A/N: Hey my lovely people!! I am so terribly sorry that this is a day late. I promise I am really really trying to stay on top of it, I'm just perpetually struggling it seems. But this chapter is just a smidge longer than usual, so I hope that can sort of make up for it. Thank you all so much for sticking with me!!!
Chuck led you down the long corridors with Lorelai. He stopped in front of one of the doors with your name on it. Lorelai leans to the side to whisper to you.
"This is the part that makes the decision hard."
"What do you mean?"
"You'll see." She nodded at Chuck who opened the door.
You looked warily between the two. What was in the mysterious room that was going to persuade you to stay? There wasn't much, you thought, that could convince you not to go back to the boys.
"Go ahead," Chuck told you. "I'll open the door after you've been in there for a few minutes."
You hesitantly walked into the room and felt overwhelmed by the sight. It was the living room from the house you grew up in. The carpet was the same faded brown color you remembered. And the couch...you couldn't help but chuckle. It was the ugliest mustard yellow color, but it was home and you hadn't seen it so long.
You noticed all of your baby doll clothes scattered across the floor by the finger smudged coffee table. It seemed like you were being drawn to it, perhaps by the need to feel connected to your old life. You walked over to the toys and sat cross-legged on the ground, picking up your baby doll and cradling it like you would have done when you were a child.
The reflection of yourself in the coffee table glass caught your eye. You weren't the you that you expected to be. The glass showed your hair pulled back into a messy braided ponytail, your shirt was a pinked striped Strawberry Shortcake shirt, and your face was young. This outfit was one you remembered wearing all the time when you were young, specifically when you were five years old.
Some noise caught your attention and you looked into the entryway to see your parents walking in.
"Mom? Dad?" you questioned in disbelief. Your heart jumped at seeing their faces again.
They walked in and knelt beside you.
"Hey precious," your dad said, using the nickname he frequently called you.
"We have a surprise for you," Mom said, standing and taking your hand.
It was then that you realized that you were in an actual memory your childhood, so you played along and said what you knew you said back then.
"A surprise? What is it?"
"You'll have to come with me." She started to lead you out of the living room and into the kitchen. You were excited to be able to see the blue and orange floral wallpaper, and the peeling tan linoleum, and the sun peeking through the window by the dining table. You could picture the way it would showcase the dust floating through the air like it so frequently used to. The excitement of seeing another part of your childhood built on top of the excitement you had for getting to see your surprise.
Suddenly, just before you walked into the kitchen, your dad made a loud noise while running up behind you and scooping you into his arms. He tossed you up into the air a few times, causing a high pitched squeal and some giggles to come from you. Your response made your dad expel a hearty laugh. The sound swelled and filled your ears. It was a sound you didn't realize you missed so much.
Dad held you on his side with your legs wrapped around him. Your tiny little fingers stretched up and rubbed the stubble on his face. "You need to shave, Daddy."
Your mom chuckled at his side as he rubbed his face on your cheek and you laughed.
"Daddy," you jokingly whined.
"Alright you two," Mom fake scolded. "What do you say you let her down so she can see her surprise?"
Your dad started to place your feet clad in mismatched socks on the ground, and just before you got to see your brother holding your surprise puppy, just before you got to jump up and down in excitement, just before you pulled your parents into the biggest hug your short arms would allow, Chuck pulled you out.
"Why didn't you let me finish?" you asked, tears pooling in your eyes. You were with your family and happy. Having the chance to relive a memory, but not being allowed to finish it, brought more pain than you imagined it would.
Lorelai pulled you into her side and wrapped an arm around your shoulder in comfort. A single tear escaped and trailed down your cheek.
"Because," he started, "I wanted to give you a taste of what Heaven is like. If you finished the memory, you wouldn't feel the need to stay and there would be no competition for your choice."
"What are the rest of these doors?" you asked, hoping they would contain more of what you just experienced.
"There is a door for each year of your life, and behind each door is one of your favorite memories for that age."
"I'm only one person. How can I have that many doors and experience them?" You needed to have every bit of information that you could before making the decision of staying or going.
"Things work differently in heaven. You would be able to experience them all at one time."
