"Honey, he might not be your boyfriend but I think he's into you,"
A R I A
I always liked to think that I knew what I was doing.
I was someone who thought things out until I formed a solution, all risks and faults eradicated so that I could work things out smoothly to get what I wanted without any problems.
Most of the time all my answers formed to be something violent and left me with the blood of someone else on my hands, however with the way that I had been brought up in the world I was involved in, it always seemed like the only option.
It was why I was suddenly feeling irritated as I walked past the patio doors and towards the balcony further down the garden, the early morning sun creating a warm glow to blanket the scenery of the garden that was green grass and white stone
My bare feet padded against the white stone paving that led to the balcony which overlooked the pool and the land that my grandfather owned around the property, a steaming mug of hot coffee held between my hands as I shivered and wondered if wearing a silk robe was a great idea in the slightly cold temperature outside.
"Probably not," I muttered to myself when I looked down and saw my nipples poking through the thin rose gold fabric, the material that was lined in the same colour lace tickling the tops of my thighs just as I stopped and leaned against the white stone balcony to see Lucien swimming.
He was doing lengths, exercising the same path back and forth for what seemed to be a number of minutes since I'd seen him from my bedroom balcony the moment I'd woken up thirty minutes ago.
I wondered why he was up so early considering it was five twenty in the morning and the past few days had been hectic since we'd been attacked at the hotel three days ago, the tenseness in his shoulders seen as his back muscles flexed when he continued swimming back and forth.
Despite the way that I could physically see Lucien's anger it didn't stop me from humming satisfyingly, my eyes on his arms and back as the water dipped around him, creating a soft hushing sound of moving water as it overflowed the sides and filtered through the grates in the ground.
He didn't know I was watching as I did so whilst drinking my coffee, my body leaning across the stone as I kept my fingers warm with the heat coming from my drink and tilted my head.
Lucien was a sight to see all tanned, inked and now wet. It was clear that he definitely took pride in his appearance as he kept swimming without getting tired, his stamina something that I personally knew I couldn't keep up with since he had exhibited it easily on the jet.
At the thought my toes curled, a sudden explosive heat burning between my legs when I recalled the memory that had left me breathing heavily, tangled between thin satin sheets all whilst being thirty thousand feet in the air.
Gesù Cristo.
My hand came up to touch across the side of my neck as I rubbed my lips together and pressed my thighs together, my mouth suddenly feeling dry when images of us in the jet changed to us in my grandfather's car, the thought of what happened in it rather than to it being my focus as I inhaled a wavered breath.
I breathed it out easily as I traced the line of my lower lip and felt the heat creep up around my face, my chest suddenly warming when I stared at Lucien for a little too long and wondered about what had happened in the past week.
I would've liked to think that my thoughts were surrounding the issue at hand concerning Jeremy's attack, yet it seemed I was only lying to myself since I was thinking more about his son than anything else.
The dynamic between Lucien and I had changed and I didn't know what to think of it despite the way my body felt like it was set alight whenever he was within five feet of me. It was clear we had séxual tension that seemed to be just as fiery as before we'd fücked each other, the pull between us something that I couldn't quite keep up with considering the pulse that would always start between my legs when I thought too much about the séx.
The mind blowing séx.
I would've put my constant repetitive thinking that surrounded him down to that, however as the days went by and more time was spent with him I knew that I was only using the séx as an excuse and supressing what I was really feeling.
My chest warmed again at the thought and my stomach turned, new emotions rising and bubbling to the top of my exterior until I found myself leaning against the stone harder as if it was able to supress the twist within me.
I had experienced the same emotions once before, only they had flourished into a three year relationship that had wrecked me from the inside out and left me better for a dead until I'd been given an intervention by my grandfather.
A strong man can handle a strong woman, a weak one will say that she has an attitude, were words that my grandfather had drilled into my head when he'd found me sitting in my bathroom after not eating for a two days, his concerned and worried eyes something that I never wanted to relive as I pushed away the thought of Ryder and what he'd done to me.
The notion was much easier than it was supposed to be when I turned to look back at Lucien who was now standing outside of the pool and running his hands through his wet hair, the distant memory of stinging eyes and a broken heart fading away steadily when Lucien made eye contact with me.
My toes curled into the stone beneath me again as I brought my mug up to my lips and looked at him when he realised I was there, his raised eyebrow making me tilt my head as I swallowed the sugarless coffee and licked my lips.
He was wearing black swimming trunks that were heavy and clung to his legs with the water that was soaked into them, my eyes settling on his hands when he bluntly readjusted himself and then scratched at his chest whilst still looking at me from the lower level he was on.
It was like my eyes were magnetised to wherever he touched himself as I swallowed a mouthful of nothing when I soaked in the visual that was his inked body, my previous thoughts vanishing into thin air when I admired him from afar. He had a few tattoos across his legs whilst his upper body was saturated in them, his tan skin courtesy of the Sicilian sun covered by the ink that only stopped at the upper joint of his fingers where he had hell bent tattooed across his knuckles.
Mhm.
I watched his hands as he walked towards one of the deck chairs, the sudden realisation that he was here and staying in what I called my home making me breathe in a light breath that I exhaled a few seconds later.
I kept myself easily distracted with the curve of his muscles and the slight envy I had towards his fingers that rubbed against the back of his neck, a slight shiver electrifying my spine as my nipples tightened when I continued gawking silently at him.
I did so without any regrets, only realising when he was standing with his back towards me that I was doing so for a little longer than I should have since he was now on his phone and typing across the screen. He had a scowl on his face whilst he clenched his jaw and muttered something under his breath, the sight of him doing so making me inhale a breath again before I put my moment of infatuation down to the fact that I hadn't seen him properly since the attack Joe had targeted us with.
It seemed that the hours that passed right after the incident were a blur that formed a montage of images that were the police station, fingerprints, my worried grandfather and Lucien pissed off at the connection Joe had to his father's attack.
It had only created a palpable tension to encase Lucien wherever he walked, his presence in the room a lot more powerful than before considering the blunt poker face that he usually had was now turned into a scowl just like he was exhibiting now.
"You're staring," Lucien suddenly said, his voice hushed slightly with the distance between us as I blinked out of my thoughts and looked at him. He was standing in the same place, only now his phone was on the deck chair and his body was facing me in all its deeply muscled glory.
Yummy.
"I was thinking," I replied to him, raising my voice so that he could still hear me even though I knew he could since we were the only ones talking in the pin drop silence that encased the property.
"You thinking is never good," he said, the subtle teasing in his tone making me press my tongue to the inside of my cheek as he raised his eyebrow again and watched me roll my eyes whilst finishing the rest of my coffee.
It was odd seeing him so carefree for the split second moment that he was before he went quiet, the past couple of days only seeming to be a blur of scowls, angry shouts and business that left Lucien's hands bloody every time he returned back to the Moretti estate late at night.
