"OHMYGOD!! WHAT THE FUCK IS UGGGGHHH!!!" Olivia yelled after me as I threw my recently folded laundry at her. I just pelted several pairs of workout pants at her in a row. "NO!! YOU DON'T GET TO MEET WITH YOUR EX-FIANCÉ AND GET PHOTOGRAPHED DOING IT!! THAT'S HUMILIATING FOR ME, OLIVIA!!!" I shout back, infuriated at the photos I was just sent of Liv and Lucas having lunch together.
"STOP. FUCKING. THROWING. SHIT. AT. ME!" Liv yelled back throwing the workout clothes I threw at her back at me. "UGGGHH!! GET OUT, OLIVIA!!!" I bark at her.
"No. No! I'm not going anywhere because you're being fucking ridiculous! I texted you the minute he showed up at my office and I told you the minute I got home what we talked about during that lunch!" Liv said firmly, walking around the island in our closet.
I realize quickly that she did text me about Lucas coming and going to lunch with him two doors down from her office. I also embarrassingly remember that he went to her because he was dating some model and didn't want her to hear it from someone else. Ugh, fuck. I fucked up...but my pride is too high to admit I was wrong...at least during the heat of this moment.
I stand with my arms crossed staring at her from across the island of our closet. Liv is waiting for my retaliation, but I have none. I click my jaw and look away from my girl. "ABBY," she repeats firmly, waiting. She slowly walked towards me still waiting for a response. "I...I..." I begin to stammer. "You what, Abby?" Liv said leaning up against the island right next to me.
"I forgot, okay???" I can feel my face get hot, blushing with embarrassment. I bury my face in my hands leaning over the island.
"UGHH!!! ABIGAIL!" I heard Liv groan and she turns around and slams her hands on the island I was also leaning on. She slammed her hands so hard, the sunglasses displayed on the inside rattled.
"I'm sorry I'm so crazy," I moan into my hands.
"No kidding," Liv says flatly, walking out of our closet and slamming the bedroom door behind her. Fuck.
"Liv..." I shout running after her. "Baby, please!" I'm chasing after her down the stairs and into the living room. I sit on the couch across from Olivia who is giving me ice queen vibes right now, I don't blame her though. I really fucked up picking that fight with her about Lucas.
I sighed very loudly to get her attention, she darts her eyes at me then chucks one of the throw pillows at my face. "Ah," I yelp in shock and before I can even react another throw pillow is thrown at my face. "Ow, no, baby stop! I get it! Okay?!" I surrendered.
"You're always picking fights like this, Abby. Why?" My girl asked me turning the tv off.
"I don't know," I mumble. "Why don't you ever get jealous like this?" I ask my girlfriend softly. How is she always so confident and so sure?
"I get jealous, Abigail, I just don't throw crazy tantrums every fucking time!" She snaps at me. She's still mad at me, fuck. I walk slowly to her, my hands up in surrender. I sit myself next to my always calm, cool, collected girlfriend and lift her right arm so I'm snuggled right up against her, my head resting on her chest and my hand rubbing her tone stomach.
"I'm sorry I'm so crazy, sweets. I really am. I was never like this with any of my boyfriends. It's just with you there's men AND women I have to worry about, they come on to you on a daily basis — talking about how they wanna eat you out or pound the fuck out of you," I say with disgust. She places her hand on my hand as I rub circles on her abdomen.
"Abby, listen to me and listen really well. I love you more than you will ever know. In fact, people have told me that I love you too much. I know they're right but that's just how I am, when I love — I love hard and I love with my everything because love is too precious not to give it my all," she sighed deeply gripping my leg that was on top of hers. There's a bit of a smirk that escapes her expression and it's the same smirk I saw that very first night in Barcelona where I just knew. I knew that I was in love with her. A smirk that made her look so indescribably beautiful that my heart skipped a beat. A smirk that showed how clever and vulnerable she is. The smirk that made me fall in love with her.
"I also know how it feels to be cheated on, we talked about this. That pain and humiliation is something I would never wish on anyone. So if you think I would cheat on you, you don't know me at all and it's becoming really insulting already," she warns me.
"I've been so selfish, this entire relationship I've just taken and taken from you while all you've done is give," I try to sit up but she holds me close to her. "I do things without ever thinking about you and your feelings — and here I am always bitching to you to be a grown up in this relationship. I never, ever meant to insult you, baby. I can't apologize enough," I sit back, leaning on Olivia with her caressing my back because she always has my back.
"We're a work in progress, sweetheart. Neither of us have ever been in a relationship like this. It's all new territory. Our relationship is a work of progress. I'm sorry, I yelled at you," Olivia sighed, kissing me on the head tenderly and pulling me closer to her. She turns the TV back on, mindlessly searching for something to watch.
After a few minutes, I can't keep my curiosity at bay and ask, "who do you get jealous of, baby?" I can feel Olivia's body tense under mine at the question. "I...I get jealous of..." she stutters, unable to answer my question. I tap her on the cheek, a reminder for her to use her words. She exhales so deeply I swear she almost turned blue — like she would rather suffocate than tell me who she's jealous of. "You're gonna think I'm crazy..." she starts to say turning off the TV again.
"Not as crazy as I've been with Lucas, Elise, and every other person that's looked at you the wrong way," I chuckle, sliding my hand under her shirt to feel the toned skin underneath.
"You will, because even I think I'm crazy," she repeats, unable to look me in the eye.
"If you don't want to tell me, that's okay too...I guess," I comfort her because she's obviously uncomfortable.
"I get jealous of Monty," she blurts out in one breath. My mouth open she rolls her neck, "see, I told you you would think I was crazy."
"I don't...but baby, why? Why would you be jealous of...of Monty?"
