, a small comfort to steady her.
She starts to notice it...
She can see, just barely, the shape of the tunnel fading in.
The further she gets, the more she sees— the jagged curve of the cave walls, dagger-like rocks shooting down from the ceiling, the path in front of her like stairs, large crevices followed by abrupt drops. She hops down one, then another, and as she does, her heart beats faster.
She descends quickly, towards an opening just below, where the light's coming from. She's getting closer... almost there...
She hops down the last drop and bursts through the opening but instantly slows. She takes a few dazed steps then halts, gaping.
Rey stands, eyes wide yet soft. She swells with something she hardly knows how to describe. She's never felt such a thing before. Maybe this is what people call... reverence.
She's in a cavern as large as a hangar, at least thirty meters tall, a smooth floor of grayish, cracked earth stretching out over empty space.
The cavern glowing. Glowing. Clusters of crystals of all shapes and sizes line the walls and ceiling, radiating bluish-white light. They give off a strange sort of vibrancy as though they were pulsing. They make the cave seem alive somehow.
The air is thick with the tension of the Force, competing energies pulling to and fro. The crystals heighten the sense of it so that what's normally a steady reminder is now surging, flowing lifeblood, filling her with a larger sense of being. She feels less like herself and more connected to everything around her.
Some clusters are small, blue patches of light arranged like flowers. Others are the size of speederbikes, large, round cylinders with pointed ends that glow so brightly Rey can't look at them straight on.
She turns in place, looking up and around. She's overwhelmed by the scene, yet she can't stop taking it in.
This must be the most beautiful thing in galaxy. She can't imagine a rival. Surely, of all the things she's seen since leaving Jakku, nothing could be more beautiful than this.
She doesn't know how long she stands there, gaping, before it occurs to her why she came.
She needs to find her crystal.
It must be here. Why else would she have felt that magnetic pull to this very spot the deeper she got into the earth?
And yet, now that she's here, she's wondering if she was just feeling the heightened Force energy of the crystals. Maybe...?
Rey looks down, pressing her lips together. She's not sure what to do, how to proceed. She thinks back to Ben, what he told her about the crystals... What was it he'd said?
Jedi younglings would go to Ilum. They'd search for... days?
No, that can't be right. How large were the caves in Ilum?
They'd search until the right crystal called...
"The call is a bond."
That's what he said.
Ok. So... she's bonded to it already...
Or when she hears the call? How does she hear it? Does she wander around listening for it? Or should she meditate first, letting it reach out to her, then follow it?
Rey takes a breath, then huffs it out. She looks up and around as if turning to the crystals for guidance.
Then she walks forward, stopping when she's close to the center of the cavern. She takes a seat and settles into a meditative posture, legs crossed, back straight, shoulders resting lightly. She starts focusing on her breath, bringing her body to a state of calm.
But it seems to be impossible. The atmosphere is thick with the tension of the Force as well as something else, something she can't put her finger on...
She tries to concentrate on her breathing, the steadiness of it.
But ripples seem to run through her, tiny disturbances fraying her concentration. They waft by, whispering as they pass. It's almost as if they're...
No. No. That's ridiculous.
Rey straightens, reengaging her focus.
But the ripples, the whispers tug at her attention.
What is that? It can't be...?
The crystals. Are they... talking to each other?
No. That's crazy.
She sucks in a breath, more sharply than she means to. She lets it out slowly.
Calm. She needs to be calm...
She takes another inhale, purposeful this time.
That's right. Back into the rhythm. Inhale and exhale.
Rey sits perfectly still, face titled up, appearing to be at peace.
But inwardly she's squirming, constantly interrupted by these ripples swimming through her, seeming to speak without a voice. She fights to focus, to ignore the whispers passing through her like thoughts, but she can't. It's like trying to concentrate in a crowded marketplace.
How can she possibly hear her crystal through all this noise?
She pushes out an exhale, eyes flying open. She sets her jaw, looking up at the crystals.
Are they the source of this? What else could it be?
She looks down, brow furrowed, trying to figure out what to do. She feels unsettled, on edge...
Until she feels a warmth at her core.
Uh oh.
She instantly straightens, eyes snapping shut. She concentrates on inhales and exhales as though she could stop the bond if only she becomes calm enough.
