Words will scratch more heart than swords.
Mae
At seven in the morning, I woke up feeling okay until I sat up, and my head began pounding. Holy crap, is this what a hangover feels like?
I looked around, and the water on my nightstand demanded I drink some. I started chugging the water as I grabbed the bottle of Advil and took four. I got up, needing to pee, and realized I didn't have pants on.
I furrowed my eyebrows, thinking back from yesterday, and put my head in my hands with what I remembered.
My goodness, I had Owen change me! What was I, five?!
When I set the bottle of pills down, I saw a note.
Text me if you wake up alive. Haha :) ~Owen
I used the restroom before anything then grabbed my dying phone, connecting it to the charger, and saw a text from Damien.
Good morning, beautiful. I know I haven't texted you, but I'm really busy here. I'll tell you all about it when I get back. Call me at 1-2 pm if you can. I would like to talk to you on FaceTime before I go to sleep. -D
Have a good day ;* -D
I smiled and texted him back. I also texted Owen that I was alive, and he called me. He was one of those.
"Hello?" I answered, snuggling deeper into the blanket as I laid my ear on the phone.
"How's the hangover?" He chuckled, sounding peachy. Freakin alcoholics, where's his hangover? I demand a refund.
"I'm never drinking ever again," I groaned, earning loud laughter from Owen. "Shh."
"Sorry." He chuckled, clearing his throat a bit.
"Papi, lookit," a little girl in the distance said.
"Is that your daughter?" I smiled. She had an adorable voice.
"Yeah, she's trying to show me a handstand," Owen answered before talking to his daughter. "Walk toward me."
"Lookit, I'm doing—" I heard a thud and then giggling.
"Are you okay?" Owen asked, sounding worried.
"Yeah, I'm gonna try again." She laughed. She sounded a bit like the women in the recording Owen played last night. Thinking of last night set tremendous amounts of embarrassment in.
"Hey," I called to Owen.
"Yeah?" Owen answered but got distracted by his daughter. "Put your dishes in the sink."
"No!" His daughter said, and I pulled back the corners of my lips.
"One," Owen counted.
"Two," his daughter counted back, and I smiled. She was daring.
"Oh, really?" Owen asked with authority.
"No, no, I'll do it!" She said. Small, heavy footsteps sounded through the phone, and the sound of dishes clanking together did as well.
"Sorry, what were you saying?" Owen asked. I was going to speak, but his daughter started talking to him again.
"Papi, look!" She said.
"Just give me two minutes, okay? I'm talking on the phone," Owen told her in a soft, sweet voice.
"How much are two minutes?" She asked.
"A hundred and twenty seconds."
"How much is a hun—the number you said?"
"A hundred and twenty seconds," Owen repeated, enunciating, and slowing it down so she could understand.
"How much is a hundred and twenty-seconds?" She asked.
"Two minutes."
"Paaapii." She laughed
"Please, mamas, just give me a minute," Owen told her. "Watch SpongeBob."
"Fiiiine," she said, dragging out the word. "One minute."
I laughed and could hear Owen sighing. "She's adorable," I told him.
"She's a monster in disguise," he said, making me laugh. "I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday."
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry. I feel extremely embarrassed." I shook my head, sliding my hand down my face. I crinkled my nose when I could feel my makeup on my face. I hated sleeping in makeup.
"It's okay. It's just... the changing your clothes part—"
"I know, I know. I'm so sorry you had to do that." I cringed my face in embarrassment.
"I didn't mind. Like I told you, I do it for my girls, and my girlfriend when she's drunk, but, if that was some complete, sick motherfucker, he could have taken advantage of you. Most likely would have. I just want you to know that not everyone is going to do what I did and not take advantage of you."
I nodded, realizing that I was very lucky to not have that happen to me.
"So... do you understand how terribly wrong that could have gone?" Owen asked.
"I do, I know. Thank you for not taking advantage of me," I told him.
"You shouldn't have to thank me, Mae. I would never do that. No one should. I would probably murder whoever did that to my girls," Owen said, and I could picture him shaking his head. "That's one of the things I don't know how to prevent from my kids. I know I can't shelter them in or else I would." He laughed. "It's what my mom did with my sister, and she ended up being wild."
"Yeah, I get what you mean. It's scary to think that we can't protect our kids from everything."
"For real. I'm probably gonna lock my kids in a tower like Rapunzel. She came out fine," he joked, and I laughed but regretted it when my head started pounding.
