SHE
She was the sound of glass shattering--the sharp ringing in your ears. The perpetual motion of a spinning ballerina trapped inside a music box. The sad, tinny tune of La Vie en rose.
She was the zig-zag in your straight line. The absence in your direction. She was every turn you took when racing through a hedge maze, against the setting sun.
She was the tide that came in and out, like the breath of the wounded. She was the blood that flowed between heart and head.
She was the book that was not written. The sentence that was not scripted. She was the word you wished you could have said.
-Lang Leav
The End: Part 1 of 4
Neither wanted this. Neither wanted to stand face to face, wands in hand, hearts on their sleeve. But this is what it inevitably came down to. This encounter had been arranged by the universe and schemed by fate. Every event and every circumstance they'd lived through had led them to this very moment. They'd been unknowingly preparing for that fateful night their entire lives, and in retrospective all of the memories the siblings had shared were becoming an obstacle they had to overcome.
Alexis and Tom Riddle had never been on the same team, regardless of how hard they'd tried to meet halfway. It was inevitable for them to stand opposing the other, attempting to put a stop to the other's doings once and for all. Tom was war. Despite the poor and one-sided portrayal he fell victim to, there was no denying his ways and methods were macabre to say the least, and despite the big space he occupied in his sister's heart, that did not make him worthy of mercy. Alexis was peace. She had longed for it for so long she eventually became it, understanding that such serenity could only be accomplished by searching for the good and the love in the world and holding on to it, understanding that in order to reach her goal she had to put an end to war.
They'd both had enough, after all. Tom had dedicated too much of his life to the Dark Arts, to immortality, it unequivocally became his purpose, leading him to commit acts far past forgiveness to achieve it. And Alexis was tired, there was nothing more to it. She wanted to feel free for once. Free of everyone else's burdens weighting her down, free of a life with no stability and no peace. She wanted to grow, to love. She wanted nothing more than to have the opportunity of a promising future. A future that would flash before her eyes on her very last breaths, that would bring a smile to her face for the last time, and that would fill her with joy because she had lived a good life.
She looked at her brother through the tears that were steadily blurring her vision, and he looked back, and although there were no tears in his eyes she could see it, this was breaking him as much as it was breaking her. She could see it, the images of their past selves, haunting him, making his hands turn shaky and his breath unsteady. She could see it, the pain.
It was with a heavy heart and a defeated soul that the Riddles raised their wands. The first time they ever tried to intentionally harm the other could also very well be the last one. There was a dread pressing down on their chests because they both knew that the second a light erupted from either wand it would mark the end of an era, the end of the era where they found joy and comfort on each other, where despite all odds they remained on each other's side through thick and thin. They would be no more, this was it, this was the end.
"I can't let you do this," Alexis muttered. The sound of her voice, although merely a whisper, resounded in the otherwise silent room.
"I can't let you stop me," he replied through gritted teeth. His hands were fidgety, a mannerism that wasn't common for Tom.
Alexis eyes briefly shifted to James, as if in slow motion, her brain unable to take in everything at once. But there he was, with blood running down the side of his face and an absolutely petrified expression as he watched the scene unfold. More tears ran down her cheeks at the sight of the boy she so ardently loved, thinking about how he deserved to be free as well. Her gaze returned to her brother and she physically felt her heart breaking, she felt the pain growing in her chest and expanding all throughout her body when a red light appeared in her wand and directed towards Tom.
He blocked it with ease, knowing very well that Alexis had used nothing near the genuine force she was capable of. But the battle had begun and he had no option but to fight back now. He looked at her with disbelief, still unable to comprehend the fact that she was really doing this, she was fighting him. It was his turn to lift his wand, and for the first time in his life he flinched when the curse escaped it, shutting his eyes close to avoid seeing the results. She had blocked it, of course she did, but now she fired back faster, leaving the hesitance behind, thus urging him to do so as well.
