The Love Code (BoyxBoy)

Just Talk To Me

•Damien's POV•

I lay in the bed of my New York penthouse, staring up at the ceiling as I contemplate all of the different ways today could've went.

Anything is better than thinking about how it actually went.

Although I wish I could just not think about it at all because it fucking hurts.

After he sped off in his car, I basically just lost my shit right there. Julia and Javier were in the parking garage in the next minute or so but I didn't want to hear their voices.

I didn't want to hear anyone's voice but his, but he had made it very clear he'd rather hear anyone's voice but mines.

I ignored Javier and Julia, going to the valet and taking a key, I don't even know who's fucking key I took but I climbed into their car and now I'm here.

Now I'm here.

I mean I guess I understand, I understand but he doesn't.

He doesn't know that I didn't abandon him in that hotel room. I didn't leave to save my own ass, or because I was too scared, or...because I didn't love him.

I left for him.

I left because I knew the type of life Steven wanted before I shoved my tongue down his throat that night. I knew that he would never get anywhere in life if we tried to stay there and fight our parents for acceptance.

And I knew for sure my parents would never let me back into their house.

I knew Steven still had a chance, and I knew I needed to swallow the bitter truth that the only way that chance would be possible is without me holding him back.

If he would just -- fuck if he'd just let me explain.

I sigh, running my hand over my face to collect the tears that are still falling. I hear knocking at the penthouse door.

I figured that they'd get here quick, but I know they'll try to make me fly back to California as soon as possible just to get away from this...to get away from him.

And I know they mean well, they know how much leaving home, leaving Cody behind, leaving himbehind hurt me. I know they have my best interest in mind but what they don't know is that I'm not about to leave New York.

I'm not about to leave New York until I talk to Steven.

He can continue to want nothing to do with me after we talk, it'll hurt, and it'll probably take me years to get over it but I'll deal with it.

I just need to explain the situation to him, how everything really played out.

I just need him to hear me out.

And I know I don't deserve it. I don't deserve for him to hear my pleads because I caused him that pain.

This is all my fault. I know, I know that

But I'm trying to fix it.

I'm going to fix it.

I hear the bedroom door open. The last thing I have the strength to do is lift my head and see the pity that I know is in their eyes.

I feel the foot of the bed dip, knowing it's Julia. Her hand grabs my arm just as another tear falls.

I fucking hate crying.

I hate it.

''Son, I booked you a flight. It leaves in—''

''I'm not getting on the plane,'' I say, interrupting Javier. I take my arm from Julia's grip, bringing my hand to my face to wipe the fallen tears.

''Fine, I'll get the jet gassed up for—''

''I'm not leaving New York,'' I clarify for him. ''I'm not leaving New York until I talk to Steven. I'm fucking serious, so don't give me any shit about it because I'm not changing my mind.'' I state to them.

I hear them both sigh. Julia's hand finds my arm again and I feel her squeeze gently.

''Damien if this is because you feel like...like you owe him something, you don't. You don't have to put your mental stability on the line for—''

I don't know what the hell came over me in the next second. But I lost all the cool I had left in my body.

Maybe Julia hit a trigger.

But I would never mean to fire at her.

I sat up in the bed, ripping my arm from her grip.

''You don't know a goddamn thing about what I owe him! You're sticking your nose into shit that isn't any of your fucking business Julia. Mind yours.'' I yell at her.

''Damien stop talking,—''

''You're right. You and him are none of my fucking business, but Damien,you're my business. My shoulders were covered in your tears as you told me how much what happened destroyed you. It fucked you up Damien. And fucking spare me because I'm not saying it didn't fuck him up too, but you could've died out there in California during those two years you spent homeless and this kid had the audacity to look you in your eyes and refuse to give you the time of day. You gave your life up for him and he couldn't even give you a fucking minute! I'm worried—''

''He had a right to do everything he did—''

''Oh god, Damien. If you feel like this kids' actions are justified, you might as well add him to the same payroll your parents are on because pretty soon they won't be the only ones screwing you over.'' Julia says.