"Ugh, I'm never drinking again." I groaned
"Drink some 7-up, and eat some soup," he told me. "Usually makes me feel better."
"Sounds good," I said, and he chuckled.
"Just remember to not let anyone change you when you're hella drunk. Even a boyfriend could take advantage of you. They think, 'Well, that's my girlfriend. I could have sex with her if I want.' But that's not true. Consent is needed even in a relationship. If you don't want to, don't. Never feel obligated to do something you don't want to do," Owen told me, and I nodded my head understanding.
"I won't," I promised, not only to him but to myself as well.
"It's been more than one minute!" His daughter shouted from the distance.
"I should go," Owen laughed. "I hope you feel better and heed what I told you."
"I will, and I did." I nodded. "Bye."
"Bye-bye," he said and hung up.
After a much-needed bath, I got out and dressed in a hoodie and sweat pants. I could definitely feel the weather change today. What was I thinking not wanting bottoms to sleep in last night? I laid back in my bed because I was still too hungover to function. I fell back asleep, waking up again around twelve, only to feel nauseous but not enough to feel like I was going to throw up.
I walked out of my room, hearing throwing up from Zach's room, but when I walked in, Zach was asleep, and James wasn't here.
"James?" I called out. The restroom door opened, and a queazy James walked out.
"I'm never drinking again." He cringed, shaking his head, and holding his stomach.
"I thought you didn't drink that much," I told him and then crossed my arms in the realization that he lied to me just to drive my car.
"I might have drink-drank-dranken-dr-drunk-drunken—"he shook his head—"guzzled, chugged, whatever the fuck it's called, that Henny bottle in the cabinet because I wanted to be drunk," he told me, and I dropped my arms.
"Oh," I said, and he nodded. "We should eat some Menudo."
"Yes, that sounds bomb." He nodded, walking to Zach and slapping his butt.
"I hate you," Zach mumbled, sitting up, and holding his head.
"Hungover?" I asked, and he shook his head.
"Stress headache. I was hoping it'd go away when I went to sleep, but it didn't." He shook his head.
"Take some Advil," I told him, walking out, and into the kitchen. I stumbled, still feeling a tad bit drunk. I went into the pantry, hoping there was a can of Menudo, and smiled when I found a can. "Someone go get 7-up."
"Too drunk," James said, slumping down on a chair at the kitchen table.
"Too depressed," Zach mumbled, opening the fridge, but closing it a second later.
"I thought you'd be happy after getting some last night." James laughed and then held his head, laying it down on the table.
"You'd be wrong," Zach said.
"Why, what happened?" I asked.
"Nothing." Zach shook his head.
"Tell me." I signed.
"My PTSD medication affects my performance... when, you know," Zach answered.
"Why the secrets?" James asked, lifting his head and then setting his back down.
"No secrets," Zach said.
"So secrets and lies."
"Go to the store," I told James, trying to change the subject.
"It's probably the medication your taking, Z. Affects your sholong," James said then laughed at his choice of word.
"Don't search through my shit."
"Your shits all out." James stood. "Your medication, that is." He walked to Zach. "There are alternatives when taking that kind of medication."
"I don't wanna talk about it."
"I mean, someday you have to, Z. You can't keep what happened to you your whole life bottled up," James said, and we both looked at him.
"What are you talking about?" I asked.
"I know." James nodded, his eyes lowering with sadness. We didn't have to ask what he knew. The look on his face said he knew what Zach and I had to go through ever since we were kids.
"Since when?" Zach asked.
"We were changing one time in the locker room, and when you took off your shirt, your back was covered in bruises," James recalled. "Sure, we get bruises but never like that."
"The one time I slipped up and forgot to change in the restroom." Zach looked down, shaking his head.
"I always tried being there for you, but I never knew how." James looked away, looking guilty. I was too hungover to talk about this but also knew that someday, James was going to have to know. "I never wanted to pry, but I never wanted to leave you alone either. It's why I always asked to spend the night."
Anytime James spent the night, Mitch would never hit us. He actually treated us better when James was around. I guess, in a way, James was the savior I had always prayed for. I guess I never realized that.
"Why didn't you just confront us?" I asked, and James shrugged.