Spectators watched with their hearts on their throats, some more unnerved than others, some shutting their eyes close to avoid looking altogether. Seconds were dragging by almost mockingly slow, it wouldn't have surprised them to hear only a minute or two had gone by when it really felt like an eternity of watching the Riddles duel. There were no breaks, no opportunities to breathe, just curses flying back and forth, creating lights that made the room resemble a Renaissance painting. A twisted, eerie Renaissance painting that glorified pain and distress, in a dark and hollow room where hope had reached an all time low, where the crowd was on their knees, expressing a sorrow that someone out there probably found beautiful and artistic. And the two siblings in the middle, with glowing lights in between them, served as the main subject of the piece of art. But there was nothing beautiful about that moment, not for the people living through it. Not for James, who was a sobbing mess, desperately looking for a way to escape from their grasp and help her. Not for McGonagall, who was keeping her eyes shut, her fists clenched by her sides, never having felt so powerless. Not for Sirius, or Remus, or any other person who feared the outcome of this duel.
In a sudden move, Tom's eyes widened as he gasped for air, making everyone else in the room gasp with him. She'd been too quick, or perhaps he hadn't been fast enough, but she had successfully managed to be the first one to inflict harm out of the two. Many would have considered that an advantage, and many did, for a brief period of time, celebrate Alexis' short-lived upper hand. But then Tom regained his composure and it became obvious, due to his stance and the burning rage reflected in his eyes, that he'd allowed Voldemort to take over. He was enraged, seething even, and all the hesitance that had been holding Tom back evaporated into thin air. Alexis noticed this, noticed how the grip on his wand tightened, noticed how anger clouded his vision. And she knew then that the situation was bound to escalate into territories that were foreign to her.
The sudden aggressiveness from Tom's part was notorious, not giving his sister time to fight back anymore, hitting her with curse after curse that left her with no choice but focus on shield charms. She had the skills to fight back and the ability to take Tom's wrath, her brain was packed with the knowledge and her body was strong enough to take it. She'd been trained for this, unknowingly preparing for the occasion. Her body could resist and her brain was ready to switch mode, her heart however, her heart was holding her back.
Her heart wanted her brother back. Her heart wanted everything to go back to how it had once been. Her heart wasn't ready to face reality. In the blink of an eye, the monster in front of her suddenly disappeared and a ten year old boy took his place. A familiar face, that was, and although young it still lacked that innocence that characterised most children. "What's wrong, sister?" The little boy asked with a voice that sounded so familiar yet so distant. "This is no time for daydreaming, Alexis." He sneered before turning into a fog that cleared up just in time to let her see Voldemort casting a spell which, unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough to block. She didn't know what had happened, all she knew was that her senses along with her reflexes had utterly failed her and now a burning sensation was spreading through her body, causing her to double over with excruciating pain.
She was on the ground, clutching her abdomen in the hopes that the pain would ease away. But it was a known rule that duels such as this one didn't allow either participant to take a break, and it was clear for her and for everyone around her that her time was running out. She saw his feet stepping closer as he approached her, scrutinising her slumped figure with displeasure. He was still out of it, still Voldemort, still allowing his overall hatred to cloud his genuine sentiments for his sister. After all, it wasn't far fetched to say Tom Riddle had anger management issues.
She mustered the courage to look him in the eye, knowing very well that playing the sentimental card would be worthless, but still, she wanted to look him in the eye, she wanted him to see that his sister didn't fear him. He sneered, crouching down to further inspect her, unfazed by the burning rage in her eyes. "Your sentimentalism has always been your biggest weakness." There was a venom in his voice as he muttered that sentence, a venom she had heard in plenty of occasions yet it had never been directed towards her. She wasn't fazed by it, though, because she knew this wasn't personal, he was simply an overall monster. But Alexis Riddle was a formidable young woman, and she had lost her fear of monsters a long time ago. So when he pointed his wand right at her face and sent her flying backwards she felt no fear, and although crashing against the wall was indeed painful, she'd felt worse pains.
