Dedicated to mariaola2000, who sent me the longest, funniest, most motivational message I have ever read. It honestly cracked me up and encouraged me to keep going. I hope this lives up to your expectations!
Xx Divine Romance
~~~~~
When Suzanna finally managed to leave the village home, Samuel was waiting for her outside. Suzanna was surprised but pleased.
"What did you think?" Suzanna asked as soon as she had reached him.
"You told the story perfectly. I am sure the children will remain inspired for a long time," Samuel complemented. Suzanna was pleased by his praise.
"My mother used to tell me that story every night. I was young, but I always remembered it. I am glad to have shared it with those children."
Her expression was downcast, she knew it. Samuel reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. They exchanged a brief smile.
"Your mother would be proud of you. We were all young, but I still remember some of the moments when I saw her. She was a very kindly, caring person - much like you are. You carry on her legacy well," Samuel said, his expression serious.
"Do you think so?"
"I know so. The kingdom is lucky to have you as our Princess - to have your whole family, in fact. I could not fault any of you."
"Thank you, Samuel. I could say the same about you," Suzanna answered.
"We are a good pair," Samuel jested. Suzanna smiled, but could not help thinking yes, yes they were. They were a very good pair indeed.
"I met Adeline today," Suzanna eventually said.
"I saw she was sitting and listening to the story. Did you talk to her?" Samuel asked. They began walking back to the castle, close, but not too close to raise comments. Suzanna wanted more than anything to be able to hold his arm or feel his embrace. But such things were risky.
"I did talk to her. She was fairly reserved."
"We found her to be the same. It is no surprise, after everything she has been through. Time will heal. Did she say much to you?"
"She only said that she does not want Caden to die for his crimes," Suzanna explained. Samuel hummed thoughtfully.
"I can understand. Once someone is your family, the bond is not easily broken - even when they hurt you."
"You are speaking of your parents?" Suzanna guessed. Samuel raised his eyebrows and gave an appreciative expression.
"Yes, despite the way they treated my sister and myself, I would not want harm to come to them. I am surprised you remember what I told you."
"I remember everything you tell me," Suzanna said honestly, for some reason feeling a blush creep to her cheeks. Samuel stopped walking and turned to give her his full attention. Suzanna's heart leapt at the tender expression on his face. The streets were quiet and no one was near them - convenient and delightful.
"That is just one of the things I love about you," he answered gently.
Just one? Suzanna wanted to ask, but she held her tongue for fear of ruining the precious moment.
"You listen - really listen - to people," Samuel continued.
"When I am not speaking too much," Suzanna joked, mostly because her heart was racing and she was sure she was about to lose her breath.
"You do not speak too much and that is a horrible thing for people to say. Suzanna, there is nothing wrong with you at all," Samuel whispered. With that, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead, much in the same way he had twice before. Suzanna treasured the moment with eyes closed and heart yearning.
"Samuel," Suzanna whispered. She opened her eyes and stared up at him. How her heart ached and ached to be near him, to be with him. Her eyes suddenly burned with random tears.
"What is amiss?" he asked softly. Suzanna shook her head and leaned in to give him an embrace. Samuel responded immediately, holding her gently and pecking her hair once.
There was an unspoken yet obvious affection between them, one which Suzanna was terrified and yet desperate to break open. How could they continue going the way they had been? Suzanna held onto his shoulders with all her strength, unable to let go.
"Suzanna, what is wrong?" Samuel asked once again. Suzanna pulled away and stared at him once more.
"I wish you were not so perfect," Suzanna admitted. Samuel reached for her hand and squeezed it tightly, humour lit in his eyes.
"What do you mean? I am not perfect."
"You are, Samuel. You are everything anyone could ever want and more -"
"Suzanna," Samuel tried to say.
"I wish-"
"Suzanna," he said once again. Suzanna clamped her mouth shut and tried to look brave, when inside her heart was in turmoil. "I know," Samuel whispered.
He leaned forward, his eyes understanding and loving. He was a breath away, but he did not close the distance. Of course he did not - he would always make sure she was happy and willing. It was so very like him to let her make the final decision. Suzanna's heart raced in a frenzy. Her mind told her no, but her heart cried yes.
Suzanna could not ignore it.
She closed the distance.
Samuel kissed her tenderly - perfectly. Suzanna was in a euphoric bliss. She leaned closer and wanted to sigh as Samuel slipped his hand around her back.