"I didn't know how to. At the time, I was a kid. What could I do? I just hoped that if I was around, you'd both get hit less, and when I was, he seemed nice to you. I actually doubted what I saw until Mitch picked you guys up from school one time. I was going to ask for a ride because my dad was on the road, and my mom got called into work, and we lived too far to walk. But, when I started walking toward you guys, I saw you guys talking, and then Mitch reached in the backseat and pulled Mae's hair, slamming her head into the passenger's seat."
I thought back to that day and remembered the time. I had a test that day, and Mitch knew about it, so when I got into the car, he asked what score I got. I couldn't study for the test because he had us up all night cleaning the house. That test was the last test I ever failed.
"Do you see us differently?" I asked, not wanting to but being unable to help myself. I didn't want to seem insecure or like I cared what people thought, but, ultimately, I did care. I had always cared.
"No, I still love you," James said, before shaking his head. "Both of you," he added.
"No, I still love you—"he shook his head—"Both of you," he added.
"I would've told you, but I didn't want you to think—"Zach shook his head—"I don't know. I... I didn't wanna seem weak, you know? Like if I wasn't a man 'cause I couldn't take care of myself."
"Being weak doesn't make you less of a man," James reassured. "When we're raised, we're taught no matter if our parents hit us, never hit them back." It was nice to know he didn't see us differently and still cared for us. We made Menudo and bonded in ways it felt like we were never able to with James. Keeping this secret from James always felt like there was something holding down our relationship with him, but now that it was out in the open, our friendship seemed more genuine in a way."
"That was some good Menudo," James said, leaning back in his chair, and we nodded in agreement. I felt a lot less drunk and hungover.
My phone started ringing, but it was a number I didn't recognize. I let the call finish but received a text message.
Hey it's Max I need a huge favor -Max
What is it? -Mae
Car broke down phone dying grocery store ice cream asshole didn't answer -Max
It took me a second to comprehend the text message, but once I did, I got up, put my shoes on, grabbed my keys, and walked out.
What store? -Mae
I warmed up my car and waited for a text back but never received it. I looked over the text and seen that he said his phone was dying.
"Lexi, activate."
"Activated."
"I need you to pinpoint a location from a text message."
"One moment while I locate, please."
"Do yo thang." I laughed and sat back. She gave me the destination within the next few seconds, so I backed out and drove away. Pulling into the parking lot of the grocery store, I saw Max and his family standing next to a smoking, rusted blue, nineteen-ninety-four Honda Civic Ex.
He held up his hands and looked up, looking thankful when he saw me pull up. I got off the car, and he said a few words in Spanish before looking at me.
"Thank you!" He sighed, grabbing a few bags of groceries, so I opened my trunk and grabbed some groceries as well. I was familiar with one of his siblings, but I couldn't remember her name for the life of me and then his two younger siblings.
"How did you find me?" Max asked once I started driving.
"With the help of me, of course. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Maximus," Lexi said.
"Wow!" His little brother, who couldn't have been more than five-years-old, said. "She has a transformer!"
"Cool!" His little sister, who was probably a year older than the little brother, gushed.
Max looked at me, and I smiled. I couldn't deactivate Lexi because his sister was in the car, and the manual off switch had been glitching recently, desperately needing to be fixed and updated.
"Right." Max nodded. "The software that helps you with..." he trailed off, not wanting to say what he was going to, most likely because of his sister.
I nodded.
"You are acquainted with my software, Maximus?" Lexi asked.
"I go by Max, and I'm not really all that good with the whole English thing, but if you're asking if I know your software, yeah. It's hella cool."
"'Hella cool,'" Lexi repeated, and I smiled. I didn't program her to speak English slang, so whenever she heard it, she often repeated it, commemorating it to her database. "Why thank you, Max."
"What's your name?" Max asked.
"My name is Lexi. Any other questions, Max?"
Max looked at me, and I nodded, not wanting to tell him no. "How did Mae create you?"
"That is not something I can answer. My apologies, Max."
"You're good, but I'm better." I signed to him when I stopped at the traffic light. I drove to his house after he gave Lexi the address and helped him unload the groceries. I felt bad to walk into his house, but his sister said it was okay.
"Put the ice cream away first, Ash," Max told his sister.
Ash. That was her name.
I set the bags on the counter and heard a door close, followed by an older lady walking out. She looked at me and then started telling Max something in Spanish.
