Jax.
My head is still spinning after the most incredible date tonight. If I had any doubts about putting my probation in jeopardy for this relationship, they have vanished. I know Gabby is the girl I was supposed to find. This broken rollercoaster I've been on, it's led me to her. She doesn't look at me like a criminal. She doesn't look at me like the loser I was becoming. She has made me want to be better in every way. One summer, that's all it will take is one summer of late night phone calls with her. I'm going to talk her into going to college. Maybe I will go back too.
When I open the door to my own house I notice the lights are back on. Obviously, everyone is home from their trip back to Illinois. I used to miss home, miss my friends, my job at the library, our home before it had become a crime scene. I'm not sure when it happened, when Luxberg started feeling like home. I'm sure Gabby has some part in that.
I toss the two backpacks from the date into my room and return to the door two down from my own.
"Court." I knock with my knuckles a few times on her door.
"Go away Jax."
There are whimpers on the other side of the door. Their trip home obviously was of no use, she's still depressed. I ignore her demand and open the door anyways, just as she would do to me.
The room is a disaster, clothes thrown everywhere, stacks of text books that need to be returned sit by the door, her cap and gown are draped over her desk. My focus lies on the blonde curled up in the fetal position on her bed. She's pale and thin, looking as if she hasn't eaten in days. He body slightly shakes with each sniffle.
I sit on the edge of her bed and set my hand gently on her trembling shoulder. "What has changed? You were doing so good. Did you go off the meds?"
"No." She uses her hand to wipe the snot that is falling from her nose.
"Gross Court, use a damn tissue. You always were a snot." I nudge her gently with my elbow. She chuckles a little through her tears and I take it as a small victory. "Come on, let's watch Mean Girls in my room. I'll even let you constantly quote it even though I hate when you talk over a movie."
I pick her up from her bed and toss her over my shoulder as she laughs. We walk back down the hall and I toss her onto my bed. Mean Girls is her favorite movie and I know she will laugh through it.
"You think I'm gross? Do I want to know how many girls have been in this bed?" She makes herself comfortable and pulls the covers up as I pull up our Netflix and the movie.
"Just Gabby." After I think about it for a moment I roll my eyes. "And Morgan, but nothing happened."
I grab one of the backpacks from the floor and open it, find the bag of partially eaten popcorn from my date. Honestly, I can't believe there is any left. But then I remember that Gabby had other ideas in mind other than our movie, bringing a smile to my face.
"Here." I toss the bag of popcorn to Courtney and then crawl into the bed with her.
We begin our movie and she happily begins munching. I knew this would change her mood. Hopefully she will open up a bit to me if I can get her talking. But before I can even begin asking her questions, she has some of her own.
"So where were you tonight? Not at Mickey's, your car wasn't there."
Gabby and I haven't told anyone we are dating. It was something we were holding back so that Dan didn't find out. Now he's one of the only ones who does know, besides Gabby's mom and sister.
I sigh and keep my eyes on the TV. "I had a date."
"Oh? Find another piece of ass for your little game? Going to break another girl's heart? Or just a quick hookup to wave in Gabby's face again?"
I hold up the remote and pause the movie, looking back to Courtney. Her facial expression has gone from a depressed girl to the bitter best friend of a girl scorned.
"My date was with Gabby."
Her jaw drops, allowing her mouth to hang open and display her partially eaten popcorn. I clamp my hand over her mouth. "Seriously, Court, you are grossing me the fuck out tonight."
"You went on a date with Gabby?! First off, how?! She's grounded! Second, since when are you dating anyone?!"
Another sigh exhales from my chest and I look to her again. "The night of the senior party." I give a slight shrug of my shoulders. "You were right, I'm in love with her. She's not just your best friend Court, she's mine too. It hurt being away from her. I didn't just break her heart, I broke my own. We've been dating since that night and we recently told Dan. Tonight he allowed us one date."
With this confession I thought Courtney would be happy for her best friend and brother, this is not the reaction I get. Her hand grabs my arm firmly, digging her nails into my skin to the point where it's painful. I can feel the skin breaking.
"Fuck Court, that hurts let go..."
"Promise me you won't hurt her again." Her voice is angry. I've never heard her so pissed.
"I-"
"So many people that she trusted have hurt her. So promise me you won't do it again. She needs someone she can trust."
