Chapter 4.11
On Ji Han Yu's 12th birthday, his father brought a boy and girl home. He'd pulled their hands and walked to his side, telling him that they were his younger brother and sister, and that he should take care of them.
While Ji Han Yu was still dumbfounded, his mother suddenly overturned his huge birthday cake and cursed his father, resembling an uncultured shrew.
She said things like, Ji Ming Xuan, what kind of thing are you? Look at yourself, you're a fat old man, nearly 50 years old, why is a 20-something year old little girl giving birth to your children? Do you think you're her true love? Without my Cao family's support, you're f#cking nothing! Take these two bastards out of my sight!
His father's face had bloated like a pig liver, Ji Han Yu thought he looked funny, so he laughed.
His father was angered, he pointed at him and ridiculed,
"Bastard, what are you laughing at? Who do you think you are? Your mother called them bastards, but she's also the Cao family's bastard. Without the Ji family's wealth, why would anyone pay attention to you? You guys eat from me, take from me, yet still fight against me, ungrateful bastards."
At that time, he'd scoffed at these words, but they'd left a deep imprint in his heart. That's why, when he heard Lin Cheng Ze say that he was just in love with his family background, he got so angry, then thought up that ridiculous plan.
He told Lin Cheng Ze that the Ji family went bankrupt, that he had nowhere to go. His expression was very depressed, but he was laughing heartily inside.
The Ji family had really gone bankrupt, all those illegitimate children that coveted the family property were probably hiding in their beds, weeping. But for Ji Han Yu, it had no effect.
When his mother had married into the Ji family, his grandfather had given her a lot of cash, enough for them to spend for a lifetime. He'd asked his mother for two million, and with his uncle's help, he'd built a factory, the profits were sizable.
He'd pretended to be penniless and rang Lin ChengZe's door bell, hoping he would shelter him. Lin ChengZe agreed, but he started alienating him, fawning over his friends instead.
Ji Han Yu looked on from the sidelines, sneering in his heart. He thought that Lin Cheng Ze had already fallen into his trap.
He'd planned to live there a few days then leave, but in that short three days, Fang You Ran's selfless care touched him, so he decided to stay.
He deliberately got closer to Fang You Ran, leading him into his arms, while introducing Lin Cheng Ze to his friends, hoping he'd fall into his showy and rotten trap.
Lin Cheng Ze was annoyed with his friends, even Ji Han Yu had noticed, but he'd still always be available for them. At that time, Ji Han Yu thought that Lin Cheng Ze really could endure anything for money. but the later event taught him the true reason behind Lin Cheng Ze's endurance, it was all for him.
Ji Han Yu thought that Fang You Ran had given him the purest love, but he didn't expect Lin Cheng Ze's love to be even more pure, even more desperate. He was like a raging fire, he was willing to burn himself to ashes for his beloved. When he loved you, he would even willingly offer up his soul.
This was the type of love Ji Han Yu had always desired, but he'd inadvertently discarded it.
He slept with Fang You Ran, when he saw Lin ChengZe suddenly appear, ashen faced, he hadn't felt the slightest remorse. Why wasn't he remorseful?
Whenever the scene replayed in his dreams, Ji Han Yu stood in front of himself countless times, over and over interrogating himself, cursing himself, even wanting to slap himself awake.
That night, the bright red banknotes were scattered over the ground, gaudy, ridiculing. Ji Han Yu stood in the empty room for a long time, then he knelt down and picked them up one by one, until the whole floor was clean.
Holding the money was like holding a piece of branding iron, his palms were scalded, painful, but he couldn't drop it.
He had to return it all, return it a hundred-fold, a thousand-fold, then get Lin Cheng Ze back.
It was only at that moment that he recalled all of the little details of being with Lin Cheng Ze, suddenly understanding why he loathed his friends, but still patiently socialized with them.
He'd just hoped that they could lend him a hand when he was in need, everything he did was for his sake.
Ji Han Yu didn't dare imagine all the tears and hardships he had invested behind his back, and even more, he didn't dare imagine his thoughts when he'd realized that he'd left him in a sex party to be abused.
Fang You Ran helped him tidy up the money, then suddenly hugged him, crying bitterly, repeatedly shouting 'I'm sorry'. Those tears that would've made him pamper him in the past, now only made him feel sick.
Compared to Lin Cheng Ze's desperate efforts, what did Fang You Ran give up? Why was he even moved by him? Just because he expressed his feelings more than Lin Cheng Ze?
Lin Cheng Ze was so proud, he always said that the person who fell in love first was the loser. At that time, Ji Han Yu didn't understand why that was his favorite phrase, but now he knew, when he repeated that sentence to him over and over, he was telling him 'I already lost'. But his pride didn't allow him to admit it, so he told others that he just loved his money.
Such an awkward temper, yet so lovely. Ji Han Yu smiled, but then he started to cry. He pushed Fang You Ran away, and roared at him to leave, to forever get out of his and Lin ChengZe's world.
"When I look at you, I feel sick, but I'm even sicker than you are!"
He said with blood-red eyes.
Lin Cheng Ze disappeared, Ji Han Yu couldn't find him anywhere, he resorted to squatting at the Cao family's mansion's door, waiting. In the past, he'd only felt admiration and gratefulness for Cao Mo Kun, but now, he was deeply resentful.
You knew he was my boyfriend, why did you snatch him?
Cao Mo Kun gave him a mocking smile, saying, buying your relationship for 300,000 was the most successful investment I've ever made.
Ji Han Yu had no way to fight back, after leaving, he'd glanced back at the house, telling himself that he must get stronger, more powerful than Cao Mo Kun, so he could recapture his former lover.