I would've questioned it but knew that Lucien had a temper of a raging bull when he wanted to, and right now was a sensitive moment where even I knew I had to take a step back before I found myself entangled in a personal ordeal that wasn't mine to mess with in the first place.
At the thought I supressed the warmth in my chest and watched Lucien pick up his phone, his feet creating wet footprints as he walked up the stair case on my right until he was a few steps away from me and running his hands through his hair.
"Where's your grandfather?" he asked me as I turned, his eyes moving from my face as I watched him with a smug half smile when his vision trailed down the bare skin of my legs before it bounced back up to my face.
"He left late last night to go visit my uncle, he'll be back tomorrow afternoon," I said to him, watching him nod once before he gazed at me for a few seconds and then cleared his throat behind his hand.
"Do you have plans today?"
"I'm on lockdown at the moment, so no," I said to him, reminding him of the demand I was to abide to courtesy of my grandfather after the attack at the hotel.
He was worried that I now had a bigger price on my head than before and had instructed me that I was to stay on the premises until he saw fit, the respect and trust I had for my him being the only reason I hadn't rebelled against what he wanted despite how much I hated being at home all the time.
"Ok," Lucien said to me simply, suddenly ogling my legs when the cold breeze made the lace edges of my robe pull up a little.
I let him stare as I stepped past him and walked back into the house since I was starting to get cold, the temperature in Sicily now taking a while to reach a comfortable heat in the morning considering it was coming up to the end of the second week of October.
The thought had me making a mental note to rotate my clothing for the change in season before it prompted an impulsive list, my tasks for the day organised in my mind just as I blinked out of my daze when I felt the heated stare of Lucien bouncing off of the back of me.
It made goose bumps arise over my skin when I looked over my shoulder to see him standing in the same place, water droplets forming a shallow puddle at his feet as he blinked and then narrowed his eyes at me when I did so in his direction.
He challenged my stare easily, the heat in his eyes being the only reason I turned around to look away as I bit the inside of my lip and ignored the pull in my chest. It left me pressing my nails into my palms as my feet padded against the marble tiles lining the floor of the living room, my journey to the kitchen taking less than a minute as I preoccupied my mind with the thought of what I wanted to make for breakfast.
I was craving something sugary and fattening despite my normal diet being made up of low calorie meals that barely filled the plate, a hum leaving my lips when I suddenly thought of waffles and wondered if we had the ingredients to make them.
When I realised we had I measured them all out and pulled out the waffle iron, my hands quick to make the batter as I opened the fridge to put the milk away and then did a double take when I saw the pack of bacon.
The sight of it made my stomach rumble as I cursed at the overwhelming thought of adding them to my waffles, my mind making a quick excuse that the fatty craving was due to the influx of hormones that were coming from the on start of my period.
It wasn't an entire lie when I took a quick look at my phone and realised the dates added up, my body more at ease with the thought as I chopped up a few cubes of bacon and added it to the waffle batter before making them.
At the same time they were cooking I fried the whole pieces of bacon and waited for the timer to go off for the waffles, the smell of everything cooking intoxicating the air around me as I dipped a spoon into a jar of peanut butter and placed it into my mouth whilst flipping the bacon.
I was in my food heaven just as the timer went off and another few minutes passed before I plated up my breakfast, the sight of maple syrup drizzled over the larger bacon pieces suddenly making my mouth water just as the thought of Lucien popped up into my head.
My shoulders slumped as I wondered whether he wanted breakfast, my tongue licking excess peanut butter off of my lips as I stood silently for a moment and thought about whether I should've asked him or not.
I didn't want to look to desperate or too concerned considering it would've been so out of the blue, my mind deciding on not asking him until fate slapped me in the face when I watched Lucien walk through to the kitchen, freshly dressed in light grey slacks and a white dress shirt that was unbuttoned at the top.
The breath in my throat caught slightly when he fiddled with his cufflinks before looking at me, the blank look on his face something that had been repeated over the past few days just as he glanced to my plate of food and then back up at me.
There was a moment of slight tension between us as I looked back down to my food and then up at him, the ghost of a smile passing over his lips making me look away before a few seconds passed and I found myself picking up my plate and moving it towards him over the counter.
"Since when do you eat such fattening food?" he asked before thanking me quietly, his fingers grasping the fork I handed him as I turned to make another plate of food with the leftover batter I'd made.
"I was craving it," I said to him simply as I closed the waffle iron with my back towards him, my hands quick to clean everything from the counters before I suddenly tensed when I heard him groan from behind me, my body turning stiffly to see him chewing a mouthful.
"You should cook more often," he told me, pointing his fork in my direction before he looked down at his plate again and stuffed a piece of bacon into his mouth, the carb and meat filled plate practically half finished in a matter of seconds.
Typical Italian man.
The thought made me roll my eyes lightly before I leaned against the counter on the opposite side, my hands balancing my weight as I gazed at him until my waffle timer chimed out loud once again.
I knew he had noticed me staring but I didn't care, my mind more focused on my food at the moment as I plated it and then turned to sit next to him before I cringed, an irritable frown settling on my lips when I heard the deafening scratch of Lucien's fork scraping against his now empty plate.
"What?" he asked me when I made a small irritated noise, his eyebrows furrowing as I walked around and sat on the barstool that was next to him before I realised I had forgotten my fork.
I made a slight huffing sound when I went to turn to get one until Lucien put his out for me, my eyes on his fingers until I looked at him and the teasing glint in his eyes.
"You've had more than my saliva in your mouth, I'm sure you'll cope," he said bluntly, his words making me press my tongue to the inside of my cheek as I pulled the fork away from him only to realise that he was holding it tightly.
"Are you going to give it to me or what?" I asked him, challenging his stare with my own as he moved forwards, still holding the fork tightly in his hands.
"Are you going to say thank you?"
I registered the smirk on his face and tilted my head, gripping the fork tighter between my hands as I spoke whilst my stomach rumbled.
"Do I need to?" I asked him simply, raising my eyebrow when a smug smile ghosted over my lips and vanished just as quickly as it came, Lucien's eyes darting across my face just as we held eye contact until he let go of the fork with a hum. I rolled my eyes at his behaviour despite the way my heart was hammering in my chest from the proximity between us, the heat between my legs suddenly starting up again when he leaned over the counter and typed on his phone next to me.
With the height of the chair I was on and the way that he was standing, his hip pressed against my knees and left me bouncing my own body heat off of his that was radiating through his shirt. It made me slightly fidgety and only left me to realise that he was always hot whenever I was near him, his body temperature continuously warm no matter where we were or what we were doing.
He was like a walking heater and normally I wouldn't have complained, however my body like it was on fire, the burning that started in the center of my body and radiated outwards only leaving me to swallow my forkful harshly before I attempted to distract myself by texting Aaron a picture of my food.
