We're back into the groove of calmer waters in NoLa with filming episodes, working on my school work, a little bit of renovation stuff, and flying out to NYC next week to catch up on all the stuff I missed because of DSMN.
Abby has been my rock these past few weeks during all the craziness that comes along with DSMN. She was the light when everything got hectic and fuzzy with stress. I was texting Lucas after the concert to thank him for coming and he reminded me of how hard it was to be my boyfriend during this time of year. To be my partner, in general, is tough, I haven't forgotten what Abby asked me, "do I want to marry my career or marry someone like her and have love forever." I haven't done much to change that and show her that I don't want to marry my career. I love my career but it doesn't fill me up when I'm lonely, in fact, it's usually my career that makes me feel alone in a room full of people.
"I can hear you thinking, baby," Abby says from her seat on set.
"It's nothing, munch...you wanna run lines?" I deflect.
"That's fine, you'll tell me later."
"Ladies, can we get you on your marks, please?" asks the director.
We film the remainder of the day and I get a large chunk of school work done. We actually wrap early because all of us are on our game, early as in we didn't have to have dinner at craft services and actually made it to a restaurant for date night.
"Okay, give me your five," Abby says sitting up in her seat, sipping on her glass of red wine
"My five what?" I lean back full from dinner.
"Your five people I have to let you sleep with, like you get a pass for these five people," she explains leaning forward and swishing her glass in front of me.
"Oh. Huh...are these set in stone or can I change them after I say them? Because some of these might be off the top of my head..."I lean in and grab my drink.
"Fine, you can change them..." she rolls her eyes with a smile.
"Okay, in no particular order, Mila Kunis and Blake Lively for sure. Michael B. Jordan. Oh! Gal Gadot! And Hemsworth! Definitely. Yeah, those are my five," I laugh because that took a lot longer than I thought to think about.
"Wow...why was it so hard to think of those five? It literally took you maybe 3 minutes, babe," Abby giggles.
"I don't know because I think secretly you were on my list and now that I do sleep with you I was like well now what?" I shrug.
"Aww, baby!" I can see Abby blushing even in this lighting.
"Okay, so what about your five?" I ask curiously.
"Uhmmm..." she hums thinking about her five.
"See, not as easy as it sounds is it?" I tease.
"I have Gosling, ohh Idris Alba!"
"Hey wait I want him too! Oh my god!" I interrupt excitedly.
"No way, me first! Efron, of course...Kate Upton, and...Margo Robbie, I think," she giggles.
"Oooh you have some really good ones like I should take your five too," I joke.
"No way, you can have them after me!" She teases.
Abby picks up the bill and we head back to our condo, left arm wrapped around my waist and my arm around hers. This is exactly what I'm talking about when I say having a person, like Abby in my life fills me up.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
I'm off to NYC for another round of abuse from Professor Watters and the other half of my doubtful cohort and I groan with agony because Julia warned me that the other members of the cohort that didn't want to be part of the small orchestra I put together for DSMN now hate me even more. There's no winning them over now...
Abby is coming on this trip this time because Lee has called her and asked her to come, I have a feeling about why. He said he hasn't changed his mind about proposing to Jon. He has been texting me different types of rings he wants to propose to Jon with and is finally ready to pick one out but needs both mine and Abby's help...because that isn't suspicious at all, Lee.
We get to the city and Lee is already waiting in the lobby of our hotel, he's actually glowing! I never understood that reference, not even when people were telling me I was glowing when I was engaged to Lucas, until now! I can see Lee beaming with love and excitement!
"Hurry up and drop off your stuff! We're on a schedule because Jon thinks I have a work thing and he knows you guys are coming today and wants you guys to come over for dinner and...we just don't have a lot of time! Let's go!" Lee says in one breath.
"Okay! Okay, hold on!"
We check in and drop our stuff off in our room with Lee on our heels the entire time, pushing us to move faster.
"Ok, where are we going first? Which jeweler?" Abby says with one of her big show smiles.
"I have a two I want to see today because I love both their style. I want to check Cartier just because I've been wearing them for years and all their jewelry is timeless and classic which is what I want for Jon. Then we have a more modern take with Harry Winston," Lee says in the car ride over to Cartier.