"It's just the idea of him I'm jealous of. I have to live up to him and his memory and everything he was to you. You thought you were going to marry him — that you would spend a lifetime with him and you'll never get to know what it was like. That's what I'm expected to live up to. Even though I know you don't compare myself to him, I do. You thought it was hard dealing with my ex? Yours is a billion times harder to get past because I loved him too! He was my friend, I loved how happy he made you. That's who I get jealous of..." she confesses like she's had this answer prepared since we started dating.
I'm in shock...I can feel that my mouth is open and I'm staring directly at Olivia. She looks so embarrassed to have had to confess that to me but also she looks like a burden has been lifted off her shoulders — like she's been holding that in for so long. Knowing Olivia this is something she didn't even think to say out loud.
"Abby..." she says snapping me out of my gaze and my own thoughts. "I didn't...I never realized..." I snap out of it and realize I need to answer my girl. "Liv, you're right, I'll never know what my life would have been like if Monty never died but that's not something to be jealous of. I'm yours. I never compare you two, neither should you. You are two very different people — two different types of loves in my life, incomparable. Okay?" I tell Olivia, looking into her light brown eyes, they're bright and warm. I wait for that smirk, it doesn't come until after I put my hand on the nape of her neck, but it comes and it fills me up.
I nestle myself back into the crook of Liv's neck, squeezing her tightly against me. I take the remote from her swiftly and without complaint she lets me put on excellent trash TV.
We're halfway through an episode of Real Housewives when the bell rings for our gate, Liv checks who it is on the iPad sitting on the end table, "...it's Sarah and Angie behind her."
"I HOPE YOU TWO ARE DRESSED! I'M COMING IN!!" Sarah announces before stepping through the door, make me and Olivia laugh. "No one is naked!" I shout back at her, my girl hoisting me up with her into a kiss. "Mmm...thank you but I want more than a kiss after the conversation we just had," I tell her after the peck on the lips she just gave me.
"Hi girls!" Sarah happily greets my dogs. "Liv! I have the first copies of your magazine covers! Hi, Abby! See you in August's issue of Women's Health and People," Sarah says coyly. "Haha! Thanks, Sarah! Let's see my girl, huh?" I gasp from the end product of Liv's covers!!
"AAHHH! OHMYGOD! BABE!!! YOU LOOK FUCKING SICK!!!!" I shout, as Liv gets water bottles for everyone.
"Holy-photoshop..." Olivia reacts to her Women's Health cover. She's completely stark naked on the cover but it's so tastefully done! It's obviously edited, doesn't mean Liv doesn't look hot as hell in it.
Sarah then drops Liv's Shape cover and Maxim cover on the kitchen table and instantly my insides tense up — I've never been so turned on by magazines, I'm like some pre-pubescent boy.
"OH MY FUCKING GOD! OLIVIA!!!" Angie exclaims.
"BABY YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT!! OH MY GOD!!"
"Whoaa.. I look good," Olivia chuckles, thumbing through the magazine photos, looking more smug than ever.
"Yeah, no fucking kidding you look good! Holy shit!! Are those real?" Sarah examines the photo of Olivia with her abs on full display. Sarah and Angie then grab Olivia and lift up her shirt to compare and contrast the photo from real life. "Yeah...real life...holy fuck, Olivia..." Angie says in shock. "That's disgustingly unfair because you eat like trash," Sarah say sarcastically.
"Yeah, seriously...I've never seen anyone eat as much fast food as you," I add.
"My god! Look at this one!" Angie says in complete shock over one photo from Maxim. "I fucking get the appeal now, Abby. Like I've never wanted to do things with you, Liv but these photos low key make me want to," Angie practically drools over the Maxium photos.
"These are so hot, I'm kind of upset everyone is going to get to see these...like this is my girlfriend that people are going to be looking at like you are, Angie. Looks like I'm going to be in full jealous mode when these officially come out," I sing, half telling the truth.
"Down, Abby," she tells me calmly. "You're doing one of these too, so," she crooks her head at me. "Yeah, yeah. I know, down." I reply, still gawking at my girlfriends magazine spreads.
"Baby, we need to get these framed! I want these all over the house!" I announce long after everyone has ogled the magazines. "Framed? I don't know about that, babe," she says doubtfully.
"Fine, but I'm going to get this one enlarged and hang it up somewhere," I hold up the naked photo of Liv laying on a faux fur rug. "Right at the entryway, what do you think? You look so dreamy!" I tease. "God...if you hang that up I'm hanging yours up from your shoot!" Liv scoffs and my frown almost disappears because knowing her, it is very likely that she will even if it's just as a joke referring to this very moment. She'll do it.
"I gotta go, babe. Wake up," I try to coax my girl out of bed but it's useless. I trail my hand gently up and down her naked back, her smooth, tan complexion making me bite my lower lip. "Sweets, I'm leaving for my shoot, give me a kiss," I say quickly checking the time on the bedside table. "Mmm, what time is it? Wait," she groans, rolling over and grabbing hold of my wrist. "It's time for me to be in the car already! Now give me a kiss so I can go," I demand. I was equally as surprised as she was when I woke up this morning and my lips weren't swollen from the hours of kissing Olivia's sweet lips last night.
She sits up and presses her very sleepy, only slightly swollen lips against mine, I smile into her kiss and fix Liv's hair a bit. "Now, tell me to have a good day," I demand again chuckling. "Have a good day, sweetheart. I love you. Knock em dead. Make em come with those naked shots," she teases, tugging at my waistband. "I'll be home for dinner, so make sure it's ready," I attempt to wink and leave my sleepy girl in bed.
I get to the studio on a backlot for my photo shoot and meet with the photographer again, just so we're both in the same headspace for this shoot, "you know when I shot for Olivia, she wasn't this thorough — I appreciate this. It's not typical for actresses to open this conversation, this is usually a model conversation so I love love love that we're talking about this," he says.
