~Wren~
I hardly made it through the Potters' kitchen door before I'd sunk down to the floor, my legs shaking so hard I couldn't stand anymore. I'm alive. I'm back. It was all okay.
"Wren?" James must have come back downstairs to wait for me, because he was in the doorway now. "Oh Merlin, you made it..." He dropped to his knees beside me.
"They believed me," I said, suddenly blinking back tears. They actually believed me. It had worked.
James pulled me into his arms. "I was so worried," he whispered. "But it's all okay now. You're safe." We sat for a few minutes. I was just trying to soak it all in. I hadn't realized how terrified I'd been until now, when it was all past. With that terror gone, it left a void, exhaustion. All I could do was cling to James and be grateful for miracles.
"It worked," I said, finally pushing back from him so I could look at his face. "The false memory worked."
"I knew you could do it," James said, smiling.
My own smile faded. "Zaria Hempsey wants to kill me."
"Yeah? I'll kill her first." James said it like he was joking, an easy smile on his face, but I had a scary feeling that he wasn't.
"She didn't believe me," I explained, trying to ignore that. "She said she's going to prove I'm a traitor. I'm not sure how she plans to do that, but..."
James pursed his lips. "She did?" He shook his head. "Well, she can try. She won't be able to. You and Dad take too many precautions for that."
I wasn't so sure, but I didn't say that. Instead, I smiled and told him about everything else. Zaria's version of the story. My parents' relief. My uncle's hint about another spy at Hogwarts. And if I left out the part where Zaria slammed me into a wall and promised to drag me to Hell with her, who can blame me?
After a few minutes, James mentioned that his parents would probably want to see me soon. I remembered the compact, still open in my pocket, and laughed. They'd probably been listening to all of this. "I think I can stand up."
"Like Hell." James helped me to my feet, then put his arm around my waist. "Lean on me, okay?"
"I'm not helpless," I pointed out. That didn't stop me from leaning into him. I was completely exhausted, if I was being honest. "Anyway, what's your mom going to say?" I teased.
James shrugged as we started up the stairs. "I don't care what Mum says. Not tonight."
Mrs. Potter opened their door before James reached for the knob. He raised an eyebrow at her, defiantly, and didn't move away from me. She hardly seemed to notice. "Wren!" Half a second later, she'd pulled me into a hug. It caught me off guard, and for a moment I just stood there, blinking. Slowly, though, I put my arms around her, and suddenly the tears I'd been holding back couldn't stop. Tears of exhaustion, and relief, and terror, and all the whirlwind of emotions flowing through me. A hurricane was raging inside of me, and I couldn't sort out any of it right then. All I could do was hold on and wait for it to die down.
When Mrs. Potter finally let me go, I was surprised to see Albus behind her, and Lily with him. He threw his arms around me, almost knocking me over. "Oh Merlin, Wren, that all sounded so horrible, and I'm so glad you're okay." He pulled back, his hands on my arms as he searched my face. "You are okay, right?"
I nodded, smiling. "How did you two find out?"
"Come sit," Mr. Potter said. He, Lily, and Mrs. Potter were seated on the floor in front of the bed. I realized it was covered in pillows and blankets, as if they'd all set up camp there to wait for me. Slowly, I sat down, and Mr. Potter explained that James had come upstairs after I'd left to yell at his parents for not telling him. Under normal circumstances, he would've been grounded, but they couldn't blame him for being upset. Anyway, once he'd heard it was my own idea to not tell him, he'd backed down and apologized.
Regardless, the noise had woken Albus and Lily. They'd come in, asking what was the matter, and it didn't taken long to realize I was noticeably absent. At that point, it was a bit useless to lie or send them all back to sleep, so Mr. Potter had suggested they all camp out and wait for me. Apparently, according to Albus, this was something they used to do a lot, when they were younger. Any time Mr. Potter was gone on an auror mission and supposed to get home that night, all the Potter kids slept in their parents' room so they'd all be there to greet him when he got home. This had expanded to include waiting for Mrs. Potter when her job kept her out late, and any other family member who happened to be gone late into the night.