Lee has become the number one celebrity a-lister's makeup artist, he used to just be my MUA then my friends and now he's the most wanted MUA for fashion weeks all over the world. Since moving in with Jon to NYC he's mostly taken jobs in the city whether it's print or celebrity appearances here just so he doesn't have to be away from Jon who is based here. I miss having my brother home with me LA but how can I not be okay with it when he's this happy and in love. I know my mom struggles with having two of her kids always away and traveling.
"OHMYGOD! Look at this one!" Lee says calling for Abby and I across the jewelry store.
"Ohhh Lee, it's gorgeous! Is that the one?" Abby ogles the ring.
"I think so like I don't want to see any other rings other than this! I can see Jon wearing this one," he says with stars in his eyes.
"Do you have a ring size, sir?" Asks the jeweler.
"Yes! Size 10, I believe."
"I'll be right back, to package it all up."
"Oh my god, this is it, kuya," with tears starting to form in my eyes.
"Stop! I don't want to cry! This is just the ring!"
"I'm so proud of you..."
"I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Last time I felt this sure was when mom and dad asked if they could adopt me," Lee wipes a tear from his eye.
"You guys!" Abby has full on tears streaming down her face and we all laugh and wipe away our respective tears.
"I have never met anyone more in love and devoted and understanding of Jon than you, Lee. You are everything and more for him. I always thought there wouldn't be anyone good enough for him except me, then I met Liv who introduced me to you and we set you guys up on that blind date and now look at you guys, OHMYGOD," Abby cries.
We walk out that store arm in arm, all three of us, knowing starting today we would be family forever.
"How are you going to ask him, kuya?" I ask.
"This is so extra but I got these giant cardboard cutouts of pictures of the two of us from different stages in our relationship. From our first dates in London, to events in LA and New York, and of our favorite spots. I asked the people at his theater if I could use the space on Monday as an 'anniversary surprise' but I want to set everything up there, take us on a trip down memory lane but at the end, it's a photo of me down on one knee," Lee explains.
"Jesus Christ that's fucking beautiful!" I groan.
"Lee. I can't. That's perfect!" Abby slow claps.
"wait so you're doing it Monday????"
"Yeah, his parents are coming and mom and dad and Kevin too!"
"Oh my god. I'm not ready!" I say. "Are you nervous?"
"No, I'm more excited than anything but then again ask me Monday...or don't," he nervously laughs.
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
The weekend went by rather slowly because of the anticipation of Lee's proposal. My parents and brother are in the city for the special occasion. I've spent most of my weekend on campus working on stuff with the rest of my cohort. I realized this was the only time I ever felt "normal" like I wasn't the Olivia Riviera the entire world knew. I was just another girl going to Juilliard.
"Mom hasn't stopped crying..." Kevin said dully and rolling his eyes as he came into my hotel room and sat on my bed.
"Whatta baby," I say sarcastically.
"What about dad?"
"Eh, he's told all the family already that his eldest son is going to propose to his boyfriend."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, everyone was congratulating us. Like we're the ones about to get engaged. It's like they forgot you got engaged first."
"Oh yeah, what were they like when I got engaged?" I asked quietly. Did I really want to know? I had worked so hard to repress that time of my life.
"They were way worse because you were so young when Lucas asked us for permission or whatever. Dad cried a bunch. Like ugly cried because he thought you were too young. It was funny! Mom cried a lot because she wasn't ready to see you get married."
"What about you?"
"I don't know, I don't think I wanted Lucas to marry you..." he says shyly.
"What? Why? You guys were so close..." I was shocked. I could have sworn Kevin was happy to see Lucas and I get engaged.
"Yeah but it felt...nevermind. It doesn't matter now anyway. You didn't marry him."
"No, tell me!" I say pressing on his tummy and laying next to my not-so-baby-brother in bed.
"Huuuuuuhh! Stop! That hurts! I just ate!" He said pushing my hands off his stomach.
"Then finish what you were gonna say!!!!"
"I didn't want him to marry you because it felt like he was taking you from us for good..."
"Kevin...even if I did I was never going anywhere," I tell him quietly.
"Yeah you were, everyone changes when they get married. I didn't get it then because I didn't have a girlfriend but now I do and I get that things do change when you're in a relationship."
"Are things different now that Kuya is getting engaged, I'm dating Abby, and you're dating...Alyssa? Is it Alyssa this week?" I tease. My brother is a handsome guy and has definitely benefited from being known as my brother.