She laid on the ground defeated, feeling how time continued to mock her. There was a helplessness eating her away as she laid there, filling her with anxiety, but suddenly a ghostly figure appeared for her eyes only. There was little Merope could physically do, but the peace her presence brought to Alexis was more than enough help. This was it, this was the end, and she'd made peace with that. This wasn't how she wanted things to turn out, this wasn't the ending she had hoped for, but she knew better than to question the universe's timing.
Her gaze landed on James, watching with sorrow how his body trembled with sobs. She smiled a little, a comforting smile that did little to soothe him, before mouthing what would possibly be her last word because time wasn't waiting for her any longer. "I'm so sorry."
Tom forced her attention back to him. Standing a good ten feet away, with an evil look in his eyes and a sardonic smile playing on his lips, contorting his appearance to a much sinister one. "Sister," he nodded as a farewell. "It's been a pleasure. Avada Kedavra!"
Death doesn't discriminate
Between the sinners and the saints,
It takes, and it takes, and it takes
And we keep living anyway.
We rise and we fall
And we break,
And we make our mistakes.
And if there's a reason I'm still alive
When everyone who loves me has died
I'm willing to wait for it.
I'm willing to wait for it.
Wait for it.
Cries and screams echoed in the room that had been previously drowning in a deafening silence. The tension was palpable, mixing unpleasantly with the feeling of death that lingered in the air. The only problem was that Alexis could still feel all of this. She had closed her eyes as she waited for the impact, but seconds had gone by and she didn't feel any less alive. She slowly opened her eyes, dreading what the scene that awaited her could be. Time froze once again and her senses turned foggy as her gaze landed on the unresponsive figure of the girl laying in between Tom and herself, and in that exact second her senses returned just in time to allow her to hear the heart-wrenching scream of Remus. Adrenaline rushed through her body, causing her breathing to become high-pitched and her body to become numb as she slowly neared Catherine's dead body.
There was a mist clouding her vision as she held the limp body of her friend. Silent sobs escaped her body as guilt began to steadily consume her. That was the night Alexis Riddle should've died and yet it simply became another day in which she had to carry her brother's burdens. Another day of having to pay the consequences for Tom's actions. Another day of having to live through the pain and fear her brother inflicted. Just like any other day. She looked up at Tom's frozen figure, noting that his Voldemort trance-like state had faded as he was now looking down at her perplexed. But she was tired of the blood in his hands dripping into her own, and for the first time ever she no longer recognised Tom Riddle, all she saw was Lord Voldemort.
Her nostrils were flaring and her hands had balled into fists as she felt the fury consuming her, but before she was able to act on said sentiment a much needed back up arrived. Sneaking in through the door left to the staff table, Dumbledore looked like he'd had a rough time yet the perseverance in his face made it clear he was far from over. Suddenly, the invisible force that was restricting Hogwarts' students and staff disappeared, allowing them to fall to the ground and regain their movement.
Bellatrix shrieked at the sight of the Headmaster, immediately trying to hit him with a spell. But family drama runs deep and Sirius felt like it was his personal duty to handle his maniac of a cousin, and so he did, commencing yet another round in the arduous battle. Alexis was overwhelmed, not wanting to leave Catherine's side yet alarmed by Tom's retrieving figure. "Go get him," a voice startled her, making her turn to her right and lock gazes with Remus. He placed his shaky hands underneath Catherine before turning to Alexis, "I'll get her to a safer place. You go."
She nodded, unsure of what to say, unable to imagine the pain he was going through. She was about to make her way out the door to follow Tom's steps when Dumbledore stopped her. "Are you sure you can do this?"
"Never been more sure."
"You always have to ruin everything." The sound of Alexis' voice made Tom stop on his tracks in the middle of the deserted courtyard, yet he refused to turn and face his sister. "We could've had a good life, Tom. We could've left our troubled past behind us, but it's almost as if you choose to be haunted by it."
Tom's demeanour was tense, yet the erratic behaviour had visibly toned down. "You and I, we're nothing but the product of a loveless union. Conceived under the use of a love potion," he spat with disgust.
"So, tell me, Tom," she took taunting steps towards him, "was it the love potion that made you want to kill me?"
