TWO MONTHS LATER
I’m finally done unpacking and everything is in its place. My new room is bigger than my old one. The walls are creamy white and the curtains over the window facing the street are mint green. My favorite color. The bed is double sized since I have a bad habit of falling out of bed at night. My clothes are neatly folded in the drawer and a few skirts and jeans hung in the wardrobe. The bookshelves are far from filled. A few albums with some of my favorite artists, a diploma from a spelling bee contest in second grade, some movies and books, lots of books actually. Everything between classics like Tom Sawyer and Sherlock Holmes, to modern books like The Hunger Games and The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I’ve organized my desk with new pencils and paper stacked next to the stereo.
Tomorrow I’m starting at the University. American History and English. It’s a short drive there, about 15 minutes but I wish it had been shorter. Actually I wish I didn’t have to drive at all but my parents wouldn’t let me stay at campus, they wanted me close.
I take one more look at my room. It looks good, so I turn out the lights and go to sleep.
The introduction is the most boring introduction I have ever been to. I almost fall asleep when they go through safety and the schedule of the year. The people from the school administration say a few words as well. Afterwards I take a tour around the school and notice it’s much bigger than I expected it to be. But I like it. It will be easier to blend in here. No one will notice me. I will blend in, I convince myself, but I have to get some friends. I can’t let it be High School all over again. Plus, my class mates seem nice…so far.
I’m heading towards my car when I see a face I recognize.
“Joselyn, right?”
Michael is standing in the parking lot with a smirk on his face.
I smile back at him.
“It is you! Never thought I’d see you again. And yeah, I dye my hair a lot.”
He must have noticed me starring at his red hair.
“Sorry, I just…”
“No, it’s fine. Are you going here?”
“Yes, it’s my first day. American History. What about you?”
“Not to this building but over there. Information Technology. Computers and such stuff.”
He points somewhere behind him but I have no idea of at what. Everything looks the same to me.
“What campus are you at?” He asks.
“Oh I’m not staying here. I’m living at…”
I never get to finish the sentence before Michael high-fives a black haired guy walking by.
“What’s up, Mike? Ashton said you…”
Ashton. Oh my. He had crossed my mind several times during these past two months. Does he go here, too? There was something about him, but I’m not sure if I want to get to know him or if I should just try to avoid him. Especially since his girlfriend wasn’t very fond of me, I think back on when I left the café. I never thought I would meet any of them again. Ever. Like, what are the odds, in this city of millions? I look at my watch, even though I don’t need to because right at that moment, I feel my stomach tell me it’s time for lunch. I wonder if there are any lunch places near or if I should head back home. It’s noon and I didn’t have to be back at the Uni until tomorrow.
“Joselyn, this is Calum, by the way. Calum Hood.”
I look at the guy Michael high-fived before. He looks athletic and is wearing a tank top. What is it with guys and tank tops down here? Everyone seems to be wearing them.
“Hi, Joselyn! And before you ask, I’m not Asian!” He says with a serious tone before I see a smile grow on his face.
“I wasn’t going to ask you,” I say startled and he just laughs.
“Do you wanna join us for lunch?” Michael says.
I hesitate. You can do it Jo, come on. They’re nice! I nod.
“Great. I think Kyle and Emma will join us too,” he says, but clearly not to me.
They take me to a place nearby I would never have found myself. It’s a small diner, named The Diner (oh what a creative name) located just off campus, in an alley next to the bigger food restaurants. It smells like burgers and something else I can’t quite detect. Smoke? It probably is. I saw a bunch of cigarettes outside the door. The interior goes from green to red. Even the bar stools are those colors.
“This is Joselyn. Joselyn, this is Kyle and Emma.”
The two people in front of me look like a mix between Calum and Michael. Kyle is athletic as Calum, probably a football player and Emma more punk rock as Michael. Her hair is blue and she has a lip piercing. I wonder if she dyes her hair as often as Michael does. Probably.
