Moments after falling asleep, found himself in a green field. It was very bright, although Jon couldn't seem to find a sun in the sky. Where was he? And how had he gotten here? He began to walk around. It was beautiful, peaceful and calm in this place. While that should have comforted Jon, it actually really confused him. He had to find answers, and the sooner that happened, the better.
Up ahead, Jon saw a bench. Someone was sitting upon it. Getting closer, he realized it was a young woman, who looked only a few years older than he was. She had on simple white clothes. When she raised her head, Jon saw that she had blonde hair similar to his, and green eyes.
"Hi," said Jon.
"Hello," greeted the young woman.
"Listen," said Jon. "My name is..."
"Jonathan Jacen Solo," the girl finished for him. He gaped at her.
"Y-yes, that's right," Jon stammered. "B-but how did you know? H-have we ever met before?"
"Yes, we have," said the woman. "Fourteen years ago. And you sure have grown a lot since then. But to me, you'll always be my little baby boy." Jon inhaled sharply.
"You're Crescentia Montressor!" he exclaimed as he exhaled. "My mother! Well, I mean, my birth mother. But-but you're dead! You died after giving birth to me! Wait a minute. Am I dead? Is this the afterlife?"
A million more questions rushed through Jon's mind. If he was dead, was it because of his broken rib? Had the shock from that injury killed him in his sleep? Back on Endor, were Han and Leia waking up and coming into the hut only to find Jon's lifeless body? Were they desperately attempting to revive him, only to have their efforts fail, and realize that they lost their son forever?
"No, you aren't dead, Jon," said Crescentia. "And this isn't the afterlife. You're only having a dream."
"But I don't remember ever dreaming about you before," said Jon.
"You did once before," said Crescentia. "You were ten-years-old at the time. And you'd gotten sick because of the Spice your father had been hauling for Jabba the Hutt."
"Yeah, I remember getting sick," Jon said, after thinking about it for a moment. "And when I recovered, Dad told me that I'd cried out for "Mom." But I don't remember anything specific about those dreams...no offense, Crescentia."
"Jon, please. It's ok. You can call me 'Mom'," said Crescentia.
"Thanks, but I'd rather not," said Jon. "Because if I cal you "Mom", I feel like I'd be betraying Leia. Um, that's Leia Organa, the last princess of Alderaan. And she and Dad have like...a...thing. Also, I um, I see Leia as my mother. Like, I call her 'Mom' and everything."
"Oh, I know," said Crescentia.
"Yeah, how do you know all of this?" asked Jon.
"Because I've been looking over you, Jon," said Crescentia. "Ever since the day my parents brought you to your father, I've watched you grow up. From a tiny little baby, to now, as a very handsome young man. As you can see, you've got the same color hair as me. But in all other ways, you look just like your father."
"I know," said Jon. "People have always told me that all my life. Dad I have similar personalities, too. But what are, I mean, what were you like? What do you and I have in common? It's something I've always wondered about."
"I was very intelligent," Crescentia answered. "I loved to read, and was always curious to learn more about everything." Jon smiled as that started to sound like him.
"I was also a very friendly person," Crescentia continued. "I enjoyed meeting new people and getting to know them. Maybe that's why me and your father hit it off so well. Because of how different we were. Me, being so outgoing, and him being quieter. But he could be just as cocky then as he is now. Sometimes, he would bring me to watch the illegal street races on Corellia, and show me the speeder he was working on. I don't know if he ever finished it, but I could tell that he'd obviously put a lot of time, effort and work into it. That was when I knew that he'd be a great pilot." Han had probably told Jon about this speeder at one time or another, but Jon couldn't remember for sure.
"I'm pretty good at flying myself," said Jon. "Dad and Chewie taught me everything I know. You should see me fly the Falcon."
"I bet you're just as great as your father," said Crescentia.
"You're right about that," Jon agreed. "Hey, how did you and Dad meet, anyway? I figure I have to ask you that while I'm here."
"I was actually waiting for you to bring that up, Jon," said Crescentia. "Well, let's see. My parents, your grandparents, were very strict on me. I'm still surprised they allowed me visit my relatives on Corellia. That's where I'd met your father. He was handsome in rugged sort of way. At the time, he hadn't yet gotten that scar on his chin."
"I can tell you how that happened," said Jon.
"No, that's ok, son," said Crescentia. Son. Jon's birth mother had just called him son. A wonderful thrill passed through his body.