He read my message instantly considering the time in New York was coming up to midnight, the three bubbles on his side of the screen popping up as I ate and waited for him to respond.
He did so within seconds, his message making me bite back an irritable smile when I read it in my head again.
From: AC aka Bae (received 5:56am)
Is that Lucien's elbow I can see in the corner?
I glared at the thinking emoji he spammed at the end before he sent a picture that was a zoomed in corner of the one I'd sent, Lucien's elbow that was against the counter and in the background making me put down my fork as I typed back a quick response.
To: AC aka Bae (sent 5:57am)
Fück you
I added a knife emoji at the end before sending the message that was read instantly, the flood of laughing emoji's that appeared on my screen making me roll my eyes just as Aaron typed another message that had me choking.
From: AC aka Bae (received 5:57am)
I'm guessing Lucien's díck game is A1 since that comeback was pathetic
"Fücking ásshole," I whispered under my breath with a smile on my face as I typed whilst feeling full already, my hand shoving my plate away before I sat back in my seat and typed a reply.
To: AC aka Bae (sent 5:58am)
I hope you accidently use teeth the next time you suck someone's díck
I added a bunch of kissy face emoji's just to sweeten up my sass, my finger pressing the send button as I looked up to see Lucien side eyeing my plate that I'd left with three quarters of a waffle on it.
"You can eat it," I said to him, seeing him look over his shoulder since he was still leaning over the counter. He didn't say anything in response to my raised eyebrow before he took the plate and started eating again, my eyes on his mouth as my heartbeat picked up again when he moved against my knee and leaned on his left hip so that he was facing me.
"You don't want anymore?" he asked me despite already eating, his eyes squinting when I shook my head just as my phone vibrated.
It wasn't a message from Aaron who I could still see typing but an email notification from the realtor I'd hired back in New York. The subject read an address in capital letters that wasn't too far from Lucien's new house, my eyebrows furrowing as I opened up the email, scanned over the words and then pressed the attached pictures that James had sent to me.
There were nine in total, all showing an empty penthouse that was on two levels and encased everything that I wanted all in one.
"You're moving?"
I turned to Lucien who was looking over my phone, a frown on his face when he looked over the email before meeting my eye contact when I locked my phone.
"I need to," was all I said to him, cutting him off of any other information as I pushed my chair away and stood up when my phone started ringing. My grandfather's name popped up on the screen before I answered it whilst walking out of the kitchen, my feet padding across the floor as he asked how I was and if everything was okay.
I reassured him continuously through the half an hour phone call that soon faltered into a disappointed lecture pinned on me, the time soon ticking by seven in the morning when I emerged from the shower and stood in my closet with one towel wrapped around my body and another wrapped in a turban around my head.
I felt fresh considering the twenty minute impromptu yoga session I just had in my room, the tension in my muscles only having been emphasised by my grandfather who had scolded me for talking back to him when I'd gone out of my way to explain to him why I had done what I had with Joseph Vallaro.
My grandfather was fiercely protective of me and the thought of disappointing him made me feel ill, which was why I had gone out of my way to expel my frustration the only way I knew how to since I was on lockdown.
Yoga had helped me calm myself down to a point where I was a lot better than I used to be, the distant memory of me being rebellious only making me hate myself for a split second as I picked out an outfit and got ready for the day.
It took me an hour to do everything as I stared at myself in the mirror and ran my hand through my now wavy dry hair, the other holding onto the red tube of lipstick that was a statement piece in my look but seemed to be something that I didn't want to put on with the mood that I was in.
I was feeling strange from the situation my grandfather had left me in and it had me opting for a lighter pink shade instead, the colour something that I didn't wear often which had me frowning in the reflection as I adjusted the waist of the pants I had on and sprayed my pressure points with perfume.
The smell intoxicated the air around me as I picked up my cross pendant necklace that was in gold, my fingers quick to clip it behind my neck before I added some simple diamond stud earrings and walked out the door with my phone in my hand.
I gripped it tightly as my heels clicked against the floor and helped with my height considering the length of the pants I was wearing, my head titling down to look at my feet that I could barely see under the material before I breathed out a light breath and looked up when I heard footsteps.
The main two housekeepers—Martha and Lucas—walked past me with a smile on their face, the action only mimicked in a feigned way as I made my way downstairs and walked into the living room only to find Lucien on the phone.
He was scowling as he snapped in Italian, his head turning at the sound of my heels before I watched his eyes steadily narrow at what I was wearing. His reaction was enough to alleviate the ugly ache in my chest from the temporary fall out with my grandfather, his eyebrows furrowed as he glared at the velvet of my pants and made a quiet huffing noise.
It wasn't news to me that Lucien didn't like it when my legs weren't on show.
I'd noticed a while back when I'd first introduced him to Aaron as well as a few days ago when we were leaving the bar, the glare that he pinned on my legs and the tension in his face only entertaining me as he went back to talking on the phone whilst I took a seat on the sofa.
"Fücking hell," I muttered sharply when the coldness of the white leather made me cringe as it hit my bare arms, a shiver electrifying my spine before I kicked off my heels and bent my legs underneath me until I was secure in the left corner of the sofa.
I stayed like that and stared around the room I was in whilst Lucien threatened someone over the phone in Italian, his harsh words that said that he was going to rip someone's tongue out and make them swallow it suddenly making me sigh in an infatuated drawl.
My chest deflated as I looked at him and hummed pleasingly, my hands settling between my legs when I figured out that just as I'd noticed that he didn't like it when I covered my legs, I'd also noticed how incredibly hot he was when he was angry and pissed off.
Maybe it was the way that he'd glare at everything in sight or the sharp words of his wicked tongue that got me going, but either way I couldn't help but let my mind wonder to the concept of letting him fück me when he was in the state that he was.
Good lord, I thought when the image entered my mind and left me wanting to suddenly jump him.
His muscles all tensed at once and left him riled up to the point where I could feel the tension in the room, his eyes dark with his anger when he told whoever was on the phone that he wanted the money in the next hour otherwise he was going to pay his sister Jess a visit.
Who the fu-
With a scoff he hung up the phone whilst a burst of anger struck me in the chest. The name of another woman leaving his lips whilst I thought of him fücking me soon morphed the image in my head to him fücking someone else, the visual enough to awaken the monster that was in my blood. I hated to call myself jealous but it seemed that I was when I went back to being frustrated and ignored the call of my name from Lucien that followed seconds later, my mind enjoying the way that I put a face to the woman and then watched it showcase pain when I used my favourite method of physical torture.
Mutilation.
"Aria," Lucien said a little louder, my distant hum leaving me to look like I was in a daydream as I looked at him blankly and wondered what he wanted.
"What?"
He raised his eyebrow at the attitude in my tone but I didn't do anything to reassure him, my mood now sour as he told me that he was leaving to get a job done and I was supposed to stay put.
