Thomas took several steps backwards. He sat down beside Minho, leaning his back against the wall. His head bowed, fighting the urge to look at the girl. Newt's right, Thomas ensured himself. Teresa has gone. He saw that worst moment with his own eyes. That girl wasn't Teresa although they both look very similar.
"Who are they, Newt?" The girl let her eyes wander, scanning Thomas and his friends one by one.
"They're my friends. Come on, follow me!" Newt grabbed the girl by the arm. He sat beside Thomas, and the girl was beside him. He needed a moment to start his story. "Guys, this is Clarisse. I know you think she's Teresa. That was what I thought the first time I met her. But, she's not her for sure."
Clarisse only nodded. She didn't release a word, seemingly let Newt tell his friends the whole story, about herself included.
Thomas still lowered his eyes. Clarisse made him hard to restrain all of the memories about Teresa. Every moment, as long as the memory he got, flashed in his head.
It was right, Teresa betrayed him. Indeed. However his last memory about her made a piece of that bad memory meant nothing. All he could remember about Teresa were some sweet moments. Longing easily sharpened, slicing his heart wildly, making pain spread throughout his body.
"Tommy, you okay?"
Thomas lifted his head, seeing Newt, Minho, Sonya, and Clarisse were staring at him. Even Gally. Only Brenda and Jorge who didn't. They both had disappeared. Thomas utterly didn't have any ideas where they were. Something pricked him in the heart. Brenda. Once again, he hurt her.
"Wake up, Thomas!" Minho spoke near his ear, making Thomas barely startled. You're really a daydreamer."
"Sorry. I just ... It's confusing." Thomas shrugged. His forehead folded and his expression insisted his words. "I'm sorry Newt. I should be happy to see you. That's definitely what I feel right now. I am so glad. I just ..."
"I know, Tommy." Newt nodded firmly. "You can deal with this slowly."
Thomas's gaze found Newt's eyes. His friendly look sent Thomas serenity. Newt absolutely understood him. He let out a long sigh, then nodded. "You're right, Newt. I am really sorry. I shouldn't ruin our big reunion."
"It's okay, you shank." Minho elbowed him in the gut. He grinned, making his eyes half closed.
Thomas nodded, the only thing he could do. "So, tell us the whole story, Newt!" He begged.
Newt nodded. He tilted his head to look at Gally. "What're you doin' there, Gally? Don't you wanna join us, shank?"
"Well. If you think so." Gally shrugged. He left his place to approach Thomas and the others
"The third trial." Newt began. With that the light in his eyes extinguished. He looked at the distance, breaking through the wall, trying to reach something farther, something worse. "It was definitely crazy. They tortured me with some Flare virus that they'd mutated. I couldn't refuse of course. Willing or not, I was their experimental rabbit. They observed my reaction against that virus. Before the virus caused a very bad damage on me, they gave me the serum. They let me healed only to make me a host for the other viruses."
Thomas felt the tremor of fear slid down his throat. He was in the white room with food served three times a day. It was good enough, compared to Newt's third trial.
"But, that was not the worst part. They used me to get you, Tommy. That was the worst." Newt's eyes lingered to Thomas. Guilt covered his face.
Thomas looked back at Newt. He couldn't believe what Newt thought of. His trial was the worst, he thought. Meanwhile, Newt thought worst part was related to him. Newt thought too much about him instead of himself.
"What do you mean by using you?" Thomas frowned. He'd already forgotten about Teresa. Curiosity consumed him. Newt story was one and the only thing he wanted.
"They found you as the best candidate for their imaginative cure, Tommy. They knew you wouldn't agree to help them built the cure. So, there I was. No wonder they knew Minho and me were close enough with you. They decided to use me because ... Of Lizzy."
Thomas had a second to think. The cure. Best friend. And ... Lizzy. His forehead creased once again, but disappeared soon. He though he knew the answer.
"How could you remember?" Minho was the one who asked. He raised his eyebrows. "Don't tell me they returned your memories."
"The changing," Gally mumbled.
"Brings back memory," Thomas added, a bit whispered.
Newt nodded, giving them confirmation. "You got the point."
"So, you already remembered me when we were in ... Before Johnson gave announcement, big brother?"
"Yeah." Once again, Newt nodded. "I remembered a few things though the memories have faded away. I remembered you, Gally. Almost didn't believe knowing we were best friend before the Maze trial." Newt let out a small smile. "No wonder you're here now, with us."
Gally didn't show any expression, just flat.
"The most important thing is I'd never forget who you are, once I got some flashes memories about you, Lizzy." Newt continued. "WICKED knew, I'd try hard to keep a small piece of my memories. That was the reason they chose me. They absolutely knew Lizzy was the one I'll sacrifice myself for, besides you." Newt looked at Thomas, then Minho to explain his last two words.
"It was shuck!" Minho spat. "I want to break their neck right now." He clenched his hand into a fist. His face hardened and reddened. He had no doubt to do that.
"I know you're gonna do that." Newt widened his lip a little, curving a little smile.
"How did exactly they use you?" Thomas asked, curiously. Though he got some clues, he didn't get the conclusion yet based on some pieces of the story.
"I'm going to tell you." Newt took a deep inhale. "Rat man. He told me I wasn't immune before he gave that announcement in front of us."
"But ..."
Newt nodded to Sonya, motioning whatever she was about to say, she was right. Thomas exchanged glares with Minho who seemingly had some questions, just like him. But, he didn't let out a word from him because he knew Newt would gave him the answer very soon.
"They wanted me to ask you to volunteer yourself in order to help WICKED finding a cure. With the Flare in my brain, you knew that I need the cure so desperately. They hopped, you would softened if I became one of the person you bet for." Newt paused. "I wouldn't do that That silly thing. Since I had known I infected the Flare, life was the last thing I wanted."