"Yeah, you know, I just wanted to make a few things clear — my dad is going to be picking up this magazine," I laugh, "I don't want him to be embarrassed that his daughter did a porno spread or something."
"I love that, if my little girl were ever to do a spread like this, for whatever reason, I would hope that she would take my feelings into consideration like you are," he said taking me into a surprising hug.
"How old is your daughter?" I ask him as we walk into my dressing room for the next two days. "She's five," he smiles brightly showing me his lock screen on his phone of his adorable, blonde baby girl. "She's precious, what's her name?" I cooed. "You're going to laugh..." he chuckles. "Olivia. We named our daughter Olivia, my baby mama girlfriend is Filipino and is like her biggest fan," he gushes and he's right because I do laugh. "Oh my god, haha that's so great, did she meet Liv when you guys shot together?" I ask still laughing. "Yeah and she fucking lost her goddamn mind! Olivia is one of her top five so it was touch and go for a second for our relationship," he laughed fully. "Oh my god, how funny!!!" I bubbled.
After shooting a couple hours we break for lunch, and much to my surprise but also not surprised at all but Olivia has lunch and flowers sent to set for me and my team. I FaceTime my ever thoughtful girlfriend and from the minute she picks up the call I can read her like a book — a book that I've read over and over and know everything about. "What's wrong?" I press. "Nothing, did you get the flowers and the lunch?" She wipes tears from her eyes and tries to smile back at me. I shake my head not accepting her deflection, "Olivia," I repeat, dropping my lunch onto the table in front of me to take the call in a more private corner of this studio. As I'm walking, I see through the screen of my phone, Olivia not wanting to look me in the eye and forcing down her tears, her emotions. In the seconds it takes me to find a private seat away from the bustle of the shoot, my world dark and stormy.
"Olivia, please, what's wrong?" I plead, trying to find her light brown eyes, I know if she'll just look at me — lock eyes with me I can anchor her like she does with me. "Look at me Olivia," I demand. She finally looks into my eyes, they're dark — almost black and they're hurting. "I'll just talk to you when you get home, munch. I-I promise," she huffs from trying to stop her sobs. "No, I need to know now, baby!" There's a wash of panic that flows over me, I feel like all the color from my face has drained. "It was nothing, I just fought with my stupid, stupid dad again. Ugh! I'll be fine! I'm at the office. I'll see you at home for dinner, I'm cooking right?" She forces a smile and a chuckle out while harshly wiping the tears away from her face, tears that continue to stream down despite her greatest efforts.
Why does she shut me out like this? Why won't she let me in and let me take care of her? "Trust me, I'll be fine and we'll talk at dinner," she repeats because I'm sure the expression on my face is covered in worry. All I can manage to do is nod before she hangs up the call.
"Olivia! Baby, I'm home!" I shout, walking into the our house, greeting the dogs and scanning the entire first floor of our home looking for my girl. The further into the house I get, the better I can hear the music playing and the kitchen going. I push my way through the dogs to kitchen where it smells delicious! I turn to find Olivia at the stove, wrapped just in my apron and I burst out in laughter, "what is going on in here?"
"I'm making dinner and I'm dessert!" She giggled, turning slightly to look at me. The world is a lot brighter right now compared to this afternoon. Her eyes were light and warm instead of dark and cold. Her smile wasn't forced just to please me. I snake my hands around her waist from behind underneath my apron so my hands are raking her toned stomach.
"Mmm, it smells good," I say quietly into her ear, kissing her shoulder. "Yeah, broccolini and my attempt at your mom's baked ziti in the oven," she says mixing the veggies with one hand and cracking the oven door open with the other. "Are you okay?" I say between kisses along her neck, nipping and nibbling.
"I got in a fight with him about the magazine covers...something we were so proud of, he was ashamed of and hated. It sucked, but I should have known better than to even go over there," she recalls this afternoon's hurtful events. "Baby..." I rub my hands down her back and onto her shoulders. "It's fine. It was a learning curve I guess. Learning what I can and can't tell him anymore," her voice cracks along with my heart. "Olivia, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say..." I try to turn her to face me, but her feet are like lead and won't budge. "Me neither. I'll be okay. I know I will," she inhales deeply nodding, trying to convince me and maybe even herself.
"These are done," she turns off the stove and plates the veggies, handing them to me to set at the dinner table where she's lit candles and has already opened a bottle of wine.
I pat the seat on the bench next to me for her to sit in, instead of across from me. She takes the seat next to me, "how was your shoot? Those pictures you sent me were so beautiful !"
"It was really good! The photographer told me about his wife and daughter, Olivia," I chuckle remembering that they named their daughter after the naked girl wearing only an apron sitting next to me. "HA! Oh yeah! They were really nice, his daughter is fucking adorable, right?" She giggles. "Yeah, but you're a way sexier Olivia," I nudge her with my elbow.
"Holy shit, baby! This is really good! Like as good as my moms!" I say in complete surprise after taking a bite out of the baked ziti on my plate. Olivia takes a bite and she's surprised as well, "oh my god. I have to call your mom!" She scrambles for her phone or mine but I smack my hand on top of hers reaching for the phone on the dinner table, "I don't think that's a good idea." I laugh eyeing Oliva's current clothing situation — or lack thereof.
"Oh..." she stopped.
"You know I'm not really a dessert person," I tease, raising my eyebrow, and waiting for a raise out of my girlfriend from the corner of my eye. "Oh I know, but this is something you might like the taste of," she teased and the lower half of my body instantly tensed.
"I'm sorry about earlier," Liv quietly mumbled, playing with the food on her plate. "What? What for?" I ask taking a sip out of my wine glass. "When you called during your shoot," she had a bashful look on her face and I clucked my tongue at the whole notion. "Stop, don't apologize! I don't wanna hear it!" I snapped.