"I'm not going anywhere," I said to him, pulling my phone out in front of me as he did nothing but burn holes into the side of my face with his stare before walking out the room.
I glared at him then, my chest burning with envy as I told him to go fück himself under my breath until my eyes widened when he turned and raised his eyebrow.
"If you have something to say then speak your mind out loud, Aria," he said to me, stopping between the threshold as I grit my teeth and swallowed.
"I don't know what you're on about," I said to him, his eyes squinting in my direction as he leaned across the wall and stared at me with crossed arms.
"You told me to go fück myself," he said, repeating the words that had been barely audible to my own ears. "What did I do?"
"What are you? A fücking superhuman who can hear from a mile away?" I asked him whilst swerving his question, pissed at the smug look that was suddenly on his face as silence ensued between us for a few seconds until he was speaking.
"All I did was threaten a guy to cough up the money he owes otherwise I'd pay his sister a visit," he said to me, confusion lacing the narrow of his eyes before his features softened and a look of realisation set across his face.
"Don't even think-"
"Are you jealous?" he cut across before I could even warn him, his quick thinking courtesy of his mind making me stare at him in slight awe for a moment before I went back to glaring.
"I'm not jealous," I told him, rolling my eyes to sell my words more despite the way I felt.
"Wasn't that the same thing I said to you when you were convinced that I was jealous of Paolo?"
"That's because you were courtesy of the crush you have on me," I said defiantly.
"So does that mean that you have a crush on me then?"
"I-" I started, my mouth open as I found it hard to find words to his quick comeback. I fücking loathed the sudden smirk on his face and the way that he chuckled lowly, but it seemed that I hated myself more when I felt the heat rise to my face and fan my neck.
"Are you blushing?" Lucien asked me when I kept glaring at him heatedly, my decision to not say anything only going down the drain as I realised that Lucien was catching onto the way I worked when he spoke words that only had me retaliating quickly. "Does that mean Aria Moretti has feelings for me?"
"Fück yourself."
"That's what I have you for," he said teasingly, a gasp leaving my lips as I instantly got up from the sofa and grabbed one of my heels before throwing it across the room at him.
"Oh Dio, sei uno stronzo!" I shouted after him, hearing the rasp of his chuckle echo from the corridor where he vanished into as I sat back on the sofa and huffed as I pushed pieces of hair out of my face.
My heartbeat was slamming erratically in my chest as I made a hmph noise and sat back in the corner of the sofa, the frown on my face suddenly turning into a small smile when I recalled what had just happened before I scowled again.
I knew how Lucien was and that only meant that he was going to tease me just like I had done with him, the thought making me sigh as I got up and retrieved the heel that I'd thrown on the floor whilst holding the ends of my pants that were way too fücking long.
"Jesus Christ," I muttered whilst I leaned down to grab the white stiletto only for two polished shoes to enter my vision, my eyes looking up as I returned to my full height and glared at Lucien who was looking down at me.
"If it helps, I hate you when you wear things that cover your legs," he said, his words random and completely out of context as my stomach twisted when he maintained eye contact.
"That has nothing to do with what just happened," I said to him.
"Doesn't mean that I can't tell you," he told me, his words making me roll my eyes as I turned and walked back towards the sofa just as the front doors were opened.
Lucien and I both turned, his body blocking my view with whoever was entering the mansion until a smile curved at my lips when I heard the tell-tale sound of Louis Asaro.
"Aria, honey!" he said as he pushed past Lucien who had a puzzled look on his face, Louis's arms held open and wide as he jogged lightly towards me and encased me in a hug. "I haven't seen you in so long, God you get more beautiful every single time."
"You flatter me," I rolled my eyes as I kissed his cheek and smiled at him when he waved me away and then turned, just in time for a flood of people to enter my grandfather's home with piles of my favourite looking box.
Christian Louboutin.
"Your grandfather called me and told me that you were upset," Louis started as one man walked in with a full length mirror, my eyes set on him as he placed it near the open patio doors before I looked to Lucien who still looked confused.
"He did this?" I asked rhetorically, feeling better about the fallout we had as I excused myself from Louis and called my grandfather to thank him.
He'd only responded with the fact that he was only worried for me and wanted me to be kept safe, the soft tone that was only used with me making me pout as he told me to enjoy what he'd organised since I wasn't allowed to go out.
It only left me with a spring in my step when I returned back to the living room to see Louis orchestrating the organisation of the boxes, the tall quiff of his silver hair bouncing as he straightened the racks of clothing that were also in the room.
The sight of him made being at home feel a lot more familiar considering he had been my right hand man for fashion since I was fifteen, his tasteful handpicked pieces only leaving me to trust him as he stood with a yellow measuring tape over the right shoulder of his bright purple blazer.
"Ah, there you are!" he smiled when he saw me, my bare feet padding across the ground as I walked up to him and didn't miss the way Lucien was now sitting on the sofa where I had been previously.
He was in the middle, his legs open as he lazily sat with his arms outstretched to the material he was leaning on. He had a blank look on his face as Louis told me to step in front of the mirror to take my measurements, my eyes looking at Lucien through the reflection as he glared when Louis pushed the hem of my pants a little lower to take the measurement of my waist.
"Are you eating, honey?" Louis suddenly asked as I took my eyes away from Lucien to look at Louis through the mirror. "You've lost an inch around your waist since I last saw you before you left for New York."
"I am eating," I said to him, his concerned eyes making me swallow dryly as he dropped the subject and brought over some shoes towards me.
At the sight of the matt blue stilettos I grew giddy, my weakness for heels showing on my face when I bit my lip to stop the itchy grin on my face whilst taking them from Louis and placing them on my feet.
As I looked in the mirror and pulled up the material of my pants to see my feet Louis moved closer, his hands on my waist as he spoke slyly in my ear whilst tip toeing since he was shorter than me by a few inches.
"Are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?" he teased, my eyes moving to see Lucien with an angry frown on his face that was directed in Louis's way.
"He's not my boyfriend, Louis," I smiled lightly, the thought plaguing my mind for a split second before Louis's interested hum brought me out of my thoughts. "He's also not gay."
"I can only dream to have a man who looks like that be into me," Louis gushed, his words loud enough for Lucien to hear when his features moulded to showcase his confusion again.
Sigh.
He stayed like that, sitting on the sofa despite the way he'd told me that he was supposed to leave as Louis kept showcasing heels to me, my love for them only making my cheeks hurt when I smiled too much at the sight of them all.
I was at pair number fifteen when Louis told me to start trying on clothes, the sudden untying that my fingers were doing to the bow of my pants making Lucien lean forward sharply as he spoke.
"Wait, what?" he asked, Louis turning to Lucien as I looked at him through the reflection of the mirror. "You're just going to undress in front of him?"
