"Someday, father, I'm going to be a pilot just like you!" Excitement filled his voice as he tried desperately to keep up with his father's long sweeping strides.
Little Ben Solo followed Han across the massive hanger towards the infamous Millennium Falcon. He loved listening to his father's adventure stories and dreamed of having grand escapades once he was grown up.
Han chuckled as he looked down at his six year old son who was practically skipping to keep up. "You'll be the best pilot there ever was, kid." Taking Ben's tiny hands he pulled him up onto his shoulders. "Now lets see what she needs work on today."
As everything unfolded in front of him Ben found his mind wandering back to his father. Unsurprisingly, Shriv has been more than upset at the revelation that Han had been murdered by his own son and his companion was equally upset at the shock of learning who he was: the man that helped tear the galaxy apart. The blaster did not waver holding its place under his chin. A blast here would mean death. Searching the Duros' eyes, he sensed the rage, anger, pain, and the conflict.
"Go ahead, do it." Ben spoke quietly keeping eye contact with Shriv, who blinked the conflict growing within him. "Go on."
"Stop it." Rey snapped her anger growing the blue glow of her saber lighting up half of her face.
Shriv hesitated a moment longer, as his finger began to slip off the trigger a red blast hit Ben's shoulder forcing him to take a step back. Instinctively he held his shoulder, nothing too serious, the wound cauterized instantaneously. He caught his breath finally steadying it from the shock of the blast. Straightening up he went to speak when Zay shot another blast at him, this time he stopped it. Holding it with his mind between them. BB-8 beeped in protest to the ridiculous situation. A few well placed beeps were too fowl to translate.
Taking a look at his side he grinned slightly at Rey's position. She felt the need to protect him in a place surrounded by his enemies but anger did not consume her, yet. She glared at Zay, eyes cutting through the girl while Poe stood still bemused by the circumstances.
Returning his attention to Zay he looked right into her eyes. "One blast is enough, most rarely get a chance to do that much." His voice was calm yet firm like he was disciplining a child. "Besides, you could have hit her." He gestured to the Falcon. "And I decide when she gets hit."
With a flick of his finger the bolt was redirected and shot off into a far off sand dune. Zay held her blaster up glancing at Shriv before holstering the weapon.
With a quiet sigh Rey deactivated her lightsaber and looked at him with concern before addressing the others. "Everyone needs to quit fighting. We need to work together if we're going to fix any of this!"
Ben looked down at her eyes flickering, he never noticed how how her nose crinkled when she was trying to control herself. He glanced at the hole in his father's jacket and thought quickly thinking of where Han would have kept the sewing kit.
If he remembered to keep one on the ship.
Before he knew it Rey had ordered everyone back into the Falcon to catch Zay and Shriv up on everything while they waited for Finn and Rose to return with the supplies. It wasn't difficult to slip away to clean up his shoulder and patch his father's jacket and shirt he was wearing. The pain radiated down his arm like a fire that grew with each movement but he ignored it as he sewed the old fabric together again. With each new stitch he made the more his father's memory remained at the forefront of his minds eye.
"I'm flying! Look! Look! I'm flying!" Ben bounced up and down in excitement a great big grin plastered on his face.
"Easy kid, stay focused." A proud smile came over Han as he looked at the co-pilot seat where his son sat.
Little Ben was tall for his age but the massive chair that was usually occupied by Chewbacca seemed to swallow the ten year old whole. Han kept a steady hand on the controls ready to redirect Ben's controls to his own if need be. The kid was a natural though. He had never seen someone learn to fly a ship of this size so quickly.
Ben continued to patch the jacket, just a few more stitches left. The needle felt heavy in his hands as his mind wandered.
"It's okay Ben. Just...settle down now... it's okay." A groggy Han Solo picked up his son and laid next to him in bed.
"I'm sorry...I just...they're worse now..." Ben rubbed the tears from his swollen eyes. "I can't make them stop."
Even though he was ten his father presence comforted him when the visions and nightmares began to worsen. The menacing voice that used to plague him every night had begun to speak constantly throughout the day and nightmares filled with the death of his parents, Han and Leia, became more real each evening.
Han pulled him son close to his side and brushed the boy's long black hair from his face, kissing the top of his head. As he did Ben let out a long shuttering sigh of relief as he melted into his father's arms.
"It will be alright Ben." He looked at where the boy had nestled into the crook of his arm even though it was too dark to see. "What happened this time?"
Ben began to tremble in his father arms and tears filled his eyes spilling down onto his cheeks. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry." He repeated over and over again getting more upset each minute.
"Shhhhh. There's nothing to be sorry for kiddo." He squeezed him tight in his arms.
"You and mom...you...you were dead!" Ben shuttered as he tried to speak voice and breath so shaky Han could barely understand him.
"Ben, I'm right here-"
"No! I killed you! I did it and I didn't want to! I had to I and I couldn't stop!" Ben sobbed into his father's arm repeating apologies through gasps for air.
