First period class flew by I had Science with Kyle so it was pretty easy for me. It's always Math class that goes on forever I wish Kyle was in math with me instead of science, science was a no brainer.
Math was practically mental abuse, not learning.
I walked into class "Kenny please?" "No, I'm sorry" Kenny was leaning back into his chair talking to a pretty girl wearing black tights and a matching crop top shirt. "Ugh" I walked to the back of the class room catching a glimpse of the chick before shifting my gaze to Kenny.
"What's going on?" I question. The girl snaps her attention towards me and sneers. "Oh never mind" the girl hissed walking away then out the class room door.
I give Kenny a strange look "what did you do?" I ask sitting down in the desk paired next to him. "Nothing I swear" "really?" I ask with little faith.
"All these chicks are going crazy Y/n" Kenny explained sitting up "that's what happens when you become their sex toy Kenny" I say in a sour tone. "I haven't done anything with anyone, for a month!" He spoke throwing his hands out in front of him. "I know I'm surprised" I say opening my math binder.
Kenny suddenly placed his hand over top of my mine on the desk. It was really warm I could feel my finger tips tingling from his warmth. I look up at him and study his sharp facial features "your fingers are blue" "ya....I'm a little cold" I say tensed up.
I glanced away and towards Kenny's hand where I notice bruising around each ball of his knuckles. When Kenny notices where I was staring he pulls away.
I look at him with an upset expression "what the hell is going on?" "What do you mean?" He asks intentionally clueless.
"You know exactly what I mean" I whisper, Kenny frowns under his orange sweater hood and doesn't respond. It was starting to piss me off that he wouldn't tell me but suddenly I'm reminded of this morning and now I kinda feel hypocritical since I also lied to him earlier.
That's one thing I liked about him and I we always cared more about the other then ourselves. We were always there for each other, the five of us, I shared most of my problems between Kenny and Kyle though. Kenny is my partner in crime and Kyle was like my smart big brother. They all kinda are.
However I don't really tell Stan much because.... I have a crush on him. I'm so stupid for feeling that way about him but I don't know what it is but I've always liked him I can't explain it. It wasn't just his looks it was personality too. But ever since he got a girlfriend I'm forced to forget about my crush for him. It sorta reminded me of those sad love songs you'd always hear on the radio.
'If you love them let them go.'
I was depressed for a while and hung out with Kyle a lot Im a hundred percent he knew I liked Stan but didn't bother saying anything which was another reason I went to Kyle cause he just knew.
Kenny too he wouldn't press things if I didn't want to. It's weird he isn't like that with other girls he always is pressing sex from them or... whatever he wants! Geez! What an idiot! I lay my head down on the desk and use my arms as a pillow.
"You alright?" Kenny asks "ya I'm just tired" I say muffled by my arms.
The truth is I'm not just tired I'm exhausted. Everyday it's hard to get up out of bed with the crap my mom does everyday and night. Sometimes I wish I could pick up the rope and hang myself. I'm just tired of it all. I don't want to kill myself, but sometimes I feel like that's the only way everything will be better for my mom, and for my friends. Only if things were a little easy on me for a while... even just a day.
I could feel a headache pounding at the back of my head, it felt like I was losing control. A ever growing sensation that just continued to tug at the back of my head pulling strings tight like a corset. Class had already started but I didn't feel like participating I made myself depressed again. The thinking just kept going even though I was trying not to think anymore I was really close to crying at this point but I squeezed my eyes shut to stop any flow from happening. I told myself over and over again 'Don't cry don't cry. You don't want to make a fool of yourself. Don't let things get to you.'
If I could describe it. It felt like a war going on in my head and it was life draining.
Kenny P.O.V
Y/n didn't move from her position all class the teacher didn't seem to mind but I believe there was something bothering Y/n.
She did this every now and then but today it seemed worse then usual I wanted to comfort her but she'd only brush me off with 'I'm okay'. I like Y/n and we tell each other mostly everything so when I see her at this low point it takes effect on me.
When you see Y/n, she's this happy cool girl that mostly everyone wants to be, she can be inspirational. Especially to my sister Karen. Karen's abuse at home is getting worse and I'm trying my best to protect her but sometimes even I can't take the pain.