But it's no use. His presence creeps closer, the warmth stretching to her chest and into her limbs.
She slouches, defeated. She's already dreading his reaction...
She bows her head, waiting for the inevitable.
Her heart skips a beat when she feels him behind her. She doesn't open her eyes or even move.
But she knows what he's doing. She can picture it in her mind...
He's taking in the surroundings, looking up and around the cavern. She hears him step in front of her.
Finally, Rey opens her eyes. She stares at the ground for a few seconds, then looks up.
His back is to her, but not for long. He turns, his lips turned up smugly.
"You're looking for your crystal, aren't you?"
She stares at him, wordless.
But he reads her anyway.
"Good." He nods, sounding pleased with himself. "You should be."
That. That right there.
That's what she was dreading, that imperious "of course you're doing what I told you to do because why wouldn't you?" tone in his voice.
She sucks in a breath, annoyed.
She hates that he knows he got to her. But there's nothing she can do about it now. She sighs, sulking in silence as he examines the cave.
"Well, you're not going to find it sitting there." He turns to her, extending a gloved hand. "Come on."
She just stares at him, jaw set.
Part of her doesn't want to give him the satisfaction. But another part can't deny the truth... He's the only one she knows who can help her.
She sighs heavily.
Then, she takes his hand.
He helps her up and slips a hand behind her back, leading her to a side of the cavern. She squints, averting her eyes as they get closer, some of the crystals so bright that their glow is painful. They stop just in front of the wall, and Ben kneels before a round, medium-sized cluster about the size of BB8's head.
"Come here," he commands softly, eyes fixed on the crystals.
She crouches next to him.
He glances at her, nodding to the cluster. "Touch one."
She turns to them, extending a hand tentatively. As she does, she notices the striations on the surface of the crystals, each one with a unique pattern. Her fingers are only inches away from the one in the center.
Suddenly, she snaps back.
"Did you see that!?" She turns to Ben. "They just moved, or changed. Didn't they?"
"They do that," he says flatly. "They can change their structure at will. It's a defense mechanism. Don't let it scare you." He nods for her to try again.
She lifts a hand, reaching for the center crystal. As her hand nears, she sees it again, a kind of subtle change in the surface of crystals, creating a soft flicker in their glow.
Finally, the tips of her fingers graze the end of a cylinder-shaped crystal with harsh angles. It grows warm as her fingers slide across it. She gasps softly, transfixed. She could swear it was pulsing as though it were alive.
"It's getting warm."
"It's reacting to you." He leans to her. "It's reacting to your energy."
"Does that mean it's mine?"
"No." He shakes his head. "They all do that."
"Oh." Her shoulders drop.
She moves her hand from the center crystal, touching the others around it. Each one warms as her fingers graze them. She touches all of them before withdrawing, staring at them with knitted eyebrows. She turns to Ben, a question in her eyes.
He answers it before she can ask.
"Rey, you just have to explore, search." He shrugs. "You'll know your crystal when you find it."
"But how?"
"Listen." His dark eyes get close. "Listen for the call."
"The bond?" She raises an eyebrow.
He nods.
"It'll sound like..." He purses his lips, searching for the right word. He looks to the crystals, staring for a moment before slipping off a glove and reaching to touch one.
"It sounds like a kind of song." He grazes the center crystal. "But no one song is alike. It's different for everyone." He withdraws, eyes distant.
Rey watches him, sensing his emotions. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he's nostalgic... But there's an edge to it, like he's reminiscing about a tainted memory, half pleasant, half painful. Her mind drifts to what he told her about his own crystal...
How he bled it to become Kylo Ren, the crystal cracking in the process. How he couldn't admit it, denied it outright but... This was ultimately an act of violence. To himself.
She feels a twist in her heart
"Ben..." She starts softly. "How did you find your crystal?"
He instantly jerks back, snapping from his trance. He glances at her, then rises.
"We don't have time for stories," he tells her dismissively. "We need to find your crystal, and that could take a while.,
She narrows her eyes, intrigued by this reaction. She considers pressing him about it but decides against it.
For now.
She rises to her feet.
"Do I have to touch my crystal to hear its call?" She looks to him.