"My car overheated. I don't wanna hear it right now, Abuela," Max sighed. I walked out timidly and went to grab more groceries. I walked back with a few bags in my hand, but, instead of walking inside, Ash took them from me, thanked me, then walked back inside. I walked back to my car, closed my trunk, and got in, but Max's little brother was still in the backseat.
"I wanna talk to the transformer," he said, and I laughed.
"Go ahead." I smiled. I wasn't scared to talk to him. I mean, he was a five-year-old. "What's your name?"
"Norberto, but everyone just calls me Beto," he said and climbed in the front seat.
"Ask away," I told him. He sat there, never asking a question. Was he thinking of one to ask?
"Do you know everything?" Beto finally asked.
"Everything that is known," Lexi said, but Beto just looked confused.
"She does," I told him.
"Oh." He nodded. "Do you know if someone can come here from Mexico?"
"Of course. It is possible."
"Can you bring my parents?"
"No. I am just artificial intelligence. My sincere apologies, little Beto."
"Your parents are in Mexico?" I asked him, and he nodded.
"Thanks anyway, transformer," Beto sighed and opened the car door.
"My pleasure, little Beto."
I smiled at the nickname. I had never heard Lexi give someone a nickname, but, on the other hand, she had never come into contact with children either.
I heard shouting, and Beto stayed in the car, not wanting to leave.
"Don't bring that up again!" I heard Max shout. Their walls were thin, and their windows were opened. I heard everything as if I was standing inside the house.
"Hijo de puta [Motherfucker!]! I told you over and over again! Don't fucking buy food with that dirty money! That's the devil's money!" I heard his grandma shout.
"Well, then, I love the devil's money!"
"You're going straight to hell!"
"Me importa una puta mierda [I don't give a shit!]!"
"You will when you burn!"
"My little brother and sisters are hungry. The fuck I'm supposed to do?"
"Get a damn job!"
"People don't hire immigrants. They fucking rip us off tryin' do under the table!"
"You're not going anywhere in life!" His grandma told him. "You're gonna be a low life like your father!"
"Fuck you!" Max sneered.
"No, fuck you! Move out!"
"Don't start with that bullshit again, Abuela!" Max shouted. I looked at Beto, and he covered his ears, bringing his knees to his chest. I felt bad for him; he reminded me of myself
"Don't fucking talk to me like that! The devil has gotten in you. You're talking to me with so much disrespect, and using his money."
"You always bitch about me using that kind of money! But what the fuck do you do when I hand it to you?! You take it, don't you?! You fucking take it, don't you?!" Max shouted, anger booming in his voice.
"Get the fuck out of my house! GEEET OOOOUUUT!" She screeched, and seconds later, a furious Max slammed the door as he walked out the front door. He looked at me and walked to the car.
"Can you take me back to my car?" He asked, and I nodded. "Beto, get in the back."
Beto climbed into the backseat, putting his seatbelt on. His little sister came running out, her chubby cheeks jiggling as she ran to the car.
"I wanna go," she said, breathing sort of heavy from the small run.
Max patted his knee, and she sat down on his lap. Ash walked out with a skateboard in her hand.
"I'mma go to the skate park," she told him. She looked sad despite the hard, edgy goth look she wore.
"Be careful," he told her.
"You too," she said and rode her skateboard down the sidewalk.
I drove off to his car. "You can come over if you want," I offered him.
"It's okay," he said, his voice distant and clipped. I pulled up to his car, and he got off with his siblings. "Thanks."
I nodded. I felt bad to leave him alone; it didn't feel right to me. My phone started ringing, so I answered it when I saw it was Damien.
"Hey," Damien said, sounding like he was smiling.
"Hey," I said, looking at Max, contemplating if I should stay with him.
"Everything okay?" Damien asked, almost as if he could read the tone of my voice.
"Well," I started. "Max's car broke down, so I picked him up, and then he kind of had a fight with his grandma."
"He's pissed off?"
"Yeah."
"This is usually the time when he needs a friend. He doesn't show it, but if you stick around, he will."
"So I should stay with him?"
"Unless you mind."
"No, of course not. I just didn't wanna pry. I'll talk to you later?"
"Yeah. Don't forget to call. Just call me when you're free. Even if I'm asleep, call me."
"Okay." I laughed. I probably wouldn't because I wouldn't know if he would still want to talk to me.
"I miss you." His voice was soft, making me smile.
"I miss you, too." I smiled, not wanting to hang up but knowing I should. "I'll talk to you later."
"For sure."
