Aeryn POV
I immediately felt warm when I opened my eyes. I surveyed the whole room and with the classic interiors that decorated it, nalaman ako agad na wala ako sa kwarto ko. Tumingin ako sa right side ako and saw Eros' defined back.
I blushed as memories from last night briefly played wildly all over again. The way he touched me, the way I felt euphoric sensations within me, the pain, the pleasure... I gave my self to him. He's the first man to ever touch me and I don't regret any of it because he's the only man that I love.
Gusto ko sana pagmasdan yung mukha niyang tulog pero dahil nakatalikod siya sa akin, hindi ko magawa. Tanging ang likod niya lang na puno ng muscles ang nakikita ko. Pinilit kong bumangon pero I'm still sore all over. He really went all the way last night.
Kahit masakit, I still managed to stand up. I literally walked like a jelly to the bathroom and luckily, as I thought, there was a bathrobe in there. I put it on me para naman ma-cover ang katawan ko.
For the next minutes, tumawag ako ng room delivery service for our breakfast. Nang dumating ang server, nakita kong medyo nagulat ito dahil siguradong nakilala kami ni Eros.
"Thanks." sabi ko sa server ng nalagay niya na ng maayos ang inorder kong breakfast sa katabi ng kama.
Bahagyang uminit ang mga pisngi nito at nag-nod nalang bago umalis.
Kaalis niya naman, saktong gumising si Eros. I was sitting near his side, where the breakfast tray cart was placed.
Slowly, he opened his eyes while putting one of his hands on his head. Riiight. Nakainom siya ng marami so he was probably having a hang-over. His eyes widened when he saw me and immediately sat. His defined upper body was exposed, with blankets covering his lower body. Alam ko na kagaya ko, wala din siyang kahit anong bahid na damit.
Pagkatapos ng ginawa namin kagabi, we fell asleep straight away because of the alcohol and exhaustion. Ni wala man lang oras para bihisan ang sarili namin.
"Aeryn..." panimula niya, ni hindi man lang makatingin sa akin ng deretso.
"Yes?" naghahamon kong tanong.
I know where this is going...
"Sorry... I was so drunk last night, this is a mistake, I'm sorry..." malungkot niyang sabi.
Pinagpatuloy ko lang ang pag-tingin sakanya. I knew he would say that. Alam ko naman where I stand in his life. What happened between us though, just changed it. At least, I knew na kahit maliit na parte ng attraction or lust, mayroon siya para sa akin.
"Last night wasn't mistake for me, Eros. We both wanted it." I assured him.
Lumapit ako sa kanya at hinawakan ang isang kamay niya, to double my assurance. I do not regret any of last night and it would never be a mistake for me when he clearly had a choice pero sa huli, pinili niya paring bumigay. I wanted him badly and I knew he felt the same desire.
"You were a virgin, Aeryn! I used you!" medyo pagalit niyang sabi at sa unang pagkakatoon sa umagang ito, nakatingin siya sa akin ng deretso.
His brows scowled as his chinito eyes became even smaller. Akala ko wala ng iliit ang mga mata niya. Nakaka-aliw parin siyang magsalita despite our heavy confrontation dahil sumusulpot ang malalim niyang dimples sa mukha.
Mas lalo ko hinigpitan ang hawak ko sa kamay niya. I pressed our hands together.
"You didn't use me. I wanted it as much as you did. I am very much happy to lose my virginity, Eros, especially to someone that I love." mariin na sabi ko.
I bit my lips, in attempt to control my flustered cheeks pero alam kong walang patama iyon. I tried to sound sultry pero alam kong babaeng-babae ang boses ko. Much probably like the voice I used last night when I screamed and moaned his name over and over again.
His eyes widened in surprise and confusion.
"What do you mean by that, Ryn?" tanong niya.
Lumunok ako. With all my strength, I looked at him straight in the eyes.
"You heard it right, Eros. I'm in love with you." I said the last words as a whisper, as if it's a secret not meant to be heard by anyone else.
When I said it while looking deep into his eyes looking back at me, bigla kong naalala ang mga unang pagkakataon when I just realized that I caught feelings for him. I can't pinpoint when exactly did I feel it pero naramdaman ko lang bigla.
During our first project, I was already pretty close to him. He was pretty friendly at dahil expressive ang mga mata niya, hindi na ako nahihirapan mag-kunwaring kilig sa mga eksena namin. However, everything changed during our second project na teleserye. A teleserye is tougher than a movie because it could get extended and dragged for a long time.
Unlike our first project where we had breaks pa naman, sa teleserye, araw-araw talaga ang taping. I was with him everyday and it's not like I didn't like it. My first sign was when I brought him a pillow.
Nakita ko kasi na nahihirapan siya matulog tuwing nagta-taping kami at ewan ko, tuwing nakikita ko siyang ganoon, kumikirot yung puso ko. I ordered a pillow for him to use at ever since, ito na ang ginagamit niyang pillow kapag nagta-taping kami. I have never done that or cared that much for any of my leading men.
