It's been five days since that night. All this time Shoto had been quietly observing Izuku. While he wanted his assumptions to be wrong and the green haired omega didn't have any recurring nightmares anymore. Except for Shoto, Izuku looked completely uncomfortable around other alphas, even towards their friends. Like he had regressed back to how he had been when they had started at U.A.
Izuku had been literally jumpy and scared of them and from time to time he'd act hostile alphas that approach him without warning, then he'd have a sudden mood swing and he'd tuck himself in his nest all night long.
It was hard seeing him like that and he wouldn't want to take any risk in making his condition even more worse than it already was. Which is why he is coming up with a hard decision and he knew that Izuku wouldn't like this at all.
It was after dinner. Izuku was snuggled in between of Uraraka and Asui with their other classmates chatting away about their heroics class that. Shoto didn't want to disturb them as they seem to be having a great time with their talk but once Izuku had noticed him in the room he had immediately stood up and approached him.
"What's wrong Shoucchan?" Izuku asked only then did he realize that he was in a daze.
"Oh no, it's nothing...." He said reluctantly "But, can we talk for a bit, just the two of us?"
Izuku was a bit tense when Shoto had only said he wanted to talk. Because the alpha seemed so reluctant and unsure, there was a side of him that was panicking but the omega simply nodded and followed Shoto as he leads them back to his room.
Within the privacy of his room. Shoto had Izuku sat in his bed while he sat across him so that they were facing with each other as he began talking.
Izuku could clearly hear what Shoto was talking about regarding his recurring PTSD but his word seemed so distant to him and he was feeling lightheaded. It wasn't helping either that Shoto was going roundabout with the topic, unsure of how to break his decision to him.
"What did you just say?"
Shoto inhaled sharply, honestly not wanting to repeat what he had said because he hated it as much "I think that we should postpone our mating for now"
"Why!?" Izuku choked out "It's only two weeks more before we have to go and we've been planning this for a long time? Why are you saying this now?!"
"Izuku please..." Shoto crooned hoping that it'll calm him down but Izuku pushed him away.
"Is it because of what happened the last time?"
"yes..." Shoto groaned "No... it's that but not because of that."
"Do you not want me anymore because of that?"
"Oh god Izuku, No! I want you. I have always need you, even I am as reluctant to not go on with our bonding"
"Then why!?"
"Because I don't want to hurt you!"
"What do you mean. I'm completely fine and I trust that you won't do anything to me"
"It's not that" the dual toned male bit his lip "It's just... it's just hard.... Do you not realize that your trauma is recurring? It's hard to see you being afraid all over again. I can't bear seeing you being scared and I don't want to risk hurting you on our supposedly special day. Please Izuku."
There was nothing but uncomfortable silence. Izuku wasn't responding to him nor did he even look at him.
"Alright." Izuku finally said swallowing the hard lump in his throat.
"... Izuku" Shoto reached out to caress his check but Izuku flinch away.
"Sorry, I need some time for myself" the green haired omega said trying to contain his tears in despite his eyes burning hot. Before he cried pathetically right there, he turned around and leave.
Shoto didn't stop him, he didn't have the right to stop him. When the door closed he could feel his gut twisting as he hit his head against the wall. Shoto couldn't help but feel angry at himself for not being able to handle this situation far better. He made Izuku cry again and made him think he didn't want him anymore for a petty reason.
That night Shoto kept mailing Izuku asking if he was okay but he never received any replies to his mail. Though he wanted to come and see him, he had respected Izuku's wish to be alone for a while.
He was really regretting this right now.
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
Kirishima was feeling absolutely guilty from that incident few nights ago. No matter how much he had apologized to Midoriya and Todoroki, the feeling of heaviness never left.
That night, while the teachers were pretty understanding about the situation and didn't judge him for it he had received a slap across the face from Ashido -it was something that he deserve. Not only did he keep important things from her and bottled everything he also lied to their friends as well.