"Honey, he might not be your boyfriend but I think he's into you," Louis mumbled as he walked past me, winking in the reflection of the mirror as I turned to Lucien and met his heated glare.
"Louis has seen me in my underwear-"
"Have you guys fücked?"
"Oh, he's definitely into you," Louis whispered as he walked past me again to retrieve the skirt that he wanted me to try on, Lucien's eyes still following Louis with a trained aim that I knew was accompanied in his head with a fictional gun shot.
At his words and reaction I couldn't help but enjoy the way he was jealous, my teeth latching across my bottom lip as I shook my head and heard him snort as he sat back to be leaning across the sofa.
"Is it because you have a crush on me?" I teased him with my words, knowing he knew what I was getting at which only left him pressing his tongue to the inside of his cheek as I undid my pants, letting the material drop to the floor before I stepped out of them.
Lucien didn't say anything in response to my words as I turned to the mirror and moved my fingers to straighten the hem of the light pink panties I was wearing, the red of my nails contrasting against the tan of my skin as I fiddled with the lace and stepped into the skirt Louis had given me.
Whilst I did I wasn't surprised when I heard Lucien take a sharp intake of breath when I bent down, my fingers pulling up the material that was tight around my waist as I closed the open gold zip and smoothed my hands down the olive green velvet.
"This would look great with a high neck top, maybe with long sleeves or none at all," Louis said to me, adjusting the fit for me in the mirror as he used pins to hold the material in place. "If you go for long sleeves, I suggest going for a black coloured boot that's probably matt...something like this."
He showcased the ankle boots from Christian Louboutin, the red sole pleasing me right down to the soul as I placed them on and then changed into the top that he'd given to me.
"You should pair this with that long trench coat you have," he said to me, telling me to turn which I did so easily until I was facing Lucien who was staring at me.
We made eye contact as he blinked blankly, a smile ghosting over my lips as he smoothed the fingers of one hand over his cheeks before he cleared his throat and straightened his posture.
There was something about his unnecessary jealousy that had a warmth starting in the pit of my stomach, the pull in my chest making me swallow as Lucien stared at me unapologetically whilst staying in the same place the entire time Louis adjusted my outfit.
"Don't you have to be somewhere?" I asked Lucien, seeing the softness in his features tense again when he looked away from my legs and to my face. He simply shook his head which had me shaking my own lightly, Louis instructing me to turn again as he told me to look at what he had done before asking for my approval.
I gave it to him easily as he moved onto the next outfits he'd planned, an hour passing before Lucien eventually left whilst Louis and I carried on with our make do shopping spree.
"Is that Jeremy's son?" Louis questioned suddenly as he pinned the red dress I was in back so that it cinched in at my waist.
"He's the younger one," I said to Louis, rolling my eyes at the smug look he gave me from behind my shoulder.
"You're into him, aren't you?" he asked with a teasing tone.
"Something like that," I appeased him with my words, hearing him making a happy noise as he clapped his hands and grinned.
"Have you guys slept together? How many orgasms?"
"Louis!" I laughed shockingly at his blunt words, my heart suddenly aching when I realised how much I'd missed him.
He was like my Aaron here in Sicily minus all the tech knowledge.
"What? I have to know if he's treating you right after your last relationship. I don't want to see you go through another Ryder," he scolded lightly, telling me to turn to the side so he could see what he was doing in the light.
"We work well together," I started after a few seconds, hearing Louis hum to let me know that he was listening. "...and yes, we've slept together."
"Was he good?"
"Louis," I drawled out at his question, seeing him raise his eyebrow at me as he prompted my answer that made me sigh as heat bloomed between my legs. "Insanely good. I don't know how a man has stamina like that," I started, seeing Louis smirk at me as I breathed in a light breath when the familiar tension in my body made my toes curl. "I was ruined for two days."
"As much as it pleases me to know that you're getting it good, isn't sleeping with your bodyguard against some sort of working relationship rule or does it not work the same way in the mafia?"
"I doubt there's a rule," I rolled my eyes, knowing that there was definitely no such thing in the business world we were in as the pulsing between my legs started when I relived the memory of Lucien and I in the jet. "Even if there was, it was probably meant to be broken."
"Rebellious," Louis teased which made me smile as he pinned back the dress and then took a step back to look at me. "I hope it works out with you two though, he seems a lot better for you than Ryder was."
"How so?" I asked quietly, feeling slightly annoyed at the topic of Ryder again despite the way I wanted to know what Louis's opinion was.
"Lucien's presence demands just as much attention as yours when you enter a room," Louis started, his words making me bite the inside of my cheek as I pictured what he was saying in my mind. "Ryder was always so controlling over you, he wouldn't allow you to breathe let alone let me touch you the way I am despite knowing I was gay."
"But Lucien went off on one when you told me to undress..."
"There's a difference between a man who's completely insecure about how you feel for him, and a man who just wants to keep you safe because he wants you to himself," Louis said to me, his words making me swallow as I looked at my feet and back at my reflection where I met his gaze. "And you know which one Lucien is."
With his words I stayed silent, a light feathery feeling starting in my chest when I thought back to Lucien and the way he was. He was a lone wolf even though he prided himself on the loyalty of the people around him, his personality to date only being a result of what he'd been through over the years.
I guess we had common ground with the death of a parent and our lack of manners when it came to meeting new people, the both of us also having a knack for remembering details which only meant that we worked well together.
I sighed as I thought back to what had happened at the hotel and what we now needed to do, my mind overturning the loose plan that I had in my head before I made a mental note to tell Lucien about it before I did anything.
I wouldn't have done so normally but it seemed that my fondness for him was growing and I felt a need to let him know, the very thought only shedding a light and making me realise what I was feeling for him as the ache that was already in my chest tripled, my body and mind suddenly overwhelmed when I recalled what Louis had just said.
The very fact that I was developing feelings had me panicking for a moment, mumbled words to Louis passing my lips as I walked towards the patio door to get some fresh air. My head felt like it was on fire as I steadied my weight across the threshold that I had an iron grip on, Louis instructing someone to get me some water as I pushed away thoughts of my previous relationship and the damage it had done to me.
"Here, drink this," Louis spoke softly as he handed me the glass of chilled water, my hands grasping it tightly in my hands as I took a sip and let it cool my body that felt like it was on burning from the inside out.
I hated to say that I was desperate but I was when it came to not wanting to relive a relationship like the one that I had with Ryder. I knew it was a far off thought considering I was only on the very tip of the iceberg when it came to feelings for Lucien, but I knew it was a still a possibility...the concept only leaving me to feel slightly faint which had Louis panicking when I warned him quietly.
"Okay," he breathed out quickly as he threw the pins that he'd put in my dress to the floor, his hands quick to lead me to the sofa to sit down as he took the lid of a shoe box to fan me whilst coaxing me to drink some cold water. It helped with the sudden slap of anxiety that overwhelmed my body, a minute passing as I blinked into reality and cringed at the headache that pulsed at my temples.
