Sitting alone in the cafeteria, I pick at my food a little, not sure if I want to eat it... or anything else right now.
Well, I did it. I applied for all those colleges, like I was supposed to. It's not something I really wanted to do right away, but my teachers really didn't give me much of a choice in the matter. All day today, all my teachers talked about were which colleges were best for the courses they were teaching us all year. Like they were trying to sell us on the idea of making a career out of what they like to teach.
Except I don't want to make a career out of what they teach, I want to make a career out of what most of them refuse to even acknowledge exists in the world. Vampires and demons and other monsters that aren't even in any of the textbooks I've been reading this year. There isn't a class that I can take for that. The only class that comes close is folklore and mythology, and that class spends most of its time proving why none of them actually exist and how they're all a figment of someone's imagination. Even my teacher doesn't believe in it, I asked him, which is kinda insane with the world we live in and the things that I've seen.
He did say that Stanford was the best school to keep studying this kind of thing though, so I guess that's the best place for me to go. Maybe I'll manage to find a couple people who actually believe and have come into contact with the real thing. With so many slayers out there now around my age, it'd be almost impossible for me NOT to. And if I don't, then I must be as useless as I feel sometimes.
I just hope that Stanford accepts me. Applying to go there doesn't mean a thing if they don't want me there, and I've got more than a couple black spots on my school record, not to mention my grades have a bit of a tendency to go up and down at the drop of a hat. Which is only really partly my fault most of the time, but they aren't really gonna care about that. All they're gonna be able to see is what's on my record, and that'll probably get my application thrown out the window with very little thought put into it.
I stick a fork into one of the meatballs from my spaghetti and meatballs and take a bite out of it, chewing it for a while before swallowing. While I'm doing that though, I notice one of my best friends and one of the biggest bitches in the world making their way over to see me. They smile as they get within range of sitting down with me.
"Hey girl..."
Tess sits down right away, while Candy is pretty hesitant about it, never quite sure whether she should or not. My non-slayer friend looks at her like she's crazy.
"Candy, come on, sit down..."
That makes Candy sit down really uncomfortably in the chair next to Tess.
All right, so I'm gonna have to do this.
Avoiding eye contact with Candy, I smile at Tess and finally speak.
"Hey Tess..."
The bitch who tried to kiss me somehow gets the idea that it's okay to play nice.
"Hey Dawn..."
Rather than respond, I just ignore her, focusing on Tess.
"What's up?"
Tess gets this almost sympathetic edge to her smile.
"Well, I was kinda wondering that about you? We both were. I heard about what happened between you and Faith from some of the girls at the dojo. Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help?"
Her question finally gives me a reason to make eye contact with Candy, trying not to make my glare seem all that obvious.
"No... I think you guys have helped more than enough."
There's a bit of anger behind Candy's look back, before she decides to look down and away with shame and embarrassment.
She should feel that way. It's what she deserves. But they both should know what's going on, if only to get Candy to back off and keep her from getting any stupid ideas in her head like trying it again.
"Besides, it's not a problem anymore. Faith and I got back together last night."
My blonde headed non-slayer friend looks at me with a shocked look that kinda reminds me of Buffy's from this morning but without the hurt or anger. Candy just shifts uncomfortably in her seat and tries to hide how hurt she is by hearing that. Naturally, Tess is the only one to say anything.
"You are?"
She's a lot more like Buffy than I thought.
"Yeah, we are. We worked out the problem we were having and we're okay again."
Tess seems to really like that news.
"You looked a little too happy to be single. That's great. You guys are totally made for each other."
She's always been really supportive of my relationship with Faith. It's good to hear from someone who actually genuinely cares about us being together.
I look over at Candy for a second before coming back to Tess.
Unlike some OTHER people I know.
"Thanks, I think so too."
Candy kinda scoffs and I manage to look at her fast enough to see her roll her eyes. She covers it all up by managing to actually sound like she's happy about the news.
"Yeah, it's great."
Well wasn't that the most absolutely sincere and honest way she could've said that. She can be such a bitch sometimes.
"So I guess everything's okay then eh? Because I was gonna offer to have a chick flick slash slumber party slash girls' night and invite you both to make you feel better. But I guess I can cancel those plans now."
That's really sweet of her.
"Thanks Tess, but yeah, it's not necessary. Everything's okay now."
She smiles genuinely at me.
"Okay... well, I'm gonna go get something for me to eat. You guys want anything?"
