How exactly am I supposed to say this?
To explain to you when I can't even explain it to myself?
I'm not one to over think things.
To completely lose myself in my emotions.
Especially since I can't admit my feelings and emotions.
It was hard to admit that I can't admit.
I hate this, I hate that I can't understand how I feel.
I hate that you can openly express how you feel about me but I... I can't.
Where did my confidence go? You took it, you stole it from me.
It goes deeper than that.
Sometimes, no. Every time you say these things, those wonderful 'heartfelt' words that you whisper in my ear ever so softly.
I don't believe it.
How could you take an interest in me?
You? Have you seen yourself? Have you seen me? Why me?
I don't like talking about myself.
Everything's good. Everything's great.
That's all you will ever get from me.
Don't push me.
And you understand that.
That's perfect.
How are you so perfect?
Yes I get upset, I don't really get upset though.
I'm testing the waters.
Seeing if you will flinch if it gets too hot.
Or will you let me burn you.
Don't let me burn you.
Am I convinced?
Where are your weak points?
What makes you tick?
Why can't I figure you out?
Why can't I figure this out.
I can't even admit that I like you.
Oh God.
I may even...
I don't believe it, this is some cruel joke.
A cruel, twisted, sick joke.
Waiting for me to get vulnerable so you can strike, show me your true colours.
It can't be as good as it seems.
It just can't.
You're like a light that just switched on in one of my dark empty hallways.
And this sounds so corny, so cheesy, but what if that's what it really is like?
You're all I think about.
How is that possible?
I can't get over you and to think that you're just across a screen waiting. Just waiting for me.
You'll probably never see this,
I don't know why I've written this.
I don't write my feelings.
I don't say my emotions.
Nobody would like to see my raw emotion.
That's too much to handle.
I'm like a storm rearing up to unleash terror and torrent of power on everything in my path.
You make that stronger.
AMH