Dahil naman sa ginawa kong 'yun, nalaman ng ibang showbiz insiders at nag-spark din ng rumors na baka there was something going on between us. We would always keep them guessing, dahil na din sa utos ng management.
I knew it wasn't a simple crush when I get extra shy every time he's around. I blush for no reason at kapag gumawa kami ng scene, every time he touches me, parang napapaso ako. I felt shy around him for no reason. Natutulala din ako kapag umeeksena na kami. One instance where I've definitely had it hard is sa first teleserye din namin. He kissed me and I wasn't supposed to kiss back pero I kissed him back widly.
"Cut!" tawag ni Direk.
I pulled away from Eros, catching my breath. Ganoon din siya.
"C'mon, lovebirds. Ryn, wag ka naman padala. Eksena 'to, you're not supposed to kiss him back, ha?" biro ng direktor namin.
I couldn't even look at him straight after that. Madalian kong tinapos ang scene na 'yun ang nag-kulong muna sa dressing room para ma-organize ko ang thoughts ko.
This small crush... I've always thought na I only feel something different for him because nadadala ako sa mga scenes. I was so into my character kaya na-coconfuse ko na din ang feelings ng character ko sa feelings ko sakanya.
But, nope!
That isn't it. Kanina, hindi na ako umaarte. Heck, for the past few days, I wasn't even acting! I was acting naturally dahil sa totoong buhay... in love na din ako sakanya.
It's not hard to fall for him. He was always nice to me, a gentleman at the very best. Very professional siyang katrabaho at masayang kakwentuhan. He doesn't mind listening to my rambles, what I like and my future goals sa industriya. He actually seemed very interested in them. Kapag nag-uusap kami, palaging may substance.
Dahil sweet na sweet siya sa akin sa trabaho, I even thought he had the same feelings as well. Fuck you, Aeryn!
He's perfect. Only if he wasn't in love with someone else.
I knew I love him not only for his looks, money or whatever image he had in front of the public. I just love him the way he is. Yung Eros na nakakasama ko behind-the-scenes, the Eros that I have always known. I love everything about him, his chinito eyes, his middle-class background, everything...
I took in a deep breath, waiting for his reaction.
"Pero magkaibigan lang tayo..." nahihiyang sabi niya.
This asshole.
"It's funny because I thought you had some kind of feelings for me as well, eh. Kaya I never told you because I was waiting for you to admit first. I didn't know you had a girlfriend.... Hindi halata." maarte kong sabi. I unclasped my hand on his and crossed my arms. Inirapan ko siya.
Despite me pouring all my feelings out, he let out a low chuckle.
"Sorry, Ryn. I'm surprised, actually. I don't even know what to say." he let out a small smile.
Well, at least he's smiling. Kaysa naman sa busangot at miserable niyang mukha kagabi. I couldn't stand it.
I rolled my eyes at him.
"Really? After I confessed to you... ganyan lang ang sasabihin mo?" I raised my voice a little.
He let out a deep sigh.
"Kakagaling ko lang sa break-up, Ryn. I still have mixed feelings... I can't really consider anyone muna dahil masasaktan ko lang to. I'm healing, still." sabi niya.
An idea sparked up within me.
"You know what... since nag-agree ka din naman sa plano ng management, why don't we make this real, huh? Panagutan mo ang ginawa mo sakin." I said hastily.
Kumunot ang ulo niya as his jaw clenched.
"What do you mean?" tanong niya.
I smiled at him seductilvely.
"May interview naman tayo later, diba? Let's be a real couple. Let's treat each other as a real girlfriend and boyfriend." I proposed, although I knew it wasn't enough to convince the chinito man in front of me.
He gulped and looked away before looking at me again. I feel like he's having goosebumps about it.
"Look, Ryn. If we do that, it's not fair because I would not be able to give my 100% to you. It's unfair for you..." sagot niya.
I made a frowned face.
"Then I'll give more than 100% to you, Eros. If that's what you need to heal. I'll help you. Just please, trust me on this... Give me a chance." sabi ko.
Hindi parin siya sumasagot at nakatitig parin sa akin habang nakakunot ang noo.
Muli, I clasped my hand with my hand and moved closer to him. I closed my eyes and gave him a quick peck on his lips. I pulled away at ganoon pa din ang reaksyon niya.
I teased him more and started to plant kisses on his neck.
"Don't you like me, Eros? Ayaw mo ba ang mga halik ko? You're the first man I've ever kissed this way, you know..." I said huskily.
I stopped from kissing him nang hinawakan niya ang dalawang kamay ko para tumigil ako sa ginawa ko sakanyang paga-akit.
"God, Aeryn! You're the country's No.1 most beautiful and sexiest. How can you say that!?" giit ng tono niya.