"I'm sorry," I said in relation to my sudden meltdown only to hear Louis tut, his words that told me not to apologise echoing in my head as he said that we were done for the day and that I needed to relax. I didn't protest since I was suddenly in a deteriorating mood, my body still slumped on the sofa as he pouted at me and sighed before instructing his staff to clear everything up. It didn't take them long as I stayed in my dress and nibbled at the inside of my lower lip, my eyes watching as boxes were taken and the railing of clothes was wheeled out. "How much do I owe you?"
"Your grandfather has already taken care of it, honey," Louis reassured me as the mirror was taken away and all the shoes I'd liked were taken to my room. "I'll have all the clothes altered and sent to you once I'm done," Louis said as the last few boxes were taken away, my body standing from the sofa as I hugged him before he proceeded to leave.
He blew me a kiss as he left through the living room door once he'd told me not to worry about anything, his words echoing in my head as I stayed in the same place for a few minutes before I stood up and made my way to my room.
It didn't take me long as I repeated the conversation Louis and I had in my head, my tongue swiping across my lips as I suddenly grew irritable at the weakness I'd just shown courtesy of the mere thought of Ryder and the relationship we had.
My upper lip curled and I made a small scoffing noise as I shut my room door behind me with a slam, the rush of air that followed after me doing nothing for the heated anger that was suddenly invading my system.
I curled my fingers into my palm before walking over to my dresser, the gold tube of red lipstick that I'd decided against wearing this morning pulled out of the drawer I'd set it in before I sat down on the small stool and pulled out my favourite red lip liner.
I easily lined and filled in my lips with the rich red colour whilst staring at myself in the reflection of my mirror once I'd wiped away the ugly pink shade, the heat in my eyes not going unnoticed as I picked up my lipstick and twisted the bottom to reveal the smudged and worn in bullet.
The sight of it alleviated the ache in my chest as I applied it, my hands abnormally steady as I eyed the marks I was making with a trained gaze before I rubbed my lips together and hummed approvingly at myself.
"Much better," I muttered, recapping the lipstick and placing it back in the drawer before I fluffed my hair and stood up, feeling more like myself despite what had just happened.
It was replaying in my head and left a sour taste in my mouth, the very fact that I'd reacted because of an admittance of feelings only leaving me to glare at Lucien's face when it popped up into my head.
I didn't want fücking feelings and I sure as hell didn't want a repeat of anything I'd gone through.
"Lo odio..." I muttered under my breath as I walked into my closet, my words that repeated I hate him only leaving me to hum sharply when I realised that Lucien had a habit of speaking Italian when he was angry.
The thought was enough to piss me off but it seemed that the idea of me even remembering that pissed me off more, the burn in my chest overwhelming as I pushed my hands through the rack of dresses I had.
I knew I was trying to distract myself from what I was really feeling deep inside, the sudden annoyance I had at myself and now Lucien only leaving me to bite the inside of my cheek when I cursed at him for being the way he was.
I shouldn't have liked him. He did inexplicable things, had a sizable ego and also fücking worked for my father, yet the more I thought about it and realised that most of his habits only mimicked mine, I grew frustrated and let out a deep breath that made my head hurt.
After everything that had happened to me I was now going back on my vow to not let anyone work their way into my life like Ryder had, the sheer memory that was still so fücking vivid in my mind making me swallow as I unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor.
I was annoyed at myself for letting things happen the way that they had, my trust that I'd put in Lucien only blurring into what I was feeling now which left me staring blankly at my reflection as I changed my underwear into something that I knew would make me feel a little better.
The matching white lingerie that left little to the imagination hugged me in all the right places, my fingers smoothing over my stomach as I turned and adjusted the hem against the curve of my áss.
There was just something about little lace panties and a matching bra that made me feel a little more empowered, my red lips rubbing together as I ran my hands through my hair and tip toed whilst turning to see myself in the mirror again.
It was then as I looked at myself and traced my fingers over the bumps of scars that I reminded myself that I wasn't as innocent as I looked to be, the light in my eyes changing when I grew stiff at the sight of the scar that ran across the crease of my thigh.
My halo was full of fire and propped up by two devil horns, my own mistakes circling my mind and blurring past my vision as I walked over to the multitude of robes I had and picked out a white one that was high on my thighs and had gold pipping stitched into the hem.
It tied in the front with a lazy bow as I tried to ignore the overload of everything that my brain was trying to sort through, the concept seeming hard to decipher since I ended up subconsciously wondering why I had feelings for Lucien in the first place.
There wasn't a justifiable reason other than the fact that we'd had séx, my own words that teased that my püssy made people fall in love only slapping me right in the face and leaving me to glare when I wondered if I'd only jinxed myself in relation to Lucien's díck.
Surely I couldn't have started to like him in a matter of days, at least not to the point that my mind was persuading me to be?
"Fück," I muttered as I rubbed over my forehead and closed my eyes, an annoyance growing in my blood when I realised I wasn't getting anywhere by ignoring a situation I didn't want to be in, in the first place.
It only left me calling the one person who I knew would distract me, my fingers unlocking my phone as I selected the FaceTime option on Aaron's number and then checked the message that was sent from Jinx.
The dialling tone was a distant sound when I rolled my eyes in amusement at the video Jinx had sent me, the opening of his jacket as he walked showcasing Tofu tucked into his pocket and meowing quietly.
The sight of him only made me pout just as Aaron spoke out loud, my finger tapping the green tab at the top of my phone screen before he appeared and smiled at my reflection.
"You know...unless you're getting boned by Lucien, I expect you to answer to my texts," he said as his face moved out of the frame when he shuffled around, the ceiling of his bedroom shown on my screen before his phone stilled as I sighed at what he said.
"I wasn't getting boned by Lucien," I said to him, the tone in my voice making him return to the frame with a confused look on his face.
"What happened?"
"I think I like him," I said bluntly, my words only making me stare blankly at Aaron who was squinting at me.
"Like as in you like his díck, or like as in you like like him?"
His words only made me frown, my feet stepping towards the bed before I sat down and mushed myself against the multitude of pillows I always tended to keep.
"I don't know, I just..." I trailed off, moving my hair away from my face as I rested my hand comfortably so that he could see me.
"It's not a bad thing if you do, Aria," Aaron said to me, tilting his head as he scratched at his shirtless chest and cleared his throat. "He's clearly into you-"
"But I don't want him to be," I cut him off sharply, swallowing harshly before I groaned. "I don't want to like him, that's the thing. I don't want to have feelings, I don't want to fück things up with stupid emotions. I don't-"
"-want another Ryder," he finished off, raising his eyebrow at me when I fell into annoyed silence. He sighed after a few seconds, running a hand through his hair and staring at me when I blinked blankly and repeated his words in my head. "Don't do that defensive thing just because you don't want to feel something."