I feel the pain from her words hit me at my deepest core.

I look at her and all I can see is regret in her eyes but despite that all I feel is anger.

Did she really just say that to me?

I feel my hands as they involuntarily ball into fist. There's so much anger coursing through my body. Red is flickering in and out of my vision.

I see Javier take a step closer to the bed. And there's this gnawing voice in the back of my mind. It's my voice.

You are not your Father.

You don't hit females.

You do the right thing.

You are not your Father.

This isn't you.

Find yourself Damien, find yourself.

I feel Javier's arm wrap around me with a bear hug grip. He pulls me out of my bed and out of the room. I look to him and see his lips moving, but I can't hear a word he's saying.

I don't know what the hell just happened.

I'm fading out.

''Yeah but you never do your homework, Steven does. So why do I always have to do mines?'' Cody whines, toying with the pencil in his hand instead of actually doing his work like I told him to.

'Because you don't have a sexy ass fuckbuddy named Steven,' I wanted to reply with. But of course, I restrained myself.

''Damn you ask a lot of questions for a twelve-year-old. Just hurry up and do your homework before mom finishes dinner and I'll let you come to practice with me tomorrow.'' I promise him.

He continued working, a smile grazing his lips.

It kind of made me happy that he loved football so much simply because I loved football so much.

I grab the plates from the kitchen, walking into the dining room and setting the table for dinner.

I go back into the living room and see Cody putting his books into his backpack.

''You really expect me to believe that you finished that fast?'' I ask him, looking at him with a knowing smirk.

''Um...yeah?'' He says, more like asks, making me laugh.

''C'mon Cody, doing it is only half the process, it has to be right.'' I tell him seriously.

His green eyes turn angry. He has our mothers' green eyes, he's so lucky. I'm a splitting image of our father with my ice cold blue eyes.

I guess that's why I'm so fucked up.

''That's easy for you to say, you don't do the work at all Damien. It's not easy to me.'' He complains, stating a valid point.

I take his backpack from him, brushing my hand through his hair playfully.

''Look, I'm sorry I didn't know you were struggling. And don't feel bad because I get it, on the occasions that I do my own work it's not easy for me either. I'll get Steven to help you when he comes over tomorrow.'' I assure him, handing him his bag back.

''Go help mom put the food on the table,'' I tell him.

I take a seat on the couch. Just as I put my feet on the coffee table and began to relax I hear the all too familiar sound of the front door slamming open.

And just when I thought today was going to be a good day.

''Bethany! Beth! Where are you, you no good piece of shit,'' I could practically smell the liquor seeping from his lips and I'm nowhere near him.

In the next second Cody is running out of the kitchen and into my arms, I stand to my feet pulling him into a protective embrace.

I hear the sound of glass breaking, then the front door being locked.

''Bitch can't even keep the house clean. Bethany come clean this up!'' He yells out.

The house is fucking spotless. Or at least it was before he broke the fucking vase by the front door.

When my Mother isn't on her hands and knees scrubbing the place until it shines, I'm rushing home to clean it spotless before he gets home because only god knows what would happen if it wasn't.

I feel it, and it's like it's destroying everything sane in my body. It's my breaking point, I can feel it coming, and there's only so much more of my Father's shit I can take before I snap.

And I can't for the life of me wrap my head around why my Mother won't leave him already. All the shit he puts us through.

She has a job. We wouldn't be as rich as we are now, but we'd be well off and honestly, I'd take the three of us stuffed in a two-bedroom apartment any-day in exchange for us to not be in this house with this abusive bastard.

I feel Cody shaking in my arms.

''Go to my room and lock the door. Don't unlock it Cody. Look at me, I'm serious,'' I tell him. He looks up at me with fear filled green eyes. ''Don't open the door unless I tell you to.''

He nods his head, running off in the direction of the basement. With all the rooms in this house you'd wonder why I would pick the basement to live in.

Maybe because it's the only room that locks from the inside.

I sit back down on the couch, knowing this isn't going to end well.