I glared at him and sat on his thighs. Immediately, I felt his member already poking me on my thighs. It's really so easy to awaken his little monster.
I kissed him again and this time, he kissed back with all his might.
When we pulled away from each other, I put my arms around his neck.
"How can you kiss me like that and say that when you can reject me easily, hmmm? Give me a chance to love you, Eros." I whispered.
His eyes were full of worries and hesitations. He tried to speak but he couldn't.
"Let's give this a try, okay?" I said in hope.
Laking tuwa ko na lamang when he nodded and kissed me on my forehead.
He closed his eyes as he talked.
"Alright, let's give this a try. I'll try to love you as much as you love me, Ryn..." mariin niyang sabi.
I felt butterflies all over my stomach. I feel like seeing rainbow everywhere. For the first time in my life, I've never felt such happiness. He'll give it a try! He'll actually be my boyfriend for real. Maybe, makikila na din siya ng pamilya ko.
I smiled happily at him. I knew my face couldn't help but show the immense joy I was feeling.
"I'll help you, okay? Trust me."
He only let out a low chuckle and kissed my forehead again.
"Alright." he smiled back, with his dimples clearly showing.
For the next hours, we ate our breakfast before we prepared to go. He wore the same clothes but he brought me clothes from one of the hotel's exclusive boutiques. My undies did get ripped last night, so...
Everything is a bliss. I loved holding his hand while he was driving in the heavy traffic. I like being comfortable in his car. Tinext namin ang mga personal assistant namin na huwag na kami puntahan dahil magkasabay nalang kami pupunta sa shooting para sa interview namin.
Both of us didn't have anything to do besides that at pagkatapos, we'll get back on shooting with our teleserye and some magazine features. Everything was going smoothly. We did have a bump along the way pero now that it's patched up, the road came back smoother for us.
The host was very pleasing to us both sa interview namin sa IN2IT. He was a well-known host along the country. He's gay and his strong personality with catchy jokes really gets the audience. Kahit na talkshow ang programa niya, it manages to get 40% because of his amazing hosting style. Dahil din siguro sa hosting style niya kaya mas nagmukha pang natural ang pag-amin namin ni Eros.
We were holding hands ever since the start of the interview.
"Ay, magka-holding hands oh! PDA masyado." maarteng sigaw ng host.
Tumawa lamang lalo ang audience at mas lalong nag-hiyaw ang mga fans namin. We laughed along with everyone. Unconciously, I even rested on his chest, making him unclasp our hands together. Pinalupot niya ang braso niya sa aking baywang to support me.
The entertaining host made face as he continued to tease us.
"May ganyan pang alam oh! Umamin nga kayo, Aeryn, Eros. Mag-jowa kayo no?"
I let my self blush naturally as Eros put his microphone closer to him and answered.
"Yes, Pinky." ngiti niya dito.
Parang mabibingi ako sa sigaw ng lahat ng tao sa audience. Humiyaw sila habang ang host naman ay in-exaggerate ang pag jaw-drop niya. I think he was informed by the management na beforehand so it's really wonderful of him to still play like that. Hosts, are indeed, kind of actors too.
"Ulitin mo nga para samin, Eros. DI namin naririnig." pabirong sabi ulit ng host.
Eros played along with it, though.
"Girlfriend ko po si Aeryn. Boyfriend ako ni Aeryn. We're in a relationship and we're very much in love with each other." deklara niya.
Kung malakas na ang hiyaw ng audience kanina, dumoble pa ata. Para talaga akong mabibingi. Instead of making a face, kinilig din ako sa sinabi ni Eros. I looked at him and already saw that he was looking at me. I gave him a meaningful smile. Alam ko na ang camera ay probably zoomed-in sa amin.
"Wow! Just, wow! Dati pag sinasabi mag-jowa kayo, todo deny, eh no? Kung di pala magkaka-public misunderstanding, di pa aamin 'tong dalawang to." hirit ng host. He was known for dropping issues surrounding the celebrities he has for guest, aiming to use it for fun. He'd take no bullshit from anyone.
Buti nalang ay di siya nag-drop name dahil ugali niya din iyon. I masked my annoyed face with a little smile as Eros answered for us again.
"Pictures don't fully tell the truth. I've always been in love with Aeryn." sabi niya. Tumingin siya sa akin, ngumiti at hinalikan ako sa noo. I closed my eyes to feel the mark he left.
May kung anong mabigat na pakiramdam akong naramdaman. He was damn good at acting. Kahit behind the scenes, lahat ng pagmamahal ko ay ibibigay ko talaga sakanya ng buong-buo. I won't disappoint him. I chose this, anyway. I have never failed in anything before and with this, I know I'll succeed. His heart will eventually open up with me, little by little.
I'll make sure of that. I'll make sure he loves me back... maybe not the way I love him, but at least, he can love back a bit of me. I'll help him.