"Christ I know! I won't!" I yank my arm from her grasp and rub it as her eyes go cold.
"No, you don't know." She shakes her head. "Be good to her Jax. She's going to need you."
"What the hell are you talking about? What is with you lately?"
"It's this fucking town," she mutters as her head shakes. "It's full of secrets. I know Gabby can't trust anyone. But we can't either."
Her tears return as she begins to shake. She hasn't been this bad since after her rape. The anger, the crying, the mood swings.
"What are you talking about? Who shouldn't we trust? Court what is going on with you? Maybe you should stop talking to Gabby and Lily about your assault, it's bringing up too much shit for you..."
"My rape is not the problem, Jimmy cannot hurt me again. And I'm telling you, we can't trust anyone. It's not safe here. Gabby is not safe here..."
"I won't let Tyler hurt her again..."
"Tyler didn't hurt her. Everyone else did." Her eyes roll and she runs her fingers through her long blonde hair.
My chest begins rising and falling in fast, my blood boiling at her words. Was she not there the day I carried Gabby into this house? Was she not the one who rubbed her back and got her calmed down so that she would sleep?
"Courtney don't you dare call Gabby a liar. He raped her. No one believes her but us, don't you turn your back on her like everyone else!"
"I'm the only one who hasn't!" She yells with rage. She crawls back out of the bed, leaves the room and her door slams.
What the fuck was that about?
<><><>
I make an attempt to get up early the next morning to talk to Courtney again but she leaves early for school. There is not a doubt in my mind something has triggered her mood swings; I know I'm going to have to talk to my parents about her at some point before this gets too out of hand again. But last night it seemed as though the town turning against Gabby was her problem. She is someone I have not brought up to my parents and wasn't planning on it. They love Gabby, but they love her as a neighbor and best friend of their daughter. They will not take it well when I tell them I'm dating another one of Courtney's friends. Her friends have been toys. Sleep with them a few times, discard them, they disappear from Court's life. I've gotten a earful enough times now that I know this discussion won't go well. But Gabby is different, so she's worth it.
My entire afternoon is spent working at Mickey's. Other than local drunks, such as Gabby's uncle Timmy, the bar is quiet during the day. It makes for a slow work day but I prefer this crowd actually. They don't order mixed drinks, they order cheap beer. They keep the discussion active, I hear all the town gossip. When they begin getting too loud, typically in the late afternoon, Mickey lets me kick them out and they make their way to Kane's for the remainder of their day. I enjoy knowing that I can get them good and sloshed before sending them over to bar boy for his annoyance. Timmy is the only one who stays here. Mickey said Timmy didn't even start coming here until word got out about Gabby's assault, he had always been part of Kane's crowd. His switch was understandable, she was his niece after all.
Once the clock hits two thirty in the afternoon I nod to Mickey to watch the bar. He knows this is when I prefer to take my break. This is when Gabby gets out of class and has a half hour to talk on the phone without anyone getting in the way of it. Like clockwork my phone buzzes in my pocket as I make my way out back where I can speak to her alone.
"How was school today Books?" I answer on the third ring. I lean my back against the brick wall and wait to hear her voice.
"It was okay. Courtney isn't back yet?"
My stomach twists. She didn't go to school today? Where the hell did she go?
"She wasn't there at all?"
"No. Is she back home? I hate being there without her. She's the only one who talks to me."
"She was home when I got home last night. Something isn't right with her Books. She was really upset and when I said something about her assault she said she wasn't afraid of Jimmy. She said that her and you and I couldn't trust anyone in town, that there were secrets. That it wasn't safe. I think she's losing it, she was talking crazy. I don't know what to do to help her anymore..."
"Awe, Jax, don't call her crazy..."
I wasn't thinking. People in town have called Gabby crazy for admitting that Tyler raped her. Suddenly I feel terrible for what I just said about my own sister, but I also can't think of another way to explain what happened last night.
"Gabby, I don't know what to call it, you didn't hear her rambling last night. Something isn't right with her. When I told her I was in love with you - she dug her nails so far into my arm that today I have bruises and scabs. She told me not to hurt you because you could only trust me. So I won't say crazy... but I don't know? Paranoid maybe? She should have been at school today. Was Lily there?"