At least with my secret of dying and coming back I can relief myself for awhile. I used to avoid dying, it was always by accident but now I'll do it on purpose ease the ache. I knew how sick that sounded and not for a split second did I think I needed help. When I found out about this shitty ability I used sex to get out of it. To make a temporary happiness.
The worse thing is that nobody remembers I die and come back, not even Y/n. "Yes Y/n?" "May I go to the bathroom?" "Yes you may." I shake my thoughts from my head; I watch as Y/n gets up from her seat and walks out the classroom door with her stuff.
A couple minutes later the bell rings and the whole class room jumps to their feet and rushes out the door. It's lunch time so I guess everyone is rushing off to get in line at the school cafeteria. I usually head straight for the girl and they pay for my meal, an advantage for giving them favours, but today my focus was else wear.
I grab my binder and walk out the class room door and head towards my locker. "Hey Kenny~" "hey" I said in a dull tone as a blonde approaches wearing a short plaid skirt and low cut shirt revealing her breasts.
If I don't make an intreset maybe she'll go away.
I reach my locker and begin unlocking it. "So are you up for this weekend?" I look over at the girl she was pretty good looking but her face was flooded with make up. Not that it turned me off...
"You know I think I'll pass, nothing personal" I smile placing my books in my backpack she crossed her arms in a sour manner.
"So it's true you aren't doing it anymore? With any girl? I bet it was because of that bitch you hang out with" I shoot her a threatening glare.
"This choice was on my own accord I can make decisions for myself. Don't go bad mouthing the people I hang out with" I spoke warningly.
She scoffs "whatever. Did my pregnancy scare the shit out of you or what?" I honestly forgotten who this girl was there's a bunch of girls I made pregnant... I realize how easily I thought that and began to feel a pit in my stomach. What is wrong with me? Kenny a month ago could say that no problem and now I feel so disgusted.
"Fine, keep ignoring me skank" the girl stormed off, I don't blame her for being mad I did toy with her after all. The girls have every right to call me names, I deserved it.
"Hey Kenny why are you just standing there" "hm?" I turn my head and notice Stan and Kyle had just walked up to me "ya dude what's up?" I smile "nothing everything is good."
Kyle and Stan look at each then back at me "okay well, wanna come for lunch?" Stan asks "sure" I say slamming my locker empty handed. "Where's Y/n?" Kyle questions, I shrug my shoulders in response "she left class early, near the end of the period" "oh? Is she okay?" Stan asks me.
I honestly hated the look in Stan's eyes when he asked about Y/n, he always had this tone that made him sound like he loved her and for some reason it was pissing me off more then usual. "I don't know" I say my sour tone slipping out. Thankfully Stan got the hint and shut up.
We walked into the cafeteria and found our normal table Kyle got up soon after to grab lunch for the three of us. I was surprised Cartman wasn't here either it was kinda quiet and awkward.
"Kenny are you alright man? You look pissed off. Did something happen between you and Y/n-?" "would you shut your mouth?" I hiss avoiding eye contact.
"Woah Kenny calm down" Stan says frailing his arm in front of him. "No I'm sick and tired of this shit. Stop leading Y/n to like you when you already have a girlfriend" I was practically yelling but since the cafeteria was already so loud no one notices anything different.
Stan gave me a disgusted glare; I honestly wanted to sock him in the face "can you talk any louder? I'm not luring her" "like hell- ever since Kyle told you about it, you knew to back off for a little while. But instead you've been more intimate like this morning. She's trying to get over you don't give her a false sense of hope... or are you planning to cheat on Wendy?" I retaliate.
"Shut your mouth!" Stan booms "are you sure you're not jealous that Y/n touches me more?" I clutch my fingers into a fists under the table. I get up from my chair "tell Kyle I said thanks for lunch but just give it to Cartman" then I stormed off.
Are you sure your not jealous that Y/n touches me more? Fucker, why did he have to word it that way. He's making it sound like they had sex before.
On my way to the lockers I ran into Cartman and Y/n walking in my direction they stop at the sight of me "oh shit Kennies pissed" Cartman slurs.
"Shut up fatass" I respond, Cartman mocks my words silently as I stop in front of Y/n.
"I'm skipping are you coming Y/n?" I ask ignoring Cartman "what? That's quite sudden but sure. Cartman promise me notes from English" Y/n requests "fine fine bitch. Have fun with your boyfriend" he grumbles walking off "asshole" Y/n whispers.