We quietly finished eating the amazing meal Liv cooked for me, "you know what?" I asked the still naked brunette sitting next to me. "What?"
"I want a kiss. I got home and didn't get a single kiss from my girlfriend," I said cleaning up the used dishes and placing them all in the dishwasher.
"Ohh, one of these, you mean?" Olivia smirks, pressing me up against the dishwasher. She eased up and pressed her lips to mine. We kissed softly, tenderly. Tongues touching, stroking lightly. I eased my hands up and under the apron and stroked Liv softly. My fingers moved languidly, opening, circling, sliding to all the right spots. There were soft moans and breathy sighs lost in wet soft kisses and soothing whispers.
"Upstairs," Liv pants breathlessly.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
"You think it's ready for the listening with my label?" I nervously ask Olivia and Chaz who have been tirelessly working to master all the tracks of my album to let all the label execs listen to it.
"It'll be ready, Abby," Chaz asserts but doesn't look up from the computer. "Liv?" I ask her, I know I'm bothering the both of them and only hindering their work, but I just need to hear it from them that it's going well. "Yes, Abby, now get out so we can work, you're being annoying," she says flatly, gripping my butt and pushing me in the direction of the door.
I impatiently wait down stairs Angie's office, listening to her talk about how Jeff just leaves his wet towels on the floor after a shower. "Have you told him that you hate the towel thing?" I ask Angie like it was an obvious question. "What? Obviously, but he doesn't think it's a big deal, he said he throws the towel in the wash after anyways," Angie groans shuffling through her stacks of paperwork. "That's such a guy answer — so stupid. Good luck with that!" I tease Angie laughing. "What are you doing here anyway? You aren't filming? Jeff left almost two hours ago to get to set," Angie said curiously.
"We have another night shoot and Liv is working on the finishing touches of my album for the listening at my label," I replied with a nervous look on my face.
"Oh yeah, I saw that on her schedule. How's it going?" Angie asks, moving the couch in her office I was sitting on. "It's going, I trust them completely but I'm still nervous the record label people won't like it," I confess. "If Liv's working on it, it'll be perfect," Angie nods, very sure of her best friend.
About an hour or two later of running lines and just chatting with Angie and the other member of dynamic duo's team, Olivia drops herself onto the couch beside Angie and I finishing her line for tonight's scenes. That beautiful, yet sometimes scary brain of hers.
"We get it, you memorized your lines already! Were you this obnoxious in Vancouver?" Angie rolls her eyes. Liv scoffs, moving herself on to my lap and I snake my arms around her waist, hers wrapping around my neck. "I'm always obnoxious in your eyes, Angie," she sticks her tongue out at her best friend. "You're not obnoxious, you're insufferable in my eyes, O-Liv-i-ah!" Angie mocked.
"Where are you guys going this year for your anniversary? Your TWO YEAR anniversary. Holy shit...can't believe you two have been together for two years. I honestly can't believe it..." Angie stares blanking in shock of her own realization. Liv and I both raise our brows at her, slightly offended. "No, I just mean, I didn't think Liv would jump from one long term relationship to the next and you know you guys have had your issues."
"I was single for a good nine months. One month for every year that I was with Lucas," my girlfriend laughs with a full belly laugh. "Where are we going this year, huh baby?" I tickle her sides making her squirm in my lap. "I don't know yet," I can sense a hint of a lie. "We can't go far, we're filming. Before we even get to our anniversary we have both your birthday's coming up!" Liv smirks, that smirk.
"Oh yeah! What are we doing for your birthday, Angie? Or are you and Jeff gonna do something, just the two of you?" I ask her cocking my head. "I'm honestly not sure yet, I just want something really relax. Maybe just a barbecue at the house, or a beach day," Angie shrugs. "Ohh yeah! At the new house, you guys never had a housewarming party! Oh, munch, we gotta go," Olivia jumps off my lap, checking the time and extends her hand for me to grab hold of.
"Wait, what about my album?" I stop, yanking Olivia back a few steps before getting to my parked car. "Your album? Oh, it's done." She replied nonchalantly.
I shriek with excitement, "IT'S DONE?? OH MY GOD! WHERE IS IT??? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING???"
Liv laughs and pulls a CD out of her purse, waving it back and forth in front of me. I try reaching for it but she snatches it away quickly.
"LIV!!!"
"Nope!" She replies hiding it behind her back with one hand and placing a finger on her lips with her free hand.
"Oh my god," I scoff and jump into her arms kissing Olivia with such bruising intensity that I physically felt sparks between our lips. I moaned into the kiss further when she wrapped both arms around me and pulled me even closer to her. I was never so thankful for Olivia — for this intense love she makes me feel. For being my girl. For never leaving my side despite the torture I put her through. For pleasing my every desire. For this new lease on life she's given me.
"I feel like I've been dreaming with my eyes open. Because of you, dreams I never even dreamed have come true," I whisper quietly with my eyes still closed, my lips still tingling. I didn't want to break away from the kiss but I had to tell her that she's made my dreams come true. "It's not just the dream of this album...it's everything."
"I'm not all that, Abby," she puts me down off my tiptoes. "That's what you are to me. I love you so much, Abby. It scares me all the time but it's a fear I love walking head first into because of you. You're my home," she whispers in my ear, handing me the CD with my album.
"You two are disgusting and unreal. No one fucking talks to each other like that! Gimme a break!" Angie pretended to gag, sticking her index finger down her throat.
I sit at the head of the conference table, beaming with pride after playing the entirety of my sophomore album for my label executives, nervously awaiting to hear their opinions and whether or not they want to push through it all.
"You did...a fantastic job, Abby. Absolutely phenomenal!"