Tess gets up and looks at both of us. All I do is point down at my spaghetti in front of me with my fork and smile. Then Tess looks at Candy and she gets waved off.
"No, I'm all right, thanks..."
"All right, I'll be back."
The only person keeping me from yelling at Candy leaves us alone. Once she's far enough away, I just have to turn to Candy.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
She looks at me, a little confused.
"What?"
How can she even ask that?
"You're acting like it's all just okay and that we're friends."
"And?"
"You tried to kiss me Candy. There's nothing friendly about that."
Candy rolls her eyes.
"Then maybe you and Faith aren't doing it right."
What?
"Shut up Candy..."
She seems a little hurt by me saying that.
"Look, I tried to apologize to you about it. I tried more than a few times. But you won't let me. So what else am I supposed to do?"
"I came to you for help Candy, and you kissed me. You don't get to apologize for that. And you don't get to make fun of the fact that Faith and I are back together. Because we are, no matter how much you might hate it. And if you do anything to mess it up..."
Candy kinda leans forward to talk to me.
"You'll do what? Cast a spell on me that'll nearly kill me? Go after a big scary demon by yourself and then not tell me about it? You know what, I've thought about what it means to be with you, and honestly I'd rather not. I might end up dead. So you know what? If you wanna keep almost getting Faith killed instead of me, then go for it. I'm better off that way."
Every part of me wants to slap her for what she just said. So I do. The palm of my hand hits her across the face as hard as I can. She grabs her face at the sting, but I know it didn't hurt as much as I would've liked it to.
My hand probably hurts more than her face... still made me feel better.
"Screw you Candy..."
"I thought you didn't like me that way Dawn. I'm touched."
God, I just wanna...
Without really thinking about it, my hand turns into a fist and I swing it at Candy. She catches it easily with one hand and holds it firmly in her palm.
"I deserved that slap, I know that. But I'm not gonna let you hit me just because you're angry at yourself for kissing me back."
What?
"I didn't..."
Pulling my hand back hard a couple times, I try and get my fist out of Candy's grip. She lets me go just as I pull as hard as I can and it sends me falling backwards into my chair and tipping it over, landing hard against the floor.
Ow!
Candy stands up from her chair and leans against the table to look down at me.
"I was there too Dawn, remember? It takes two people to kiss, one to kiss, and the other to kiss back. And you kissed me back. I may be your friend, but I'm not an idiot."
She thinks she's my friend?
I manage to get out of the chair, despite the pain I'm feeling all over, and stand up to face Candy.
"You're not my friend Candy, maybe you never were. Because as far as I'm concerned, you're just a bitch..."
The bitch of a slayer looking back at me kinda smirks a little.
"Look who's talking..."
If just about every part of me wasn't hurting and my arm wasn't killing me, I'd try and hit her again.
"Just... leave me the hell alone Candy."
She kinda shrugs at me.
"Fine, have it your way."
Then she turns around and walks off. For a few seconds, I watch her walk off to make sure she's actually leaving, then I start picking my chair back up to sit down. Tess actually comes back over at this time and looks confused, a pudding cup and spoon in her hands.
"What happened?"
I really don't want to explain this to her.
"Nothing..."
Finally, I get my chair flat on the ground and start to sit down. Tess sits down in the chair she had before, looking at me.
"Didn't seem like nothing."
"We got into a fight about something. That's all."
She looks at me with concern.
"Oh... are you all right?"
No...
"Yeah, I'll be all right."
The way Tess looks at me, I'm not sure she believes me.
"Okay, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it's not that bad. You guys will find a way to work it out or something. I mean, you guys are friends, right? You'll be okay."
Sure we will...
"Yeah, I guess."
I could tell Tess the truth, but then she might start asking more questions and I'm not really sure that she'd still be my friend after she hears it all.
"Thanks Tess..."
She smiles at me and I smile back while she peels open her pudding cup.
"No problem."
Candy and I aren't friends anymore. And I don't think we ever will be again. Not after what she did.
* * *
I walk through the hallway leading to Faith's apartment and kinda lean up against the wall next to Faith's apartment to relax a bit.
Wow, I don't feel so great. It's been a couple hours since I fell over in my chair on the cold marble floor of the cafeteria, and I still feel a little sore in one place or another. It's not like I'm in any serious danger or pain or anything, I'm just a little bruised and achy. Unfortunately for me, I'm not a slayer like the bitch that did this to me. I don't heal freakishly fast like she does. People like me have to suffer through pain when it happens to them a lot longer than slayers.