"Your father and I began a secret courtship," Crescentia continued. "Night after night, for about a month or two, we'd meet. Sometimes we'd go out for dinner, where I paid. We'd kiss in dark alleys. On the night before I had to leave for Jelucan, I snuck your father into the house, climbed into bed, and well...you know..."
"Ok! Ok! I get it! I get it!" Jon cut in. "You don't need to tell me about you and Dad's...nocturnal activities. Sorry. That's what Dad calls it when he and Leia have sex. And they've had sex a lot. But...anyway...carry on."
"Well, the times Han and I had together were some of the happiest of my life," said Crescentia. "But they weren't meant to last. All too soon, I had to leave Corellia and return to Jelucan, thus reuniting with my parents. It was the last time we ever saw each other. Not long afterwards, I found out I was pregnant with you. That was when I knew I had to come clean about my relationship with Han Solo. My parents weren't happy at first. But they soon began to look forward to the prospect of being grandparents. They were a great help to me during those nine months. I remember the day I went to the med-center and found out you were a boy. In case you're wondering, yes, there were numerous times where I tried to contact your father. I wanted him to know about you, his child, his son. But I never found out what happened to him."
"Can you tell me about the day I was born?" asked Jon. "Why did you die?" These questions were very hard for him to ask, as he was sure Crescentia could tell. But he had to know.
"It started off normally enough," Crescentia began. "I'd been admitted to the local med-center on Jelucan a few days beforehand, because of some early contractions. But they got really intense on that day, and I knew it was time for you to enter the world. I can't remember exactly how long my labor lasted, but it felt like forever. The longer it took, the weaker I became. I knew I didn't have much time left. And then you came out. After cutting the umbilical cord and cleaning you off, the doctor handed you to me. You were red, wrinkled and screaming your head off. But to me, you were beautiful and perfect. I got a good look at your eyes-hazel-just like your father's. And have you ever wondered why your name is Jonathan Jacen Solo?"
"No...not really," said Jon.
"Well, I picked Jonathan after my grandfather," Crescentia explained. "And Jacen is a popular name on Corellia, or so according to your father. Before I died, I told my parents to discover your father's whereabouts, and bring you to him. I'm sure you can figure out what happened next."
"Yeah, said Jon.
"You're hesitant to call me 'Mom' because you already do that with Princess Leia," said Crescentia. Jon opened his mouth to speak, but Crescentia held up a hand to stop him.
"I know you're about to ask me if I'm jealous of Leia, Jon," she said. Jon nodded mutely. "Well, the truth is, not really, no. Yes, Leia and your father have been there for milestones and experiences that I've obviously had to miss. But I feel like Leia, Luke, those droids, and even though you lost him way too soon, Obi-Wan Kenobi, all showed up just when you, your father and Chewbacca needed them the most. And Leia has been a better mother to you than I ever would have been."
"What are you talking about?" asked Jon. "I'm sure you would have been a really good mother."
"I appreciate that, Jon," said Crescentia. "But listen to me. When you were born, I was just a nineteen-year-old girl who was afraid she'd never see her son's father again. I wasn't ready to be a mother."
Crescentia was nineteen when she gave birth to me, thought Jon. That's why she looks so young. She will always remain the age she was when I was born, and she died.
"But Dad was nineteen when he found out about me," Jon said aloud. "And he's the best father I could have asked for. Plus, Leia and Luke were both nineteen when I met them."
"That's true," said Crescentia.
"There's something else I wanna talk to you about," said Jon. "After Dad was freed from the Carbonite, he had Hibernation Sickness. Once we made it back to the Rebellion, Dad was taken to the med-center so he could spend the night there and recover. But then something happened. He'd died, or so that's what I thought, before he came back to life. And he told me how he'd briefly traveled to the afterlife, where he met you."
"Yes," said Crescentia.
"Well, what did you and Dad talk about?" asked Jon. "I'm just wondering."
"We talked about you," said Crescentia. "And we also reminisced about our past together. I know the heart monitor in the med-center flat-lined, making you and the others believe your father was dead. But it was more like he was in limbo, caught between life and death. And he almost gave up." A chill ran up Jon's spine as the implications of what Crescentia was saying set in.
"Are you telling me that my dad wanted to die?" he asked. "No! I can't believe that! You're lying!"