"It reaches so many emotions, its about rediscovering love, maintaining it, losing it, and...the track for Monty — a definite tear jerker. It's wonderful of you to honor his memory as such for each album. I'm sure he's very proud of you," one of the label execs divulges.
"Thank you, thank all of you for the opportunity for a sophomore album and having more creative freedom with it. These songs were definitely more in my wheelhouse. I also want to thank you for allowing the collaboration between Olivia Riviera and myself."
"Yes the wildly talented, Olivia Riviera. She did a sensational job producing, writing a few of the songs too, I see. We'll have to reach out to her and compensate her for her work."
"No, I know she didn't want any compensation, just the copyrights to the songs."
"I understand but that isn't how to like to do work."
"Last topic regarding Ms. Riviera, even though I'm sure all of us would like to say something regarding her talents and business ventures — as she's a fine topic of discussion. She agreed to produce your album under a pseudonym, but she hasn't disclosed that information anywhere, do you happen to know what it is, Abby?"
"Yeah, Francisca Stozzi, after two of her favorite female composers of classical music," I smile happily.
"Perfect, we'll put her down under that name as producer."
"It really is a fantastic album, Abby. Do you have a time frame you want to release the album?"
"I'm not sure yet. I don't want to be filming my show, that's for sure. I want to be able to go on tour with this album. It's important to me to do a tour, even if that means pushing the release date back."
"Understood."
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Another day of press has rolled around, today I'm working alone — without my co-star who also happens to be my girlfriend. The studio's publicist suggested against our mutual press interviews because of the negativity it has brought. A lot of talk in the internet is that our relationship is just for press purposed — for ratings and views. Some people have even extended their proof to this theory by bringing in my previous relationship with Monty — that this is a publicity stunt I tend not to stray from.
"I think that's really stupid, people can't possibly think this is fake. There's no fucking winning with them — either our relationship is fake or it's too real for the world," Liv scoffs from the stove, making herself breakfast after her workout.
She's clad only in a sports bra and the tightest Nike Pro shorts perfectly cupping her ass. My eyes can't help but fixate themselves on her ass that I was gripping last night. I inhale desire and exhale hunger as she rants on about how I have to do press today instead of filming, all I want right now is to have my hands all over her — feeling, touching, holding her.
"Are we doing a neutral look for today, Abby?" Melany asks me snapping me out of my fixation. "Huh? Yeah, my dress is really colorful and I don't want to be too loud," I answer back refocusing my eyes on what is in front of me. "Babe, did you eat breakfast already? What about you guys? I made extra avocado for some toast!" Liv says following us into the glam room so we can get started on my look.
"Yeah, toast for me, baby," I smile, holding on to her hand. "Here take, mine, I'll make some for everyone," she giggles with a mouth full of avocado toast in her mouth and kissing my cheek leaving some crumbs behind.
"How is she so gorgeous even after a workout like that?" Chad asks rhetorically shaking his head in disbelief. "It's even more annoying when you see how she eats like trash. She eats the least clean for someone who lives and breathes LA," I scoff.
"Nah, she's glowing inside and out. I've been doing her hair for almost as long as Lee has been doing her makeup. She's as happy as she is now because of you, Abby," Chad compliments, warming my heart and instantly making me blush.
"Morning, honey!" My dad greets me while Chad and Melany work on me. "Hi, dad!! Where were you and mom this morning?" I asked because normally they're up at the crack of dawn ready to start their day while Liv and I are still in bed.
"Oh, uhm...your mom and I got an early start and went for a walk around the neighborhood," something about his answer was very suspicious. "Oh yeah? Where's mom?" I cock an eyebrow up at him, trying to stare him down through the reflection in the mirror in front of me.
"She's out...talking to Linda," he confessed. "OHMYGOD! WHAT DID I TELL YOU GUYS ABOUT MEDDLING!!!!!"
"WE AREN'T MEDDLING IN YOUR LIFE!"
"YOU ARE!! OH MY GOD! DAD!!"
"NO! IT'S HER LIFE...AND YOU CAN'T EXPECT ME TO SIT BACK WHEN SHE CONFIDES IN ME! I NEEDED TO HELP HER!"
"WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING???" Olivia walks in with a tray of avocado toast for everyone. Chad and Melany grab a piece and excuse themselves, leaving Liv very confused.
"Go on, tell her! Tell her why we're yelling!" I firmly tell my meddling father, a few decibals lower than earlier.
The yelling is normal for my parents and I, it isn't yelling, we're just Italian...it's how we communicate and Liv knows that.
My dad exhales sharply, looking at me and back at Olivia. "Eve and I went for a walk this morning...to your parents house. We wanted to just...touch base with your parents."
"You guys...what? My? Why?" The color in Liv's face washes out and she falls to the chair next to her, still holding the avocado toast in her hands. I take the tray and place it on my chair and shoot my dad a look.
"I just wanted to talk to them or try to. I thought I could talk to your dad, Olivia. See what his perspective was...I'm sorry if I overstepped. I'm so sorry, honey," my dad apologizes down on one knee to look into Liv's eyes. Her light and warm eyes were dark and sad again. "Dad, please go get mom," I demand.
"No, it's fine..." Olivia looks up inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Abby, I'm fine," she reassures me, I only believe her because of her the smirk she gives me. "What did they say?" I ask my dad for Olivia and out of my own curiosity.
My dad looks back and forth between me rubbing his temples with his fingers, "he won't budge. He doesn't think his little girl should be with a woman — not just you Abby, anyone. Despite the cheating and the lying Lucas did, he still thought he was right for you, Olivia. He just kept saying he wanted more for you, but wouldn't elaborate. I'm sorry, Olivia. I really am."
Liv is staring down at her feet, nodding. It's like I could actually hear her heart aching. "Thank you for trying, Marc. I appreciate it, believe me. That's what he last told me...he won't budge and I know it. He's stuck in his old ways. It's fine...I'm fine."