Of course. She was very angry at him, but she forgave him and tried to understand as Kirishima finally let it all out of his chest. That he was feeling cornered with everything suddenly happening and the unsettled things between both Bakugou and Midoriya had scare him so much. His feelings and his fears as well.
He felt lighter, but the impending guilt never disappeared even more so when he ran Midoriya across the dorms hallway crying.
While Midoriya was telling him, what happened he couldn't help but feel that it was his fault that he had ruined things between Midoriya and Todoroki, all because he was scared, and the hardest part was he could only offer him words of consolation and wasn't able to do anything about it.
He wished that Midoriya would lash out at him, blame him for all of this but he didn't. After everything he never once blamed him for anything.
In the end. After long hours of crying and finally calming down enough to sort his thoughts Midoriya left with a weak smile saying that he would be alright when he probably already knew that he wouldn't be alright at all and returned to his room.
He kept mulling to himself all night. He had already accepted his feelings for Bakugou and the fact that he was just scared and jealous, even so he and Bakugou still hadn't have a proper conversation regarding that matter. But right now, what was more important was how he could atone for the things he had done.
He keeps rolling and turning in his bed. Once he gave up on getting a decent sleep for that night he decided to get up and get something to drink downstairs in the kitchen. To his surprise Bakugou was sitting there alone in the couch with only dim lights on watching some random late-night show.
"He...hey?" Kirishima said awkwardly as Bakugou's eyes bore at him. It was awkward.
Ever since that night they haven't really talked with each other even though they see each other in class and dorm every day. It was somehow hard to approach each other after that incident.
Bakugou didn't say anything but only gestured for him to come closer. Kirishima sat on the other end of the couch far from the blonde.
"It's been a while, Shitty Hair" he said
"Ye...yeah" Kirishima nodded unable to look at him. "Can't sleep as well?" he asked trying to dissipate the tension between the two of them.
"Yeah" was all Bakugou replied, his mind seemingly elsewhere.
The silence was really awkward and Kirishima couldn't help but feel stiff and uncomfortable. He yelped when Bakugou turned off the television and shifted his position so that he was facing him. The blonde alpha tried to reach out to touch him, he flinched and closed his eyes, expecting that it would be painful, but the blonde simply caresses his mate mark on his nape.
"Is the bond really that heavy for you?" Bakugou asked in a hushed voiced that he wasn't sure if he really asked that.
Kirishima opened his mouth to speak but he didn't know what to say. Seeing his reluctance Bakugou continued to speak.
"I've talk to the Principal today and he told me there might be a possible way to remove our bond. If we wanted to he could arrange it for us."
Kirishima's eyes widened in disbelief. Feeling a sense of loss as Bakugou removed his hand from his nape as he stood up to leave.
"Do you want to have it removed" Kirishima finally said
Bakugou was just looking at him with an unreadable expression. The blonde took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "If I'm being honest I really don't want to."
Bakugou turned his back "I was serious when I said you were the only one. But all of this is too much for you. It's your choice, I won't force you on anything"
He wants to scream that he didn't want their bond to disappear. That he wanted to stay with him. That he wanted to have a two-way bond with him. But can he be happy like this? After he ruined things for someone because of his own selfishness.
"Bakugou!" Kirishima stood up, finally looking at him straight in the eyes. "Can you please wait for my answer until I right all my wrongs. I can't be selfish anymore and keep troubling people anymore until I have settled everything and my feelings I want you to wait for my answer."
"Suit yourself" the blonde huffed before leaving and headed back to his room. Kirishima wasn't the only one that needed to settle things.
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
It had been a week already since Kirishima had been trying to convince the two to continue with their plans. Midoriya didn't want to feel irritated at him – especially after hearing about his accidental bonding with Bakugou, but maybe they both knew he was being a hypocrite at this point because he knew that if not for him things wouldn't have ended up like this.
Their friends were shocked to learn that they were postponing their bonding, again! Though Midoriya knew that they were only worried for the both of them, it was overwhelming at the moment and the omega didn't want to deal with it and just wanted to take his mind off things.