He pulled away. It had only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. One perfect, magical lifetime.
At last! Suzanna wanted to cry out. At last they had truly showed their care for each other.
Samuel was smiling back, his hand still holding hers. Suzanna let the blissful emotions waft through her. She had kissed Samuel!
She had kissed him.
She had... kissed him.
Oh no.
Shame the weight of a mountain dropped down on her shoulders. She had kissed Samuel when she was betrothed to another. Suzanna gasped and pulled away from him, covering her mouth with her hand.
"Suzanna, what is wrong?" Samuel asked, immediately trying to move closer to her. Again, Suzanna took a few steps back. Samuel's eyes were confused and his expression hurt.
"What have I done?" Suzanna whispered, sure Samuel could not have caught the words.
"What do you mean?" Samuel asked. "Suzanna, talk to me."
"I should not have done that," Suzanna said, though the words broke her heart. Samuel took a step back, as if her words had caused a physical impact.
Oh Samuel, please do not stare at me like that. All Suzanna wanted to do was draw close and comfort him.
"Well I am sorry you feel that way," Samuel said bitterly. He began walking quickly back to the castle. Suzanna's heart broke with each step.
"Wait!" she cried. She ran after him and pulled on his arm. He pulled away, angry and hurt. Suzanna felt terrible.
"Samuel, do not go. I did not mean to hurt you. Stop! I need you in my life," Suzanna said hopelessly.
"You need to make your choice," Samuel said gruffly. "Me or the Duke, who is it you truly want to be with?"
"Samuel, surely you know the answer. But either way it does not change the fact that I am betrothed to wed another."
"The betrothal will be broken - you and I both know that!" he cried.
"It still does not change the fact that I am betrothed at this very moment. It was wrong of me."
"You are far too focused on protocol and order. I wish you would for once listen to your heart," Samuel said. His eyes were no longer angry, now they were simply sad. Suzanna felt her eyes tear up. "You are betrothed to a fraud - the betrothal is practically illegitimate. Tristan and your father will hardly approve the marriage when Caden is exposed."
"Don't you see, Samuel? Regardless of the brother situation, I am intended for the Duke of Adryrwen," Suzanna whispered. "If we find Wilson alive..."
"Is that really what you want?" Samuel asked, disappointment shaking his voice.
"I..."
"Tell me, Suzanna. Make your choice. What do you really want?" Samuel urged.
"You know the answer," she eventually murmured, a tear finally escaping her eye. Samuel reached up and wiped the tear away, caressing her cheek.
"Tell me. All you have to do is tell me. We can figure this out."
One breath in. One breath out.
"I can't."
Duty to her father, to her kingdom, echoed in her mind. How could she choose Samuel when the kingdom relied on her to form an alliance? When her father expected her to marry someone with a title? How could she agree to be with Samuel when she could not promise they could one day wed?
"Suzanna, surely you know - you must know - how I feel about you. Please. Please do not choose protocol over me," Samuel begged. His own eyes were watery, filled with unshed tears. Each word broke her heart once more. Suzanna could not stop her tears, and Samuel cupped her head in his hands. He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. "Suzanna, I am in love with you." Suzanna wanted to shout for joy and grieve all at once. "I have been for a long time and I cannot bear to watch you wed another."
"Samuel-"
"I love you, Suzanna. I love you." He said the words with determination, his eyes declaring truth and importance. His expression was serious, begging her to listen and understand. "And I think you know what you want to say, so why do you not say it?"
Yes. Yes, she wanted to say it. She wanted, desperately, to declare her love for him.
"My father-"
"If he supported Tristan and Rose, would he not support his daughter too?"
Yes, she supposed he would. Hadn't he nearly hinted at the fact before? A spark of hope lit in her heart. Maybe her father would approve - maybe he would break the betrothal now and let them be together. He wanted her to be happy - of course he did.
"But Caden-"
"On technicality, you are not truly betrothed," Samuel interrupted.
"Wilson?" Suzanna finished futilely.
"Could you really marry him now, after everything we have experienced together?" Samuel was beginning to look amused.
No. She could not. Even if she desperately, fully wanted to follow expectation and marry the Duke of Adryrwen, Suzanna knew she would be miserable. Her heart belonged to another. It would be wrong to her and wrong to the Duke if she married him while in love with another.
"I ask you, Princess, what do you really want? Whatever final decision you make, I will respect it," Samuel murmured. He stroked her cheeks with his thumbs, smiling at her once again, though Suzanna could see he was still anxious.