Han hugged his son rubbing his back. "Hey, hey now. Easy kid." He spoke softly trying to think of something that would put the tortured kids mind at ease. He hated this. Han would give anything for his kid to be free of the pain he felt every day and night. "I am right here, your mother is just away for a few days but she will be back." Ben went to argue but Han stopped him with a well placed finger to his lips. "No. We are still here with you. You're okay. It's going to be okay kid. We will get through this one way or another and I'll always be right here." He placed his hand on Ben's chest. "Got it?"
"Got it." The boy nodded settling back down. "I love you father."
"I know Ben, I know."
Cutting the excess thread Ben picked up his father's jacket and looked it over once more for any imperfections before sliding it back on. His shoulder was painful but manageable for the time being. The girl had good reason to shoot him as did Shriv. Why didn't Shriv shoot first? The Duros had more reason to hate him then the girl. He had known both of his parents personally. Shriv had seen Ben grow up. Learning that he had killed his father and was apart of the order that caused so much suffering would throw anyone into a fit of rage.
Ben would never understand why anyone would give him any more chances to screw up. His destiny had been thrown onto him from two masters one light, one dark. It was time for the past to die. Learn from it and move on. But that was easier said than done. Still he was determined to surpass both of his former masters. He would make his own destiny from now on.
Exiting the quiet chambers he walked down the hallway to rejoin the others. Rey, Poe, Zay and Shriv sounded like they were done arguing. In fact it was unusually quiet in the ship. Turning the corner he walked over to Rey.
Rey smiled slightly as he came to her side. "How's the shoulder?"
She was horrible at lying and covering up any concern she felt. Rey was an open book. Ben shrugged a shoulder, "I'll live." The annoyance in her face amused him greatly, "Where's Shriv?"
"They left to go check on Finn and Rose and possibly getting another ship."
The realization that they were completely alone eased his mind. "Mmm." Moving around her he sat on the old yellowed couch letting every muscle relax for the the first time he could remember. Sighing Ben closed his eyes listening to the quiet peacefulness he had never had a chance to experience.
Pssshhhh!
A gas leak. Something had inevitably broke down below. Sitting up straight he opened his eyes but Rey was already down beneath the deck assessing the problem.
"I got it!" She hollered assuring him that his assistance was not needed.
The Falcon had been in dire need of new parts since his father acquired it. Being a smuggler turned general then smuggler again Han did not seem to find the time to make the necessary repairs. Toxic gas leaks were a common issue aboard the ship and if you fixed it quick enough it was considered a minor issue. If it was not repaired in time however everyone on the ship would die a slow agonizing death.
Standing, Ben reached out and felt for Rey. The clanking of her steps beneath him had stopped and he could no longer hear her working. There. The energy around her was quiet, still, unmoving. A sense of panic filled his stomach and his hands felt oddly cold at the thought. Running to the access panel he slid down beneath the deck and found both the leaking pipe and an unconscious Rey.
Acting quickly Ben grabbed the tools that were scattered around Rey and began repairing the pipe before he himself passed out. As he worked he felt for Rey's mind trying desperately to find something to hold onto.
Finally! Damned blasted thing.
Tossing the assorted tools aside Ben scooped Rey up into his arms. She was so light, just like in the forest on Takodana he was afraid he would break her if he held her in the wrong way. Glancing up at the hatch he had jumped down he thought for a moment on how to get them both back up to the main deck. Deciding he gathered enough force energy and jumped gracefully landing on the deck.
Within a few steps he made it back to the decades old grimy leather couch and laid her down gently. Reaching out with the force he checked then double checked her again just to be sure she was actually alright. Mentally scolding himself for his anxiousness. Confident that she was merely unconscious and would come out of it shortly Ben sat on the edge of the seat gazing down at her, eyes flickering.
She seemed so peaceful. Would he ever know such peace? Even when he had been knocked unconscious on the Supremacy his mind and body weren't in such a state. He studied her features committing them to memory. He could not help but let his mind linger on her refined beauty. Growing up and in all of his travels he had never caught sight of someone as lovely as Rey. Her eyes. Her lips. Her energy. Her hair.
A trestle of hair was curled over her eyes, moving slowly he tenderly caressed her cheek as he brushed the hair from her face. As he did this Rey blinked confused for a moment but then relaxed into the couch, smiling softly up at him. Before he could move his hand away she nestled her head in his hand keeping him from moving it away momentarily.
"Next time I'll fix the damn ship." He smirked.
Rey snickered and shook her head sitting up. Her eyes twinkled in the dim lights of the Falcon. "I've fixed it before."
Ben rolled his eyes. "I fixed it now. You were laying down on the job. Ooofff-" He grabbed her hand before it could poke his ribs again. "Watch it."
"Then stop arguing with me."
"Listen to me then short stuff." He narrowed his eyes at her. "You nearly gave me a heart attack and I'm not about to let you do that again."
Rey's eyes glanced down at his hand that was holding hers before scooting slowly closer him, rubbing her thumb over his fingers that kept her hand in place. Gazing up at him she glanced quickly at his lips. "Can I have my hand back?" She asked voice so tender he could barely hear her.