Things between Midoriya and Todoroki have become quite awkward. They were no longer sticking together at any given moment nor do they sleep in the same room at all, though they have conversations here and there it would end up silently awkward and Midoriya would only end up running away every time, because he couldn't bear it anymore.
Though they seem like everything was alright, continuing with school and training like nothing was wrong. He knew that both Midoriya and Todoroki was agitated with the situation and it would be a bad call to approach them forcefully regarding this matter but with the time running out until their winter break Kirishima couldn't take it anymore and he finally approach Todoroki.
So he up and drag the green haired omega towards Todoroki's room and have a real talk. Midoriya's please to stop was turned in deaf ears. After all if Midoriya didn't want this as well he had all the means to be able to stop Kirishima from doing so instead of letting him just drag him there.
Kirishima knocked a couple of time on the door before Todoroki opened it. He looked irriated at the disturbance at first but soon replaced by a mixture of shock and confusion when he saw Midoriya behind him.
"What's going on?" The dual toned aloha asked
"Todoroki, please I want you to reconsider about postponing your amting with Midoriya"
"No"
"Why? Why are you choosing the hard way and postpone your mating? Isn't this something the two of you had always looked forward to?"
Todoroki took a sharp breath as if he was trying to hold himself back "What do you understand Kirishima?"
"I may not understand anything, but I can't bear seeing the two of you like this"
"Of course, you can't. Because your guilt is eating at you, because you knew that if it wasn't for you then things wouldn't end up like this."
"Sho..Shoucchan, stop" Midoriya said to Todoroki, worried that he might say something that would hurt Kirishima but unfortunately the both of them aren't backing down on it.
"I know that! Which is why I'm trying to right all the wrongs that I did"
"Even so you have no right to say anything about it, because if not for you---"
"Shoto! Kirishima! Just stop! Please!" Midoriya shouted at them
"It's alright already Kirishima, really" Midoriya said patting Kirishima on the back before looking at Todoroki with a forced smile on his face that also brought a pained look on the taller male
"I won't push it anymore Shoto, I understand that you're only worried about me. I won't bring it up ever again"
"I'm so sorry Izuku" Todoroki said wanting to touch Midoriya but the omega flinched away from his touch. "We're sorry for disturbing you"
With that Midoriya grabbed Kirishima and walk back to their side of the dorm
Kirishima's heart felt like its going to break how pained the two were
"Is it really alright like this Midoriya?"
"I don't know but we'll be alright."
Is it really that easy?
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
Kirishima had stubbornly been refusing any help in the situation that he was trying to fix. Bakugou, despite their last conversation even offered to lend a hand but Kirishima simply refused. It wasn't like it the situation became like this only because of him. He was a part of it too.
Bakugou doesn't even give a damn at what Todoroki and Deku does at this point but seeing Kirishima trying so desperately to atone for his mistakes and trying his best to move forward, he would be lying if he said he wasn't moved by that.
After all there are things that he also needed to settle. Something that he should have done long ago.
It was after class. Bakugou was waiting for Midoriya to finish with his duties by the lockers, watching as everyone starts heading back to the dorms. Though some classmates had stopped by to talk with him for a bit they soon left him on his own seeing that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Finally, Midoriya emerged from the corner of the hall, ready to go back to the dorms as well but he was stopped on his tracks when their eyes met.
"Come with me for a bit Deku" Bakugou said, his voice surprisingly didn't sound like he was pissed off like he usually is.
Midoriya simply nodded and followed the blonde male in silence as they walk, the blonde giving a gate pass to the guard on duty to let them out. Without any idea where they were going they had boarded the train, and all those times neither of them bothered to say any word, but they don't feel anxious either to break that silence. If anything, it was comforting.
Before the omega knew it, they were in a quite familiar neighborhood, which was literally in the park near their houses where thye used to play when they were kids.
"Kacchan why did you bring me here?" Midoriya finally said.
"Is it true?" Bakugou asked
"What?"
"What that Half bastard said... That your trauma recurred because of that night."