"No." He shakes his head, looking at the wall and not her. "You'll hear it when..." He hesitates. "You'll hear it when it's ready for you to."
"What!?"
"This isn't a science, Rey," he admonishes. "And you need to be prepared for the possibility that your crystal isn't here."
She widens her eyes. She lets out a short huff, looking down.
She can't help but be disappointed. She knows it's foolish, but she'd let herself become enchanted by the idea that her crystal was calling to her, that it's the reason she decided to eavesdrop on those traders, to come here against all reason, drawn by the call of something created especially for her.
"Hey." Ben rests a hand on her shoulder.
She looks up and is met with gentle eyes.
"It still could be here." His tone is softer now. "And you have me to help you look, so you'll find out twice as quickly."
She nods, determination renewing.
He nods back, then straightens, looking around the cavern.
"You start at this wall." He points in front of him. "I'll go to the opposite end. Just explore, touch, and listen." His gaze drifts upwards. "Climb if you need to." He gives a short nod, then strides away.
"Wait!" She steps after him. "I don't understand. I thought I was the only one who could hear my crystal?"
"Think about it, Rey," he calls without turning around.
She grunts, annoyed. She turns to the cave wall, crossing her arms
Think about it, she mimics in her mind. Think about what?
Then, it hits her.
The bond, their bond. She recalls how she called his lightsaber in the throne room. She shares the bond with his crystal, so he must share the bond with hers. He'll be able to hear its call.
She furrows her brow, disquieted by the realization.
But there's no time to dwell on it. She needs to focus on listening.
She shakes off the feeling and steps to the cave wall, extending a hand to a new cluster of crystals, this one very small. As her fingers touch each one lightly, they seem to shimmer, the striations on their surfaces changing. She regards them with wonder, caught up in the spectacle, then realizes she's not listening.
Rey straightens, closing her eyes, relying on her second sight, the one that won't be distracted by the beauty of the cave. She melts into the Force, continuing to touch the crystals as she focuses on their energy, bringing her mind into a calm, open state. She steps to another cluster.
She doesn't make it to a third before she notices it again. The ripples, those constant distractions passing through her mind, tugging at her concentration. She grits her teeth, tensing her body as though hardening against them.
But it makes no difference. They pass through her freely, ephemeral, as though the physical world were nothing but a shadow.
She relaxes her muscles, focusing on her breath. She'll just have to endure this, try to listen through the noise. Maybe this is part of it? Part of the challenge.
She continues her progress, making her way through clusters of various sizes, keeping her eyes closed. She touches the crystals, sensing subtle changes in how each one feels, searching for the call, the song meant just for her.
But those damn ripples, entering her, whispering to her...
How can there be whispers without voices?
It doesn't make any sense, yet that's what it feels like.
These whispers, this noise, it's starting to drive her absolutely insane. Her mind is exhausted by the constant battle to concentrate.
"Rey, you need to be patient," Ben calls from across the cavern.
Her eyes fly open.
"I am!" She turns to him
"No, you're not," he yells back. "I can feel your frustration. You need to calm down. You won't hear the call if you're worked up like this."
"I can't hear anything through this damn noise anyways!" Her shout reverberates through the cavern.
She immediately jerks back, startled by her own voice.
Then, she squeezes her eyes shut, covering them with a palm, fighting tears pushing to the surface...
Ben approaches swiftly, stopping beside her.
"What's wrong?" He lifts a hand to her back.
Rey doesn't answer immediately, trying to collect herself. Finally, she straightens, sliding her palm to her forehead.
"How am I supposed to hear my crystal through all of this noise, the whispering, it's constant." She widens her eyes. "I can't—"
"Wait, what!?" He grabs her shoulder, turning her to face him. "What do you hear?"
She looks up, confused by his reaction.
"Do you not hear it too?"
He observes her closely, eyes sharp.
"No." He shakes his head. "I don't think I do. Not like you." He stares intently, almost in awe.
She starts to feel self-conscious.
"What are you hearing exactly?" He leans in.
She feels his fascination, a frenzied kind of excitement. She shrugs, looking around, unsure how to describe the experience.
