JUSTIN's POV
The school seemed to be extra rammed today as I was standing along with crowds of impatient guardians chattering away to whoever came near as they waited for the children to run out of her classroom and indulge for their newfound freedom.
I had to keep checking my watch secured on my wrist just to make sure they weren't running late. The impatience surrounding was beginning to takes its toll on me. Even a few flicks on the glass to hopefully hurry it up knowing full well it wouldn't be of use. A define flaw in my system.
Maybe it wasn't because I just wanted to see my sister and hear about her day but because I wanted to take that rat bastard of a father down this minute, this second.
From the recent events, I have hardly seen Jazzy personally - FaceTime was nearly a daily deal for us over the month - and she was constantly kept in the dark on everything around her. Too many everything will be fine or just focus on your schoolwork bullshit excuses thrown in her direction and she just accepted it. No argument. No counter-argument. She just usually nodded her head and carried on as if her world was settled in place. She wouldn't understand, she was far too young to grasp the family complications. I hoped for that to be the understanding.
As we were all aware, she knew was it was my time to move out of the house to make my own beginnings and Selena and Michael's relationship didn't work out in the end, but she would always be happy to see her if she needed it. She probably wasn't deluded though and expected more of a complex narrative somewhere along the lines so I suppose it worked out well this way - for now.
"Jazzy." I wave her over she makes her appearance from the hectic children from her class. She was one of the only children not behaving like animals, walking contently over to my direction, quietly. She smiles in my direction, leaving her small group of friends a few seconds after.
"Justin!" Unexpectedly, she skips to me and doesn't stop until her petite arms are wrapped around me from her embrace. I kneel down slightly so I can go to her level and I instantly smiled. Sometimes my little sister was a cure for family comedowns.
Within a month, she looked so much more grown-up, yet still full of life. Usually, she would appear sulky and would always highlight how she just wants to get home. Now, her cheeks were rosy, her grin was uplifting. I think she even had a sparkly lip gloss on.
After our long I've missed you so much hug, parents seemed to already have disappeared and on their journeys home or to the nearest fast-food chain. It was like school was still in process. I take her bookbag from her hand and sling it on my shoulder as we take a peaceful stride to the car.
"So, how was school today Jaz? Did you do anything cool?" For once, I didn't wince at saying those words or fear the response. It was a refreshing feeling.
"It was great actually. Did you know if you mix cornflour and water together, it becomes a matter which is a solid and a liquid?" I glanced her way, thinking about whether she had been cloned. Usually, I expect a sentence which is limited to five basic words with a strong sigh of annoyance. I could already tell by her expression of joy and the fact she was beaming from this small revelation, she was moulding into a genius like her brother and behind the shock, I was proud.
"Huh? Really? How does that work then?" I ask her, somewhat curious of her familiar topic.
"If you leave it in your hand with no pressure adding to it, it acts like a liquid but if you hold it or keep it moving, it remains in a solid form."
"Ah, that sounds pretty cool." It actually did. I remember studying remarkable science material on YouTube out of pure boredom during my college days, hoping something would spark some kind of drive to conduct my own experiments. I was a lowkey nerd for small science experiments. Maybe not that specific area Jazzy mentioned, but something near enough. Biology more than anything. "I don't think I ever learnt that when I was your age." I politely lie.
"That's because when you were my age, that was years and years ago and things weren't as developed or as fun as they are today. You are old now and things change."
"Hey, hey" I scowl kindly as possible in her direction. "Don't be so cheeky, a little less of the old, yeah? You're not getting younger yourself missy."
In perfect harmony, we reach my BMW. Jazzy manages to get herself into the car and buckled up while I do the same, only I quickly dig in my phone after.
"Dad said there is nothing wrong with getting old." I hear the click of the seat belt and the adjustment of her body getting comfortable in the leather seats. "He says he has lived the best days of his age now."
Bastard.
"Daddy dearest just doesn't want to admit being old sucks." I bluntly say.