I got off the car and walked toward Max as he looked under his hood. His little brother was mimicking him, pretending to be a mechanic, having his sister hand him imaginary tools.
"Lemme help you with that," I told him.
"You don't have to." Max shook his head.
"I know a lot about cars. It's better to fix them than to take them in."
"Yeah, they usually do something to mess it up so you have to take it in again," Max said, not apprearing angry anymore.
"What's your little sister's name?" I asked, nodding toward the little girl who was handing Beto an imaginary wrench.
"Rosario," Max answered, and she looked at him. I smiled toward her, and her face reddened as she looked down. "Say Hi."
"Hola," Rosario said, and I smiled.
"Hola."
"Como estàs [How are you?]?"
"Estàs bien [I'm Good.]." I nodded. "You?"
"Good." She nodded.
"They're adorable." I smiled
"They take after me." He shrugged with a cocky and arrogant smile.
"Lemme work my magic." I shook my head, smiling, and he laughed. I looked under the hood and saw that his water pumps were broken. He needed water, alongside some coolant. "Nothing serious; some water and coolant will do."
"I'm always putting coolant, but it always leaks," Max said.
"Yeah," I said, looking closer under the hood and noticed his radiator hose was all duck taped. "Yeah, you need a new hose." I smiled.
"More like I need a new car." Max shook his head, looking disappointed. "When the Reapers fucked up my car, I had to junk it, so I got this one from the junkyard for cheap, but I should have saved the other one. This one's a piece of shit."
"Why'd they do it?"
He smiled, looking away. "I may or may not have slept with one of their sisters. But to be fair, I didn't know it was one of their sisters when I started flirting. But, when I woke up in her bed, I saw him in the living room knocked out, so I stole his pit bull."
"What'd you do with it?" I asked, worried about the dog.
As if he could see my concern, he waved me off and said, "Nothing bad. She was suffering anyway, all depressed, outside with no blanket or bed, and it was cold as shit outside, so I gave him to my friend, Gunner. You know him, right?"
"Yeah." I nodded, remembering Gunner, the boy I worked with at a pizza parlor.
"Yeah, well, he's a huge animal lover. He loves to cook, and he cooks these little homemade dog treats for her. Cutest shit ever. He spoilers her, so she's in better hands with Gun than with that leech." The disgust on his face at the mention of the Reapers was serious, and I didn't want him to get angry again, so I mentioned his car, trying to change the subject.
"Well, good news: for this car, we can fix it. I'll call up Billy and ask if he has any parts, maybe some he can spare," I said, and Max nodded.
"Sounds good." I sent a text to Billy, to which he responded back a couple of seconds later. We put some water in his car and drove to Billy's bar. When I arrived, Billy, Jose, and Josh were waiting outside. A smile instantly appeared on my face.
"And here I thought I was never going to see you again," Billy said when I got off the car. I smiled and walked to him, hugging him. It felt like forever.
"Aye, Chingona, we thought we'd never see you again," Jose said. I pulled away from Billy and gave Jose a hug. "I missed you, bro."
I laughed.
"For real, dude. Especially after what Billy did," Josh said, and I gave him a hug too. I looked at Billy when Josh said that, and his face flood with guilt and sorrow as he looked down.
"What's up, man," Max said, and they greeted each other the way guys did. Beto and Ruby stayed in the car with the windows rolled down. I looked at Billy and smiled. I wanted to talk to him; I wanted to speak to all of them.
"Why you smilin'?" Billy asked, my smile only growing. My lips parted, and Max smiled as he looked at me, giving a small nod of encouragement. The guys paid extra attention to me, having a sense that something was going to happen.
"I'm just really happy to see you guys," I said, and the biggest smiles broke out on their faces. "I really missed you guys."
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about, MK!" Billy said, hugging me with all of his strength, which put a smile on my face.
"So I learned sign language for nothing?" Jose asked, and I gaped at him when I pulled away from Billy.
"That's what you take away from all of this?" I asked him, and he smiled.
"Damn, it's really good to hear your voice," Jose said, shaking his head, unable to believe that I was actually speaking. "Damn, so that's what you sound like."
"Right? I thought she would sound all hard and shit," Josh said, and I laughed as I shook my head. "But, for real, I thought the day would never come."
I felt relieved, like, a weight had been lifted off my chest. Everything felt better, lighter, and more, breathable.