"It's like thoughts..." she starts slowly. "Thoughts in another language. Without a voice. The just pass through, in and out, beyond my control." She lifts both hands, making a pulling motion on either side of her head.
"Does it sound like it's coming from one individual or many?
"Uh..." She glances up. "Many, I think?"
He nods, stepping back. He looks around the cavern, eyes wide with wonder.
"You can hear the crystals," he says without looking at her. "That's... rare. Very rare."
"Wait a minute..." Rey tilts her head. "The crystals are alive? Sentient?"
"Many have theorized that, yes." He continues eyeing the crystals. "Some have theorized they have a collective consciousness, but no one knows for sure. It's in the nature of kyber to elude study."
"Hm." Rey presses her lips together, not sure what to make of this.
Suddenly, Ben looks at her, a sly smile on his lips.
"Of course, no one's been able to communicate with them before." He raises a suggestive eyebrow.
"I can't communicate with them." Rey flattens a hand to her chest. "I don't have a clue what they're saying."
"I bet you could learn." His eyes are bright with possibility. "If you stayed here long enough, listened long enough."
She grunts, stepping back.
"If I did that, I think I'd go crazy."
He narrows his eyes as if to challenge this but doesn't say anything.
Rey crosses her arms, feeling self-conscious again.
"So..." She slides her jaw to the side. "What does this mean for finding my crystal? How do I hear its call when I can hear all of them?"
"I have no idea." He shakes his head.
She drops her shoulders, defeated by this answer. If he doesn't know, then who would?
"Perfect." She sighs. "That's just... perfect."
Disappointment hangs heavy, dragging her to the ground. She turns her back to the cave wall and lowers, settling on the cracked earth and crossing her legs. She stares into space, eyes dark and troubled.
Ben crouches, taking a seat next to her. She can sense him thinking, intense and focused, trying to work out a solution to her problem.
Several minutes pass, and he says nothing. He must not be coming up with much.
She tilts her head back, not sure what to do and too brain-weary to figure it out. Where would she even start...?
Suddenly, a thought occurs to her.
She looks to Ben, then quickly looks away.
Maybe she can't find her crystal, but that doesn't mean this has to be a complete waste. After all, the bond must have happened here for a reason. Maybe this is an opportunity for another small moment, a reminder...
"Ben..." She glances at him, and his dark eyes catch hers. "There's something you can do that I think would really help."
"What?" He shifts to her, eager to hear the request.
She sits up a little, scooting towards him.
"You could tell me how you found your crystal."
He flinches, looking away.
"Ben, come on." She leans in. "Please." She looks up entreatingly but he's staring across the cavern with a hardened jaw. "You've actually done this before," she goads. "It will help me so much to hear someone else's experience."
He still doesn't look at her.
"Ben." She scoots closer, her knees grazing him. He's sitting with one leg propped up, and the other flat on the ground. He's staring at the cave ceiling and not her.
She puts a hand on his thigh.
He finally looks at her and is met by pleading eyes.
"Come on. I'm completely lost here. Maybe if you tell me how you found your crystal it will give me a clue about how to find mine."
He pushes out an exhale.
"Rey." He twitches. "I don't think hearing about that will help you. You're in a unique situation. My experience doesn't apply here." He shakes his head decisively.
She studies him, searching for a chink in his armor.
But his black eyes are cold, hardened against entry.
Rey slumps, withdrawing her hand.
She's not giving up that easily. There must be a way to wear him down or coax him into it. She chews the inside of her lip, mulling over various strategies.
She thinks for a minute before scooting away and uncrossing her legs, lying back on the cracked earth. She curls her knees up, resting both palms on her stomach.
"Well, can you at least tell me where you found yours so I know where else I can look." She sighs, gazing at the ceiling.
"Mine was at Christophsis." This, at least, he offers freely. "But yours isn't there."
She purses her lips, thinking about what to ask him next.
But suddenly, her thoughts grind to a halt. She cocks her head, confused. Suddenly, she sits up, crossing her legs and looking at Ben.
"How do you know my crystal isn't there?" She demands.
Ben instantly looks away, his heart jumping as though caught in the act. He feels embarrassed.
She studies him, baffled, not understanding this reaction. Then suddenly, the realization hits.
She stares at him, softening. A smile teases the corner of her lips.