I probably should say more but I don't. I find Selena's name in my contacts and open up iMessage. Be ready. I am leaving school now.
As I place my phone in my trouser pocket, I look back at her to see if her seatbelt was adjusted properly for her safety before igniting the car and setting off to my old home.
She slumps in the chair, looking out the window like some teen romance movie, twisting her light brown locks in between her fingers so softly.
"I was thinking, since we haven't spent a lot of time together, you want to come round during the weekend?"
"To do what?"
"Whatever you like," I say instantly. I decide to put on some radio on as he talked since I could see the overload of cars in the distance. That Call Out My Name track was on and all I could think about was how wack it was. "What do you want to do?"
Um..." she holds the word for as long as her little lungs allow. "Can we go to Disneyland?"
"Disneyland? You want to go to Disneyland?"
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't." The sass.
I bite gently on my tongue and think about whether it was remotely possible. I wanted to make it possible for her.
"I-I'm sorry Jaz but I don't think we can go to Disneyland this weekend. Sorting everything from flights and hotels will be a lot to do in such a short time." I sigh at her face that falls instantly. I hated to let her down.
"Okay." She sounded broken as she turned back to the window.
Jazzy always wanted to go Disneyland and I knew she wanted to meet Cinderella, her favourite princess. Being a nerd myself, I wanted to go for anything Star Wars there. Her heavy breaths made me want to drive the entire day just to make her smile and actually not want to be pissed at me.
I remember Selena and Jazzy talking about their favourite princesses once. I pretended I didn't hear them but they both had a love for Cinderella, Selena on particular loved Belle from Beauty and the Beast. Selena even gave Jazzy her old dressing up dress which she had as a child.
"How about this then? I'll take you Florida for a whole week when you don't have school. We can go to Disneyland, go to that water park place and have a getaway from the city?
"Oh my god, Justin can we go? Are you serious?"
"I wouldn't have said it if I didn't." I mock her innocent little voice and she descends in giggles. Finally.
She smiled like we were already face to face with Mickey Mouse and she couldn't seem to let his sink, not even for a millisecond. If only a could pause time and be able to make that reaction and that genuine happiness a permanent thing.
I clear my throat. "Jazzy, would you mind if Selena joined us on this trip though? I know she would love to go and I suppose you would have more fun with someone who understands all of the princessy stuff you like. I heard her favourite princess is Sleeping Beauty."
"Yes, I love Selena." I smiled in relief as she beamed even more. "She can help me with my dress and make me feel like a princess when we go."
The hyper-active mood she vented was like medicine I didn't know I needed. God, I miss my little sister so much.
"We are home." Jazzy runs into the disturbed house with a perfect smile across her face. She throws her bag in her hallway and disappears in one of the room.
I feel awkward to step into the hallow halls of the Bieber residence for the first time since the wedding. The colder presence, the black and white decor no longer highlighted the intricate colours on the expensive taste though it hadn't even changed.
My hand traced the Greek statue in the corner followed by the patterned wallpaper. Everything around me I needed to touch to reminisce until an old photograph on the side popped up. I don't think it was there before I left. It was a photograph of our family, myself, Jazzy and my parents all under the illusion of happiness, or at least I hoped. Jazzy was an adorable baby as my mother cradled her softly in the pink blanket.
"It's good to see you again, son." The cold voice belonging to my father was directly behind me now, standing still. I was still. I was stiff. I didn't know what to do or how to approach this. I lowered the photograph that was in my hand back to its place and just remained there. "It's been lonely without your presence here, I have missed you."
I scoffed. "Is that another one of your lies?" I say, completely monotone.
"Of course not." The heels of his shoes glided across the marble flooring if only I could step forward to keep this comfortable distance between us. But the cabinet which proudly showed memories that were now tainted stopped that. "Things haven't been the same since you left, I've been an absolute mess trying to fix everything and make everything in order."