There aren't tears in her eyes, from the looks of things, my dad and I both know that this is a song she's already heard. The pain she must be feeling not being accepted by her father, but her brother is? The betrayal and anger she must have. But she's my Olivia, she would never let those feelings get the best of her — she won't ever act on them. Her heart is too kind and full of love.
"There's nothing I can do, you guys. That's who he is, just like how this is who I am. I can't do anything but thank him for sending me down this path in life. Thank him for the pain I am suffering through — the anger because I know it's only making me stronger or preparing me for who knows what," Liv explains with the bravest smile I have ever seen, her eyes welling up with tears because she know there's nothing left for her than to just accept the cards she's been dealt.
I place her hand in mine, placing it over my own heart hoping that somehow an ounce of her heart can somehow influence mine to act as hers does.
"You gotta get ready and I gotta get to the office!" Liv winks back at me as she leaves the glam room to get ready to start her day.
I can't shake the feeling that I am not good enough to be with someone like Olivia Rivera, who can forgive her father over a matter of who she is in love with. I can't even keep my jealousy at bay or keep my eye from wandering from time to time. I'm not saying Olivia is perfect, but she's god damn close and I don't deserve her.
"Honey, I'm sorry if I overstepped. I just care a lot about Olivia, she's like another daughter to me. She trusts me, confides in me," my dad explains on the car ride back to the house after a day of interviews. "I know, daddy. I'm glad she has you...she needs a father figure in her life and she couldn't have chosen a better one," I kiss my dad on the cheek, appreciative of the role he's taken on for Olivia.
"She'll be okay, honey. It's just going to be hard for her and her family. Your job is to be there for her — help her. She's going to need it," my mom warns me gently. "I don't know, mom. I don't think I'm what she needs," I start to tear up in the car, leaning my head on my mom's shoulder as I sit between both my parents.
I get a flashback to a time I was a kid and just auditioned for a role in the "King and I" but didn't book the job. I cried so hard sitting between my mom and dad in the back of a cab, my head leaning on my mom's shoulder and my dad caressing my back between sobs.
"What do you mean you're not what she needs? Honey, you are not to blame for this! Everyone's family is different! You should know, her family doesn't blame you. Linda, Kevin...they don't think your relationship is the cause for any of this," my mom tries to convince me. "I'm not enough for her...she deserves so much more. Someone who doesn't torture her for a whole year and throws things at her when they get into arguments," I sob into my mom's shoulder.
"Do not doubt your worth, Abigail! She chose you! She loves YOU! I have never seen anyone look at you the way she does. I have never seen anyone care for you and love you or know you the way she does! Don't you dare second guess that girl's love for you, Abigail!" My dad lectures me, turning my chin to face him. He's looking at me with anger or disappointment, wagging his finger up and down like I just tracked mud and snow into the house right after he cleaned.
He wipes my tears away and like magic they stop trailing down my face. My mom pulling a tissue of her purse for me to blow my nose in. "There we go, no more tears. You're a beautiful girl, I know because you're your mother's daughter, but not so beautiful when you cry," my dad teases making this two most important women in his life chuckle. Him and his dad jokes!
We pull up to the house and Liv has dinner prepared for us so we don't have to rush to get to the Adele concert tonight. The four of us plus Kevin and his girlfriend of the week are all going. Adele specifically sent Liv these tickets and wants to meet with her while she's in town.
"What's all this?" My mom announces starting to pick at the food Liv set out for all of us. "I'm gonna go upstairs and change," I tell my parents. "Abby?" I hear my girl calling for me from upstairs. "Yeah, we're home! Did you buy all that food for dinner?" I shout climbing up the stairs. "Yeah, make sure your parents help themselves and to hurry before Kevin gets here and eats it all," she laughs.
"Hi, baby," I hug my girl from behind, flush against her, breathing her in. My face pressed against her back, I'm so close to her but I need to be closer. "Hi, my sweet lady. How was your day?" She asked leaning over the bathroom sink, applying mascara to her lashes. "It was okay," I mumbled. "I'm sorry, good thing we're going to see Adele, perfect for our masochism, huh?" She teases finally turning around to face me, her hands wrapped around my neck.
"Why do you stay with me?" I can't help but ask, looking up at her. Her smirk turned into a small pout, her brows furrowed and her nose scrunched up. "I mean, everything with your family would be okay if we weren't together...if we had just stayed friends," I whine, pushing myself away from her and sitting on the toilet seat across from her.
"Is this about what happen this morning with our parents? Abby..." she scoffs and rolls her eyes. "Abby what? You know I'm right?" I argue. "No. You're actually far from being right," Liv snaps. "I'm not saying there's someone else but this...me being with a woman was probably inevitable, to be honest. So even if we had just stayed friends, I would still end up in this situation with my dad. So don't. Don't go around trying to break up with me for my family's sake, okay?"
"You didn't answer my question..." I repeat quietly, my tail slightly between my legs. "Because Abby, have you felt something so overwhelmingly right that it feels like everyday your heart could burst with love?" She extends her arm out to me, yanking me back into her arms where I've wanted to be all day. "Yeah, when I'm with you," I answer without doubt or hesitation. "Exactly. That's why I stay with you, munch."
The six of us arrive at the Hollywood bowl where Adele's concert is behind held for two nights, the concert is beautiful and only Adele and Liv can tug at my heartstrings the way they do. My fucking heart! Liv and I and my parents couldn't help ourselves when she sang, "Make You Feel My Love" which I sang at Monty's funeral.
