The speed with which Isaiah left the room, and hospital all together shocked me.
He was gone faster than I could say 'wait'. I'm not entirely sure if that's a good thing or not, but either way Isaiah is gone, and I'm now alone with Dyllan. His eyes question everything that he just walked in on, but he's too polite to ask. Then, his eyes shift and I know that the conversation that is about to take place is either going to break my heart worse, or...actually, I don't see another viable option.
I don't know what to say and I don't know what to do. Things between Dyllan and I used to be so easy and carefree, I never even thought of being insecure. Now? Now, I can't even look him in the eyes without thinking that I'll never be good enough for someone like him again.
"Kay..." Dyllan starts, walking closer to me and shutting the door firmly behind him. "Kay, I miss you."
"Where's Memaw?" I blurt out, wanting this conversation to never happen more than I've ever wanted anything. His green eyes immediately dull at my obvious change of subject.
"She's back at your place." He says, sitting in the chair that Isaiah just vacated on my right. The contrast between the two in the chair is astronomical. While Isaiah was large and brooding, Dyllan is strong and powerful and caring. Isaiah with his deep brown eyes and hair, and Dyllan with his green eyes and brown hair just a shade lighter than Isaiah's- thanks to spending all his time out in the sun.
"Listen, I'm sorry. I never meant to scare you away. I promise. The way I acted that day...I think about it every day. I never should have let you walk out of my life that easily. You were my whole world, and when you left...I stopped seeing the good in people, in the world...in me. I wish I could say that I tried to stay strong for you, but... I didn't. I didn't even try. When you left..." He takes a deep breath and swallows hard, looking at the ground. "I didn't just lose you that day, Kristen. I lost my whole world. I lost my future. I lost...I lost my baby girl. Both of them." When he looks up, I see in his watery eyes just how much damage I had caused. I could see everything, his whole life falling apart and the world he knew crumbling around him. "You took everything when you took yourself away from me."
"Dyll-" I start, but he cuts me off with a wave of his hand.
"No. Please. This is my chance to apologize." He says with a hard edge to his voice. "When you left me, you didn't just take away your dreams, and your life, and your future. Okay? You took away mine, too. Kristen, we were only twenty-two at the time. We had our whole lives ahead of us. There was nothing in our way to stop us from achieving everything we wanted. And every time I close my eyes, from that day forward...do you know what I see?" He looks at me questioningly, looking deep into my eyes. "I see us. I see our wedding day, and you walking down the isle with your daddy holding you up like the princess you are. I see Chelle holding our baby behind you, and smiling as she watches us kiss. I see our daughter running and laughing in the house that we bought together. I see us sitting on our back porch, watching the sun go down." Tears are making a steady path down both of our cheeks as he leans closer to me with each scenario, his voice growing louder. "I see me asking you to renew our vows after fifty years. I see us going on date nights every Friday night. I see me teaching our daughter how to shoot a gun, and hunt deer. I see you teaching her to throw a softball, and how to do a toe-touch. I see you teaching her how to put on make up. I see me sitting at the kitchen table, cleaning my gun as her first boyfriend comes to pick her up for a date. I see me walking her down the isle. But most of all...most of all, I see us, Kristen. Us. Together. Going through all of this together."
"Stop!" I sob, throwing my hands up to cover my face and trying to breathe through the pain. "Stop! Okay? Stop. Please. I know it's my fault that you don't get any of this. That you don't get to be the over protective southern dad. That you don't get to live in the big house with a family of your own. That you don't get a wife to love, and a child to hug at night. Okay? I get it. But do you know what I see when I go to bed? Do you? I get to relive that accident every night. I get to relive killing my own baby every night. I get to relive seeing you hate me and blame me every night. At least you don't have that on your shoulders. You don't have to live with the fact that you killed your own child!" I scream, and lean forward as I pull my knees up to hug them as I sob.
"Kristen..." Dyllan whispers as he stands up, and pushes the bars around my bed down to crawl up beside me and pull me into his chest. My hands immediately go around him, and I lay my head down on his chest. Tears are soaking through his tshirt, but I don't care. My hands claw his back, and I pull myself as close to him as possible. After we both calm down a bit, he pulls back and gently grasps my chin to pull it up so he can look in my eyes. "I don't blame you. I never did. And I never stopped loving you, okay? I still am so madly, and deeply in love with you that it hurts. All the time. Austin and Chelle, hell, even Allie all have tried to set me up. But none of those girls ever even compared to you, Kay. Never. It was always you. It's always been you. And it'll always be you." He pulls my chin up further, and leans forward to kiss me. The electricity that shoots through my body is ridiculous. I don't know how I ever thought that anybody could compare to this. His mouth on mine has always molded perfectly, our tongues moving at the same rhythm, and his hands always roaming and showing his possessive nature.