"I never wanted to kill you." He immediately retaliated, turning on his heels to finally face her. "I told you to stay away from all of this."
It absolutely infuriated her to hear him speak as if he had no choice on the matter. As if he couldn't help himself. As if all the casualties had been a necessity. She shook her head, her eyes giving away the boiling anger that should've served as a warning to him. With one swift movement she sent him flying backwards just like he had done to her a couple of minutes prior. Showing absolutely no remorse in her actions, she walked towards him and crouched down to be on his level. "Get up. I'm not done with you."
"I'm not doing this," he shook his head, refusing to look her in the eye. She could see why. She could see the regret eating him away, the disappointment over his actions. He had tried to kill her that night, and the thought alone was going to give him nightmares for years to come. "Not again."
Alexis sighed. Her initial anger wore off, leaving her exhausted instead. "You were going to kill me," she murmured, only then assimilating the harsh reality they had lived through. "You killed my friend."
"I didn't mean to." He was having trouble keeping a stoic expression, yet was adamant on not expressing his emotions. "You know I'd never hurt you. I was just... out of it."
"Leave." She said firmly, looking straight ahead as opposed to towards him. "Take all of your Death Eaters and leave. I don't have the heart or the courage to kill you or send you to Azkaban. I'm not the right person for that, you've been fairly good to me, but someone out there is going to make you pay for all you've done. I'm going to let that someone get their revenge."
Tom nodded and got up, hoping to make a quick exit and finally put an end to that nightmare of a night. "Tom." Her voice stopped him once again, only this time it was softer, pleading. "Please let me live my life. If you care about me, somewhere inside that twisted mind of yours, then let me and my loved ones be happy."
"You know I care about you." His voice was cold, however it was in an attempt to disguise his emotions, she could tell. "You have my word on that."
It seemed as if everything was finally coming to an end. The battle was finally over, allowing people to truly assess what had happened. However, Tom gave Alexis a final warning before leaving. "Don't trust Pettigrew," he said before disappearing in the darkness of the night.
The castle looked dark and gloomy, almost as if its walls were mourning the several lives it had lost. Alexis took slow steps as she walked further inside, taking her time to analyse the catastrophe they had witnessed. She was able to overhear Dumbledore speaking to McGonagall on her way to the Hospital Wing, a conversation that was most likely meant to stay private. "There were approximately 10 fatalities. Unfortunately, only two of them were Death Eaters. However, we were lucky that they left empty handed. The sword remains with us, and it will serve as our most powerful weapon when--"
"Headmaster! Headmaster!" Slughorn abruptly interrupted Dumbledore, "We've caught Peter Pettigrew."
Although a confrontation with Peter was inevitable, Alexis was far too exhausted to act out on her emotions. Dumbledore would take care of the situation, that she was sure of, but now her biggest concern was facing the reality they had to live with now, and it was waiting for her in the Hospital Wing.
She took a deep breath as she stood in front of the doors of the buzzing room, trying to prepare herself for the worst, not even managing to hope for the best. No one felt her presence as she stepped in seeing as the room was far too crowded either by injured and deceased people, or by the ones accompanying them. Every bed was occupied and people were going back and forth, turning the room into a hectic mess. The first person she recognised happened to be the one she was least ready to face. Understanding that Remus needed space, she stood frozen in place, watching from afar as the boy came undone, holding on to Catherine's body with urgency yet delicacy. She heard faint words along the lines of, "I was so foolish, I wasted the little time we had together," coming from his mouth, yet the rest of his words were strained and muffled.
Alexis swallowed the lump in her throat and continued walking, eventually running into yet another familiar face, only this one was more comforting. Sirius' concern was crystal clear, his eyes scanning over her body, looking for an injury. "Are you alright?" His voice was hoarse, definitely due to the crying.
"Yes, you?"
"Yeah, me too," he whispered. "I just checked on Ivy." Alexis' head snapped up at the mention of their friend, making Sirius offer her a reassuring smile. "She's alright," he added, "needs a little time, though." His gaze shifted to someone behind her, making a small smile appear on his lips. "I'll leave you to it."