"I... I don't know."
It pisses him off seeing the green haired male so uncertain and fumbling around like a stupid idiot.
He released an exasperated breath and look around the park then; "If I remember this is when I started calling you Deku."
"Eh? Uh yeah" Midoriya nodded
"That name still suits you a lot." He scoffed "You always, always follow me around everywhere when I was a kid, you wanted to do all the things I did. Even though you're a useless, quirkless kid, so the only thing you were going to achieve by following me was hurting yourself. For years, you have no fucking idea how much I want you to knock it off. I called you names, I beat you up. Make you cling to the belief that you're just a quirkless omega that would never amount to anything"
"I hate you so much. Ever since we were young you always ruin things for me, my dreams, my plans. Despite always following me around you reject me for someone you haven't even met, and you stubbornly won't submit to me. It is fucking pisses me off, so much. To be honest I really meant it when I said you were worthless and pathetic and you're was better dead to me than alive."
Bakugou paused, taking a deep breath as he looks back at Midoriya
"But, I hate myself even more for not being able to do anything about that frustration other than taking it out on you and hurting you. I blamed myself for not being there for you that day. I and I used to regret not claiming you when I had the chance"
"Ka...kacchan"
"I had loved you before Izuku." The blonde said with an unfamiliar gentleness in his eyes "From when we were young, I used to want to become your mate and make a bond with you"
Midoriya was surprised at Bakugou's sudden confession. He didn't know that his childhood friend had always felt that way towards him. His mouth opened and closed, uncertain to say the words. Even so he clearly knew that this confession no longer had any weight that shackles the both of them.
"I'm sorry Kacchan. I never meant to remain oblivious of your feelings but I'm sorry that I can't accept them. I've only ever seen you as a friend and a rival. And most of all, I've already decided that it's Shoto who I wanted to be with"
Bakugou too slowly released the breath he was holding in, feeling the relief in his answer. There was a small smile painting in the blonde's face. This turned out to be easier than expected. He thought he would feel hurt from directly hearing his rejection but instead he felt lighter that he had got all of things that he kept hidden for so long.
"Is that Half Bastard really worth that much though? Compared to him I knew you since we were young and more than anyone I can give you the things he didn't even know what you want. If it was me I could make you a lot happier"
Bakugou knew what he was saying now was nothing but taunting Izuku. Because the blonde alpha didn't feel anything for him anymore.
He knew from the moment they found at out they were fated mates that it was Todoroki who can treat him much better, love him more than he could ever do and most of all make him happier.
"Don't you think that it's only because you are true mates that your real feelings are being dictated and those feeling are just in your heads"
Midoriya shook his head with a small giggle escaping from his mouth. It was clear as a day that Bakugou didn't meant any words that he was saying now.
"It's not only because we were fated mates, Kacchan. You should understand that it's not the reason why I love Shoto. After all, it's the same for you two as, well right? it's not your bond with Kirishima that dictates that you should love him. It's because you're honestly head over heels for him right"
Bakugou suddenly turned red with that making Midoriya broke out in laughter. It was really one surprise after the other. Midoriya couldn't help thinking. If only Kirishima could realize it already how much Bakugou love him, maybe Kirishima already does but he was holding back because of them.
Bakugou cursed under his breath before clicking his tongue in annoyance "Fucking hopeless nerd. If you love that Half Bastard so much, then hurry up and get over that damn trauma of yours. Also stop being a sissy and push him down already so that hair for brains would stop getting shitty ideas. Fucking sissies." The blonde alpha muttered in annoyance as he began walking away from him
"Kacchan? That's not the way back to the dorms"
"Shut up shitnerd! I'll go wherever I fucking want"
"Kacchan" Midoriya called out making the blonde look back at him
"Thank you"
"Whatever" Bakugou shrugged it off as he continues walking until he was out of the park. He stopped on his tracks and look turned to the left and there was Kirishima leaning by the park fence, looking as if he wants the bushes along it to swallow him whole.