When he pulls back, we're both gasping for air, and clinging to each other for dear life. His eyes shine with a spark that I haven't seen since before the crash, and I smile broadly. I've missed that look. I can feel his love with just this one look, and it roams all over me, cradling me, and caressing me in all my deeply hidden spots. It warms my heart.
"I'm sorry, Dyllan. For everything. For the...crash, for leaving, for....everything. I'm so, so sorry." He silences me with a finger on my lips.
"Don't apologize, baby. I completely understand why you left, and why you broke my heart. I just wish you hadn't. Because then I could've done this a lot sooner." He pulls my mouth back to his, and kisses me with a ferocity that starts a fire rivaling the heat of lava.
"I've missed you so much, Dyllan." I whisper against his lips, my eyes still closed.
"I've missed you too, Kristen. So much." He whispers, and I can hear his pain in his voice, but also the happiness of having me in his arms again.
A clearing of the throat is the only thing that keeps us from kissing again. We both look to the door where an older doctor with light gray hair stands with a clipboard in his hands. In his eyes you can see his confusion, and after a moment I realize why. Isaiah probably didn't leave my bedside the whole time I was here. Which reminds me...
"How long have I been here?" I ask to neither of them in particular.
"About eight hours." The doctor states, deciding it's safe to walk in. He comes over beside us, and I sit up- still safely tucked away against Dyllan's side. "Well, I take it you feel better then?"
"Much." I reply, blushing heavily. Dyllan chuckles against my head. I hit him lightly on his thigh.
The doctor laughs, and holds out his hand. "I'm Scott Hamilton Jr. I'm the ER doctor that's been tending to you." Dyllan throws his hand out to shake his hand first and I hold back a smile. Ever the gentleman, and always protecting me. After a slight nod from Dyllan, I reach forward to shake his hand.
"Nice to meet you doc." I say with a smile.
"And you as well, although I wish it were on better terms." A concerned look enters his eyes. "I hear this isn't your first time you've been in the hospital for extremely low blood sugar?" Dyllan frowns as I confirm his question. "Hmm...are you on any medicine for hypoglycemia?" I nod and list the names of my prescriptions. Dyllan's frown deepens. "That's a hefty amount of medications. Have you always been on all of them?"
"No, she hasn't." Dyllan growls, his hands tightening around my waist.
"Hmm, do you have a primary physician that you see once every six months?" The doctor asks, flipping some pages on his clipboard.
"Doctor Grace, up town." He nods.
"Yes...well, I'm afraid that her license has been revoked. For this exact reason, actually. She's been putting people on medications that counteract the medicines that they are already taking." He frowns, looking back down the list of medicines that I take. "And it seems like all of these counter act each other...except for this one here," He points. "That gives you more insulin- the stuff that digests, so to speak, your glucose. But, you being hypoglycemic means that you already have too much insulin, and not enough glucose for your body to digest, therefore...low blood sugar. And I'm sure you already know all of this. But I needed to explain that again to reinforce why it's so important that she's proscribed more insulin for you, instead of something that could boost your glucose and help decrease the amount of insulin in your blood stream." He takes a deep breath. "Point being, you could eat all day long- healthy foods, mind you- and you would still have an extremely low level of glucose in you."
Taking a deep breath, I let that sink in. My doctor was proscribing me medicine to kill me...she was trying to kill me. I could've died.
Dyllan growls beside me. "Are you telling me that her doctor was trying to kill her?"
We'd always had a similar track of thought.
The doctor nods, "Essentially...yes."
Man, the world really hates me, doesn't it?
The doctor looks at Dyllan, apparently assuming that he was the one that would be taking care of me. "Don't let her take her medicine anymore. Find her a new doctor. Research the perscriptions." He then looks back at me. "No work until next week. Try and take it easy. A strict fruit, vegetable, water, and lean meat diet until you follow up with a new physician. I'll go get the nurse to get your release papers started."
"Thanks, doc." Dyllan says, holding his hand back out for the doctor to shake. He does.
"Not a problem, man. Take care of your woman." He says, not accusingly, but trusting him to do so.
"I'm not letting her get out of my hands again, man. Not even a slight chance." He promises, and only I catch the double meaning.
Hmm. I guess I've got two men on my hands now. This is weird.
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Author's Note:
Man. What just happened?!
Haha, I hope y'all like this. Sorry I didn't post last night, some stuff happened, but the good news is I didn't go to work! yay! lol
Who do y'all think she'll end up with?? Are you #TeamDyllan or #TeamIsaiah ??
And also... 30,000 reads?! Wtf is this madness you guysss?? I wasn't even expecting 300 reads!! I cannot thank y'all enough!! Like, seriouslyyyyy, I'm over here sitting, staring at my computer going "whhaaaaaaaatttttttt." ^.^ I can't get over how awesome y'all are!!!!
Love y'all!
FayAnne(: <3