Today's agenda is a visit to a restaurant that overlooks the English coastline, one of my favourite places in town, and luckily Odette has never been before so after I serve her a late breakfast we will be taking a small walk uphill to get to the restaurant. After my emotional breakdown last night the lads did their very best to take my mind off of the upcoming decision I will be making and tried to focus my attention on the evening ahead, we watched a film that Niall had found online rated at four stars and ate our body weight in crisps, pizza and popcorn - the ultimate movie night compilation.
When I arrived home Odette was nowhere to be seen as I had expected, the lads calmed me down well and my heart wasn't as nervous as it was when she left, I'd received multiple messages from her telling me how things were going and that she was safe, so I decided to leave her to have some freedom away from my incessant and overbearing behaviours over the last few months. Odette's could-you-pick-us-up message came at about half two in the morning during my light nap, she gave me the time and place and when I arrived it was a sight to behold.
My baby. Drunk.
I should let her go out more often, it was absolutely hilarious and something I will, most definitely, never let her live down. Odette's balance was completely thrown and if I wasn't as encapsulated by her devilish behaviour I would have been more concerned; she looked like a balloon wobbling in the wind and her hangover this morning has taken a most vicious turn; I hear her groan beneath the bedsheets, my chipper attitude almost toxic to her as she resents my happiness. 'Harry, stop smiling. This isn't funny.'
"On the contrary, I'm finding it quite hilarious. I rarely ever see you pissed so this is a novelty. I'm telling our kids when they're older, that should teach them not to drink." I glance down at the picture I'd taken of her sleeping on my phone and vow to plaster it all over our children's rooms when they turn eighteen with the caption, 'drinking is bad.'
'You're not supposed to be mocking me you're supposed to be looking after me.' She argues, her eyes shielded from the morning light by the crook of her arm.
I put my phone away and glance back down to her, the sight unforgettable, "just because Dr Richards said you could drink, it doesn't mean that you should abuse the power. You should hang around with me more, I'm a sober and responsible adult, hopefully my pristine behaviour will rub off on you." I raise my eyebrows as she frowns at me, and somehow I'm unable to filter the next thing that gushes from my mouth, "among other things..."
'You're gross.' I smile, her eyes fully covered from my view and I know there's no point in replying, she won't pay attention after that, but it was totally worth it.
Grease spits from the frying pan in the kitchen as I make my way through our apartment and back to my previous job, you can't go wrong with a full English breakfast after a hangover, and this will be Odette's first so I'm definitely going with tradition. I use a spatula to flip our eggs and strategically turn them back onto the grill, it's just the right amount of crunch, I'm sure she will love it. After laying out all of the condiments, as well as our cutlery, onto a tray for both my wife and I, I precede in the direction of our bedroom, knowing that Odette won't be moving anytime soon.
"Here you go." I place her tray on her lap as she attempts to sit up in the best and most comfortable way possible, she smiles absentmindedly at the small yellow rose that I placed in a size appropriate vase.
'What is it?' She asks, staring down at my culinary masterpiece.
"It's a full English breakfast, made by your one true love."
'It looks gross Harry.'
"Hey don't knock it until you try it, now eat up."
I smile over to my wife and watch the space where her hands have just occupied, thinking forward to how different everything is going to be, "you won't be needing to sign soon." I state in regards to her signing, with the receivers being turned on in a few weeks Odette will be able to hear in close proximity and her use for signing will slowly become non-existent. I notice the dip between her eyebrows and I can tell that she is arguing with herself, "what's wrong?"
'Harry, you do realise that this surgery won't cure me.'
I'm stunned at her words and somewhat baffled at her opinion, "what do you mean?"
'Harry, these implants will help me hear, but when you take them out I'll be the same person I am now. I'll never stop signing.' I shake my head at her words, of course she will, otherwise wouldn't everything that she's been through have been for nothing?
"You'll have to stop at some point Odette." My voice comes out as authoritative, however pointless that may be.
She sighs, her knife and fork clanking loudly against her plate as she glances at me exasperatedly, 'no Harry, you're not listening to what I'm saying. I won't ever stop, yes I'll be speaking more and I'll use my voice the best I can, but just because I have had this surgery it doesn't mean that everything is fixed. I will always be deaf, we can't change that, we can only find ways to help deal with it.'
"Odette you'll always have your receivers switched on, so you won't need to sign." I argue back, there is no reason she will need to sign, this surgery has been a success so far, why is she fighting it?
'I have to take my receivers off when I'm in the shower, or asleep, or if I go swimming. I won't always have them on, especially at the beginning. Harry signing has been my life for over ten years, I'm not just going to disregard it, it's my language, the same one that I taught you, and without it we wouldn't be here.' She stands abruptly and takes her tray with her, I'm surprised for multiple reasons; one being that she has stormed off and I have no real reason as to why, and the second reason is that she managed to storm out without falling into anything. Well done Odette, don't think I could have done that. I ignore my subconscious' appraisal and approach the more bigger concern of her unhappiness, what was all of that about?
I hate knowing that Odette is upset with me, I've spent the entire year trying to make her the happiest she could possibly be and - despite a few exasperating occasions - I think that I have done quite a good job, so the thought of her being anything less than elated really irks me. Just leave her Harry, let her cool off for a bit and try again later, my subconscious advises, his jokes and trickeries done for the day as he feels the weight of my panicked heart.
