On the roof, you are standing all alone
Just as if you were caught in a daze,
I know, “I know, all the love we had before,
guess I won't ever find it anymore,”
They were both childhood friends, they being two fifteen-year-olds Neku Sakuraba and Yoshiya Kiryu, whose nickname was Joshua.
Always close to each other, always together since young. Even then, Neku could not help but be sorry for Joshua for having such a depressing friend.
Neku had been bullied in school, no one believed in him anyway, the teachers and counsellors, no one. Maybe except Joshua, who knew he would come up to the rooftop.
[Broken hearts with spoken words]
[Let's just end everything already]
["I can't live up to anyone's expectations"]
Neku had been bullied in school, no one believed in him anyway, the teachers and counsellors, no one. Maybe except Joshua, who knew he would come up to the rooftop.
[Hoping for this kind of grey everyday]
(Words won't come out, they stay and get in the way)
[Singing to death (Words won't come out, they stay and get in the way)]
[Are lies what we were both wishing for?]
[Aah, I'll choke out a transparent elegy]
As usual, Neku was standing at the edge of the rooftop on top of their school.
"Come back," Joshua said with his comforting voice. Neku turned his head around, making sure it was only him, and then he walked towards Joshua.
Listening to the words I swallow down.
The world stops spinning ‘round
Catching a breath, I stroll through town
Both Joshua and Neku had lost their parents, and yet Neku, the one who looked more timid, was the one getting treated like this.
"Look, aren't the stars beautiful tonight?"
Below the twinkling stars that fill the sky
Inside this lonely night
It's hard to stifle all my cries.
Neku always kept an advice that Joshua told him, if he was once again upset.
Just think back the memories they once had together.
Forgetting everything that happened yesterday,
I still can't remember what
Tomorrow?
Was??
Supposed???
To????
Be?????
Neku suddenly stood up and screamed out.
"Ah, fuck! It hurts, it hurts me you know!"
Even though you heard every single word that I said.
The more Neku tried to remember the past, the more hurt he became.
Now you know, I hate, I hate you, oh!
But my words disappear and then I'm watching you go.
"Neku, you know there's someone out there that still love you?" Joshua tried to comfort him once again.
Neku held both of his arms tightly to reply.
"Love? A bluff? Enough is enough!
Everything that you're saying now's
no different from the words you said before!"
He then slowly walked towards the rooftop's
door, unwilling to look back to the scenery again and returned to the cafe, where Mr Hanekoma, their caretaker, took care of both of them.
"I don't think I can take it anymore,
so I'll send this goodbye off to you."
×××
From then on, Neku was not on the rooftop anymore. But Joshua was, waiting each and every day while looking out.
On the roof, stretching far off in the night
Silhouette disappearing from sight, that's right.
He sat down as he watched the cars past by his school building and mumbled.
“That's right - all the words I said before,
Guess you won't ever hear them anymore,”
There was a reason for Neku's disappearance on the rooftop. When he went home that night, he received a love letter from a classmate in his class, namely Shiki Misaki.
[I can't get it from you anymore]
[Who did you borrow those words from?]
[Even that crying voice act]
[Is some backward compatibility of someone somewhere]
[Aaaah!]
It was the first time someone besides Joshua and Hanekoma made him felt he was loved.
Joshua decided to head back to the cafe after staying for quite some time.
It's gonna decay
[Those patchwork thoughts, it's gonna decay]
For decades, all the same, replicants remain insane
Reminiscent of my past compensatin' what I had done
I wish that wasn't fake
By the time he returned, it was already late at night, Neku was then asleep.
(Aaaah!)
[It's all the same even if you skip this sick verse]
[A noble mission drenched in hypocrisy]
[Everything dissolves and is transmitted]
[And the raw sound is released to this arrival point]
Joshua then noticed the letter that Neku had by accident left on the table, he read it and was shocked.
He turned his head to Neku's face, he was smiling in his sleep. That never happened before.
Words won't come out, they stay and get in the way!
Even though I was, I was there, I just couldn't get through.
Joshua quietly kept the letter, wanting to get the truth out of Neku.
Because in truth, for as long as he could remember, he loved Neku, romantically.
I'll ignore
you more
and more, cause you know-
Even now, I can't even think of letting go of you!
However, his memories rewound back to that day when Neku stopped coming to the rooftop.
"Fuck! It hurts! Enough is enough!"
Joshua cursed in his own room as tears flowed down from his eyes.
The next day, he did what he promised, to get the truth out of Neku.
Ringing inside my ears,
every single word you said that day and-
"What is it, Josh?"
"Explain this,"
Joshua held up the love letter that Neku immediately recognised.
"Joshua, I-"
"Neku please, you have me and Mr H. You don't have to do this,"
Gah, I don't think I can take it anymore!
Joshua then noticed the scars on Neku were becoming more obvious.
Even hearing your voice-
In that frustration, Neku never got to explain.
"Go away!"
By accident, Neku wanted to lightly push Joshua away from him.
However, he failed to realise that Joshua was on the edge of the rooftop.
Every single word I wish you'd said's filling me to the brim again.
Tears rolled down Neku's face as the funeral began.
It was an accident.
He didn't dared to tell anyone.
Draining it away, it's “bye bye bye”
Isn't this what I've always wanted?
Neku shut himself in his room all day, probably all week. Only at certain times he grabbed the food Hanekoma prepared for him, but that's all he did.
Sitting in a pile from long ago,
all the pieces that broke...
One day, Neku got up and decided to head to Joshua's room, it was left as it is, nothing had changed.
Is it mine?
Is it yours?
I don't know.
It's all…
ahh…
There, on his table, he found a letter, a heartwarming letter written by Joshua a day or two before his death.
It's all inside, the darkest part of my heart
Locked away there is everything I wanted to say,
"I love you, Neku."
“What a shame, it's all, it's all too late!”
if I only known that sooner.
Neku was once again standing on the edge of the rooftop.
Just, FUCK! It hurts, it hurts me you know!
All of me, all of you, all the things in here just should...
He stared at the bright evening sky as he mumbled.
“Fade away from this reality for good...!”
Just as Neku was about to jump full of regrets, it was as if Joshua was actually near him.
Words won't come out! They stay and get in the way!!
Even though you could hear my voice resounding that day!
All the hate, the hate, even today!
It's too close to your ears and so it fades away!
Neku could felt his warm presence, he cried and shouted.
"Stop! It hurts! Enough is enough!
Everything that I know now's no different from the stuff I knew before,"
"You sure you want to do this?" He heard Joshua's voice from then.
His regrets were slowly fading away as he acknowledged Joshua forgave him for what he had done.
"I really cannot take it anymore,"
Neku replied.
"I'll join you today onwards,"
So I'll say this goodbye like I should.
Let's just end this transparent elegy
tonight for good.
-
Hello guys. This songfic is made by my friend which I'm not gonna name unless she wants to be. I edited minor parts (like putting commas and periods— ), and mostly it's all hers. She's also the artist of the picture in the media of JoshNeku.
The song was Transparent Elegy performed by GUMI. And to her (the creator), I removed the.. I think is Japanese.. characters. Maybe Chinese— idk.
Hope you liked it as much as I did, listening to it. :)