"Oh get up! Quit fucking around!" Adele laughs her signature laugh because Liv and I are literally bowing down to her after her extraordinary performance! "It's only appropriate to bow to a queen! Hi, babe!" Liv gives the songstress a big hug. "Well, I'm glad you guys enjoyed"
Adele pulls Liv aside and I'm only pulled alongside with them because she wouldn't let go of my hand, "listen, I want to work with you on some songs, yeah? I'm eventually going to do a new album and I want you there. I've heard you're the one to go to for writing and producing. I just want to throw my name in the hat because my mates and I have this running bet that you have a long list of artists that want you to work with," she gushes. I laugh out loud and realize it's not appropriate timing and I cover my mouth. "You know how much I fucking love you! Why you think my talent exceeds yours is beyond me, it would be my fucking pleasure to work with you! Are you kidding me? Name the time and the place and I'm fucking there in a heartbeat!" Liv excitedly agrees. I'm still in awe over being in close proximity to Adele and that she's talking to Olivia and I like one of her friends and now they're gonna work together? HOLY SHIT!
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
I've gone back to working out intensely with Olivia and her trainer each morning and a workout class again in the afternoon twice a week. Two naked photo shoots for magazine covers can do that to a girl. I'm so incredibly comfortable in my skin especially since being with Olivia, I just really like looking good for photos.
"One more set, ladies. Good! Liv! Lower your arms, bringing your chest closer to the bosu ball, Abby!" Bradley presses. "UGH FUCK YOU!" I bark at the very large and buff trainer telling me to go lower on my push ups. "Yeah, I know Abby. Let's go! Five more! PUSH!"
"Alright, great jobs, ladies," Bradley claps his hands together and leaves to get our post-workout shakes. I collapse on to the grass where we were cooling down, "UGH FUCK! I HATE THIS! OHMYGOD!" I half expect Liv to laugh at me but she doesn't and I don't even hear her panting, I peak up from my sunglasses to find that my girl isn't even there. I lay back down assuming she went with Bradley to get our drinks and I really couldn't lift my head any higher to figure out where she is. I lay on my yoga mat in the grass of our backyard, the sun beating down on me and Mitchi circling to find a spot next to me. Next thing I know I get a light but loud smack on my leg, "AH! WAH?" Escapes my mouth.
A loud laugh situates itself next to me lifting up my legs then my butt sliding a large cylinder under me. I open my eyes when Liv starts to foam roll me out for after our workout. "Mmm, yes," I groan euphorically. "Whoaaa...take it easy, munch," Liv chuckles slipping the foam roller out from under me and on to the top of my legs. "Ugggghhh fuuuck yes!" I groan again because there's nothing like getting the knots in your muscle rolled out. Well, there is but right now this is exactly what I need.
"Here you go guys," Bradley hands us our protein drinks. "Thanks," I groan sitting up to drink. "So, Abby what photoshoots are we prepping your body for this time?" Bradley curiously asks.
"I just did Women's Health's naked edition and I have People mag coming up. Literally, back to back after Olivia," I chuckle because her magazine covers come out and the following month I'm on the cover.
"Oh, nice! Most beautiful person for People?" Bradley raises an eyebrow. "Ha! No, just a cover," I smile back at the buff man.
"But she's most beautiful in my book and I know thousands of other people's too," Liv sweet talks me, still rolling out my quads.
"Yeah, yeah, keep rolling, sweet talker!" I laugh redirecting Liv's attention back to my quads.
"Alright let's take an hour and get in your second workout, you joining us for this one Olivia?" Bradley gives me a hand and pulls me up to my feet followed by Liv. "Yeah, sure, you guys will be done before noon right? I have a meeting at the office.
"I can get you outta here in time," Bradley checks his watch on his wrist. "Oh thank god!" I groan happily because it's so much easier working out with someone else, especially when that someone else is my smokin' hot girlfriend. It 100% gets me going when I workout with her.
Bradley steps away to make business phone calls in the house and before I know it Olivia is stripping out of her already barely there workout clothes. She pulls off her white sports bra over her head tossing it on to her yoga mat. Her back stretching, exposing all the muscles she's formed from working out, beads of sweat dripping down her back. She follows her sports bra with her patterned, skin tight nike pro shorts and thong and I swear it was like I watched all of that in slow motion, especially when she was bent over kicking off the bundle of the remainder of her clothes. The tan complexion of her ass glistening under the sun. Stark naked she whips her head around at me, "you coming?" Then smoothly jumps into the cool blue pool reflecting the LA sun like some sort of Olympic gymnast.
I pick my jaw off the the ground and wipe the drool off my lower lip. I follow my very sexy girlfriend to the edge of the pool, her head bobbing up and down in the water, "what about Bradley? He's in the other room!" I hiss at her coming back down to earth and letting reality cockblock me from what could have been really amazing pool sex.
"What about him? I'm just in here to cool off and relax my muscles..what were you trying to do?" She laughs splashing my legs. "Yeah, sure Olivia," I scoff wiping down my legs even though it felt really good against the heat.
"I'm serious! We don't have time, plus can I remind you of the last time we tried to have sex in here? How much pain I was in afterwards?" She swam closer to the edge of the pool, gripping the concrete with both hands.
"Ugh, fine! Only because it's scorching hot today!" I finally agree, quickly undressing. I don't jump into the pool, instead I sit on the edge and lower myself in which, in retrospect, says a lot about my personality versus Liv's — she's fierce and unafraid of physical adventures like this, where I'm very cautious and hesitant but easily persuaded.
Olivia swims up to me from the other end of the pool and splashes my entire face, "AAAHH! BABY!!" I gasp. "I'm just getting the inevitable out of the way! You were going to go submerged yourself anyways, just thought I'd get you started," she laughed to herself, sinking underwater after, grabbing onto my waist and pulling me down with her.
Together we're suspended, floating, and kicking to keep ourselves afloat. I open my eyes briefly to see Liv smiling at me and I can't help but swim into her arms, resurfacing together — face to face, both gasping for the same air. I look at Olivia and how much I love her and how in love I am with this woman floating in front of me, water dripping down her face, gasping for air, and with my arms resting on her shoulders holding me above water — anchoring me and me doing the same for her.