I spun on my heels to face the man who should be full of shame. The tanned man was in his pristine white suit with a few chains like he was some mafia boss. He could dress smartly but his face told another story. He looked exhausted like sleep had been his worst nightmare. His hair was lazily gelled back with no care. His hands rested against his chest so he could play and twist the golden rings hugging his rings.
"You look good, son." He compliments. Maybe it was the faint tan I had required from the sunbathing too much and my hair which had obtained blond highlights since we had last met.
Trying to keep the vain smug look off my face, I just analysed him from every aspect I could.
"You look like shit." I spit.
He simply smirks at me with a breathy chuckle.
"Let's just say there has been a lot of trouble surrounding at the moment and it's taking a toll." His hands slipped into his trouser pockets as he stood like an arrogant ass, leaning against the wall to his side now.
"It's what you deserve."
"Don't be like that, son" He interjects but I ignore him too easily.
"You really fucked up big time and clearly, you are still so self-absorbed that you haven't given a second thought about those you tried to hurt." I didn't care at the possible hurt expression that followed, which it did. He was more hurt about his ego being tampered than his actions which didn't surprise me at all. His eyes wandered to the floor, undecided about how to respond.
"You know deep down that isn't remotely true." His head tilts to the side as his wandering eye begins to still. "I still want to patch things up with you."
Was he for fucking real? A phone call, a text, even a postcard could have been delivered in my way within my month absence yet he didn't reach out. Not even once if I recall but he chose this way, face to face so it was hard for me to say no. He probably had propositions up his sleeve to try and persuade my forgiveness. He had plenty of time before to patch things up but he didn't. I know he knew he could easily pull my strings this way.
Just as I wanted to yell at him for his bullshit ways, I realised he gave me a perfect opener. A very easy distraction. This was it. This was how I could get what I needed.
"Fine." I was full of hostility but I had to suck it in. With a deep, forced breath, I gave into him.
With a gentle smile and his eyes glistening facade hope, he gestured me towards the living area, where I knew the duration of our very short conversation would take place.
As we walked, I discreetly took my phone from my left side pocket and hit Selena's contact with a text: we are in the living room, enter in a couple of minutes but hurry and be careful.
He closed the doors after us and I don't think he had to think twice before he instantly dived into the small bar on the opposite side of the room. His hand was drawn to his prized possession: a crystallised decanter with his finest and strongest whiskey drink. With a matching glass, he poured in a decent amount of one glass and an excessive amount for another.
He handed me the smallest glass which I took harshly, staring at the dark liquor. He had taken several gulps already, probably refuelling his already fading buzz. I let my fingers wrap around the glass and just rested it in my lap, undecided on whether I wanted to even drink it or not.
While I sat on the side of the sofa like a careless child, he stood up and was indecisive with whether he wanted to keep pacing left and right in front of the ashy fireplace or standing still for several moments. The only thing he had remotely figured out was that he kept staring blankly at me.
"Well, are you actually going to say something?" I say, raising an eyebrow to his annoying silence. Perhaps it was better than his mouth running a continuous feed of lies but him talking meant the chance of not getting on his suspicious side.
"Son, I want you to move back in. Immediately."
"Not happening." I snap.
He simply sighs at my quick decline. "The least you can do is think about it, don't be so against the idea. If you move back in, we can make small progress and try and build back our father, son dynamic again."
"I don't think so." I declined so fast. "I have a wonderful new home now and a chance at a brand new future. I will not get that here." I say, trying to keep back the triumphant smile. My new life was perfect right now, even with the drastic changes and a few potholes which were going to be soon filled and straightened out.
"Why couldn't you get that here?"
I confidently say: "I've been blinded." Looking him dead in the eye, no hesitation, not even a single vein in my neck out of place. "Blinded by what only you want me to see."
"That's not true in the slightest. Don't be ridiculous."
"Am I being ridiculous? I always dreamt of being the owner of the company because nothing else was passed down. Nothing was ever presented because it had to go through you first. I missed opportunities, experiences that would have benefited my business skills, even knowledge that could have made me a more responsible businessman. I'm finally on track of betterment, something I would have never got here."