I hope this drunken bastard just goes to bed.

''I'm getting the broom! I just had to get the pan out the oven.'' I hear my mother say. I can tell she's shaking from the tremble of her voice.

A deep sigh leaves my lips.

I hear her sweeping up the broken glass. He hasn't said anything in a while. Maybe he passed out in the kitchen or something.

Maybe this can still be a good night.

Maybe I should stop trying to be an optimist.

''You stupid cunt!'' My Father yells.

I hear something hit the wall...or someone, and then my mother screams as the sound of her body hitting the floor rings in my ears.

I stand on my feet, slowly making my way over to them.

I'm scared.

But so is Cody. So is my Mother.

I step into the walkway near the front door to see his hands around her neck, choking the life out of her as she grips his wrists with her hands. I see the tears in her eyes and the whiteness of her knuckles as she tries to pry him off of her.

Thinking impulsively, I grab a shard of the glass that she had swept into a neat pile and stab it in his arm.

I intake a sharp breath of air as I feel the glass cut my hand.

Her breath of relief and his scream of agony sound off simultaneously as he releases his hold on her.

He pulls the glass from his arm and before I can even swing to defend myself he backhands me.

He has weight over me, he has height over me, he has everything over me as I stumble back from that hit.

''Jared! Don't, he's your son!'' I hear my Mother screaming as he advances on me.

And I could run.

I could make it back to my room. He's too drunk to catch me.

But what about my Mother?

He's just going to keep choking the life out of her if I don't give him myself to take his anger out on.

Flesh for flesh.

He's so close now that I can smell the whiskey on his breath. He slings me to the ground.

Now my cries are what's floating in the air. I brought my arms up to cover my face as best as I could. I'd say he got about five good punches in before his spit was flying in my face.

''That-That is my wife!'' He yells out in a drunken slur, ''And this is my house! And I'm going to do what I g-goddamn please! Don't you disrespect me boy.'' He gets off of me, stumbling up the stairs.

When he's out of site I roll onto my side, coughing up the blood that's sitting at the back of my throat.

My Mother's at my side in the next second, her trembling hands trying to shove a bag of frozen peas in my face.

''I'm so sorry baby,'' She cries to me. I shove the peas away, making my way to my feet.

''I'm fine,'' I lie to her, walking quickly to the bathroom. I lock the door behind me.

I dreadfully look up into the mirror.

There's a scratch beneath my eye, not to mention it's bloodshot now. My nose is busted, my lip is bleeding, and there's a cut across the inside of my hand.

A pain filled sigh leaves my lips as I spit more blood into the bathroom sink. I cup my hands on top of my nose, swearing every word in the book as I snap it back into place.

This isn't the first time I've had to do that.

I take a few deep breaths, pushing the pain away, far away.

Grabbing a towel, I clean my face up as much as I can before leaving the bathroom and heading to my room.

I twist the knob, happy to find it locked as I knock on the door.

''It's me, Cody.'' I say, the door opening a minute later. He pulls me into the room, wrapping his arms around me tightly. I lock the door, wrapping my arm around his shoulder as I walk us down the stairs.

We make it over to my bed. We're sitting down but Cody has yet to let go of me.

''I don't want to sleep here tonight. It doesn't feel safe, Damien. I'm scared.'' He mumbles into my side, his tears soaking my blood-stained shirt.

I close my eyes, feeling the tears coming.

''I know, I know.'' I say, rubbing calming circles over his back.

I pry myself free from his grip, reaching under my bed for my duffle bag. I hand it to him.

''Pack some clothes for a couple days, we're about to go.'' I tell him.

''Where?'' He asks me, hugging the bag to his body.

''Don't worry about it. Now hurry up, go.'' I reply.

He leaves my room, quietly rushing to his room.

I stand up, walking over to my dresser and getting my phone.

As I'm changing my shirt I hit the call button.

It rings three times, then I hear his voice and for some reason it puts me at ease.

''Yeah, um, it's been one of those nights. Can we come over?'' I ask him.

