Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers
Two weeks later.
"What do you mean you've never seen Wizard of Oz?! It's a classic!" Sirius and Remus were walking around campus together. They've gotten closer through the weeks and had been discussing their favorite things on their way to get something to eat.
"I don't know, I just never got around to it." Remus shrugged and laughed at the boy next to him. They continued talking until they came across a small cafe.
"Let's try this place." Sirius suggested. He opened the door for Remus and they took a look around. Remus' heart stopped beating.
A familiar pink haired girl caught his attention. Nymphadora. She was sitting at a table in the corner talking to another girl. Her smile was bright and beautiful. Her laughter filling the small space.
"Sirius we should go." Remus turned on his heel before a big hand grabbed his wrist.
"Why? We just got here. You don't want to check it out?" Remus tried to pull the taller boy but he wasn't strong enough. "Remus what's your problem?"
Nymphadora's head shot to the direction of the door at the boys name. Her eyes widened and she got up from her table.
Remus yanked his arm out of Sirius' grip, quickly walking out of the cafe. Sirius rushed after him but Remus was already too far. A small girl coming out right after him. He ignored her and ran after Remus.
Remus couldn't think. His mind and heart were racing. His hand began to shake. He clenched his fists attempting to make them stop, making his knuckles go white. He felt a hand on his shoulder and jumped at the touch.
"Remus what the hell was that?" Remus looked at Sirius, feary burning in his eyes. Sirius has never seen the boy so angry. Lily and James happened to be walking in their direction.
"I TOLD YOU I WANTED TO LEAVE! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME YOU IDIOT!" Remus snapped. Sirius didn't know how to react so he moved closer. Remus shoved the taller boy as hard as he could, making Sirius fall to the floor. Lily and James ran to them.
"What the fuck Remus!" Sirius fumed, his mood shifting drastically.
"I HATE YOU! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING! FOLLOWING ME AROUND LIKE A LOST PUPPY ALL THE DAMN TIME! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST GO TO LUNCH ON YOUR OWN! YOU'RE SO FUCKING OBSESSED WITH ME, I'M NOT A FAG LIKE YOU!" Remus moved closer to Sirius. Lily wrapped her arms around his back and held him.
The hurt Sirius felt was unexplainable. His heart had been ripped out of his chest and thrown into a blender. He slowly got up with the help of James while Lily spoke soft words into Remus' ear.
"I'm so sorry Sirius. Remus, he gets really aggressive really easily when he sees this certain person. Are you hurt?" Sirius tuned her out. you're pathetic. He never wanted to be your friend. You're just a burden to him. You're just a burden to everyone. His eyes began to fill with tears as he backed away from the three others. He could see Remus calming down and James trying to talk to him. He couldn't make out what he was saying.
There was a ringing in his ears and his head began to spin. Memories from his past slowly creeping into his mind. His chest got tighter and tighter. His breathing rapid. James noticed, he always noticed when Sirius was going to have an episode. He put his hands on Sirius' face making him look at him.
"Sirius, listen to my voice okay? It's me, James Potter. Your best friend. I'm not going to hurt you." It wasn't working. Sirius was slipping away from himself. James could feel it. "Let's go home alright? You'll be safe there." James reached into his pocket to call Peter. Peter was the only one of the five who had a car.
Remus snapped into reality when his eyes met emerald green ones. He was calm now. Any anger or sadness he had suddenly vanished. Sirius was being put in the passenger seat of a car with the help of James and Peter. He looked like he'd seen a ghost.
Remus moved towards the car but was held back by Lily. He looked down at the much smaller girl and she shook her head.
"Do you guys want a ride back?" Peter called out. Lily nodded and James opened the back door for the two. He got in right after them. All the memories of what happened came back to Remus. Tears falling from his face. The car ride had been silent.
"I hurt him didn't I?" it came out more as a whisper. Lily frowned and placed her hand on his. She nodded slowly and Remus took a sharp intake of breath.
"It was an accident Remmy. He didn't know." Lily traced small circles on the back of his hand. "You saw her?" Remus nodded. "Bitch." she mumbled under her breath.
"Who?" James questioned.
"It's a long story.-"Lily began.
"Is Sirius going to be okay?" Remus interrupted. Sirius had been staring at his hands with wide eyes, shaking slightly. They reached the building and before Peter could park, Sirius bolted out of the car. Peter called after him and looked at James. James nodded and ran out after him.
Once the car was completely parked the three got out, rushing towards the elevators.
"It would be best if you two go straight into your place. I don't think he'd want you to see him this way." Peter glanced at Remus. They all stood in the elevator impatiently.
"I have to see him. I have to apologize." They rushed to the boys door. They would hear things falling and yelling coming from inside. Peter walked in while Lily and Remus stood outside. The sight before them was heartbreaking.
"Sirius it's me, James. Peter is here too. You're safe." he said soothingly. He reached out to touch the other boy but Sirius jumped back.
"DON'T HURT ME PLEASE! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG, PLEASE MOM I'M SORRY!" Sirius fell to his knees sobbing uncontrollably.
"Siri she's not here. Please Sirius listen, you're safe." James' voice broke. Peter, Lily, and Remus were crying. James looked up at Peter. "Peter, did you call my mom?"
"When I was on my way to get you." Peter nodded. Right on cue, a short women made her way into the apartment rushing past Lily and Remus. She went straight to Sirius. She whispered something only he could hear in his ear. He swung his arms around her and everyone fell silent.
The only sound was Sirius' soft sobs. He was sweaty and still shaking. Mrs.Potter reached for his sweater and pulled it off, leaving the boys chest and arms exposed.
"Honey you're burning up." A gasp was heard from the doorway. It was Lily. her hand covered her mouth as she began to cry again. James finally looked up at her and Remus, his eyes widening.
"You guys need to leave, now" he said in a stern voice. He turned to Peter. "Why did you let them in? You know he didn't want them to know." Remus couldn't bother to look at James. His eyes were fixated on Sirius' arms. They were littered with small red lines. Some old and some fresh.
"All of you, out." Mrs.Potter demanded as she led Sirius to the bathroom. "He's going to shower and go to sleep. I don't want any of you disturbing him." James and Peter nodded and made their way out the door.
Lily opened her door and motioned for the boys to go in. Remus was planted in his spot, shocked at what he had just witnessed. Lily took hold of his hand and pulled him into their home, embracing him into a hug.
"I understand if you guys hate me now. I didn't mean to hurt him that bad. I didn't mean to hurt him at all." Remus said to the boys. They both made their way to him and had a group hug. It was like this for 5 minutes. All of them needing comfort from each other. They slowly broke apart.
"We don't hate you. We've done this to him before too. It's hard with someone like him." Remus frowned at Peter. "With his BPD and all." James punched Peter in the arm.
"Jeez Peter, why don't you just expose all of his secrets?" James rolled his eyes.
"What do you mean?" remus said full of curiosity. They all sat down on the sofa while Lily made some tea. James let out a sigh.
"You have to promise you won't treat him like he's different. He doesn't like people treating him like he's fragile." Remus nodded.
"I promise."
•••
This was quite a lengthy chapter, sorry.