“Finally, a nice decent girl,” Emma says and makes some room so I can sit next to her at the end of the table while Calum and Michael sit down opposite from me.
I frown, not sure of what she meant. Nice decent girl?
“They usually bring some messed up girl who doesn’t even know her abc’s. But you look smart.”
“You’ve only just met me. Maybe I don’t know my abd’s,” I joke and they all laugh. I feel my cheeks turn red.
“I like her,” Kyle winks at me. Wow this was easy. Have I just made a couple of new friends?
They start asking me questions about where I’m from and what I think of Sydney so far. I start feeling dizzy and Emma hands me a glass of something red and fuzzy. I don’t think much about it, but as soon as I take a sip I can taste the alcohol. I put it down.
“Wait, are you one of those girl who doesn’t drink?” Kyle asks.
I nod slightly. I wasn’t planning of starting drinking anytime soon. I knew what it could do to you. I’ve read thousands of articles about it and my parents lectured me about it when I was 13.
“I’ve never tried it.”
“Never tried what?”
I look up and see Ashton with his arm around the blonde’s waist. He looks really handsome in his white shirt and skinny jeans. He has a tan and his dimples barely showing. I feel my heart start beating faster.
“Oh it’s you. I should have recognized you. Your…”
The blonde opens her mouth but Ashton quickly whispers something in her ear and her words die out before she can make a nasty comment on what I am wearing…or about me. I’m not sure, and I don’t want to know.
Calum takes another chair to make room for Ashton and his girlfriend, whose name is Amy if I read her necklace correctly.
“So what brings you two here?” Calum asks.
“We’re hungry, duh,” Amy snaps.
I look over at Ashton who has his arm around her waist but his eyes on me. Why is he staring at me? Is it because of my clothes? I’m wearing light colored jeans and a blue top. And on top of that, a white cardigan. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. But Amy clearly doesn’t like it. Or me. What is her problem anyway? I look at her. She is cute but her personality ruins it. Her blonde hair shiny, silky and long and her eyes clear blue, like the sky. She looks so young yet like an adult. I wonder how old she is, are we the same age? She’s wearing a baby pink dress that is way too revealing, but it suits her and her personality well, and it matches her lip stick she applied the minute she sat down.
“What’s your problem, freak?” Amy spits at me.
I haven’t notice me starring at her for so long and now everyone’s eyes are on me.
“Amy!” Emma gasps.
“I…I…”
I don’t know what to say. I didn’t do anything wrong, I was just looking at her. Had I been staring too long? I feel dizzy again. I have to get out of here. I see the red exit sign a few tables away.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble as I stand up
“Joselyn!” Someone calls out but I’m not listening. The room is closing in on me. I grasp for the door and in two seconds, I’m out in the fresh air.
I knew this would happen. I should never have come. Fuck. Why, Joselyn? Why? Why do you have to cry all the time? Why can’t you just pull yourself together and stand up for yourself? Say something! I take deep breathes trying to calm myself down. I can’t do this again. Maybe I should just leave. They won’t even care if I do. The door opens but I turn away. I’m not ready to face whoever it is standing there. I can’t let them see my eyes.
“You forgot your bag.”
I immediately recognize his voice. Why did he come?
“I brought it for you.”
Ashton drops, what looks like my bag, on the ground next to me.
“I’m sorry about Amy. She…she is the way she is. You’re not a freak.”
I know I should turn my face and look at him, but I can’t. Why is Ashton apologizing for his girlfriend’s behavior? He really shouldn’t. She is right. I am a freak. I always have been. And I always will be.
“You don’t have to come back in. I told her to give you some space if you decide to come back, though,” his voice feels small. “Well, I’m gonna go before they start worrying about me and come out here. I know you wouldn’t want that. Too much people. So…”
“Thank you,” I mumble and look up at him.
My eyes are still red but he doesn’t say anything about it. He just nods and heads back inside.