''Of course, are you okay? Is Cody okay?'' I hear the worry lace his voice immediately.

''Yeah, we'll be there in about twenty minutes.'' I say.

''Okay, just text me when you get here. I have to sneak you guys in through the side door.'' He replies.

I grab my car keys from off my dresser.

''Steven,'' I say, I can hear my voice cracking. ''Thank you for this.'' I say before hanging up, feeling the tears fall from my eyes.

I feel something cool on my head, pulling me back into the moment and away from my memories. I try to sit up and someone's hand is on my chest, pushing me back down.

''Take a few more breaths before you get up, Damien.'' I hear Javier say to me.

I open my eyes, looking up at the ceiling of the penthouse living room.

I'm laying on the couch. I tilt my head upwards a bit to see Javier sitting on the arm of the couch, looking at me. His eyes that are usually so clear of anything are now filled with concern.

I bring my hand up to my face, removing the cool washcloth from my forehead and tossing it to the floor. I sit up on the couch, resting my head in my hands and my elbows on my knees.

''Please tell me I didn't swing on Julia,'' I beg, ''I'm so sorry Javie, I blacked out. I just-I just couldn't believe she said that to me. It took me to a place, such a dark place. For a minute...for a minute I felt like I could've been my father.'' I admit to him honestly, feeling a heavy cloud loom over me. I look over at him.

''Damien of course you didn't swing on her.'' Javier says seriously, giving me an immense amount of relief. He came and sat next to me on the couch.

''I did see you losing yourself though. But I saw you fighting with it, fighting with your anger. Damien if your anger is getting to be too much again let me know—''

''It's not like that Javier, I'm better now.'' I promise him.

Javier sighs.

''Damien, you don't know how it looked in that room. That situation could've gone horribly wrong. I want to believe that you would've won the war over your anger, but either way what if I had not been there to pull you away? It's okay if your anger issues are coming back, I can help you, Damien I've helped you before and I can help you now,'' He assures me, his voice tender.

But the last thing I want to do is disappoint him. We ran through so many Doctors just to find one who could help me. Because once Javier put a roof over my head the nightmares started, then the sudden fits of anger, then it became uncontrollable.

I just lashed out over the simplest things. Someone could accidentally bump me and apologize for it, yet Javier still had to stop me from pummeling their face in.

So, there's the truth.

My father really fucked me up.

But I'm better now.

And that's in my past.

''No, no I'm okay. I can deal with it Javier, I promise, I've got this.'' I tell him. He looks not at all convinced.

''Let me make you an appointment anyway. Tomorrow, we'll both go. Do this for me, Damien. It'll ease my worry son.'' He says, knowing I won't be able to tell him no to something like this.

''Okay,'' I agree, ''Okay, but I swear to you it's just my emotions and stress and shit. I'm fine Javier. Everything is just happening so suddenly, I saw my mother a couple days ago, Cody's playing tonsil hockey with Skyler, and I saw Steven today. I'm just a bit overwhelmed, that's all.''

Javier looks up from his phone, one eyebrow raised.

''Cody's doing what now?'' Javier asks, giving me his full attention.

''Fuck, I don't think I was supposed to tell you that. I think he wanted to tell you that.'' I mumble, rubbing my hand over my face.

''Yeah, it's too late for that. Spill it,'' He says in his Father voice.

''Umm,'' I hum, looking around the room. ''Where's Julia?'' I ask in attempt to get out of the conversation. ''I should apologize. I hate the fact that she had to see me that way. She's probably so fucking confused and upset, she doesn't know about my father and I've never snapped on her like that. I should've just shut up when you told me to.'' I sigh out, closing my eyes for a second and shoving the salty liquid away.

Javier places his hand on my shoulder, pulling me into him for a hug. I welcome it, because honestly I miss crying like a fucking baby in Javier's arms.

I miss telling him all my problems and having him swear to me he'd take care of it, and him seeing his promises through every fucking time.

I miss not having to be strong for myself. I miss him being strong for me and me not having to deal with so much shit at once.