"Wait a minute, Jon," said Crescentia. "Let me explain..."
"No!" Jon thundered. "No more talking! I'm done with you! This is a dream, right? It means I can wake up any time I like. Well, that's what I'm gonna do right now. We're done!"
He turned and stalked away from Crescentia. Suddenly, a bright, white light filled Jon's line of sight. Opening his eyes, he found that he was in the hut back on Endor. He sat up, feeling a dull ache in his rib. But the injury wasn't as bad as it had been. He turned his head to find Han and Leia sleeping huddled together in a corner of the hut. Han lay on his side, with his knees tucked up almost to his chin, because he was so tall, and this hut was very cramped. And Leia, because she was shorter, was able to stretch out her legs. The last thing Jon remembered before falling asleep was that Han and Leia had left the hut. So, when had they returned? And how long had they been sleeping there for?
"Dad?" Jon asked. "Dad? Mom? Mom?! Hey! Wake up!" Han and Leia woke up at the same time. They sat up and looked at Jon.
"What is it, Jon?" asked Han.
"Did you have a bad dream?" asked Leia.
"Well, it was a dream," answered Jon. "And it started off nice enough, I guess. But then...it turned into a nightmare."
"Well, what was it about, Jon?" asked Han.
"My birth mother," said Jon. "In the dream, I actually met her. Crescentia Montressor. Eternally nineteen-years-old. And we talked. She marveled at how much I've grown, and told me that she's very proud of me. I learned things that I'd never known before. She named me Jonathan after her grandfather. And Jacen is a popular name on Corellia. That's something you've never told me before, Dad."
"I had no idea there was special reason Crescentia named you Jonathan," said Han. "And as for Jacen, I thought I did tell you that it was a traditional Corellian name. Maybe you just don't remember."
"Anyway, I did enjoy getting to know the woman who gave birth to me-even if it was just in a dream," said Jon. "But here's where things got scary. I asked Crescentia what it was like on her end when we'd thought you'd died, Dad. According to her, you weren't actually dead. Just...in limbo, as she put it. And she said you wanted to give up!" Leia gasped. "I accused Crescentia of being a liar. But is it true, Dad? Did you want to die?!" His voice trembled as he spoke, because he was on the verge of tears.
"I was tempted," said Han. "But I resisted. I came back. And do you know why? It was because of you, Jon! I couldn't go now, not when you needed me the most. You saved me, Jon. And it wasn't the first time, either."
"What do you mean by that, Dad?" asked Jon.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're my savior, Jon," Han replied. "I know you go on and on about how I'm your hero, and how many times I've saved you. But you've saved me just as often. Whether you're bringing me back from the edge of death, saving me from Carbonite, or showing me how great a man I can really be, and just making my life so much better. It means a lot to me."
"I love you, Dad," said Jon.
"I love you, too, son," said Han. They hugged. After that, Jon, Han and Leia all went back to sleep. As soon as he closed his eyes, Jon returned to the world of his dreams. Crescentia was waiting for him.
"Oh, no!" Jon grumbled. "Don't tell me I'm gonna be dreaming about you for the rest of my life!"
"Hello, Jon," said Crescentia "Listen, I'd just like to apologize for earlier."
"Dad told me the truth," said Jon. "He really was tempted to die. But he says I saved him."
"Yes, that's right," said Crescentia. "And I think day is about to break on Endor. You should get going, Jon. But before that, there's just one more thing I have to do." She hugged Jon. Even though this was a dream, that hug felt real to the boy. For the first time he could remember, his biological mother was hugging him. It make him feel happy. Crescentia let go of him, and they looked at each other for a moment.
"Thanks, Mom," said Jon.
End of Chapter 19.
Author's Notes:
1.) After three books of hearing about her, you all finally got to meet Crescentia Montressor...albeit in a dream. Her showing up in one of Jon's dreams is an idea I'd been mulling over for a while now, since I started writing this version of Return of the Jedi. But I wasn't sure if I'd actually use it, hence why her name isn't in the cast list. (Of course, with the way I described her, you all are free to fancast her yourselves, if you like. Same thing goes for Norra Wexley.) I finally decided to go for it because I thought it was a great way to give Jon a sense of both closure and catharsis when it came to the matter of his biological mother.
2.) I mentioned this in an Author's Note for A New Hope, but just as a reminder, Crescentia Montressor's name is a reference to the Disney movie Treasure Planet.