You nodded your head. "Did I have a favorite memory from this year?" It didn't seem like you would. The year hadn't been especially great.
"You do," he replied with the nod of his head.
"Well...can I see it?" You were curious to know what memory your mind had subconsciously tucked away and marked as your favorite.
He shook his head. "Your trial version is over. In order to see more, you need to upgrade to the premium membership."
"Chuck," Lorelai scolded. "Now is not the time for your corny jokes. Give the poor girl a break."
You leaned deeper into her side in thanks. For someone who carted you off in death and made you leave the world you knew, she was actually sweet.
"Sorry. But you do need to make a decision. Here or Earth?"
"I'm still stuck on the memory thing," you said. "Can I at least know what it was?"
Chuck shrugged. "I suppose so. Do you remember the night at the bunker when Dean brought you flowers and pie?"
You stared at him blankly. No...that was not your favorite memory. Was it? "Yes," you answered slowly.
"That's the memory."
How did you not know your favorite memory? And how was your favorite memory of Dean? What he did that night was sweet, but did it really mean that much to you?
All of the feelings you tried so hard to suppress came rushing in and your heart ached at the thought of losing Dean, of never being able to see him again. Maybe he didn't view you as anything more than a sister, and maybe it was torture to be around him from time to time, but it was still worth it. You were pretty certain that you had fallen in love with Dean Winchester, but even aside from that, you enjoyed his company.
Maybe he wasn't the typical sweet that most people think of when they imagine the ideal guy, but he was sweet in his own way. And he was uniquely him. You didn't want him to be the stereotypical guy. You wouldn't change a thing about him.
You forced yourself to come back from the rabbit trail of thoughts about Dean and focus on Chuck. "Can you give me more information on Heaven before I decide?"
He walked back to the conference room with Lorelai and you in tow. Once you were all situated, he began explaining Heaven and all of the perks. It sounded amazing. No pain, no sadness, no monsters...and best of all, you would relive your memories and see your family daily. Just the brief moment of getting to see your parents in the sample memory Chuck allowed was enough to persuade you to stay. You missed them.
"So what will it be? Heaven with the family you miss, or Earth with the boys you love?"
"Love is a strong word," you countered defensively, not even close to ready to admitting your feelings for Dean. Telling Sam was hard enough, but talking to God about your love life...that was even worse.
"Y/N," he looked down at you like a parent would look down at a child. "I'm God. You can't fool me. You love them both in different ways, and that's okay. They love you too."
Lorelai leaned in to you and whispered, "Told you he loved you."
You glared at her. They were making your decision so hard. How were you supposed to choose between your family in Heaven and your new family on earth? Your heart was being pulled in two very different directions, and you knew that no matter what choice you made, a part of you would be broken no matter what.
With a deep breath and shaking hands, you replied, "I want my family."
"Okay," Chuck said quietly. "Then you'll be staying here."
You shook your head, heart pounding more than it ever did in life. "I wasn't done. I want my family. I miss them. But I can't leave Sam and Dean. My family is dead, and being here unfortunately won't change that. Those two brothers though, they're alive still and I want to be alive with them."
Chuck clapped his hands together and smiled wide. "I was hoping you would make that decision. You've been good for them both, especially Dean. I've quite enjoyed watching the two of you, especially knowing what I know about the both of you."
"What does that even mean?"
He waved his hand in the air in dismissal. "It's not important. I do have some things I need to tell you though that will affect you when you go back."
You waited nervously to hear what he was going to tell you. You had never died before, so you didn't know what to expect.
"The wound you got is not one I can fully heal. The Starship that stabbed you had demonic symbols etched into the wraith, symbols so powerful I can't even overpower them. You're going to be hurting for several days."
You nodded along with what he was saying, trying to hide your fear. A Starship harnessing demonic power so strong that not even God could overcome it...that had nothing but trouble all over it, and it terrified you.
"I know you're a hunter, and you guys are so stubborn it's annoying. But don't push yourself. Take it easy until you fell normal again. This isn't your everyday stab wound."
"I promise."
He nodded and walked over to you without another word. Before you had the chance to say anything else or ask any more questions, he touched your temple and you were greeted by a bright flash of white. You were going home.