"You're family, too," Albus said, smiling, "so we waited up for you." I blinked, trying my hardest not to show how much that meant.
Despite the fact that they'd heard everything ("The mirror worked like a charm, Wren!" from Mr. Potter was followed by weird looks from his wife and children; after all, it was a charm), Mr. Potter asked me to recount it myself, and try to include what everyone was doing, what their expressions looked like, if I thought their faces said something different than their words. I wasn't entirely sure about everyone, but the one person who mattered was convinced: my uncle. As long as Stillens believed me, it didn't matter what anyone else thought.
Except for Zaria Hempsey. Because, while most of the people in that room were older, long-time associates of my uncle's who understood that personal rivalries and power grabs were not the way to the top, Zaria was young. Zaria was impulsive. And Zaria had a personal reason to hate me. While I doubted anyone else would go behind my uncle's back, doubt his legilimency, and try to prove me wrong, Zaria would. And I was afraid she would do it very, very well.
I went through everything in detail, skimming over the incident with Zaria in the hallway. Mr. and Mrs. Potter didn't press me about it, and though Albus and Lily exchanged a confused glance, they didn't say anything either. Apparently, James hadn't actually heard that part.
Then we started speculating. I didn't really know what my uncle meant by "more responsibility." That is to say, I had some very terrible ideas, but chose not to share them. Memories of things I'd been forced to do, things I'd never forgive myself for, flashed through my mind before I could subdue them. Memories of hurting people. I prayed I wouldn't have to do that again.
James was most interested in who the new spy might be. "Do you think it's a professor?"
Mr. Potter shook his head. "None of the current ones have any ties to Stillens. We've checked. And it didn't sound like he planned to put anyone under the Imperius Curse."
"What about the person who's replacing Professor Patil?" Albus asked.
"Stillens referred to this spy as a he," Mr. Potter said. "Parvati's replacement is a girl. Priscilla Edwards."
James frowned. "Why does that name sound familiar?"
I didn't recognize the name at all, so I had no idea. Mr. Potter, though, nodded. "She graduated with Victoire, actually. Also a Gryffindor."
"Isn't she a little young?" Mrs. Potter asked.
"I suppose so." Mr. Potter shrugged. "I wasn't any older when I started teaching."
I shook my head. This was not important. "She could still be the spy, couldn't she?"
"Possibly," Mr. Potter admitted. "We'll definitely be watching her. However, I think it's more likely that it'll be a student."
"Who?" Lily asked.
They were all looking at me, as if I was supposed to know. I shrugged, feeling a bit useless. "I... I guess I'll know soon..."
"We can't do much about it now," Mr. Potter said. He smiled. "What matters is that you're safe."
Albus nodded. "We should tell Astra."
"In the morning," Mrs. Potter said. Albus looked like he was about to start arguing, but she cut him off. "First thing, okay? Now," she stood up, "I think it's about time we all went to bed."
The Potter kids grumbled and bargained, but eventually they picked up their pillows and trudged out. Lily was actually so tired that she hardly made it through her door. Albus rolled his eyes, put his arm around her, and steered her into her bedroom, closing the door behind him.
James helped me to my door, despite the fact that I assured him I was perfectly fine. We stood in the doorway for a second, James not letting go of my hand. He wanted to say something, I could tell.
After a few moments, he met eyes. "You... You know you can trust me, right?"
"Of course I do," I said softly, a bit surprised.
"And..." James looked down at our entwined hands. "Do you? Trust me?"
Did I trust James? More than anyone else, in a way. In another way, hardly at all. I did believe I could tell him anything, and have him be supportive in spite of it, but I was also constantly worried that what I said would make him fly off the handle. Not at me, but at people who had hurt me. I was afraid I would tell him something that would make him run off and get killed.
"I do, James," I said after a moment, smiling at him. "I do trust you." Just not all the way.
James smiled a bit. "I just want to protect you, Wren. That's all."
