MID-AUTUMN, 2001
New beginnings are often disguised
as painful endings.
"Well, Mister Austin, we will continue to look into this, but with this case, I feel the law is on our side. Especially with the recent DNA tests concluding Louis is positively your son. We will have to wait until the child is born to see if they are Mister Tomlinson's." Mister Simon Cowell stated, tapping the files in his hands on the table to straighten them out. "The one issue is that you two are not married in the eyes of the law. But, I don't think that will affect our case greatly," he nodded, standing up. "Next Monday we will meet with Miss Poulston and her lawyer, if that works with y–"
"Ah! Da! Oh-a-ah!" Giggled the naked, nine month old baby as he quickly crawled into the kitchen. "Da! Uh, uh." He whined, going over to his dad, sitting flat on his bum and putting his hand in his mouth.
Gemma was not far behind him, holding a fresh diaper and a tiger stuffed animal. Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment as she noticed the two men looking at her and the baby. "I'm sorry, Troy. Haz and I couldn't hold him back, he wanted his dad." She explained, glancing back as Harry waddled his way over, holding onto his older sister's leg.
"Sowwy."
"It's completely fine," Simon smiled, grabbing his briefcase and placing the papers inside. "I'm just heading out, anyway. Thank you for meeting with me, Troy. You surely have a daddy's boy on your hands."
Troy chuckled, picking up his son. "Since birth," he agreed, kissing Louis' head. "I'll show you out," he insisted, handing the small boy to Gemma and leading Simon out, shutting the door behind him.
Anne walked over to him and gently placed her hand on his shoulder. "She was my best friend... I thought we told each other everything," she sighed. "I can't believe she'd do this to Louis, to you."
Troy sighed, turning to look at the woman. "I didn't ask you to come over to side with me. She's your friend, Anne, I don't expect you to bash her just because she hurt me."
"She didn't just hurt you, Troy, she hurt Louis. Her son, for Christ's sake. Over these past couple months, I've grown to adore Louis. He is the sweetest little thing, reminds me so much of Harry. Anyone who would put their selfishness in front of their child's happiness is no friend of mine."
• • •
LATE AUTUMN, 2001
There is a difference between giving
up and knowing when you have had enough.
"I hate you, Troy," Jay snapped, throwing the papers at him, resting her hand on her growing baby bump. "I can't believe you'd even dare try to take my son from me, you sick fuck."
"I just love how you call him your son, like you actually love him," Troy laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "If you really loved my son, you wouldn't have cheated on his father. If you really loved him, you wouldn't have driven a wedge between us, his parents. "You are selfish, Johannah."
Jay sighed, brushing her fingers through her long, brown hair. "Troy, I love you so much, and I love Louis. He's my baby, my first born. How about we start over again? I don't want to lose you, please don't give up on me." She pleaded, biting her lip.
"It's not giving up, Jay. I've had enough. I've had enough of you trying to defend yourself. There is absolutely no reason on this fucking planet for you to do that to my Louis, our Louis. He doesn't deserve this." He said, zipping up his jacket as he walked out of the courthouse and to his car.
"Troy-"
"No, Jay, no." Troy whispered, turning back to her. "I'm getting full custody of my son. But, just so you know, I'm not going to fed him an opinion of you. He is going to grow up knowing who is mother is, knowing that she had loved him. I'll tell him about you, Johannah, he'll never forget about you. I'm sorry, but you chose to cheat on me, you chose to risk your live with him. No one but you is at fault. I loved you, Jay, I really did, but you clearly didn't love me or my son enough to stay and be my wife and his mother."
• • •
LATE WINTER, 2002
"I was never ready for you to leave."
"Ma!" Louis whined, wiggling in his father's arms, looking around at all people in black surrounding them, sticking out his bottom lip. "Mama."
"Mama is sleeping, baby," Troy whispered, nodding his head as an older woman greeted him, who he was pretty sure is Johannah's aunt.
"Whah?"
