Shawn
Beth handed me my phone. I had dozens of texts and calls. Fucking hell, Mallory was in labor!
"I need to get to the hospital," I said in a panic. "The baby's coming!"
"You can't drive like this. Let me get my keys. I can take you," Beth said.
She sped through downtown Toronto and I was soon at the hospital. I'd texted Mal that I was on my way, but I knew I might be too late. If I'd missed the birth of my child, I'd never forgive myself. Hell, I wasn't going to forgive myself for not being home when labor started.
"Good luck!" Beth yelled as I exited the car and ran in the emergency entrance.
A nurse walked me to the labor and delivery wing. "Your wife is in room 6," she said before turning around to get back to her station.
I saw my dad standing in the hall.
"Hurry!" he yelled, pointing to the door. "She's delivering now!"
I rushed past him into the room.
What I walked in on shocked me. Mallory was literally about to give birth. I know my dad had just said that, but seeing her was startling. Her feet were up in the stirrups and my mom was holding her hand. The doctor was between her legs and everything was right there.
"Just a couple more pushes, Mallory," the doctor said.
"I'm here," I said once I recovered from the shock of the scene.
I went to the side opposite my mom. She shook her head at me and gave me a stern look.
"I'm so sorry, Mal," I said as I leaned in to kiss her cheek. She pulled away from me.
"Here comes another contraction," the nurse said as she looked at a machine. "Get ready to push!"
When the contraction struck, Mallory sat slightly upright and started to push while the doctor counted to ten.
"I can see the head! You're doing great! Let's do another 10!" She then started counting again.
Mallory pushed again. I watched her and couldn't believe how hard she was working.
When the contraction was done she laid back down, breathing heavily.
"You are doing amazing!" I said to her.
She looked at me but said nothing. I deserved this, but it still hurt like hell. I'd failed her and I hated myself for that.
A few minutes later it was time to push again. I helped support Mal in the upright position and I counted along with the doctor.
"The head is out! One more good push!" Dr. Abbott said.
The counting started again. This time the doctor stopped at five. "It's a girl!" she said holding our baby up.
I looked at Mallory. "You did it! Look at her! She's perfect!"
The nurse took the baby and placed her on Mallory's chest. The doctor cut the cord. I'd planned on doing that, but she didn't even acknowledge me. I was probably the worst father she'd ever encountered.
Mallory held the baby and started to cry. "Hello, baby Grace," she said quietly.
I reached down and touched my daughter's head. She was so beautiful. I felt hot tears slide down my cheeks.
After five minutes or so, the nurse took Grace and weighed her and started to clean her up. She was 7 pounds 6 ounces and 20.5 inches long. She had fine brown hair and gray-blue eyes. She was the most beautiful little thing I'd ever laid eyes on.
"I'm going to go tell Manny," Karen said, leaning over to kiss Mal on the cheek.
"No! I want you to stay. Shawn can go tell him," Mallory said, reaching for my mom's hand.
I looked from Mallory to my mom. "I'll go." I didn't want to go, of course. I wanted to stay close to my newborn daughter, but I wasn't about to argue with her right now.
I stepped out in the hall where my dad was waiting.
"It's a girl!" I said, expecting my dad to be happy.
"Where the fuck were you?" he growled. He then grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me against the wall. "Do you have any idea what state your wife was in during labor because you weren't there?!"
"Dad, I'm sorry! My phone died."
He let go of me and took a step back, his eyes angry. "Where the hell did you go?Are you cheating on Mallory?"
"No! I was at a bar."
"I swear, if you are lying to me, and if you are deliberately hurting your wife, I'm going to be so fucking ashamed of you!"
"There's a bartender I like to talk to. I was just talking to her, I swear!"
I wasn't lying.
My mom stuck her head out the door. "We can hear you inside the room. Stop it!"
My dad took a seat on one of the chairs outside the room. "You made it in time?"
I sat next to him. "Barely. Why was her labor that fast?"
"Sometimes they go really quickly. It was stupid of you to go anywhere when your wife was this close to her due date."
"We had an argument, and I wasn't thinking straight. I never thought she'd go into labor."
"So you have a daughter, eh?" he said, a slight smile cracking his face.
"Her name is Grace and she's perfect."
"I bet she is. But why are you out here?"
I looked down at my hands. "Mallory kicked me out. Mom was going to step out and tell you, and Mal said for me to go instead."
"Well, you've told me. Maybe you should go back in now."
I wasn't sure how welcome I was in that room, but he was right. My baby was in there, and I needed to be there, too.
I got up and walked back in the room. The delivery bed had been transformed back into just a bed and Mallory was under several blankets. Grace was cleaned up and was wrapped tightly in a pink and blue striped blankie, a matching cap was on her head.
Dr. Abbott walked over to me. "If you are going to touch the baby, you need to wash your hands really well. If you've been drinking, you have to wait until you are sober to hold her."
I nodded. This whole interchange was embarrassing, but I understood where she was coming from. I went over to the sink. I pushed up my sleeves and started scrubbing my hands and arms. When I was done, I took my place next to my wife who ignored me.
The doctor left, and the nurse walked over to us.
"You should probably try breastfeeding the baby," she said.
I moved aside so that she could step in and help Mallory. It took several tries to get Grace latched on, but the nurse said that was normal. Mallory fed the baby for about ten minutes on each side.
"You're a natural," the nurse said with a big smile. "I'm going to go check on where we stand with getting your room ready."
I moved closer to Mallory who was holding Grace and just smiling at her adoringly.
"I'm going to step out and give you two some time alone," my mom said. This time Mallory didn't object.
When we were alone, I spoke. "I'm so sorry, Mal. I never thought you'd go into labor. Jesus, you must hate me."
"Maybe that's better than loving you, right?" she said icily.
"No. It's not."
"Who is she Shawn?"
I thought about playing dumb, but there was no point to that. She'd overheard and knew I was with someone.
"Her name is Beth. She owns a bar and sometimes I go there to talk to her. She's a great listener and has helped me work through stuff before."
Mallory just stared at me for a second. Grace, who'd fallen asleep, made a sound which made us both watch her for a bit.
"You aren't cheating on me? You weren't out fucking Beth?"
"I'm not cheating on you, honey. I would never cheat on you." I meant that.
"One last question. My gut is telling me I have to ask it." She paused. "Have you ever had sex with this bartender?"