"Alyssa. It's Alyssa but that's not working out. I think she's gonna break up with me. Or I'm going to break up with her. She got what she wanted out of dating me which is popularity," he said sadly.
"Aww! I'm sorry. I didn't like her anyways, you know who I do like? Your friend Sam. She's so cute! And she's a good girl!"
"Ha! Sam? Naaah. She's not. You think she is but she not," he laughs.
"Whatever!"
There's a knock on the door, I push myself up from bed to open the door, it's Lee. He has pizza and bags of food and ice cream for us.
"What's this? Kevin just ate he said."
"It's food, we're gonna hang out. Just the three of us. No significant others. No mom and dad. Just us," Lee smiled warmly putting the food on the table.
"Kevin, why did you eat already??"
"Franklin was hungry!" We call his stomach Franklin like the turtle because it looks like a shell when he's full.
"Ugh well, I bought hella food!"
"Ooohhh!" Kevin gets up and opens every bag picking at all the food Lee brought with him, so much for just eating...
We pick a movie and all sit on the bed together eating our food, simply enjoying each other's company.
"Lee, Kevin thinks everything is going to change now that you're getting married," I say out loud.
"What? How?"
"You guys act like you don't spend half your holidays with your partners family...you guys are always going to be torn or split in half between us and their family," Kevin says defensively.
"That's just how it is when you get older and are in a serious relationship. You'll understand when you get there," Lee tries to explain.
"I guess," Kevin says, putting his head down and picking at his food.
"You'll always have us, Kevin. No matter where we are or who we're with. We got you."
\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Today is the day! Lee isn't going to propose until later in the day so I invite my family, Jonathan's parents, and Abby's parents for a big lunch to a pre-engagement celebration just for us. Lee and Jon are back at their apartment just hanging out while we're celebrating their soon-to-be engagement.
"I want to make a toast," says Jon's father holding up his glass of water. "To our two sons who have found one another and love one another in a way others can only hope to. To our families joining and becoming one. We all gain another family member tonight!" Everyone cheers.
A few minutes later Kevin, who is sitting my left, nudges me to look out the window, "there's paparazzi."
"Fucking shit. Why are they even here?" I ask frustrated.
"Relax, babe. It's fine. They just want their pictures, that's all."
"I hope so. They better not ruin anything tonight."
"They won't!"
Before we know it, it's time to make our way to Jon's theatre. We enter through the back and take our seats in the upper level so Jon doesn't see us. We have to stay quiet and hidden when we hear the doors open.
Lee and Jon walk in from the entrance, "honey, what could you have possibly forgotten here yesterday? You didn't even sit in the audience! You sat in my dressing room."
"No, I know but I just wanted to come in this way. Here! Let's go through the stage," just as the two were about to walk up the dark stairs onto the stage the lights turn on the stage and all the photos are visible and it literally takes everything in me not to cry and "aww" out loud!
"What....honey, what...what is all this?" Jon says surprised with his eyes wide with amazement and surprise.
"I wanted to take you down a physical memory lane," Lee takes Jon's hand and they start stage left. "This is from our first Skype date when you were working in London...and this one is from our first actual date when Liv flew me out to see you. I was so nervous I remember pooping like 6 times before I went to see your show. I knew, the moment we went on our first real date that I loved you."
Lee walks further down, explaining each picture with an anecdote and a new reason about Jon he loved, "you know this one, it's the one when we moved into Liv and Lucas' apartment — our apartment. I never told you but I was so scared of moving in with you, I kept thinking that once we moved in together you would see how annoying and gross I really am and you'd break up with me. But that was a year ago and you've only shown me how much you love me despite the weird shit I do. You have loved me at my worst and when I pushed you away you only pushed back, never leaving my side. You have pushed me to achieve all the dreams I was afraid of. You sang me love songs and kissed me in the rain. You love my crazy, dysfunctional family as if it were your own. My sister and my brother, my mom, and dad...they trust you with my heart and so do I."
They move to the last picture of Lee down on his knee and my brother kneels down in front of Jonathan, "I have loved you with all my heart for so long, I see your face even with my eyes are shut. You have given me your never-ending loyalty, honesty, and love and I want nothing more in life to give you the same and to spend every day of the rest of my life and afterlife with you and only you. Facing the world and it's triumphs and challenges together...would you do me the honor of being my husband, Jonathan?"