"I don't want to feel anything, that's the point Aaron," I said bluntly, picking at my nails as I turned over onto my stomach and leaned my phone onto the bed whilst rolling my eyes.
"See that's weird because this morning you were fine," he said, sending me a questioning look through the screen. "You weren't annoyed but now you are, what happened? Who do I have to fight?"
"Firstly, you don't need to fight anyone. Louis was only trying to-"
"Louis? As in Louis Asaro?" Aaron sneered, distaste curving at his lips. "Fück him."
"You don't need to be jealous, he's my friend and I was just-"
"No, I'm the best friend. You tell me things and I help you through them, not some stupid stylist that dresses you," he snapped, his reaction only leaving my lips to curve into an amused smirk. "Next time you see him, tell him that I'm going to fücking choke him with that measuring tape of his."
"That comment just made me realise that you spend too much time with me," I told him, hearing him tell me to fück off before a few seconds of silence was followed with him sighing.
"Ok, I had my moment of jealousy. Back to the real problem..."
"Lucien?" I asked casually.
"No, you," he bluntly spoke, my eyes squinting as I looked up to the camera from picking at my nails again. "You need to get a grip on something other than Lucien's díck-"
"Aaron!" my eyes widened.
"No, I'm serious," he said, moving around his room again as he looked at me when an irritable breath passed my lips. "So what if you have feelings for him? He's clearly into you and I'm sure he won't fück up like Ryder did, so what's the problem?"
"I..." I trailed off, finding it hard to come up with an answer since I didn't want to seem like I was in too deep.
"I..." he mocked me when I took too long to answer, aggravation suddenly returning in my blood when he rolled his eyes at me. "You need to realise that not every man is going to control the way that Ryder did," he started, pointing at me through the screen which only pissed me off further. "Yes, Lucien does some pretty fücked up stuff but you can't deny that you guys have chemistry...even more so with clothes on."
"You're annoying me," I said to him when he laughed at his own joke.
"You can't blame me considering he had you wiped out for a good two days," he said to me, reminding me of the ache that was suddenly beginning to be present between my legs. "Just like...look at it this way. You've already séx so you know he's good in that department, maybe you're just feeling stuff because of that."
"I got jealous today though," I said to him, rubbing my forehead as I grew annoyed at myself. "It was so unnecessary for me to get the way that I did, but it happened and now he knows that I have stupid fücking feelings for him."
"Hm," Aaron hummed lightly when he processed my words, my heartbeat echoing in my head as I heard footsteps pass my room in the corridor. "I don't want you to get mad at me, but I think you're just scared and scarred from Ryder and you're using it as an excuse to ignore your feelings for Lucien."
I swallowed, looking down to my fingers again as I let his words sink in.
"I know you're not one to share your feelings after what happened with him, but Lucien would never do that to you, let alone cheat."
I let out a humourless laugh under my breath when I remembered back to the way Ryder had proudly explained why he'd cheated on me, his words repeating like a broken record in my head as I looked up to my phone.
"How do I even..." I drawled out quietly, hating the way that I was beginning to open up again and the reopening of scars that adorned the emotion I didn't want to feel. It made the frown on my face turn into a light scowl, a sharp breath exhaled from my nose before I puffed out a disbelieving breath. "This is stupid. I'm literally moaning about feelings that I know won't develop into anything, forget a relationship."
"Aria, don't," Aaron said warningly when he realised that my defence mechanism was appearing. "Don't do that ugly shutting down thing you-"
"I'll speak to you later, okay," I cut him off before he could carry on, my finger pressing to the hang up button before I walked to my closet once I'd put my phone on airplane mode.
I twirled it between my fingers as I blanked out my mind from everything that I was feeling, my feet padding across the hard wood flooring that lined my closet floors before I kneeled once I'd reached the shoe rack.
I searched for the red ankle boots I had and loved, my fingers squishing inside the shoe until I retrieved the little sealed bag I wanted and stood up. It didn't take me long to gather everything I else I needed before I was lighting a blunt between my lips on my balcony, my robe tickling my skin with the breeze that blew past me as I leaned against the stone and overlooked the garden below.
Everything was in place and untouched as I blew smoke past my lips and enjoyed the haziness that creeped up on me slowly, my lips closing and opening over the blunt as I enjoyed the emptiness of my mind and the way the water at the surface of the pool rippled in the breeze.
I stared at it, blinking every so often before I watched the guards swap with another, the rota that changed their shifts only leaving me to realise that it was one in the afternoon.
The time only meant that lunch was probably on the table and left me to walk back into my room to lock the door so that I wouldn't be disturbed, my lack of appetite and social skills only deepening when I returned back to the balcony and kept smoking in silence.
I kept doing so until a few minutes passed and the doors to the balcony next to my own opened, my head not bothering to turn as I felt Lucien's stare burn holes into my body when I stayed standing where I was.
I knew he was expecting me to turn because it was what I'd been doing often, indirectly catering to his preferences that only fed his ego in the process.
It only made me lick my lips and swallow as I kept smoking and ignored him, the pull in my chest practically not felt as the smell of him wafted my way when he mocked my actions and leaned across his balcony, the only difference being that he was on the ledge that was closest to my own.
It left my senses to be heightened as I blinked and inhaled another mouthful of smoke that intoxicated my blood, the haziness I felt pleasing me as I blew smoke past my lips and traced the pattern of stone with the point of my nail.
I did so for a few minutes as I smoked out the rest of blunt, the high I was experiencing making the blankness in my mind easier to comprehend just as Lucien turned around when his bedroom door opened.
I knew Martha was telling him that lunch was ready because it was something that she always prepared at this time, her words that confirmed my suspicion only echoing in my head as Lucien told her in Italian that he'd be down in a few minutes.
I knew why he was doing what he was doing considering I'd turned slyly to see him, his dress shirt now unbuttoned a little more at the top and exposing the tattoos that lined the center of his chest.
I didn't want to stare but I found it hard to when my movements lagged with my high, our eyes suddenly meeting when I looked at his face and watched his features scrunch into confusion. He wanted to ask me something and I waited for it as I blankly blinked and pushed everything in my mind away, my fingers curling into my palms for a few seconds until he finally spoke.
"Are you okay?" he asked, his tone slightly reluctant as he raised his eyebrow when I nodded silently. "You sure..." I nodded again which made him squint, his head tilting a little before he pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek. "Is this a game or something? I don't know why you're mute."
I looked away then and hummed lightly under my breath, my body turning as I leaned against the stone and felt his stare burn into the side of my body again.
"Did Louis do something to you?" he asked and for a moment I was brought back to the harsh reality I was trying to forget, the sudden intake of breath I took in cooling my body as I turned to him.