"You've been looking for my crystal, haven't you?"
He doesn't speak or even look at her, but she knows the answer. She senses his embarrassment deepen and blend with something else, something like... tenderness?
Rey leans back, placing both palms on the ground behind her, eying him closely.
"So, where have you looked?"
"Christophsis," he answers curtly, his gaze cast down. "And a couple of planets in the Unknown Regions."
"Which ones?"
"None you would know of."
Rey rolls her eyes, annoyed by the vagueness of his answers.
But annoyance is quickly replaced by other emotions, suspicion, uncertainty, confusion.
Why would he take the time to look for her crystal? What does he have to gain?
She brings an index finger to her lip, thinking.
What motive could be behind this...?
It's difficult to say considering how little she knows about kyber. It could be any number of things, and yet she can't seem to quell the feeling...
He's not looking because of anything he has to gain for himself.
He's just looking for her.
Rey drops her hand.
She glances up and is met by black eyes gazing back softly. He has that look, the one that makes her feel... exposed.
Now she's the one who looks away, a flutter in her stomach.
She takes a breath.
"Well..." She blows out a puff of air. "I guess it's a good thing you've been looking because I'm starting to think I can't find it myself. Not with the whispers of a thousand crystals in my head every time I try to concentrate."
"Rey." There's a tenderness in his voice
She looks up to find his face only a few inches from hers.
"What you can do." His eyes flicker with awe. "It's not a curse. It's a gift. It means you're special."
Something about the way he says this makes her heart skip a beat. Suddenly, she seems to forget everything— coming here, searching for her crystal, hearing the whisper, goading him to share how he found his crystal. Everything just melts away until there are only those dark eyes gazing into hers.
His emotions change, awe becoming something else, something she doesn't know how to describe. The feeling is strong, so strong it could be her own. It's a kind of heart-heaviness, like being weighed down. It's painful but also exquisite, a beautiful pain. It only feels unwelcome because of how overwhelming it is, a yearning that cuts straight through the heart.
She's so lost in his gaze, she doesn't notice him lift his hand to her face.
She catches her breath, surprised when she feels his thumb at her cheek, stroking back a strand of hair.
His eyes soften.
"Somewhere in the galaxy..." His voice is almost a whisper. "There's a crystal just for you, and we're going to find it." He drops his hand.
Rey just stares at him..
He tilts his head slightly.
Then, she could swear he starts to lean in, to close the gap between her face and his.
But he disappears just as she sees the movement. Maybe it didn't happen at all, just a trick of the eye.
She jerks back, jarred, trying to work out what she saw or what she thought she saw.
She stares blankly for a few moments, so numbed she's not quite aware of her body or surroundings. She lost in her head, still lost in his gaze, his gentle touch. She looks down, a thought creeping around the edges of her mind.
But it doesn't get far before she pushes it away.
She shakes her head briskly, pulling herself out of her stupor and back to the cave. She looks up at the crystals, considering what to do next.
After a minute, she rises, walking to the center of the cavern and taking a seat on the cracked earth. She crosses her legs, straightening and closing her eyes.
This time, she doesn't try to meditate or listen for the call of her crystal. She simply lets herself be still with no agenda, no purpose other than just to be.
It doesn't take long for the ripples to invade her, whispers passing freely in and out of her mind.
She doesn't fight them. She doesn't try to ignore them. She simply... observes them, lets herself be their conduit.
She finds that when she isn't trying to concentrate on something else, the whispers aren't so maddening. Now it's like being in the lounge on base after dinner, a hundred conversations swirling around her. She still has no idea what they're saying, but...
Maybe Ben's right. Maybe she can learn. And if she does, maybe they can tell her where her crystal is.
She takes a deep breath, enjoying the peace of a true calm. She tilts her face to the ceiling, surrendering to the Force, the hum of the crystals whispering.
Her crystal isn't here. Somehow, she just knows it.
But she's starting to think that's not what drew her here. No, perhaps the real reason she needed to come was to discover this thing about herself, her ability to hear the crystals, an ability that is apparently very rare.
At this, the moment replays in her mind, what he said, the look in his eyes when he said it.
"It's not a curse. It's a gift."
She bows her head.
"It means you're special."