Alexis was mildly confused until she felt a pair of arms wrapping around her. "You scared me to death, woman!" James' muffled and hoarse voice was music to her ears, and suddenly the overly tight embrace happened to be just what she needed. They both found comfort on each other's arms and they relished on it, enjoying every single second from the brief pause they had created. "And now what?" James whispered, keeping her close as his eyes scanned through the room and the many victims it sheltered.
"Now we move on."
Tired faces and sobbing people filled the room. That night had been a traumatizing, and most certainly a memorable one for many, but the damage had been done and now all they could do was recalibrate. There was work that needed to be done. Walls that needed reinforcement. And many wounds that needed to heal. But amongst them remained the hope of better days, even if their today was filled with tragedy and sorrow.
Dumbledore wanted the entirety of the Hogwarts student body and staff to pay respect to Catherine and the noble cause she had died for, so before the school year ended and everyone went back home for the summer he made sure to give her a worthy funeral considering there were no family members to do that for her.
The three boys stood on the side, accompanied by Alexis and Ivy, all watching people come and go in a somber silence with the occasional sobbing fit. They were still healing, still in disbelief. Especially Remus and Ivy, who were unable to go more than an hour without weeping. But Dumbledore had news to deliver and, by the looks of it, they could wait no longer.
The Headmaster approached them silently, joining them on the sidelines of the service. "Pettigrew claimed he was under the Imperio curse and was found not guilty. He will be returning to Hogwarts next year."
The sentimentalism of the evening was left temporarily behind as outrage and downright anger replaced it. All five of them voiced their complaints at the same time, making Dumbledore smile comfortingly at them. "But Sir, he's lying! We know he's lying!"
"We do know, Mr. Black," Dumbledore nodded, "however, we seemed to be the only ones who do. Enjoy your break, we will handle this situation in September." He winked at them before making his way over to the rest the Professors, leaving the discontent students behind.
Ivy sat in between Sirius and Remus while Alexis and James took the seat across from them, all of them admiring the scenery they knew so well as the Hogwarts Express made its way to London. Although still quite dispirited, they had all made peace with the fact they needed time to get closure, and thankfully, summer was willing to give them just that.
There was an agony that Remus couldn't seem to shake off, which his friends completely understood and were more than willing to help with. His gaze had turned permanently sad and it was obvious to see the memories still haunted him regardless of what activity he was partaking on. She had slipped right through his fingers. One second he had ran for his life to protect her and fight alongside her, and the next he helplessly watched as the Death Eater restricting her got distracted, giving her a chance to act. And she took it, with no hesitance whatsoever, she jumped in front of Alexis, moving quickly so no one could stop her. He had been observing her, watching her every move, watching how she regained her ability to move. Goyle had made a terrible mistake, you see, because Catherine was not the type of person you let your guard down against. Remus had learned that firsthand. You can't let your guard down with her because then she'll infiltrate your soul and take over your senses until she manages to get to your heart. Yes, Goyle had made a terrible mistake.
A comfortable silence engulfed them as their minds all wandered to different places. There were still inner demons they needed to fight and conflicts that needed solving, but the promise of an adventurous yet peaceful summer kept them hopeful. So the demons and the conflicts could wait, because a summer with the Potters waited ahead.
Today we say goodbye to this amazing character! Yes, she was flawed and she made her mistakes, but she was always there if needed, ready to help her friends and the boy she loved. And at the end of the day, she made Remus happy, what more could we ask for?
A/N:
The countdown begins!
Was this chapter as dramatic as you expected? Are you satisfied with the outcome? I struggled to keep Tom on character because he's obviously no cry baby.
I know by now you've probably warmed up to Alexis' presence with the Marauders, but how do you feel about Ivy? This book will technically end with all five of them being a little group as opposed to the four boys in the canon story 👀
Did you guys like this chapter? It took quite some time to write but I hope it was worth it.
Please vote and comment your opinions!! ❤️❤️