WHILE CHLOE SAT behind the wheel and drove their shared police car to the right address, Izzy tried to ease her invasive thoughts by pointing out every dog on the street to Lucifer, and giving them all names. Of course, this had led to the man questioning what on Earth she was doing and why, and she had simply explained that it was a coping method that usually did the trick and helped her maintain focus on what truly mattered — which right now was the case, and the murderer they were after, and not the disorientation trying to get to her. But unfortunately, gushing over the adorable puppies didn't do much else except offer a momentary, fleeting joy that soon became replaced with twice as much darkness.
Gnawing at her bottom lip, deep in her thoughts, Izzy didn't even notice them pulling up at the driveway of a lovely apartment building until Lucifer was opening the door for her and blinding her eyes with the sudden daylight in the process. Without a word, he directed one of his infamous smirks at her before shoving the keys of the car into her hand, and as Chloe and her Civilian Consultant proceeded to walk towards the entrance of the right apartment, Isadora was left behind. "Ugh, focus, Iz. You got this. It's no big deal", the cop attempted to console herself as she quickly shut and locked the doors behind her, before rushing after her team and trying to be more present. She just needed to get through this, then she could fall apart in the bathroom of the precinct or unload her feelings in some other way.
Lucifer, brave and straightforward as always, was the one to push the parted door fully open so he could step in, while Chloe remained at a distance from the man — she seemed rather quiet, like something had happened earlier — but before Izzy could question the woman's frown, she was following the two of them inside and watching from aside as the Devil proceeded to confront the other redhead in the room — Lily, who they suspected of murdering her two neighbors, Daria and Naomi. Frankly, Izzy couldn't imagine what would ever drive a person to do that to their friends, quite literally stabbing them in the back.
As the most devilish of the trio started to rant about how you could take the girl out of Nebraska but not Nebraska out of the girl Izzy let her gaze wander around the fancy apartment, and in the process, her thoughts trailed off as well. She hated the nagging voice in the back of her head, but there was no silencing it. Things were changing — it was obvious, and she wasn't too good with changes that she didn't guide herself. She needed control to feel safe, and waking up with Mazikeen in the knowledge that the demon had taken care of her last night was way beyond that. She did like Maze, yes, but it was all rushing towards her so quickly, like a train she was bound to wreck with, and that was causing the pit in her stomach.
She needed things to go her way — and she knew that wasn't always possible, that wasn't how the world worked, and yet, if something went awry, it would lead to... well, this.
The thing that finally startled Izzy out of her thoughts was the sight of Lily grabbing Chloe and pressing the box cutter in her hand, against Detective Decker's neck, hard enough to slightly break the skin and leave blood dripping down in small droplets. Attempting to remain calm and collected for the sake of Chloe's survival — no doubt it would have been immensely easy for Lily, a murderer of two already, to swipe the knife with one swift movement and leave the detective bleeding out on the floor — Izzy drew out her gun, not hesitating at all to point it towards the woman standing in front of her.
"Put the knife down", the deputy demanded in a voice that was so low and steady, it surprised even herself. Lucifer agreed with her, trying to convince Lily to lower the cutter before any serious harm could be done, but their words went unheard, and the woman's stance didn't even flinch as she continued to pull the strings on the situation. And suddenly, something within Isadora snapped. Not as in she became completely outraged and started shooting around — more like the barrier holding back her anxiety and panic finally cracked, and she started to sweat and breathe more unevenly at the realization that she could not control even this moment here.
As Lucifer and Chloe attempted to distract Lily, Izzy continued to hold the gun up with shaky hands, but her concentration was fading away with each passing second, as her ears began to buzz and her thoughts roamed free through every nook and crack of her mind, forcing her to think about all the unpleasant things she had tried to suppress. Did I lock the doors? There's probably a gun in there. What if someone breaks into the car and takes it? It would be all my fault. That too. Everything is my fault. Oh God, I'm gonna die. I can't breathe. Great, I'm gonna suffocate. Would Mazikeen care? No. Why do you care if she cares? Shut up, shut up, shut up.