And I just want to protect you, I thought.
I didn't say that. I just hugged him, then stepped back, opening my door. "Goodnight, James."
"Goodnight." He crossed the hall to his own door and walked inside.
Almost immediately, Lily's door opened and Albus stepped out. He shot me a tired grin. "Didn't want to interrupt your moment."
"Thanks." I smiled back.
Albus hesitated before walking to his own room. "Um... these doors are a bit thin, so I'm sorry, but I couldn't help overhearing..."
I felt heat rising in my face. "Oh."
Albus glanced at James's door, then quickly walked over to me. "Are you going to tell James about everything Zaria said? He went downstairs before most it happened," he whispered.
I slowly shook my head. "It's... It's not important."
"I think it is. I think James would think it is."
I shook my head again. "I don't want him to get defensive, and try to stop something he can't control."
Albus nodded. "I know. You have good intentions. But James knows you can handle yourself. He wants to protect you, but I think he gets that sometimes that means trusting your judgment."
I glanced down. I wasn't sure if Albus was right or not. James was a bit unpredictable.
"Hey, you don't have to listen to me, obviously," Albus said, "but I think you should tell him, at some point. I know you just want to protect him, too, but trust his common sense, okay?"
Albus was waiting for an answer, so I nodded hesitantly. "I'll tell him. Eventually."
Albus smiled. "Perfect. Well, goodnight, Wren."
I hugged him quickly. "Goodnight, Al."
Maybe he's right, I thought as I closed my door. James was impulsive, but he wasn't an idiot. And he would want to know about this. But I couldn't be sure. He didn't think things through all the time, especially when I was involved. I remembered Welling's glove in the headmasters' office a few weeks ago and winced. What if he ended up doing something just as crazy?
If the Potters hadn't heard what was happening when Zaria threatened me, I might have kept it to myself entirely. I mean, personally, I thought it almost ranked up there with the Things I Never Talked About To Anyone Ever, things like... Like everything from those two years.
I sank onto my bed, suddenly hit by the horrible memories I could normally push away. No. I can't face this now. Not tonight. Not alone.
My mind didn't care.
I was thirteen again, my uncle's hand guiding my wand, firing a spell I'd sworn I'd never cast.
I was twelve again, with Magnus Caldwell pressing me against a wall and telling me I deserved everything he was about to do.
I was eleven again, curled in a corner and shivering in the cold, sobbing and hurt, wishing I'd been brave enough to stay.
Once again, I was crying tonight. I held my pillow up to my face to muffle the sound, clutched it until the tide had passed. I don't know when I fell asleep, but it felt like hours before the parade of bad memories had come to an end.
~~~~
Upsides to writing this POV: I can finally write in American English and not double check everything I say just in case.
Downsides to writing this POV: What is a voice and how do I find it??
I've been so incredibly nervous about introducing Wren's POV since I decided to do it, about three weeks before I finished The Spark. I was worried I wouldn't be able to portray her well, or that you guys wouldn't like the idea of a new POV this late in the game. However, you were all so overwhelmingly supportive in the last chapter! I'm so happy and grateful for you guys!! Literally, a couple comments made me actually physically squeal and jump around like an excitable child (which is exactly what I am honestly). Thank so much for being supportive of this decision! I'm really excited for where the story is going to go from here!
Question of the Day: If I started an Insta for this account, to post like news updates and reading recommendations and answer questions about my characters and have livestreams and all that, would you guys follow it?
Answer: I'm interested in doing this because I'm low key into photography and I just want an easier way to get in touch with you guys about news and things going on. Posting on my profile page is great but I feel like it doesn't reach many people.
I actually made an account, just for fun. It's smile_its_ellie and I'd love it if those of you with Instagram would follow it! I'm going to be incredibly busy this summer and this will be a very easy way to keep up with it all!
Speaking of busyness: I leave for Guatemala in less than a week! I'll try to update next Thursday, but no promises. After that, don't expect much from me unless inspiration hits hard on the plane ride!
Vote and comment!
~Ellie