"Yeah, she was there." The sound of a mailbox opening and closing let's me know that she's home safe. The breath I hold every day releases, knowing Tyler did not follow her home again. "I have a graduation party invite from her with no stamp, so I'm assuming she dropped it off. I'll try calling her tonight. Maybe I can get her to talk to me. There's only two days of school left anyway. It's not like she missed anything."
"I'm just worried." I sigh and slide my back against the wall so that I'm sitting on the ground of the dirty alleyway. "Do you think your parents will allow you to go to Court's party?"
"I am allowed to go to as many grad parties as I wish. They are a once in a lifetime school dad-approved activity. Even better, my parents practically go to every single one of them because mom gets invited. She's the school secretary so naturally every kid loves her and invited her, dad tags along. For the next month they will be attending parties every weekend."
I chuckle at how mischievously happy she sounded as she said that. We have found a small loophole to see each other.
"You sound as if you plan to abuse the power of their absence, Gabby Brooks..."
"Oh I intend to, Jackson Parker. I intend to do things to you this summer that make last night look like foreplay."
My pants tighten at the sound her voice speaking those words, my thoughts swirling back go last night. Her telling to make her scream... This is going to be the longest summer of my fucking life. So the prospect of getting a small amount of time with her seems pretty damn intriguing.
"Gabby," I chuckle, letting out a sigh and making an adjustment to my shorts. "You're killing me."
She laughs and then I hear the familiar sound of her front door opening and closing. "I have to go, Jax. I'm sure Felix is home. I love you. I will try and call Court tonight and I'll be on the porch at six to read."
"I love you too, Books. See you at six."
My screen goes blank and I hold my phone out, continuing my stare at it, wishing I had just a few more minutes with her.
"Dan Brooks know that his only Luxberg criminal is telling his pride and joy that he's in love with her?
I don't even need to look up to know who is out here with me. So I don't. "He does know actually." I tuck my phone back into my pocket. "I had a Dan-approved date with her last night and kissed her right in front of him when it ended. I'm thinking it went much better than your prom date. How did that end for you? Did you get that goodnight kiss you were hoping for?"
Suddenly Kane Porter isn't so cocky. I peer up to him as he runs his tongue along his upper teeth, tossing a bag of trash into the dumpster.
"Just remember thug, Dan knows a lot about that lake party, but he doesn't know what his middle child blabbed about during her drunken tirade against you."
My glare towards him is radiating heat. Dan knows that I toyed with Gabby to piss him off but he doesn't know the extent of what I did. I'm sure hearing that I slept with his daughter a few times then dumped her on purpose wouldn't exactly win me boyfriend points. Even if my intentions for dumping her were good.
"Don't worry. I'm not telling him that quite yet. I have a feeling he will hear it from someone else soon enough, she only announced it to half the town that night." He slams the lid to the dumpster with a smug face and turns to walk back into the back exit of Kane's.
My eyes roll as I stand up from my spot and brush the loose dirty from my jeans.
"Kane!" I call out to him. He turns, maintaining his hold on the door. "Gabby aside, I need to talk to you."
"About?" His eyebrow lifts.
"Is my sister working over there today?"
"No, it's a school day. She only works weekends and nights..." My facial expression must be that of complete worry because he lets go of the door handle and takes a step closer to me. "Why?"
"I need you to do me a favor..."
His brows furrow. "What the hell would I possibly do for you? I almost lost my bar because of you."
"First, I'm not the idiot serving his bar beer to minors at a high school party. Second..." I pause, hesitating to actually ask for his help. "I need to you to watch her and let me know if she's acting odd. She's had a shit life, and it's catching up to her..."
"Your family drama isn't my problem..."
"She thinks Gabby is in danger. She skipped school today and cried all night last night because she's convinced the town has secrets that will hurt her. She's paranoid, and she's never been like this. I'm not asking you as a bro I'm asking you as a worried older brother. I'm sure you would do the same for your brother..."
His eyes glare at me did even mentioning Tyler, but I need to pull anything I can to figure out what's up with Courtney. I can't watch her all the time and she is spiraling out of control.
"I'll let you know if it's anything affecting her work. She's been fine, but she also hasn't worked this week."
"Thank you," I nod to him.
He walks away leaving me alone in the alleyway. I'm not sure if I should have told him what I did. He had a change of heart a bit too quickly. Likely because he knows what his brother did to Gabby, Tyler is the one putting her in danger. But I'm running out of options to get Court the help she needs.