I don't know what it is about this moment — it's nothing out of the ordinary. We've swam together before in the ocean, in a pool..it's nothing new, but my recognition of how much I truly love Olivia Riviera scares me — it petrified me in this moment. I get so scared of my own love for her because I don't want to see myself loving anyone else — I don't know what my life would be like without her in it. My love for Olivia has liberated me in such a way that I'm so terrified of the freedom and the way it makes me feel. I've always known love is a scary thing, but I never experienced anything like this. Trying to imagine my life without my home, without my anchor rocks me to my core. The possibility of losing Olivia frightens me — the pain it would ensue, enough to think about not even putting myself in a situation so I don't get hurt.
I snap out of it and swim as far away from that wormhole as I can, as quickly as I can, leaving Olivia floating in the pool by herself.
"Abby! Abigail! Hey! What's wrong, munch??" I can hear Olivia chasing after me, calling for me. There's an obvious worry in her voice. If I weren't running with tears in my eyes, this scene of Olivia and I soaking wet chasing me up stairs would be a dream come true for me.
"Abby, please, stop! What's wrong, babe?" Liv finally grabs hold of me halfway up the stairs wrapping a towel around me. "You're shaking, what happen? Come on." Liv takes me upstairs and sits me on the bed. "I just...I love you, but I..." I stutter not knowing how to explain the wormhole of bad feelings I got sucked into in a matter of seconds. "But what, babe...you're scaring me," she says brushing the hair away from my face.
"That's the thing, I'm scared. Loving you scares me because I don't think I could live through the pain of losing you. I...I don't...I can't lose you because I wouldn't survive it and that terrifies me," I sob hysterically, cradling my face in my hands.
"Ssssshhh, Abby. Sssshhh! It's okay," she cooed. I couldn't control my sobbing, I was crying with my entire body and my heart was aching. After a few minutes of hysterical crying, I've finally calmed down, sitting on Liv's lap with my head resting on the crook of her neck her shoulder sopping wet with tears and snot. "Ssssh, it's gonna be okay, munch. I'm gonna draw you a bath, is that okay?" She asks me quietly and I nod as she gently places me on the bed.
Liv walks into our bathroom drawing me a bath with all my favorite bath salts and essential oils, before walking out the door and leaning over the railing, "Bradley, cancel the second workout, alright? We'll see you tomorrow! Lock up on your way out, yeah?" Before he's able to answer she comes back into our bedroom, closing the door behind her.
I'm still panting — almost hyperventilating from the crying I was just doing, standing in front of the bathtub, Olivia unwraps me from the towel and urges me to step into the tub. I get in and take a few deep breaths to really calm myself and collect my thoughts. Liv has changed into some clothes she had lying around and is sitting out the floor of the bathroom adjacent to me in the tub, watching and waiting for me to explain my bizarre breakdown.
"I'm sorry I freaked out, babe," I quietly say to my worried girlfriend sitting up and bringing my knees to my chest in the tub hoping to feel less vulnerable than I already do.
"What happen, munch?"
"I just looked at you and had this realization that I love you so much, so much that I can't even imagine losing you. It terrifies me how much I love you. I wouldn't survive if I had to live my life without you anchoring me or being my home if I didn't have this..." I look at the girl I'm sitting in front of me listening to me explain my fears.
"You can't be afraid of love like that, Abby," she reaches for the loofa in the tub and fiddles with it, resting her chin on the edge of the tub. "I'm scared too, really scared because...when you're with someone you love and you're both committed the next obvious step is marriage but I'm terrified of that too so I get scared again of our relationship because what if I'm scared forever and I can't give you a marriage? I get in this stupid cycle in my head...but I snap out of it because of you."
My head is spinning at what Liv just confessed to me, I want to get married and I would without a doubt say yes if Liv asked me but she just said she was afraid of marriage right now...would I leave her because she couldn't marry me?!
"So we're both scared..." I press my forehead against hers. "Terrified," she chuckles. "But I think love trumps fear when it comes to stuff like this. I'm willing to face my fears if you are."
I nod my head, "endlessly, right?"
"Yeaup, endlessly. It's okay to be scared too, sweetheart. We're a work in progress..." Olivia brings her lips up to kiss mine. "Mhm...we're still learning," I smile into the kiss. "Come inside with me," I whisper to my girl. "Mmm, I want to but I can't I really gotta get to the office! I have a meeting with the event coordinators for DSMN. Rain check?" She begs. "UGGGHH! Just really quick, baby! Please! Make up with me," I whine placing her hand on my left breast. I see Liv check the clock on the wall, "I really...can't, munch."
I honestly thought I was going to have to wait until she got home from the office to get what I wanted from my girlfriend because she was slowly climbing up to her knees, my lips already pouting when I look at her beautiful face that has a devilish smile on it. Liv's hand sinks into the water and before I knew it Liv's fingertips were curled inside me and I felt my muscles clench sharply and my thighs shake instantly, the only thing left for me to do is gasp and slam my eyes shut.
Thrusting in and out of me softly then quickly and with deliverance I groaned with approval. She teased me for what felt like days before Liv gave one deep, strong twisting thrust, with my eyes shut tightly, I was saying Liv's name over and over again. She kept her fingers pushed deep inside me, coaxing while I shuddered and came undone hard against her hand.
"Oh my god, baby," I slipped under the water to try and cool myself off and recover. Liv pokes at my side tickling me and I come up from under the bath water with a kiss on the lips. "I really gotta get going now," Liv said before stripping in front of me again and jumping in the shower. I think about joining her but I can't stand quite yet because my legs are still shaking. I'll get her later. I smirk.