Fuck.

But now here I am.

I have to deal with all my responsibilities myself. I feel like I'm whining, but at the same time I feel like I have a right to be.

I feel like I'm caring the fucking world on my shoulders.

This shit isn't easy.

Damn.

''I told her to take a few days off and cool down. She'll be alright, Damien.'' Javier says.

I groan, resting my head on his shoulder. I didn't even know I was crying again until I tasted the salty liquid as it dripped into my mouth.

''You shouldn't have done that. Now she's going to think it's her fault.'' I complain.

''I didn't assign blame, Damien. Your anger issues aren't her fault. But, she is at fault for what she said to you. I personally think that it was beyond out of line. I understand that he's a touchy subject for you and that both you and Julia were very emotional, so I'll let you deal with it how ever you see fit.'' Javier says.

He's being more calm about this than I thought he'd be.

I mean of course he's not going to pick sides, he's not that type of man. Plus, both of us were at fault, so that wouldn't make any sense.

''Thank you. I know she's going to apologize too. She looked like she wanted to take the words back as soon as she said it, but she did say it and that's what hurts so bad.'' I admit.

''Julia's family now. And I understand your pain, but I know you two will talk it out, you'll get past this.'' Javier says, freeing me from his embrace as he stands up.

I relax on the couch as he walks into the kitchen.

''Javier you know I have to ask,'' I say to him as he walks back into the living room. He hands me one of the beers in his hand while reoccupying his seat next to me.

''Damien, I didn't know it was him,'' He says to me honestly.

But it doesn't make any fucking sense.

But Javier would never lie to me.

''I'll admit, I did have my suspicions. The look he had in his eyes when he stared at that photo of you in my office, that's what really made me believe it might be him. When I felt these suspicions could've been true I tried to set up that meeting with the three of us. But you know just how well that went over Damien.'' Javier explains. An aggravated sigh leaves my lips.

''Why didn't you just show me a fucking picture, or something?'' I demand from him.

''Because I didn't want to drag up that part of your past and have it not be him. I was doing my best to protect you Damien. I thought about how much it would hurt you if I gave you hope about it and it turned out it wasn't him. You have to understand son, everything I did in this situation was with your best interest in mind.'' Javier says, sitting his beer on the coffee table in front of us.

He's right.

Fuck, why am I blaming him for this?
If I would've just showed up to that fucking meeting like I was supposed to, maybe he would've talked to me.

He showed up to the meeting. That must mean something right? It must mean that some part of him does want to talk to me, to hear me out.

Or at least I hope it does.

''Can you give me his information?'' I ask Javier seriously.

I feel hope, and I have to move with it before my anger swamps it up.

And I guess my anger is something I'll be dealing with soon as well.

In therapy.

With Javier.

''No,'' Javier answers firmly.

''What?'' I ask confused. ''Javie stop playing, just give me his address and his number.'' I tell him.

''Damien, I'm not playing with you. The last thing I need is to have our lawyers and PR team dealing with a trespassing and stalking case.''

''I'm not going to stalk him.'' I clarify.

''I know, but you get what I'm trying to say.''

''Javier I need this from you. I really do. Help me, please just help me.'' I beg. Javier shakes his head.

''No Damien, no. For one it's illegal to share an employees' information, two you should give him what he asks for, and if that's space then so be it, and three we'll talk about tomorrow, because best believe I have my own opinions about this entire situation but I feel like you've dealt with enough shit today.'' Javier states. He picks his beer up, taking another swig from it.

I'm asking Javier to be polite.

I don't need him to get Steven's information. I could always steal it.

''And Damien if you go behind my back with this, we're going to have a problem.'' He says, and I can feel the parental vibes radiating from him.

It makes me laugh.

''Like an 'oh fuck, my son just stole from me' problem, or more like an 'oh fuck, one of my employees just stole from me' type of problem?'' I joke.

''I'll surprise you,'' He says, giving me one of his warning smiles that basically reads 'test me'. ''So, there's really nothing I can say to make you get on that plane and go back to California?'' Javier tries once more.