Troy sighed, kissing his son's soft caramel hair. "'Cause she likes it, honey. She's safe when she sleeps," he said, going over to their seats next to Johannah's mother and father.
"Wake?' Louis questioned, tilting his head to the side in confusion then reaching out for his nana, whining. "Na."
"No, sweetheart." Answered his father, handing his son to the arms of the waiting woman.
"How is my sweet little Lou, hm?" She cooed, kissing his nose, smiling as Louis giggled and played with her necklace. "Do you like it, honey? Maybe nana will give it to one day, to remember me."
"Hello, Mister and Missus Poulston," greeted another man. Troy turned his body toward the guest, narrowing his eyes when he put a name to a face.
"Mark, I'd appreciate it if you kept your distance from my son." He spoke with a bitter tone, glancing to make sure his little Louis is safe.
"Troy, you know I had no idea she was engaged, she never mentioned you, no pictures. She had told me that Louis was the product of a failed relationship, I'm terribly sorry for what I caused–"
"None of that," Johannah's mother demanded. "We are here to celebrate her life, not to discuss her faults. My daughter was not perfect, she made mistakes, but her life was taken from her at a young age. Let's all come together peacefully for her, just this once."
Everyone agreed and chose to stay silent until the ceremony began.
"Johannah was taken from us to soon." Mister Poulston began his speech, wiping under his eyes. "Just four days ago, Jay was driving to work after dropping her young daughter off at her father's house when she was hit by a drunk driver. We-we miss her, greatly, but she is in a better place now. She loved her son, Louis, and her daughter, Charlotte, dearly, and I know she wishes she could be here for them." He went on to talk about wonderful memories of his daughter, from when he first held her to when he last said goodbye.
Within the hour, the ceremony was over, and Johannah's casket was lowered into the snow covered ground.
"Mama?" Louis whimpered, reaching out for the casket. "Mama!" He whined before beginning to cry. Why are they doing that to his mommy? She can't breathe down there.
Troy excused himself and brought Louis into the church, sitting in the back pew with the young boy in his arms.
"Da, wa' ma." Louis said, wiggling in Troy's arms. He needs to save his mommy, she can't breathe, he needs to help her.
"Sh, baby, mommy is okay. Mommy is sleeping, sweetheart, it's safer for her to sleep down there. She's okay, sweetie. Daddy loves you so, so much, baby boy. Mommy loves you too"
• • •
SUMMER, 2007
"When a flower doesn't bloom,
you fix the environment in which it grows,
not the flower."
–Alexander Den Heijer
Troy always knew Louis was different.
It started when he didn't want
to get rid of his childhood crib.
"Lou, baby, you are a big boy now, huh? Big boys don't sleep in a crib," Troy attempted to explain to his son, who was stubbornly laying in his crib, refusing to let his father take him out of it.
"No, daddy, Louis likes 'is bed! No bi' boy bed! No, daddy." The six year old whined, hiding under his blanket and hugging his stuffed tiger close to his chest. "'ou baby, daddy, not big boy. Stay 'ere."
Troy sighed, crouching down to his level. "Okay, bunny, you can keep the crib. You'll always be my baby, Lou. Daddy loves you lots and lots."
Louis giggled, poking his head out of the blanket and reaching out to touch Troy's nose. "Bun 'oves 'ou too, daddy."
Then, he couldn't stop sucking his
thumb and he preferred
to use baby bottles or sippy cups
rather than a regular glasses.
Louis giggled as he crawled over next to Harry, snuggling up to his best friend. "'Azzie."
"Yes, blue?" Harry asked, fixing Louis' glasses and tapping his nose lightly to get the young boy to smile.
"Baba," He demanded, furrowing his brows. "Want, want baba."
Harry grinned fondly. "Say please, little Lou."
"Want, please, 'az." Louis pouted. "Baba."
Troy walked into the living area, sitting next to Louis and lifting him into his lap. "No, baby. No bottle. You're too old for a bottle, love."
"Sippy, daddy." Louis insisted, wiggling in his fathers arms.
"Sippy cups are for little babies, Lou, you are not a little baby anymore, love."