Still, Lin Cheng Ze ultimately disappeared, completely gone. Since then, Ji Han Yu suffered from insomnia, relying on more and more drugs to survive three painful months.
Three months later, a friend opened a video on his phone, asking him to watch. His behavior was very mysterious. Ji Han Yu indifferently glanced at it, then was stunned.
Grabbing the phone, he greedily stared at the captivating boy on the screen. Of course, it was Lin Cheng Ze, the Lin Cheng Ze his heart yearned for, the Lin Cheng Ze who made him too deeply regretful to love again.
"This ad is blowing up online! Damn it, how didn't I notice that Lin Cheng Ze was such a fox! You introduced him to Wang Jie but not me, what the hell man?! Oh right, wasn't he your boyfriend? That kind of beauty, why did you willingly give him out? You're too daring...."
Ji Han Yu didn't wait for him to finish before he ruthlessly stuck out with a fist, his eyes full of endless hatred.
Why did you willingly give him out? Why did you willingly give him out? He'd also questioned himself countless times in the past, why did you willingly give him out?! You're so stupid!
He heard that buying a bottle of Extravagant came with Lin Cheng Ze's promotional poster. Ji Han Yu skipped class and rushed to the nearest department store.
The counter was crowded with people, everyone was clamoring for a bottle. He was crowded out, and when he finally managed to reach the front, the salesman told him they were out of stock.
He couldn't describe the great feeling of panic he had at that time, it seemed like no matter how hard he tried, he'd never be able to touch Lin ChengZe again.
He walked out of the mall like a wandering spirit, standing on the steps in a daze. He looked up, a giant LED screen was broadcasting an interview with top international designer, Orlando.
He called Lin Cheng Ze his Goddess of Beauty, Narcissus gazing at his reflection by the lakeside, Ganymede who poured wine for the gods. His appearance could make gods and kings fall, if you didn't love him, it was simply a sin.
The last sentence broke Ji Han Yu's heart. He did love him, he just realized too late.
A picture of Lin Cheng Ze showed up on the screen, many people stopped to look up, even a few cars slowed down. Their eyes exposed unconcealable surprise and longing.
Ji Han Yu didn't dare look, he left in a trance. Eventually, he used some connections to buy a few bottles of Extravagant, and covered his room with Lin ChengZe's posters, it was as if he'd never left. From that day on, he was gradually able to fall asleep, but his dreams were plentiful.
He desperately worked, hoping to overtake Cao Mo Kun as soon as possible. He became an upstart in the business world, various kinds of beauties pranced around him, but they could no longer arouse even a bit of his interest.
If you once had the most precious treasure in the world, then you lost it, you would find that no other person or thing could ever enter your eye.
Lin ChengZe was the best, no one could replace him.
One day, after handling a very important business deal, Ji Han Yu returned home, exhausted. He sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the wall covered with Lin ChengZe's photos.
Suddenly, the news broadcast on the TV reported that Cao Mo Kun was in a car accident, his lower body was seriously injured, he might be paralyzed. Ji Han Yu froze for several minutes, then, an insuppressible joy rose into his heart.
Cao Mo Kun had fallen, maybe this meant he had another chance. What was Lin Cheng Ze feeling right now? Anxious, helpless? No, I must hurry to his side as quickly as possible.
Ji Han Yu immediately stood up and packed his things, he emptied out his wardrobe to find his most decent suit and changed into it. He dragged his suitcase to the airport, and bought the earliest flight to F country.
About twenty minutes from boarding time, Lin Cheng Ze's captivating face appeared on the tv in the terminal. He looked very haggard, but his eyes were striking.
He came out in front of all of the media, saying with a resolute expression,
"Cao Mo Kun is my lover, I love him, so I will never give up on him. I hope we can get everyone's blessings."
At that moment, Cao Mo Kun became the most hated man in the world. Ji Han Yu heard the teen girls who were sitting in the row over burst into grieving tears.
A man angrily kicked a billboard, muttering that the interview was faked, it was an April Fool's joke etc. In this world, many people madly adored Lin Cheng Ze, but he only loved one person.
Ji Han Yu laughed, laughed and laughed until tears unexpectedly flowed out. He wondered, why did he think that Lin Cheng Ze would need him at this time?
Why did he think that he would accept him, just because Cao Mo Kun met with misfortune?
He was Lin Cheng Ze after all, the Lin Cheng Ze who, once he fell in love with someone, he was loyal until death! His beloved will be the happiest person in the world.
Refunding his ticket, Ji Han Yu returned to his house, muddleheaded, then fell into bed. He had a dream. In that dream, he was sitting in the dining room in the Lin house, helping Lin Cheng Ze pick out the green peppers in his food.
Seeing him eating eagerly, he quickly poured him a glass of warm milk, then kissed his milk drenched red lips. Lin Cheng Ze's arms wrapped around his neck, his peach blossom eyes glittering, he was so beautiful, so captivating ... ...
Ji Han Yu woke up with a sweet smile, then he looked around his cold and empty room, and was brought back to his hopeless reality. He'd spent two months hating Lin ChengZe, but now, he'll spend the rest of his life loving him.
He always considered moving on, but he sunk deeper and deeper every day. Lin ChengZe had already left him behind, but he was still trapped in his dulling memories, never able to move on.
Lin ChengZe's love was like a raging fire, his fire had burned Ji Han Yu's soul to ashes, leaving only an empty shell.
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T/N:
Lin ChengZe- the book version had a typo, putting Ji Han Yu's name instead of Lin ChengZe. Why does the officially published version have more errors than the online one? It also removed Simon's name, weird. Maybe it's just the version I'm using.
And so ends another chapter of FOD.
Next Chapter- ZYS drives a man to use drugs