"Before we fix the car, can I talk to you?" Billy asked me, so I nodded. We went inside the bar, up to his room, while the guys looked over Max's car.
"I'm really sorry, Mae," Billy apologized. It was strange to hear him call me Mae, so I knew he was serious. I didn't know what to say. After he hurt me, I told him it was okay, but it wasn't. If he ever hurt me, burned me again, well, I didn't know what I'd do. I didn't want to drag it and tell him how wrong it was. That's not why I came. But I also didn't want to tell him that it was okay. When I did last time, it was because I didn't know what else to say. Sure, I forgave him, but the trust I had could and would never be the same.
"Let's just move forward," I told him. There was a look on his face, and I knew it was because he wasn't used to me talking, but he also seemed disappointed by my answer. However, didn't push it any further. "What happened with Razor?" I changed the subject.
"Well, after what happened... you know, with you, I confronted him, telling him how he couldn't be the Black Scorpians' leader anymore. He fought me on it, I lost some people, but a lot more stayed with me, and I took back control. They knew the position should have never been Razors in the first place.
"Where is he now?"
"We were keeping tabs on him, but then, he just disappeared." He shrugged. "I don't know. He's not my responsibility anymore."
I looked at Billy, knowing that he cared, but also knowing he just didn't want to show it. They were best friends once upon a time. Or, maybe he didn't care at all; maybe, he just genuinely grew tired of Razor and couldn't keep caring.
"Okay. Enough heavy talk. What have you been up to?" I didn't want to get all sad and sentimental. I just wanted to catch up and get moving, moving forward so we wouldn't always be stuck on this, stuck on the past.
"Just Black Scorpion business." He looked at me, and I expected him to say more, but, when he didn't, I started laughing. "What do you want me to say?" He laughed.
"I don't know. How's your family, your gang life, have you found a girlfriend? The list could go on." I looked at him, but, with the last question I asked, he looked away. "Do you have a girlfriend?"
He looked at his plain, dull door, and I gasped. "It's not that big of a deal!" He looked at me, an incredulous look on his face from the way I gasped.
"Yes, it is!" I gaped at him. "And you didn't tell me?! The audacity." He smiled as he heard me talk, and I looked away, feeling shy.
"It is really nice to hear you talk." He smiled. "I never thought I'd hear it."
"Nah, nah, nah. You don't get to distract." I pointed at him. "What's her name? Where did you meet? Are you in love?"
"Okay, so we're gettin' personal, personal." He smiled. He hesitated, but eventually opened up. "Well, miss nosy." I smiled. "Her name is Kacedy, and we met here."
"Oh, c'mon!"
"Yes. Okay? I love her." He smiled, and I fell back on his bed, arms out, and a huge smile on my face.
"You're in love!" I almost squealed. I looked at him, and he had a massive smile. "Aww, I'm so happy for you!" I hugged him, and he laughed as he hugged me back.
"Thank you." He hugged me like he did before, with all of his strength. "Do you wanna meet her?"
"She's here?" I pulled away, and he nodded, laughing. I gasped, stood up, and walked down to the bar. I looked around, trying to guess who it was.
"Baby," Billy called out as he walked to the bar. There was a beautiful Black girl standing behind the bar making a drink for one of the Scorpians. To say she was gorgeous would be an understatement. She had beautiful curly hair, the clearest, smoothest skin I had ever seen, and a leather jacket that made her look like a complete badass.
"You didn't tell me you were dating a model," I whispered, and he laughed, pushing me with his elbow.
"Hey." She smiled. He walked behind the bar, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pecked her on the lips.
"I would like you to meet someone," Billy told her. "MK, meet Kacedy. Kacedy, meet MK."
"MK, I've heard a lot about you! I've seen you in so many pictures, but I didn't know you were this beautiful." Kacedy smiled, walking toward me, and embracing me in a hug. Me? Ha! "Ugh! I would kill for hazel eyes like yours."
"Thank you." I smiled, feeling, and looking shy. She looked taken back, looking at Billy with a confused face. It dawned on me that she must have been hearing how I was mute.
"She just spoke to me today," Billy told her with the biggest smile on his face.
