Summer was in full swing, even here in London. I've been at home in my small flat for about a week now and I had only corresponded with Remus, who was trying to find another job. Apart from that, I spend my time reading the Daily Prophet – always in fear that it would include news from Sirius. That didn't happen, though, luckily.
It was a warm morning and I was sitting at my kitchen table, drinking some coffee and having a small breakfast. Suddenly, an owl was landing right next to me in my open window. I saw that it held a letter and took it, expecting an answer from Remus. But it wasn't Remus's handwriting and my heart began to hammer in my chest.
Dear Alia,
It feels wrong to contact you like this when I' dying to see your face and hear your voice in person. As it is, I have no choice but to inform you via this letter, that I will be at Rowan's the coming weekend. I hope you can find the time and willingness to see me there.
I want to tell you so many things. Please come.
P.
P? I was sure it meant Padfoot. It had to. Sirius needed to make sure that, if anyone read the letter, they couldn't know or proof it was from him. My heart was in ecstasy and I couldn't believe he had finally contacted me and that he wanted to meet me. I didn't even care about the risks or anything else, I just wanted to see him because I knew it would make everything well again... it would make me well again.
So, I started to count down the days until it was Friday at last.
* * *
"He's such a sweet little boy!" I exclaimed when I saw Lily with her newborn. She was holding little Harry in her arms, looking at him with a love that I could only try to comprehend and with a pride that only a mother could have.
James and Lily had invited me and Sirius over and I would lie if I told you that I wasn't excited to see the baby. I didn't know I loved babies as much before I saw little Harry. But maybe it was because he was the child of two of my best friends. And cute as heck.
"He's such an angel," said Lily. "Do you want to hold him?"
Of course, I did, so she carefully handed me her son. Harry slept like the baby that he was, and I just admired him for a few minutes before I lifted my gaze. James and Lily were smiling, and Sirius was... just staring at me with a look that I had never seen before. He seemed happy but what I really hoped his eyes tried to tell me in that moment, was that he imagined what it would be like if I held our baby. I grinned at him and he proudly grinned back.
"So, we actually wanted to ask you two something," explained Lily.
We all sat down, provided with tea and cookies, while little Harry soundly slept in his cradle. It was a nice late summer afternoon and for a while, we forgot the troubles of the war.
"Soo," said James. "We hoped that you would agree to be Harry's godparents."
Unnecessary to say that Sirius was agreeing before I had even understood the question. Not that I would have said No, on the contrary – I was just as happy and excited. Lily and I spent the rest of the time talking about baby things while James and Sirius were consumed by their own conversation that I gladly avoided. Whenever they were alone together, you would think they would transform back into their fifteen-year-old selves
When Sirius and I got back home that evening, we were both happy and tired. I couldn't stop swooning over Harry and Sirius was chuckling at my antics. He already had a lot of plans about what to teach Harry and what presents to buy him. It was nice to have a distraction from the usual worries and we went to bed with a rare smile that day.
When I rested in Sirius's arms, I couldn't help but talk about Harry again. "I think he looks a lot like James."
"He does," agreed Sirius. "But he has Lily's eyes."
I hummed in agreement.
"We should have a baby, too," said Sirius.
At that I snorted. "You haven't even asked me to marry you yet, Black."
Sirius froze a little at that. "I know..."
I ran my hand over his bare chest. "Don't worry, we don't have to hurry. We have a lot on our plate at the moment."
"We do..." he whispered. "I just... I'm sorry..."
"About what?"
"Uh, nothing..."
I lifted my head in order to look in his eyes, noticing a hint of sadness. "Hey..."
"I want to make you happy, Ally. That's all I want."
"And you do – with or without proposal, with or without a baby. We're so young, Sirius, and of course the war is scary, we don't know what the next day will bring or if it is safe to start a family just now... But as long as my life has you in it, I don't even care..."
Sirius smiled and put his hand on my cheek, pulling me in for a kiss. "I love you, Alia. One day we're going to have our own family."
Nodding, I kissed him again. "Until then, we can always practice..."
He chuckled and pulled me closer, the sadness soon forgotten.
* * *
Packing for my meeting with Sirius was a strange business. I didn't need much, of course, but I wanted to look good for him nonetheless. Plus, I intuitively knew that I needed to bring him some things. Clothes especially because I knew he could use them. And maybe some other items as well.
I searched my wardrobe and drawers and found a lot of things that I had kept after this one cursed night, some clothes of his and some things I had never had the chance to give him. I remember that I had already bought his Birthday present weeks ago, a new leather jacket from a fancy muggle brand that had patches on it that I had made myself. One of them read our initials A+S, some were references to our favorite muggle rock songs and one was a dog's paw. He never got it, it had been hanging in my wardrobe here in London ever since I had moved into this flat.
One day before his birthday, Sirius had confronted Peter and hence got arrested. I remember being in a trance and only realizing later what had really happened to me.
No matter, I could give the present to him now, I figured. He might need a jacket anyway and I still got some of his old shirts and such, even though they weren't very modern now. I packed them in a bag.
Then I started trying on clothes for myself but wasn't very satisfied. The last time I had bought new clothes was a decade ago and I was afraid Sirius wouldn't recognize me or would be disappointed of what I've become. I knew I didn't look very different, but still... maybe the picture in his memory was ahead of my real self.
Eventually, I thought he wouldn't care anyway because he never was that superficial when it came to me. And he had spent twelve years without seeing a woman, so I figured I would be a pleasant enough view.
When I had everything I needed, I apparated just outside of London, to a place where I could safely take the rest of the distance to Rowan's with a broom or walking – just to be sure. The funny thing was, that we had spent a weekend there in the summer Sirius had got his motorbike. I remembered it, the small guesthouse near the beach, with the small and cozy rooms. It was a safe location, because even though Sirius was wanted, even in the muggle news, Rowan was a blind and nearly deaf old man. He wouldn't notice Sirius was technically a criminal flying on a Hippogriff.
When I eventually, after quite a long journey, saw the building in front of me, I couldn't help but shiver. I would see him again. Finally.