Excruciatingly Correct Behavi...

By clarady

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Don't be forward when interested
Stay properly attired at all times
Always cover your mouth when you yawn
Still wagging tongues with impeachable decorum
To avoid scandal, have a chaperone at all times
"Please" and "Thank you"
Kneel before the king
Never show your emotions
Elocution is necessary -- especially in a crowd
Better to be a mystery than an open book
One simply cannot discourse without an introduction
Heathen-like, wild behavior is improper
Duelist's challenges are acts of honor
White lies are still deceit
Lorgnettes are for use at a opera only
Be sure to always step around puddles
Never speak in an inappropriate tone
Make sure the safety is on until it isn't
"And so he said unto the world"
No utensil should ever be heaped with food
Florid speech a politician does make
Shady corners promote bad behavior
One does not wear white tie to a brunch
Interruptions bring shame to all
Much can be said with no words
Miss Mary, never Mrs.
For a basic rib knit one, purl one
The thrill is in the chase
One hand should always cover the lid of a teapot
Choosers aren't beggars
Money is never up for discussion -- it's strictly personal
Obey the law -- proven or not
Be polite to locals
Bloomers are hung on a line in the shade
The silent treatment indicates social downfall
Cakes are always handed to the eldest lady first
Smile in all wedding photos
A home is never empty
Never say "Goodbye", only "'Til next time"
You should never call after nine in the evening
Mercy is the sign of a great man

Never give money to panhandlers

842 122 23
By clarady

Ever had a stranger walk up to you, tap your shoulder, and ask you to give them something like your change or clothes?

If you've been in this situation, you know it's not very comfortable. In fact, most people tend to shy away from the contact right away and give the inquirer the stinky-eye. And probably decide that said inquirer is off his nut.

Or it's like if you were Alice and all of sudden people be like "Kill that Jabberwocky!" and you're like "Look guys, if you haven't noticed, it's a poem. About a Jabberwock. Why the heck would I kill a poem? You're all bojangle wiggity-wack yo (You're all crazy)."

Yet people on Wattpad have no qualms approaching total strangers with no previous interactions for a read/critique request.

And, for some reason, this is becoming a daily occurrence for me right now.

I love to do critiques, I really do. But if I have had no previous contact with you and my ad is off the "Find a Critic" thread, how the hell did you find me? More importantly, why are you assuming that I'm willing to give you a critique?

I don't mind it when people I've chatted to or helped before contact me for these sort of things, but I'm talking about straight-up strangers. People whose profile pic and username I simply have never seen before.

If a critic's ad is offline or closed, there is a reason for it. It means there's other stuff going on in my life that I need to sort out before I can spend time doing critiques. And, frankly, to all those strangers who contacted as to why I can't give them a critique, it's none of your damn business.

As the tough Alice that I always imagined would say, "I'm surrounded by doolallies. This is insane. I'm leaving this flipped out, looper-filled rabbit hole. Peace!"

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