"I etch my own face upon my wicked flesh. I am my own devasting god."
***
I didn't think anyone would forgive me. No, there were so many things that I did that didn't deserve forgiveness. But here I am, lying next to Sebastian, the one that has managed to do it. He held me like I was about to leave and somehow it made me feel better.
He was topless as I wrapped my arm around his warm chest. "You know, I thought vampires didn't have a temperature," I whispered in his ear as he had his eyes closed. He was trying to sleep, but I wanted to talk.
I felt him laugh as he opened his eyes. "Now you ask after months?" he wondered. "When I'm half-asleep?"
"Yes."
Despite how warm the castle is, I still felt cold. I wore leggings and a grey sweater while I had on socks the same color. My hair was tied up in a bun but a few strands escaped. Sebastian turned his body as he was now inches away from me, staring at me. "I always had a temperature. For once, I had no idea why."
"Hmm, that's interesting." I whispered.
"Indeed."
I bit my lip as I tried to think of something else to say so I don't have to fall asleep. I know was waiting for me if I did. It's a good thing that vampires don't have to sleep because otherwise, I would go insane.
"What is it, Elora?" he asked. "What are you thinking about?"
"Everything."
He grazed a finger down my cheek, marveling my soft skin. I closed my eyes at his gentle touch. "Tell me, then." he whispered.
My eyes opened. "I'm thinking that it's a miracle that I'm still alive. I have been so close to death so many times, I really thought I wouldn't survive this time." I confessed.
"And yet you did, darling. You survived," he said. "Many would call you a Queen after everything you endured."
"But I won't ever be. No one will trust me ever again." I said.
"They will, eventually. We've got an eternity to wait."
"I'm not that patient."
Sebastian laughed. "Oh, we all knew that."
I shook my head. "Do you think they will? Ellie and the others?" I asked. I desperately wanted to talk to them, reason with them that I am all better now and that I apologize for everything that I did to them.
"I know my sister. She'll forget all about it a few weeks," he admitted. "And the others, I'm not so sure about. They have their own thoughts. But they love you, I love you, it's their shame if they don't."
My lips turned into a smile once more. "So, what is this about a Halloween party?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Oh yes, I did mention that," he said as if he forgot it. "It's in a week and it's supposed to be the holiest night of the year."
"How so?"
"Lots of things. I'll tell you when I'm not half-asleep and dreaming of you with no clothes on. I'm afraid it will make Halloween Eve less holy." I flushed. "Good night, darling. Get some sleep." He pecked me on the forehead before closing his eyes again.
"I'm going to visit Ellie and others tomorrow," I said. "Hopefully this holiday they will want to have forgiveness."
"Good. Use that against them. They will want to listen."
"Go dream of me, you dick." I said, laughing.
Sebastian murmured something I couldn't understand before turning around and going to sleep. Despite me not wanting to close my eyes, the tiredness washed over me until I saw blackness.
***
Today is the day. Today is where they will forgive me, whether they like it or not. I want them to know I didn't mean any of what I said or did. Hopefully, all goes to plan and they wrap their arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I desperately wanted Ellie's tight embrace. I missed it, in fact.
As I walked the hallway, I stopped in front of her door. I heard her in there but I had a hard time trying to knock on the door. I had no idea what was stopping me. Maybe my guilty conscience. But I eventually did, knocking two times on her door, not knowing what to say.
She opened it and I saw that her violet eyes were a mixture of anger and reluctance. "Hello, Ellie." I said.
"What do you want?" she hissed as she still held her door open.
"I came here to apologize."
"Don't bother, Elora."
She was about to close the door on me when I stopped her. "All Hallows Eve is coming up, I deserve at least a minute of your time, don't you think?"
Ellie shot me a glare. "That's not fair."
"Is it? Let me in."
And she did. Not before she growled and walked to her bed and sat on it. I stood in the middle of her room with my arms crossed. "Okay, speak." she demanded.
"I shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry for everything, you don't know much. You didn't deserve any of it."
"Then why did you? Why did you break my neck when all I wanted was to help you? Do you really think that way towards me?"
"Not at all!" I said. "You are my best friend and one of the strongest girls I know. I wasn't myself, Ellie."
She was silent for a moment before speaking. "It's going to take a long time before I fully forgive you, you know that?"
"I do. And I'm willing to wait." I said. "You have been there for me through everything and I just wanted to say that I love you. You are more than a friend, but a sister to me and I will forever be sorry for what I did."
A smile rose on her mouth, then. "I never had a sister before."
I tilted my head. "You're forgetting Grace."
"She's my sister too. Both of you."
I sat down next to her on the bed and wrapped my arms around her. She accepted it in a second. "Thank you for forgiving me, I'm so relieved. You don't know how much."
We pulled apart as Ellie said, "So, what are you wearing to All Hallows Eve?"
Oh great.
***