Louis let out a whine, sticking his thumb into his mouth and sucking as tears made their way down his rosy cheeks.
Troy frowned, going to remove Louis' thumb from his mouth but Louis screamed loudly, getting off his lap and hiding under his blanket on the floor.
He also took a liking toward
the clothes you would
find the girl's section– skirts, dresses,
and pink fuzzy socks.
"Schools about to start, isn't it bunny? What do you want to get for your first day?" Troy asked his son, leading him through the store and toward the boy's section. When he didn't receive a response, he frowned, turning to see if Louis was behind him. But, he wasn't. The toddler was standing in front of a floral yellow dress, gently fingering with the lace trim.
"Daddy?" Louis asked, turning toward his father with a hopeful glint in his eye. "Want, pwetty pwease."
"You want a dress, baby? Dresses are typically for girls." Troy said hesitantly, walking over to him and crouching down to be face to face with his son.
"Want." Louis nodded, standing on his tiptoes to grab the first one on the rack and handing it to his father.
Troy looked at the dress and then the toddler, smiling as he placed the dress back on the rack. "Ok, baby, anything you want," he agreed, searching for the correct size then putting it over his arm. "What else do you want to get?"
Louis led him around the pink walled section, grabbing skirts, dresses, and shirts with sparkles, lace, and flowers. And Troy allowed him to grab each one, complimenting him on his choices, and telling him how beautiful he will look.
Troy knew Louis was different,
but he wouldn't change it for the world.
"Well, Mister Austin, it appears to me that your son has infantilism," Doctor Aoki explained, watching as one of the young nurses lead Louis over to look at the office fish tank.
"What is infantilism? Is Louis okay?" Troy asked worriedly, eye brows furrowed as he too looked to his son. A small smile made its way to his lips as he watched his son giggling happily, attempting to chase the fast swimming fishes with his finger.
Doctor Aoki chuckled, patting the worried father's shoulder. "He's perfectly okay. Infantilism is the persistence of infantile characteristics or behavior in adult life. Although Louis is only a toddler, the behavior he shows is not normal for his age. Most children develop fluent speech at the age of three, which Louis clearly lacks. He insists on using bottles, which many children stop at about 12 months, and he prefers diapers to pull-ups or basic undergarments. Most children are done with diapers by three years, but Louis is six, almost seven in December. It is highly unlikely for a child to persist with infantile behaviors as a toddler, hence why we brought him in for testing." He explained to Troy all the signs, and showed him the scans of Louis' brain, pointing out the differences with an infantistic brain versus the brain of a standard child. "We believe that infantilism is hereditary, but there is no cure. Infantilism is not a disease, but a physiological disorder. Even with his infantilism, Louis is a happy and healthy child."
Troy sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "Okay, doc, as long as this can't hurt him, I don't want my baby to go through any pain because of it."
"He is perfectly healthy and unharmed, Mister Austin. It's physiological, not physical. With the research we have on infantilism, Louis will go through no pain. His brain and body are still under the impression he is an infant, hence the infantile behaviors and characteristics. Louis is different, since not many his age are diagnosed with infantilism, but he is still your son."
"He is my world, my only son. I'll always love him no matter what." The father insisted.
After the appointment, Troy took Louis out for ice cream, listening to his son babble about the pretty fish he met today thanks to Nurse Isabella.
That night, with his toddler asleep in his arms, he did some research on the disorder, because yeah, his son is different, but Louis' difference will not change Troy's love for him.
> > > >
Author's Note:
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and all my information about infantilism comes from the internet. However, after long downward spirals into the internet, I have found very little information about infantilism. Thus, I must make some some characteristics on my own to have the story work. If you know someone that can help me with true facts about infantilism, please, please reach out, because it would be greatly appreciated, I do not want to get anything wrong.
I don't want to have to say this constantly but I feel like I'll have to, I mean no disrespect to Johannah Deakin. I'm sorry if this offends.
More Larry in the next chapter, stay tuned!
published: 05/09/2018 with 2274 words