I shake my head. I'm not going anywhere until I see Steven again.

''I mean there's a lot you can say to make me get on that plane, but none of it will end well for you and I's relationship Javier.'' I say to him honestly.

He can say many things that'll have me hightailing my ass back to California without as much as a second thought.

He can say he'll cut me out of this lavish lifestyle he's blessed me with which means I'll have no way to support Cody. And my baby brother is my number one priority.

No matter what.

And it hurt me to leave him. It hurt like hell. But I know...I know if I would've gone back to my house myfather would've killed me.

So I had to ask myself if I was better to Cody dead, or better to him gone.

It destroyed me inside to leave him in that house with our poor excuse for parents. But I almost died when I was homeless on the streets.

I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I ever thought about my brother going through what I went through those two years.

And I'm so fucking grateful that I don't have to think about shit like that, because he's with me and he's safe.

I'm getting my life back.

It has taken me seven fucking yearsto have the opportunity to stare into those beautiful brown eyes again, and I don't care how long it takes me to do it, somehow, I'm going to get Steven back.

A heavy sigh leaves Javier's lips.

''Damien you and Cody are such important elements of my life. You're my children in every sense of the word,'' Javier pauses, looking me in my eyes, ''I don't agree with your decision to stay here, not in the slightest, but as your father I will support and respect that you're an adult and you're capable of making your own decisions regarding your past.''

Like I said, there were many things he could've said to me to make me get on that plane. And he knows what they were. But fuck am I thankful for what he just said.

''I should call Cody,'' I say, standing up from the couch, ''I need to tell him what's going on.''

''Speaking of Cody—''

''Javier I really think you should just ask him about it. He wants to tell you himself. He won't lie to you, trust me. Hell, maybe he'll even tell you more than he told me, just ask.'' I tell him.

I walk in the direction of the balcony. I open the sliding door, welcoming the fresh air as I step onto the balcony, sliding the door closed behind me.

I pull my phone from my pocket, dialing Cody's number.

The phone rings for a while. It's eleven something over here so I know it's only eight o'clock over there.

He finally picks up.

''Hey, what were you doing?'' I ask, hearing him catching his breath.

''They guys are over, we're hanging out in the pool. I had to run inside to get my phone. I figured it was you because you're the only person who calls me instead of just texting.'' Cody says, lingering attitude on that last part.

''Are you trying to call me old?'' I ask him, laughing.

''I mean if I'm in my prime, then what are you?'' He asks sarcastically.

''The person who's paying for that pool you were just in,'' I counter quickly, hearing him laugh.

''Yeah, yeah. So are you on your way home? I need you to sign some papers for school.''

''No, actually. Um...--''

''Are you okay?'' He asks quickly, I can hear the concern in his voice. Worrying him is not what I want to do.

''Cody I'm fine. Look, I'm going to be staying in New York for a few more days—''

''Why? For how long?''

''Damn captain questions, slow down I'm trying to explain it to you. It'll be just a week at the most I swear—''

''Damien a week is a long time. It's going to be the longest amount of time I go without seeing you since those five years! I don't think I can handle that.'' He says seriously. I sigh.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, me.

''I'll call you every day, you'll be alright. Invite Sca—''

Fuck, the realization hit me before I could finish the sentence. He can't invite Scarlet to stay the week because they just broke up.

I guess he figured out where I was heading with that, replying quickly.

''So she can slap the fuck out of me again? No thank you.''

''Language,'' I warn.

''Just book me a flight up there. I can make it to the airport in thirty minutes.'' He says. I hear his feet hitting the steps as he races upstairs to pack a bag.

Another sigh leaves my lips. I can't let him stay there if he's uncomfortable.

Every time I leave him, even when it's only for three days at the most, he gets so fucking terrified that our parents are going to somehow find out where we live, break into the house and take him back to live with them.

I understand.

I get it. I have my own nightmares, and this inconvenient ass anger problem that just won't go away.