I think back to our minor disagreement and try to see things from Odette's perspective; to spend such a long time depending on something that saved your life, only to discard it when it's convenient - that doesn't sound like Odette. Ever since learning of her disability she's done the most that she can to be welcomed into a new society, one that I couldn't possibly understand and yet here I am telling her to drop it all - like she said, this surgery hasn't cured her, it's just another way of dealing with the bigger picture, just like signing was at one point. My mind drifts to the first time we met, her fingers moving slowly but intricately as she spoke to me, using easy mimes to help me understand her, I chuckle at what I must have looked like to her, just some random stranger at the door trying to spend more time with her.
My apprehensive eyes watch her carefully as she strolls back into the room, tray-less, and begins to get herself ready, her hangover slightly mended by a minute morsel. 'We're going out.' I finalise and she glances at my hand movements stunned, 'come on, we haven't got all day.' It's my turn to walk out on her as I hurry to get my shit together, I'll have to decide where we're going when we're in the car, this spontaneous decision seems to have backfired on me slightly.
"Where?" She squeaks, her voice faint but loud enough for me to hear - she most likely was trying to sign to me before but had no success.
"Out." That's it. That's all I say. I have no idea.
'You don't know do you?'
"Of course I do. It's a surprise." Odette rolls her heavenly eyes but abides by my command nevertheless, whether she's angry with me or not she always loves spending time just the two of us. The perfect idea strolls casually into my brain at the precise moment that I need it to, along the Devonshire coastline high up on the shore sits an idyllic restaurants that overlooks the ocean, it's always a place I've dreamed of taking Odette but never thought of or had the opportunity to, and now seems like the perfect chance, "wear your coat." I tell her as she walks out of our room, huffing and having to turn around because she forgot the one piece of clothing I needed her to wear, I zip my coat up myself waiting in it's warm embrace for my reluctant and still unhappy bride.
Out she walks clad in a warm and cosy khaki coloured coat, her boots ready for the weather and her cold fingers struggling to zip herself up. "I'll do that, here." I take over immediately and feel her gaze at our proximity, she's so close I could just ravish her in kisses, although I don't think now would be the best of times considering her lack of humour; however when I glance up and stare into those topaz eyes I can detect nothing but lust, sorry my dear but we'll have to put that on hold for now. "Come on poppet." My hand drags her out of the door and down to the car in a hurry, trying to escape the bitter cold that surrounds us.
'Harry where are we going?'
"I'm not telling you, it would ruin the surprise." She huffs once again at my secrecy and childish nature, and it makes me realise that this is one of the very few occurrences that Odette is genuinely exasperated with me, perhaps I should have just left her to her own company and not have aggravated her further.
The ride to the coastline is silent and not the usual chatter that I'm used to, it is hostile and unpleasant - two emotions that I don't take much notice of unless Odette is involved and I'm not too happy that I'm the cause of it either, I'll have to apologise; I just worry more than usual now - I don't know why but somehow I thought that everything would be normal after this surgery, not realising that that's far from the truth. I pull up in the parking lot of the restaurant, getting out and rushing over to Odette's side to be the chivalrous gentleman she fell in love with, only to be met with her already halfway out and an upset look on her face, my heart thumps and I mentally scorn myself, this is all my doing, why don't I just keep my mouth shut and everyone will be happy. 'Thank you.' Her small smile is kind but not genuine as it doesn't reach her eyes like it usually does, 'where are we?'
"I've been meaning to bring you here for ages but I've never had the chance until now."
'You decided to bring me somewhere beautiful when I'm mad at you?' She glances at me sceptically, seeing through my not-so-fool-proof plan.
"I'm offended you would think that." I huff, yet her eyebrows raise in expectation, my lie and fake offence melting before her scolding eyes, "fine I did. But in my defence, I can take you anywhere I like, regardless of if you're mad at me. If it so happens to make you not-so-mad at me then that's just a bonus."
Odette's eyes roll at my childish reasoning and get out of the parked car in pursuit of the restaurant, her stomach no doubt aching for food after smelling the heavenly aroma of pancakes that floods through the air and into the car.
The restaurant sits on the Devonshire coastline overlooking the vast array of seawater, the ocean salts filling the air, along with the sun beaming down on the warm water - it reminds me of a holiday I once had down here with my family, the smell causing nostalgia to seep through my veins and into my memory. 'I love it.' She leaves me with an approving smile and I take it as a small victory, her heart thawing second by second. 'I smell pancakes.'
"I will buy you all the pancakes in the world if it will make you happy."
'With maple syrup?' The smirk she offers me suggests that I almost have her back, my beautiful neighbour is happy once again.
"Of course."
'Okay, I'm not mad at you anymore.' I chuckle at her fickle nature and how the thought of food can change her opinion within seconds.
Her embrace is tight and she rests her chin on my chest, her blue beauties staring up at me as I wrap around her, 'I don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry, I know signing is who you are, and I don't want to change that.'
'Harry you need to realise that this surgery won't cure me. When the external pieces are taken away I'll be the same as I am now. I can't ever be 'fixed', it's important to me that you understand that.' I nod in agreement. And I do understand, I wouldn't want her any other way. I fell in love with Odette despite her not being able to hear me; I fell in love with her laugh, and her smile, and her spirit, and most importantly her personality. Hearing or no hearing, she is my quiet little French girl that lived across the hall, the same girl who opened up to me, and let me into her life. I wouldn't want her any other way.
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- Pianogirl56