"You can still do that here, I promise."
"I wouldn't want to exchange my new life for anything now."
His jaw clenches slightly, he didn't like that answer in the slightest. "Don't be so naive, Justin. You don't know what's ahead of you right now, you are still so young and unaware of things even when they slap you in the face. You had a wonderful home here, you can always have again and Jazzy misses you too. You really want to stay away from her?"
I bit my tongue in order to keep some kind of sane reaction from him using the Jazzy card. I didn't want to explode at him. I had a generous sip of the alcoholic beverage in my hand, the refreshing feeling lowered my nerves. "And I miss her a lot but I can arrange a time for her whenever she wants when she isn't at school. I don't need to be living under your roof to do so. You can keep bringing up all sorts of bullshit excuses and reasons to the table but you aren't going to change my mind."
His entire exterior falls completely. That hope he held onto within his golden iris' were now hiding behind his enlarged pupils caused by his alcohol binge. The low lighting made his under eyes appear to be full of bags and dark, again it was probably from the mix of alcohol and inability to sleep. I hope the guilt kept him up at night if he was human enough to feel such raw emotion.
Just as I thought we would enter than uncomfortable silence again, his face twists slowly. A sinister smile followed by an evil scoff was directed at me. The glass in his hand hit against the nearest wooden surface and I swear if it was done any harder the glass would have smashed everywhere.
"It's her isn't it?" He points at me weirdly, finger trembling in the air. He looks like he has lost the reigns to his control. His voice didn't scare me though, but a few hairs stood on its end. I don't think I had ever seen him like this, rattled up and ready to boil over completely.
"Leave Selena out of this," I mutter coldly.
"She's turned you against me, hasn't she?"
"Let's not get anything twisted here father, you did that yourself when you became a conniving bastard towards her over a decade old grudge," I tried my best not to give a seeable reaction, though the chemicals in the body would not be able to control that if he carried on for much longer. Just him referencing her in any format made my blood boil.
"I fucking told you why I did and I had to do, revenge is a perfectly valid reason to cross the line sometimes. You have to look out for yourself even at the cost of hurting others. She was a small price to pay." His eyes glance towards the bar, mentally calling out for the whiskey that wasn't in his reach as of the moment.
"And that makes everything okay? Does that resolve the problem in the first place? You are out of your fucking mind if you thought that." I strained myself from shouting for Jazzy's sake. I didn't want her to hear any of the commotions we were causing.
"All I care about right now is my family, my real family and making amends so we can go back to normal again. Why are you willing to throw that simple request away? I am still your father and no amount of denial from you will change that. You are still my flesh and blood, Justin."
"Blood doesn't mean shit." I lunge forward slightly, nearly spilling the contents of my glass from how much force I let in. "Genetics mean shit too. Family isn't these invisible bonds, it's more than that and frankly, the only thing that ties us together is the shared DNA in my veins and Jazzy. That is it."
I felt my trouser pockets vibrating faintly and I decide to check on it, avoiding the expression he was about to share with me. I slide open the text from Selena.
I got it. I'll meet you back at home babe x
With a heartfelt smile, I thanked God above that my cue to leave was here.
I rested the rest of the whiskey and the glass on the coffee table on one of the coasters, straightening my suit out after so I looked perfectly presentable again.
"As much as I have hated this talk, I better get going. I have things to do."
"Fine," Father says saddened. He probably wasn't but I wasn't falling for any guilt trip he was planning. "Have a safe journey home."
I don't even smile, I don't even give a visible sign of kindness as I open the double doors and ready to leave the house.
I could hear Jazzy's loud television blaring from her bedroom so I didn't want to disturb her. I just follow the feeling of freedom back to my car.
I only look back once at the house once entering my car and the tiny figure of my father was just standing there, watching me leave. I stared at the figure that wouldn't budge even a second before igniting the engine.
One final look as he waves in a serene pace and I just concentrate on the drive back home.
Now we had what we needed, the goal was to take that son of a bitch down.