This is why I usually try to keep my trips at a two-day minimum, three-day maximum. And then there's usually Scarlet there with him, sex is a good distraction I've learned, so that his anxiety won't be so on edge.

''Okay,'' I give in.

I don't want to leave New York without seeing Steven, but I can't leave my brother in California.

Priorities.

I need to get my fucking priorities straight.

''Okay, I'll book your flight for ten o'clock. I guess now we can talk when you get here. Text me when you get to the airport, not while you're driving.'' I tell him, saying goodbye before hanging up.

I book the flight on my phone, sending him the information before putting my phone back into my pocket.

Just as I step through the sliding door and back into the penthouse I feel the weight of today hit me.

I'm fucking exhausted.

Cody should be here in about six or seven hours. That gives me just enough time to figure out if it's actually possible to sleep your stress away.

''Why don't you just sleep here tonight? It's practically tomorrow already.'' I say to Javier, entering the kitchen to see him putting his jacket back on.

''I have a video conference in three hours. Businesses don't sleep, son.'' Javier replies.

I walk him to the door.

''You work too much.'' I scold him. I step forward, giving him a hug. He laughs.

''Tomorrow, don't forget the session.'' He says, leaving.

I make my way to my bedroom, collapsing onto the bed.

Geez, it seems like the ease of this morning is nothing but a distant memory.

I already know that nothing beyond this point is going to be easy.

I stay awake a little while longer, just until I get the text from Cody, and then I let sleep pull me under.

''Does he need another blanket?'' Steven asks, entering his room from the bathroom.

I'm sitting on the floor. I look next to me at Cody who's fast asleep on the pallet I had made for him. I pull the duvet on him more, running my hand through his messy brown hair.

''No, he's fine.'' I say, getting to my feet and walking over to Steven's bed to take a seat.

''Steven,'' I sigh out. Before I can even say it though, he's interrupting me.

''Damien stop thanking me. I'm here for you, you know that.'' Steven replies.

He drops the towel that's around his waist, slipping into some pajama bottoms.

I lay back on his bed, closing my eyes.

You know I'm dealing with shit when I don't take any and all opportunities to check out his perfect little ass.

I feel something wet brush beneath my eye, followed by a stinging sensation. I open my eyes, sitting up to see Steven holding a cotton ball in one hand and a first aid kit in the other.

''You lied to me,'' He says, going to brush the cotton swab against my face again.

I catch his hand in mines, then groan in pain as I stretch the cut on my hand. He takes my hand in his own, examining it.

His caramel brown eyes turn angry. He turns my hand so that I can see the cut.

''You know how much I hate it whenyou lie to me!'' He whisper yells. I roll my eyes. ''Don't roll your eyes at me Damien, I'm serious.''

''I'm fine,'' I say, pulling my hand away from his grip, only to have him grip my hand again.

''You're not fine. Stop lying to me, Damien. I hate what the fuck he does to you. If you could see your face right now you'd get why I'm so angry. This isn't okay! You're not okay!'' He says angrily.

I bring my good hand up to brush across his face, hoping to diminish some of the anger on his face.

It doesn't work.

''Damien you promised me!'' Steven says.

''I know,'' I sigh, running my hand over my face.

''Clearly you don't! You promised me last time that you'd leave before it got violent. I'm tired of seeing him hurt you.'' Steven says. I can tell he's fighting with his emotions.

He doesn't know whether he wants to cry or take a swing at me himself.

Not that he'd ever do that. Steven is the only safe place I have.

And finding safety in another person is something that I didn't know was possible.

''Steven you have to understand that if I would've left, he would've used my mother as his punching bag. I can take his hits, I can, but she can't.'' I say.

Steven rubs the peroxide covered cotton ball over my lip.

''I fucking hate your mother for staying with him.'' He says.

''I fucking hate both my parents for bringing me into this world.'' I complain, feeling the sting from the peroxide.

''Don't say that,'' Steven replies. He takes my hand, cleaning the cut and wrapping it up in a bandage. ''You and Cody were the only thing they did right.'' He says, leaning forward.