Faith will make me feel all better though. I know she's a slayer, so she doesn't really get it, but in a way she does. She's suffered more than most slayers out there now. She's survived 2 major comas and one short one during her whole mind-walk with Angel thing a couple years back. She must know what the slayer equivalent of what I'm feeling now is, which is probably worse. Probably the only person, who's suffered more than Faith is Buffy. Faith's never actually died, and thank god for that. If she ever did, I don't know how I would deal with that.
There were so many moments during her coma that I thought she wasn't going to make it. So many times that I thought maybe she wouldn't ever wake up, no matter what the doctors kept telling me. That's all over now though, thankfully. No more comas, no more sitting and waiting for hours on end, no more not being able to be with her for any reason. We're together, and that's not going to change. I know it'll be hard if I go away to some far off college, but at the end of the day, we'll be together. We love each other, and we'll see each other at every chance we get. That'll keep us together, I know it will. She loves me, and I love her, and we've been through a lot together.
She can make me feel better, I know she can.
Taking a deep breath to feel better, I push myself off the wall and face Faith's door, getting read to knock on it gently. Before I can though, the door swings open and Faith is standing on the other side. We look at each other and I'm sure that Faith has the same confused look on her face that I do.
What?
"Dawn?"
"Faith, hey... how did you know I was here?"
There's a second where Faith doesn't say anything.
"I didn't, I thought I fel-heard something outside, so I went to check. What's up?"
For a second, I shift my weight uncomfortably to keep the pressure off the pains in my legs.
"Nothing, I just... wanted to see you, is all."
She gets that cute grin on her face and moves out of the way of the doorway so I can come in.
"Oh, well I'm all for that. I missed seeing you today."
With nothing stopping me, I walk into Faith's apartment, doing my best to keep my weight off the parts of me that are still achy.
"I missed you too Faith."
My girlfriend closes the door behind me and looks at me weirdly as she walks over and wraps her arms around my waist, much to my delight. I put my arms around her neck lovingly.
"You okay?"
Am I okay?
"I am now, cause I'm with you."
She smiles for a second in the middle of her main hall.
"Well it kinda looked like you were wobbling a little bit there. You sure you're okay?"
"Oh, yeah, that..."
Looking down at myself like I'm looking for something, but I have no idea what, I bring my eyes back to Faith's.
"It's nothing. It's just... I got into a bit of an argument with someone at school and, it didn't end well."
Faith gets this look of concern on her face that kinda reminds me of the look that Buffy sometimes gives me when she's worried about me.
"Are you all right? Did something happen at school? A demon attack or something?"
I shake my head at my girl.
"No... it was just this girl at school that I don't really like that much. She pushed me, and I fell on a hard floor. I'll be all right, I'm pretty sure."
She turns toward the couch and leads me that way.
"Well, sit down. It's better if you get off your feet."
We go over to the couch and Faith makes me sit down.
"It's not like I'm in unbearable pain or anything Faith, I'm okay."
My girlfriend sits down next to me, a huge grin on her face.
"I know, but at least this way I get to say hello to you properly."
She leans forward into a kiss that I gladly accept, letting it deepen quickly as she keeps leaning in more. The kiss lasts a while before I lean back too far the wrong way and stretch one of my aching muscles. It makes me twitch for a second and groan in pain into Faith's lips, grabbing my side where it hurts. That breaks the kiss and Faith backs off.
"Sorry... I didn't mean to, kill the mood."
Faith looks down at where I'm holding my side just under my ribs.
"It's all right."
Her hand covers mine firmly with concern.
"Damn DK, feels like you got yourself a serious bruise there. Are you sure you're all right?"
Smiling at her, I nod.
"Yeah, it doesn't feel TOO bad, you know?"
She rubs her hand over mine a bit.
"Who was it that did this to you? Was it a slayer? Because if it was one of the girls, they've got a serious amount of hurt coming to them."
That'd be a great thing to see. Candy all bruised and beaten up for what she did to me. But that'd probably be the wrong thing to do.
"It's not important baby. Can we just let it go? I'll be fine."
Two of her fingers press into a sore spot as she moves her hand up to my ribs.
"Dawn, this is a serious thing. I need to know who did this to you. I mean, what if this person was after you because you were The Key or something?"
What?
"They weren't."
"Why not? How can you know?"
"Because, it was... Candy."
The look on her face is a little bit of shock and confusion mixed together.
"Candy? Why would you be fighting with Candy? I thought you guys were friends."