"It was shuck!" Minho scowled, repeating his words several minutes earlier. Furry burnt his face. Thomas knew the reason. WICKED did too much to Newt.
"The best words you can say." Newt said.
"You really didn't do that." Thomas muttered, to loud to be heard only by himself.
"Yeah. For me, I didn't have a choice. Lizzy's my sister. I didn't want something bad happened to Lizzy. On the other side, after everything we've been through, you're family either, Tommy. It was impossible to sacrifice you for WICKED." Newt stopped.
Thomas stayed silent. He couldn't imagine how to be Newt at that time. He knew fear was one of some emotion that Newt felt. It was high level of fear. Newt didn't even care about his fear though. He seemingly didn't give a damn about the Flare, but Sonya and him were what Newt thought of. How selfless!
"If I were you, I couldn't make a choice too." Minho's face softened, showing desperation. Thomas knew, he was serious.
"Thanks to you, Minho." Newt smiled genuinely, making all of them bewildered to find some funny parts.
"Me?" Minho frowned.
Newt nodded. "If you didn't make me mad when we were in the weapons room, I wouldn't take more attention to the Flare." Newt paused a moment. He turned to see Thomas. "You know why I wrote that letter, Tommy?"
Thomas's response was too fast. He shook his head before Newt said his last word. "Now I'm glad, I didn't do what you asked me to, Newt."
"Right now, me too, Tommy. Back to that time, I didn't like my life more than death. In anyway, that Flare killed me slowly. And before it finished my life, I would reach the worst stage, being wild. That made me scare, losing myself to the virus. I easily harmed the others. Besides, before I lost my whole sanity, I was worry they would get control on me." Newt shifted his eyes, looking at Gally. "Just like what happened to you, right?"
Gally nodded. "That was not a good thing. When they got me, it was like I jailed in my body. I didn't have control on myself. Everything what I did were against myself, including ... You know."
"If your next sentence is apology, forget it!" Thomas told. "I---all of us I'm sure---have already forgave you, Gally. You're part of family, now."
Gally slightly smiled. His expression was combination among happy, guilty, and relief.
"Good that. What next, Newt?"
"I thought you would read that letter soon. I believed in you that you could end me. The sooner you did that, the better for us. I didn't need to worry about whatever WICKED would do to me. I hopped, I'd dead before WICKED got control on me. Apparently, you were not that smart, Tommy." Newt chuckled.
Thomas himself found Newt more and more selfless. Hard to believe that kind of person---a very good and selfless one---existed in this world.
"The good thing was, I heard that Teresa took the others to escape from WICKED's headquarter, Lizzy included. At least, they couldn't touch my little sister though I ignored WICKED's order."
"The question is," Minho interrupted. "Why didn't you tell us anything while WICKED far away from us?"
Newt closed his eyes before he gave Minho the answer. "About the third trial, I hate every second of that. It's nauseating just to remember. About what they ordered me to convince Tommy, that was not important for me. No matter what, I wouldn't do that. And about Lizzy ... Too hard to say. Too painful to remember all the things when I was gonna die soon enough. I might never have a chance to hold my sister's hand, warning her not to cry my death." Newt smiled, clearly fake.
"You know, Newt, you're so sweet."
Thomas turned his face, seeing Clarisse smiled meaningfully to Newt. She was very quiet so that Thomas almost forget her existence.
"Thanks, Clare." Newt's smile became more genuine. He glared back to his friend. "I think, doesn't matter if I skip a part at Crank Palace."
Thomas, Minho, and Gally didn't show any respons. Their expression were flat. Newt considered it as an agreement.
"After you left me alive, I had no desire to continue my life. I felt my life useless, only to wait for my death. I readied to kill myself. After the Cranks went away, I took the gun. I was about to kill myself when she suddenly stand in front of me." Newt glanced at Clarisse. "Clare had two pistols. Two fool things I did, dropping my gun and calling her 'Teresa'."
"Clare was overacting because of that name. He stroke me with a thousands questions. Poor Clare. That time, I didn't want to do anything, except killing myself. It was stupid, I know. I should took my gun soon, then pointed it to my head for fulfill my wish. I didn't even think at that time." Newt shrugged.
"I left Clare. But, she seemed not to easily give up. Clare followed me. I totally ignored her. Clare didn't bother. Talk as much as she could. I barked out to stop her talking. Clare stopped asking, but not scare of me. She was really serious about her questions. I didn't know what in your head, Clare. How dare you made me faint."
Clarisse only giggled.
"Clare took me to a doctor. There I found myself immune. All the bad things happened on me, unstable emotion, and others were effect from the mutated Flare virus. WICKED had made a serum for that. Luckily, that doctor was on of a few doctors who made the serum. He has the serum, using it on me. Clare didn't wait for my recovery. Once I opened my eyes, she released so many questions, mostly I didn't know the answer.
"Then, I heard about the Right Arm, they planned to attack WICKED. They took a few immune there. Clare gathered many information. She told me Gladers and Group B were with them. I was happy, just a couple hours before I heard the next news. Right Arm exploded WICKED's headquarter. A hundreds people were killed. Not only WICKED's worker. A hundreds immune who were hiden got killed too. No news told the Gladers and Group B were alive." Newt wandered his eyes, seeing his friend one by one, then let them look down.
"Newt didn't say anything after heard that news. He spent his day lying on the bed. Sometimes I saw him cry." Clarisse added.
"Honestly, you can skip that part, Clare."
"Wait, why were you very curious to get those news? You're her ..." Thomas closed his mouth. The words failed him.
"Yeah, that simple." Newt told. "Clare is ..." Newt glared at Clarisse, letting her to answer.
"Teresa's my twin sister."