"Izzy!", Chloe's warning tone broke through just in time, and as Lily leaped forward with the knife aimed straight at Isadora's stomach, the redhead inhaled deeply and found a second of clarity so she could pull the trigger, causing a bullet to fly through the murderer's shoulder. It wasn't too serious of a wound, at least compared to what she could have done, but it was enough to take the woman down, before Chloe could smack her once or twice with a rolled-up yoga mat and yell about how there was a special place in Hell for women who used other women and faked friendships.
Exhaling out in relief as the thoughts drained out of her head, Izzy let her shoulders drop and allowed her grip on the gun to loosen, and once she was certain that Detective Decker had the killer handcuffed, she headed straight for the brisk air outside, to breathe the freshness into her lungs.
Lucifer was quick to follow on her tail, and lifting one of her hands up to reject whatever snarky comment he was about to let out, while the other rested against her forehead, Izzy groaned. "Not now, please", the deputy mumbled, not in the mood for his remarks, but instead of sassing her, the man fell into a state of genuine concern, walking around carefully until they were more or less face to face and he could inspect her in worry.
"I assure you, I have no other intentions but to ensure your well-being, Ms. Holt. How may I be of assistance, hm? Anything at all, you name it and I will do my best", Lucifer devoted his attention to her entirely, and rubbing her temples, Isadora gathered that she must have looked truly nightmarish to earn the Devil's sympathy, but instead of worrying about what a dumpster fire she looked like, Izzy thought about the things that usually helped her — what would pull her through this.
"Keys", she breathed out, before fumbling with her pockets, "I need to see if the car doors are locked", and with that, she was suddenly leaping into the wrong direction, but with Lucifer gently guiding her by her shoulders — still keeping his distance though, to avoid creating a sense of suffocation — she found the car, and after opening and locking the doors again and again and spotting the back-up gun still in the car, that familiar momentary relief kicked in and she let out a content sigh.
But, the peace didn't last for long, when Chloe's voice was reaching from the apartment, with the handcuffed woman being dragged with her. "Izzy! Are you okay?", the blonde rushed to Isadora's side, and covering her face with both palms, the woman resisted a deep, disappointed groan as a response.
"Chloe, I'm so sorry—", she began, already fearing the worst and knowing that she had screwed up once more, but she wasn't allowed to finish when Detective Decker had interjected.
"No, don't be sorry. We're all in one piece. Stuff like that — you can't do much about it. Don't worry about it. Uh, I've called for back-up, and we're gonna have to stay behind for a while but Dan's coming and he'll give you a ride back to the precinct", she smiled sympathetically, and as the shivers started to wear off and Izzy felt air flow through her system again, she forced a weak attempt at the same. Of course, she could have done something about it, but she appreciated Chloe's support nonetheless, and the reassurance did have a positive effect on her.
And she was right — they had all survived, and in a way, Izzy had saved the situation by taking Lily down. And with the anxiety slowly wearing off, but only for a moment, she knew that her next goal was to find Maze and make a request she hadn't realized she needed, not until now.
—————
DAN HAD BEEN nothing short of careful and worried with his friend, making sure Izzy made herself comfortable in the car, asking whether or not the radio should be on — the answer was yes, listening to Wanted Dead or Alive worked wonders — and stopping by a nearby fast-food chain to pick up some food for the redhead for whenever she'd feel hungry enough to eat, and some fries for Benjamin, who was apparently still nursing his hangover at the department.
Once they had arrived at the precinct and Izzy had offered to take care of the paperwork that was destined to follow the situation at the apartment, Dan had insisted on her taking a moment to collect herself — hell, he even offered his pudding for her. Luckily, there was no need to resort to such outrageous sacrifices, but instead, Izzy was already feeling physically better, and there was even a slight dazzle of a smile on her lips as she gave his boss a quick hug of gratitude, tipping more to their friendship rather than a professional relationship. But with some fries in her mouth and her heartbeat returning to normal, there was no way she could feel any less than undoubtedly lucky to have such a wonderful work environment with amazing co-workers like these.