"He didn't do anything," I said to him, his harsh glare softening with my words which only made me grit my teeth. I hated the way he was being and it only left me wanting him to say something stupid so I could validate my reasons to stop feeling what I was, but instead he stayed silent, in turn leaving me to speak. "I think you should take the consigliere job," I said to him simply, my words confusing him as he breathed out a humourless breath.
"Why?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed as irritation flared in his eyes at my words.
...because it'll mean that you're around me less, I thought in my head but didn't say.
"I think you'll suit it better," I simply said instead, my firm tone throwing him off when he scoffed.
"Where is all of this coming from?" he asked me, waiting a few seconds for a response that didn't happen as I kept staring ahead of me. I knew I should've replied but it was a background thought as I waited for the hurt I wanted to feel from his words, his mouth opening and closing for a few seconds until he shook his head lightly and spoke. "I don't understand."
"What is there to understand?" I furrowed my eyebrows, irritation smacking me right in the face when he went out of his way to climb over his own balcony so that he could stand in mine.
"Something happened to you and I want to know what it is," he said bluntly, taking a step towards me as I scoffed at his words, feigning my feelings which were much easier with the high I had.
"Why do you even care, Lucien?"
"I'm your security, anything that-"
"Is that the excuse that you're always going to use?" I questioned, blankly staring at him as he pressed his lips together and inhaled sharply through his nose.
Say something hurtful.
"I don't know what you're getting at," he said, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned across the ledge that was to the left of me. He stared at me then since I didn't reply to his words, the tension between us growing as I swallowed down bitter words. "Did I do something wrong?"
I rubbed my lips together, the soft tone he used only leaving me to close my eyes as I tilted my head and rubbed my fingers over my cheeks whilst frustration brewed wildly inside me.
"Aria," he prompted my answer.
"What?" I asked sharply, looking up at him as he narrowed his eyes at me.
"What is wrong with you?" he breathed out disbelievingly, his eyes darting across my face to work me out just as he took a few steps towards me, the pull between us only ignored as I breathed through my nose and felt his hand press to my back.
It was then when I turned away from his touch for the first time, his eyebrows furrowing at me in frustration as I took a step back and looked at him.
"What the fück did I do?" he said quietly.
"You...just leave, Lucien," I told him, proceeding to walk into my bedroom until I felt my wrist pulled back, jerking my body around so that I was seeing him again. "Get off of me."
"Not until you tell me what I've done wrong."
"Lucien, I'm serious," I spoke quietly, swallowing harshly as I looked at his hands that were circled around my wrist. "Let go of me before I do something I'll regret."
"What are you going to do? Stay silent and stare at me?" he bit out, glaring at me as he scoffed and let me go with a push of his hand. "I don't get you sometimes, Aria."
"Good," I muttered with a roll of my eyes as I walked back into my room only for him to follow me, his breathing slightly wavered as I kept my back towards him.
"Cristo, cazzo, you've seriously got some fücking issues," he said to me, his insult nothing I hadn't heard before. "I'm here trying to be nice and you're just being how you were when I met you which was-"
"A bítch?" I asked him when I turned around, looking at him expectedly as he scowled at me at my words that finished his sentence. "I haven't changed Lucien. Just because we slept together and I helped you with finding Joe, doesn't mean that I'm going to miraculously become accommodating and spew everything I think about to you."
At my words he paused and looked at me incredulously, a few moments passing as I ignored the hurt in my chest and narrowed my eyes at him, waiting for a response.
"You know," he started, running his hands through his hair as he shook his head lightly. "I'm not doing this with you."
"Nobody asked you too," I replied bluntly with a shrug of my shoulders, his half-hearted chuckle adding salt to my wounds when I unlocked my door and opened it whilst looking at him. "You can leave."
At my words he puffed out a breath through his nose and stared at me through narrowed eyes, his tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek before he shook his head again and walked.
I watched him as he did, ignoring the ache in my body when I stared at the back of his head. I knew he was frustrated with me and it left me feeling worse than I did before, however it seemed that he had plans to emphasise that when he turned, his eyes locking on mine before he opened his mouth and spoke words that made me slump.
"...and to think I even convinced myself that I had feelings for you."
*A/N*
Let's all cry because laria have had their first ever proper (kinda) figHt (:
Let's also cry because this chapter is making me squint so hard 😩
I legit had a cry about it today because I was hating how it turned out so I rewrote the last 4K words three times and I think I finally got it!
To summarise (because I think people might get confused) Aria's relationship with Ryder has legit scarred her so deep that she thinks that if things develop with Lucien the same thing will happen.
She shared a lot of things with Ryder and he threw them back in her face, so she kinda vowed to herself that she'd never let a guy do that again and it's why she's so private and hates getting personal.
Everything happened the way that it did because she knows that she's starting to like Lucien, but she had a moment where the words coming from somebody else's mouth made her realise things. Louis and her talking only freaked her out because she knows there's a chance (it's small rn) that her and lucien will get together. It makes her panic since she doesn't want to go through everything again like she did with Ryder (since she's already helping out lucien so personally with his dad's attack) so it's why she shut herself off completely when Aaron also reminded her that she's just scarred from Ryder and she needs to get a grip.
In real life context, it's basically if you were to like someone who you know you shouldn't, and so you try to pick apart faults even if it gets you hurt in the process.
I wrote this chapter the way I did because I want y'all to know that aria does emotions other than being a b!tch. She is the way she is because of what has happened in her life, and the same goes with lucien which is why they're such a good match but haven't realised properly!!!
Also sigh @ lucien at the end hurting his woman just as bad as she just hurt him
Like I said before, lucien will act out because he doesn't know what to do with his feelings (that's why he was ugly with Louis) but aria's reactions are more of a defence mechanism so yuh
My children are angry and upset with each other and they expell it the only the way they know which is hurting one another!
Sometimes I hate character development but it's needed soooooo yeah, hate me for now but love me for the next chapter (;
Anywho, this is turning into an essay. I love you all so much for all the feedback and the loving support & comments here and on twitter.
Can we try for 170 votes and 600 comments? Dksjdjsjs
Please comfort me with feedback, I still lowkey hate this chapter but ugh I wanted y'all to have an update
Let me know what you thought of it!
How do we like lucien's character so far? Anything to change?
How about aria and her feelings?
lucien's pov is next chapter because I lowkey like writing his better, so anything that he should think about?
Also, aria's thought process? How she dealt with things? (We all know she could've dealt with it better so please refrain from hating her!)
Anywho, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Vote, comment + all that good stuff!
Twitter | btwitssurina
Ask.fm | jxnnerslayss
Big shoutout to KasrAlmas99 for helping me with this chapter when I had a big meltdown 💓💓
I will see you all next week! Have a good weekend babies & also, if you haven't watched the trailer for Deal it's now up on YouTube!
I love you all the moon & back 🌙✨