"I want to be with you," she admitted.
All the pressure she had been feeling immediately lifted away. Everything would be alright, she was sure of it. How could anything go wrong when they were finally together?
"I want to be with you, too," Samuel answered, before leaning in once more and kissing her briefly.
"I do love you, Samuel," Suzanna whispered. "I do, and I am sorry it took me such a long time to realise how wonderful you are."
Samuel was glowing. Suzanna had never seen him smile so wide before. His eyes, if possible, were shining even brighter than they ever had before. He had never been so handsome.
"You look surprisingly happy," Suzanna giggled.
"I suspected and hoped it was true, but to hear you say it is even better. No hopes could have prepared me for this," Samuel responded. He gave her a tight squeeze before releasing her and holding out his arm. Suzanna took it, allowing him to continue escorting her back to the castle.
"How long?" Suzanna asked.
"How long, what?"
"How long have you liked me?" The curiosity was burning deeply inside of her - not to mention the frustration that she had not considered him earlier.
"A while," Samuel admitted. Suzanna squinted. Could it be true? His cheeks were turning pink.
"Samuel, are you blushing?" Suzanna asked, trying to swallow back laughter. Samuel gave her a fake pout.
"It is not funny."
"I did not say it was," Suzanna said innocently.
"You are trying to hide a smile."
"I am not!"
"You are, I know that expression," Samuel huffed, though Suzanna could tell he was secretly enjoying the conversation.
"I cannot help it," Suzanna tried to say, but it came out in an odd, shaky voice. Samuel raised an eyebrow.
"Go on, then. Let it out," Samuel sighed. The burst of laughter came out in a rush. Samuel waited patiently while Suzanna had her good laugh. "Do you feel better now?" Samuel asked when she had finally quieted.
"Yes," Suzanna answered, studying his expression. "You are not actually irritated, are you?" Samuel gave her a firm look, plummeting her emotions. "I am sorry, I did not mean t-"
His frown faded into a huge smile. "Tricked you," he said, pulling her against his side. Samuel chuckled and tickled her side. "I could not be irritated now that I am with you."
The words slightly melted her.
When they were near the castle, Suzanna finally spoke again. "What happens now?"
"We find Wilson and expose Caden."
"And break my betrothal?"
"Yes," Samuel answered, pulling her one step closer.
"However... until then, it would be best not to raise any speculation," Suzanna sighed. "If news spreads to Caden that I am... affectionate with another, he may become enraged. I do not want him to hurt anyone close to me."
"I understand. I am not happy about having to watch our every move, but I understand nonetheless," Samuel answered. Suzanna stopped walking before they became too close to the castle.
"I wish it were not so," she said.
"So do I." He reached up and caressed her cheek once more. His eyes shone the love he felt for her. Suzanna knew she would never doubt his affection, so long as he kept looking at her that way. Suzanna leaned into his hand and gave a tender smile. "I will find Wilson as soon as I can. I plan to ask Tristan for leave again. I will try to make him understand without revealing too much."
"What if Caden comes back before then?" A flurry of anxiety rose up in her stomach.
Samuel shook his head. "I do not want you to be anxious."
"It can hardly be helped."
"If he comes back while I am gone there is nothing we can do. Do as he says unless it endangers your life," Samuel answered.
"And if it does?" Suzanna's anxiety was sky-high.
"Tell someone. Tell your family. Find protection." Suzanna opened her mouth to protest. "Listen to me, Suzanna. I am not the only one who could not bear to lose you. Your family needs you, too. I know you are trying to protect everyone and protect Tristan, but putting yourself in danger for them is not the answer. Promise me you will find help if Caden tries something dangerous," Samuel said. "Promise me." His eyes were begging, tugging on the strings of her heart.
"I promise."
"Good," Samuel said, pecking her on her cheek quickly. "This is only if things do not go to plan. Hopefully Wilson will be discovered before Caden can return."
"When will you leave?" Suzanna asked, already miserable at the thought of Samuel being gone.
"As soon as I can. I will find you before I go, though."
"Do you promise?" Suzanna asked, a hint of a smile resting on her face. Samuel smiled.
"I promise."
They shared one last lingering embrace before they separated and went their own ways. Suzanna could barely hide the skip in her steps. How wonderful life was, even with the threat of Caden around her. She had Samuel and he loved her. Suzanna smiled the entire way back to her chambers.