"And here I thought I worked a miracle." Kacedy smiled, and then her eyes widened. "I mean, not a miracle." She shook her head. "Not that you needed a miracle to talk or anything. Or, not that that's what it would take for you to talk—"
"Baby." Billy laughed, pulling her to him, and she smiled nervously. It dawned on me why Billy liked her. He was never the type to date extremely hot girls. He had always cared for personality over anything else. Under all of the model, goddess-like persona, she was a regular, quirky girl who rambled and got shy. It was nice watching him with her, basking in all of his happiness. It's something he's needed ever since Razor's ex, Sophie, died.
"I-I ramble, occasionally." She nodded. "I get impulsive."
"Don't worry, we have that in common." I laughed, making her smile.
"I heard you needed us, boss," I heard, and the voice sounded familiar, so I turned around, and my eyes widened.
"Mae," Daniel said, his eyes widening.
"Boss?" I asked.
"Oh, you know them?" Billy asked. "These are the new recruits. Axel, Daniel, and Solan."
"Oh, I know them alright," I signed and narrowed my eyes toward the guys. "Didn't think to share with the class that you were in a gang?"
"We didn't think it was vital information," Solan reasoned.
"It is when you're on the Southside." I signed
"But some of Billy's guys go to school there. So it's cool if we do too," Daniel told me. I looked at Axel, seeing him awfully quiet. I turned around, facing Billy when the night Axel set me up came into mind.
"Did you set me up?" I asked Billy, trying to hide what I signed from the guys, and he furrowed his eyebrows, taking a step back.
"Why would you even think that?" Billy asked, offended. I heard snapping, so I turned around.
"He's trying to help find the guy or guys who had me set up James. It's why we joined," Axel told me.
"We didn't know you guys knew each other," Billy said, furrowing his eyebrows.
"Why didn't you guys say anything?" Josh asked as he stood from the bar.
"We talk about MK all the time," Jose said.
"But Mk's the King," Daniel said, confused what they were insinuating.
"Wait." Solan held out his hands. "Mae's MK?!" Solan asked and then laughed. "Wow!"
"If you're MK," Daniel trailed off, squinting his eyes, and my heart dropped when I knew he was connecting the pieces together .
"Didn't think to share with the class that you were the King?" Axel asked, shaking his head. "Trust is important to me too, Mae, not only you!" He walked out, Daniel and Solan following after him. I looked at Billy, and my head fell back. This just felt like one huge mess, one huge lie.
"Just a little lost," Jose said, confused, and Josh patted his back.
"I'll fill you in, buddy," Josh said.
"Why are they here?" I asked.
"What Axel just said. We're helping him. In return, they run a few missions for me, fix a few cars, and everyone's happy," Billy told me. "When you asked for my help with Max's car, I thought Axel could help. He's a mechanic."
He excused himself due to gang-affiliated business, so I was left to myself. I walked out of the bar and saw Max working with Axel and the guys on his car.
Axel looked behind himself when he heard me approaching but looked away, continuing to fix Max's car. I snapped my fingers, wanting Axel's attention. The other three looked at me, but Axel stayed working on the car. The other three shuffled awkwardly, scratching the back of their head.
"I'mma get a beer," Max said, reading the tension, and the others wanted to leave too, but they didn't. "Beto, Rose, let's see if they have apple juice." I clapped as hard as I could, and Axel stopped working on the car. He turned around, his hands covered in black as he held onto his tool.
"I shared my story with you. It was personal, Mae. You could have been honest with me," Axel signed after setting his tool down.
"No, I couldn't have. Do you honestly think I could have? A stranger walks into my life, sets me up, almost gets my brother and me arrested, and you honestly think after all of that, I'mma tell you who I really am?" I asked."I forgave you, and I actually started to trust you. But I'm sorry: I don't trust you that much."
He nodded, looking down before looking at me again."I understand." He grabbed another tool and turned around. That's it? I looked at Solan and Daniel, but they were looking at Axel. I knew they wanted to say something, but whatever it was, I knew it was going to go against Axel, and that was something they both didn't want to do.
I hesitated, wanting to believe that Axel would turn around and say something, anything. I didn't know why I still cared or why I cared so much, but I did. Axel stopped working and turned around to me as I was about to walk away.
"I'm genuinely sorry, Mae. I like having you as a friend and trust means a lot to both of us. Considering that, you would think we wouldn't lie to our friends." He laughed, and I smiled. "I wanna be honest with you, I do. But I can't if you won't be honest with me."
I thought about it, and I wanted friends. I wanted to have a lot of close friends, and I knew I was going to need to take a step and start letting people in.
"Okay." I nodded."What do you wanna know?"