A fair hour later, when Izzy felt ready to socialize again, she was on the hunt for Benjamin, who was rather easy to locate — the man was kicking a vending machine desperately, with his earphones loud enough for anyone near him to hear the Beyoncé song playing through. Concluding from the hood pulled over his mess of a hair and the lack of spark in his eyes, the repercussions of partying with Lucifer and Dan were impossible to ignore. That was why Izzy was beyond happy to tap on the man's shoulder, and earn his attention before she handed the bag of junk food for him.
Sighing happily, he smiled approvingly at the deputy. "You're the best", Benji praised the woman before digging into the fries at the bottom of the greasy bag.
Instantly cheered up in his company, Izzy beamed and offered a shrug in return. "As much as I'd like to take credit, Dan got this. His money, not mine", she crossed her arms and leaned against the vending machine, eyeing the youngest Espinoza as he devoured the food in front of him. "You know, he's really happy you're back. He's always talking about you", she eventually nudged him, and looking up at her with a cocky smile, Ben nodded.
"Of course he is. I'm irresistible. But, I am happy to be back. Back with him", he elaborated, but barely seconds later, he was sneakily changing the subject. "How'd it go with Ma—Uh, Maz— You know, her", Benjamin awkwardly cleared his throat, unsure what the right name was, but concluding from the hint of pink that spread over Izzy's cheeks, she knew exactly who he was talking about. "From the looks of it, it was intense", the man continued, nodding towards the bruises on the cop's face.
"Mazikeen", Izzy corrected, almost too quickly, which widened Benjamin's teasing smile. "It was, um, okay", she began, glancing down at her feet as she took deep breaths and reminded herself of the better parts of last night. Sure, waking up in Lucifer's penthouse had been overwhelming, but from what she could remember, girls' night hadn't been half-bad. "She's awesome. Could and would murder me and I'm...", she started, but her voice trailed off when her eyes found the very same demon seating herself on the other side of Detective Decker's desk, where Chloe sat as well. "So gay", Izzy continued with an amazed sigh, earning a snort from Benjamin.
Snapping out of her thoughts then, Izzy turned back to Benjamin, who was munching on a cheeseburger hungrily. "I heard you guys had quite the party too. I guess this is where I ask, how'd it go with Lucifer?", she flashed a grin, and this time, it was Benji's turn to grow shy and sheepish. But, he'd never admit that.
"A gentleman never shares the details", he simply smiled at Izzy, and with that, he was parting ways with her, heading over to Chloe — who had apparently promised him a ride home — and in the meanwhile, Isadora took the opportunity to confront Maze.
She could see the dark-haired woman disappearing behind the corner while eating Chloe's donuts, and erupting into a casual sprint to catch her before she could vanish from the precinct, Izzy called out her name carefully. "Maze, hey", the words tumbled out of her mouth quicker than expected, and yet she was surprised when Mazikeen actually turned around and met her gaze, causing her heart to drop through the floorboards and sink into the depths of Hell if such a place did in fact exist.
"Officer", Maze had a hint of a smile on her lips as she greeted her friend curiously, offering her the last bite of the donut, but more tempted by the sugar on her lips, Izzy shook her head. Still, she remained under control and reminded herself what she was there to say — she needed to put some kind of boundaries on this... well, whatever this was.
"Can we talk?"
»»»
okok that ending sounds reaaaal ominous, but this just turned out so long that i had to cut it off somewhere 🤔
anyway, a lot happened! even if it doesn't seem like it, and this is kind of a filler chapter, it is pretty significant because now we've seen izzy and her ocd at the worst times, whereas the rest of this story is mostly better times. i felt it was important, though, and i really hope you agree!
on top of that, some benji and izzy bonding ((: if you've read light me up, the last scene seems familiar because i just edited it a little bit, but in the end it's still the same conversation. though i did change some lines, but i still haven't edited them in light me up so if you guys spot any continuity errors, it's just me being lazy.
hopefully the next update won't take me 2 weeks,, and please leave me your thoughts! thank you ❤️