Okay, this could be about to get really bad.
"I... we are, or... we were, but... we aren't, anymore. Friends I mean."
She just stares at me, confused, for a while.
"Why?"
I take a deep breath, hoping that Faith isn't gonna freak out on me for telling her this.
"Well... I... she... Faith, you have to believe me, I didn't intentionally do anything to make her do it. She just... kinda, did it. And I stopped it right after."
All right, just go ahead and say it.
"She... kinda... kissed me."
All of the sudden, her face is a blank slate and I have no idea what's going to happen next.
"She what?"
Uh-oh, I don't like the sound of that. Please... please don't tell me I've messed things up with Faith already. We only just got back together and I'm really happy and so is she.
"She, kissed me?"
There's a sudden bit of pressure on my ribs where Faith is touching me and it makes me twitch to get away from the pain.
"Ow..."
Faith looks down at her hand and pulls it away quickly like she just got burned or something.
"Sorry, sorry... I didn't mean to. I don't know why I did that. I just... she kissed you?"
Please don't hate me. She has this look on her face like she doesn't know how to feel about that. Please, please don't hate me.
"I... I didn't want her to. Really, you have to believe me Faith, I didn't. I went to her because she's my friend and... you and I weren't really talking and... she was actually making me feel better for a while. But then... she just kissed me. She said it's because she thought I was feeling the same thing she was. But I wasn't. I... I just wanted a friend to talk to and... she kissed me."
There's a few seconds where nothing happens and there's dead silence in the apartment. Then Faith stands up, pacing a little and running a hand through her hair when she takes a deep breath.
She has to believe me. She has to.
I stand up with her and try to explain.
"I didn't want her to kiss me Faith. I... I was just, really hurting and, she took advantage of me when I was feeling bad. I didn't want it to happen and I put a stop to it right away. It was only one kiss and that's it."
She doesn't say anything and I really don't like this bad feeling I'm getting.
"Faith, please say something. I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen. She just... she caught me off guard. And... and that's why we were fighting earlier. We're not friends anymore, and I don't want to be her friend if she's gonna be like that. You have to believe me."
Again she's silent, but she does stop pacing. She doesn't look at me though.
"Faith, say something... please."
Eventually, she looks at me with a bit of an apologetic look, taking a deep breath before saying anything.
"Sorry, DK. I know that you would never intentionally do anything like that with Candy. I just... it's just that when you said that Candy kissed you, it left me with this really powerful need to knock Candy on her pasty white ass. I didn't want you to get caught in that."
Oh... okay...
"I'm still sorry."
She forces herself to smile and steps into my personal space, wrapping me up in a hug gentle enough not to hurt the aches and pains all over me.
"I know. It's okay babe. It's not your fault."
My girlfriend pulls back enough to look me in the eyes, putting one hand on the side of my face to brush away my hair. I can't help but still feel a little guilty though.
"I shouldn't have let her kiss me."
Faith gently caresses my cheek with her thumb.
"Hey, you can't blame yourself for what she did. It's her fault, and no one else's."
Her body is a little stiff against mine and I look into her eyes to see that she's a little angry about this.
"Are you okay? I feel like a terrible person for letting it happen, so it's okay if you're angry with me about it."
She smiles at me for a second before leaning in and kissing me softly.
"The only person I'm mad at is Candy, for taking advantage of you like that."
That's it?
"You're sure?"
My slayer girlfriend nods at me.
"Yeah..."
"Okay..."
I really don't care if she does, but I should probably ask.
"You're not gonna hurt her are ya?"
She chuckles and smiles.
"No... I'd kinda like to... but I won't."
Oh...
"It'd be kinda petty and mean of me to do that. And I'd like to think I've tried to grown out of doing that kind of thing."
That's too bad. I'd like to see Candy get what's coming to her. But I know it's the right thing to do not to do that.
"Well, maybe you could just give her a couple extra patrols or something."
Faith smiles again, touching my face gently.
"My thoughts exactly..."
We kiss again, but when it's over, I feel my feet taken out from under me and Faith scoops me up into her arms, effectively sweeping me off my feet.
Whoa...
"Now, let's get you lying down somewhere you can heal up properly."
Hmm...
"Lying down eh?"
She starts carrying me towards the bedroom with a big grin on her face.
"Well, yeah... how else am I going to give you the 'attention' you need?"
All I do is laugh and try to relax in the arms of the woman I love.
I thought I couldn't be happier before... but I was wrong.