"Uh..." Kirishima sputtered as their eyes met. His mind turning blank as he couldn't come up of a better excuse what he was doing there and eavesdropping to their conversation. In the end the red head sighed, scratching the back of his neck and unable to look at the blonde in the eyes "You realized that I was following you guys"
Bakugou didn't say anything. Instead he takes Kirishima's arm and started walking. Kirishima was caught off guard with his action that he almost stumbled.
"Let's go back."
"But-"
"Also, that shitnerd already knows what to do so you can stop being a mediator of that stupid couple. You've done all the fucking things you can, it's their fault now if they can't do anything about it"
"... Bakugou..."
"Pick up the pace Shitty hair. I'm getting cold."
Kirishima was surprised at first then he couldn't stop the smile and blush on his face. Bakugou was like a shy tsundere who can't say thing directly.
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
Midoriya had been unable to go to sleep. Missing the familiar warmth next to him, he rolled left and right in his bed, busying himself with hero news and updates that was posted in on the web.
He kept thinking to himself. It made him desperate but maybe he should do what Bakugou had adviced him to do. With him forgetting that he was already lying on the edge of his bed he lied on his back only to fall on the floor.
He really couldn't take this anymore and tomorrow was the start of winter break too and everyone will be heading back to their homes tomorrow. Unfortunately, he couldn't have the time to talk with Todoroki had to go home as soon as the break starts.
Midoriya groaned from the pain. He really had enough of having to sleep on his own. It was cold, and he felt so lonely. He looked up at the evening sky, feeling the chill as he removes the blanket covering him. It would only be a matter of time until the snow falls.
The next morning, Toshinori had offered earlier that they go home together but Midoriya declined. After all he had made an appointment to his physician and now that he was done he didn't know what to feel at the moment as he walk down the road, feeling the chill of the winter season bites on his skin.
He was in daze as he walks down the pavement remembering his appointment with the doctor.
"Midoriya-kun. I understand that you have gone trough something that might possibly trigger your trauma again, but I don't think you're reacting like that because of it." The doctor said looking over his chart that contains all of Izuku's files from all of his previous visits.
"What do you mean?"
"Well to start with. As you have said you weren't having the same symptoms that you were having before when we first started with this therapy. Other than you are acting hostile towards other alpha all of the sudden there weren't really much different from how you usually are."
Midoriya tilted his head not really knowing what the doctor meant.
"To put it simply. The reason why you're having reaction like that have nothing to do with you're trauma but rather the effects of the bond you have with your mate"
"But we haven't bonded yet!"
"Yes, you haven't but what makes this case special is that you two are fated mates. To be frank, there are still much that we don't know about fated mates and if I might add this is the first case that I've seen fated mates not consummating their bond for such a long time since finding each other. Normally fated mates consummate their bond as soon as the omegas pseudo heat is triggered."
"Then. You mean that without the bond my dynamic was already recognizing Shoto as my alpha. Is that even possible?"
"We can't be sure but that's the most logical possibility. You did mention that you're going to have your heat by this month right, maybe its some sort of protective instinct of your dynamic of not to allow other alphas to claim you other than your true mate." The doctor paused "This is really a rare case and I would like to do more research on it, but I suggest that you two should consummate your bond in your oncoming heat. If we treat this case same with bonded fated pair, then stalling it might be bad for your bodies."
It all felt surreal to Izuku. He would be lying if he said he wasn't happy because of the news. It wasn't because of his stupid trauma but it was his dynamic and body recognizing Shoto as his mate.
He felt giddy and he couldn't stop smiling to himself. He needs to get ready as soon as he can but before all that there was something he needed to do first.
Midoriya fished his phone out of his bag and dialed up a number, it rang a few times before someone picked it up.
"Sorry for calling you all of the sudden when you're busy but I need help"
/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/*/
Hohoho~
We're finally getting on the ending. Next chapter will include all the ships in this story for the epilogue. Don't worry the smut will still happen. I know a lot of you are looking forward to it.
Guess who Izuku called