I met him halfway, my lips touching his in a quick, gentle kiss.

After he cleans me up to his definition of perfection, I strip down to my boxers. I lay next to him in his bed.

He brings the cover up over both of us, and he rests his head on my chest.

Inwardly, I wince.

I won't tell him how much fucking pain that puts me in because I want to feel his body on mines and I know if he knows I'm in pain he'll insist he sleep on the other side of the bed.

But what I need tonight isn't distance.

''Damien I can't even count on my fingers how many times he's done this to you,'' I hear Steven say. ''It makes me so angry.''

I rub my hand over his back, kissing the top of his head.

''I really don't want to talk about it anymore.'' I say quietly. Steven sits up, and even in his dimly lit room I can see the anger seeping back into his eyes.

''And what about the next time then?'' He asks. ''Do you want to just lay here time and time again and pretend like you got those bruises from the football field?!''

''Preferably, yeah. I don't want to fucking talk about it, and I don't want to fucking think about it. Drop it, Steven.''

''No!''

''What the fuck is your problem?'' I ask him, sitting up in the bed. ''You weren't too fucking concerned when I'd change in the locker room and you'd see the bruises on my body. Some fucking best friend you were, so what now that we're fuck buddies your number one priority is to rescue me from the big bad wolf?''

''Yes, Damien, damn right it is. Excuse me for not feeling like I had the fucking right to ask you about them before we started this thing that we have, but now that we are fucking around you're my number one priority so deal with it. And don't even try to shame me alone on this one because yeah I should've asked you about the bruises sooner, but you should've told me too.'' He says.

I close my eyes, sighing.

''I don't want to fight with you,'' I tell him, laying back on the bed and pulling him down so that he can rest his head on my chest again.

He wraps his arm around me, cuddling into my side.

''I don't want to fight either. But I know if I'm mad you're mad too. I just want you to talk to me about it. About anything. Get some of your anger out Damien.'' Steven says, rubbing circles over my stomach.

I smile, rolling over so that I'm on top of him.

''There's more than one way I can get my anger out.'' I whisper, leaning my head down to suck on his nipple.

I feel his hands grip my shoulders.

''Damien your brother is on my bedroom floor and my entire family is in the house, we are not fooling around.'' He says, but I can already feel him caving.

My hand caresses his thigh as I grind against him slowly, feeling myself harden.

It's been a while since we've touched each other. And a while for me is simply a day or two.

''C'mon, cheer me up.'' I beg. His hands begin to run through my hair, as my lips linger on his neck.

''Fine, fine Damien! Stop it!'' He says, laughing as I tickle him just so I can see his adorable dimples.

He leans up and kisses me, pushing me on the bed so he can climb on top.

''Promise me you'll just talk to me next time,'' He says in between kisses. My hands are cupping his sexy ass that I neglected to stare at earlier.

He grips me in his hands firmly, ''Promise me,'' He says in a threatening tone.

He fails at scaring me, instead getting me rock hard in his hands.

I love it when he talks to me like that.

''Mmm, I promise.'' I moan, kissing his lips again.

I sit up in bed. I feel the cold sweat that has broken out on my forehead.

Just great.

Now I can't even sleep.

''I guess now it's your turn, Steven,'' I mumble to myself, resting my head back on my pillow. ''Please just talk to me.''

•°A/N°•

I don't care what anyone says, I feel like I'm slowly improving on this updating thing. ^_^

It's like walking in heels, lmao one foot in front of the other.

Anyway...

How do you feel about this chapter?

How do you feel about the flashbacks?

Not that we're picking sides or anything...but what are your thoughts on that argument between Damien & Julia?

Now that you've got somewhat of a better perspective on Damien's parents, what do you think of them?

Damien claims it was a flesh for flesh situation with taking beatings for his mom, but aye I thought parents were supposed to take on boulders for their kids :-\

What are your feelings on Damien's anger issues?

Please leave a comment and tell me what you think of the story!

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Posted: April 21, 2018.