Jon is crying and trying to wipe the tears out of his eyes when he says, "yes! Always and forever! Yes a thousand times! I want nothing more than to be your husband but wait..." Just as Lee stands up to wipe his tears and place the ring on his fiance's finger Jon gets down on bended knee and all of us lose our goddamn minds, including Lee.
"I have had carried this ring with me, foolishly, everywhere I go for the last three weeks trying to plan a huge romantic gesture but I didn't know how. I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you in London but I fell in love with you when I saw your drive, ambition, your heart, and soul in everything you do, with every step you take in life. Honey, if you'll have me, will you do me the honor of being my husband?" Jon asks Lee, both of them crying exponentially at this point.
All of us in the upper level are doing our bests to stay as quiet as possible but that twist of having Jon propose back to him is pushing us over the edge!
"Yes! Forever and ever and ever and ever, babe!" the two newly engaged couples embrace and we can finally cheer and cry as loud as we want! Jon is surprised by his audience but not as surprised as we all were that he would propose right back and that he's had a ring the entire time!
"Did you know?" I ask Abby as we ran down the stairs to get on stage with our guys.
"No! I really didn't!" she says crying tears of joy.
"Mr. and Mrs. Riviera I am so terribly sorry I didn't ask for your son's hand in marriage, I was going to when I figured out what I was going to-" my mom embraces Jon in a loving hug telling him, "welcome to the family!"
"MAH BRUTHA!!!!" Kevin and I both yell as we get to Lee to congratulate him!
"Jon, there isn't a better man for my brother, welcome to our family," Kevin tells Jon in a sweet hug.
"He will always be your brother first, Kevin, and if you'll have me, I would love to take on that role for you as well...I've never had a brother before," Jon tells Kevin and I swear my heart swells and as if it weren't possible but even more tears are streaming down my face.
"You're stuck with me FOREVER now!!! I love you, I love you, I love you! Congratulations, brother!" I tell Jon.
He and Abby have their moment together and Lee and I watch their exchange from afar. Lee and I had our moment of sort of letting each other go as our #1 to make room for Jon and me kind of giving away my best friend and brother. It was Abby's turn to let go a part of her best friend for his fiance.
We all stop crying and take a ton of photos to be added to Lee's memory lane, we all gush over Jon's surprise proposal!
"Wait, so you had that ring for 3 weeks and didn't propose?"
"Yeah, I literally carried it with me in my pocket every day just in case...but what I really wanted to do was something like Lee but I guess I wasn't quick or creative enough."
"We could have helped you!!!!" Abby protested.
"I thought about it but I knew this was something I had to do on my own."
"How did you keep it a secret? I've known for months and it almost killed me trying to stop myself from blurting it out every chance I got," Kevin added chuckling.
"Months???" Jon asks surprised.
"He means, I decided a few months ago that I was ready and wanted to propose...it was a process trying to get all of this planned out, okay?"
"Well, nonetheless, it was one of the best double proposals I have ever seen in my entire life, son," Jon's dad says to both of them.
"Does this mean my dowery for Abby is off the table, Jonathan?" Marc asks jokingly and we all burst into laughter again.
"Best. Weekend. Ever." I say turning to Abby, pulling our lips together with my arm over her shoulder and her fingers interlocked with mine.
"Mhm," she says into the kiss.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
It was hard to go back to work after the weekend we just had but here we are, in the car, on our way to set for our first-day time shoot in what feels like forever!
I'm in the driver's seat with my right hand gripping Abby's thigh as we pull into the backlot for our show. We only have a couple episodes left before we wrap and I still haven't figured out if I'm going to stay in NYC until the semester wraps or if I'm going to fly to and from LA to NYC but I really don't want to do that, I know my work will greatly improve if I stay in NYC but Abby loves living in LA and we had said that after we filmed we would move into my place together...
"Munch, I need to ask you something..."
"Mhm," she says without looking up from her phone with the sun shining directly on her and the wind blowing in her hair, she looks stunning.
"I know we said that after we wrap we would go back to LA and you'd move in with me since the house is done, but I was thinking about finishing out my semester in New York instead of tiring myself flying back and forth, after we wrap we only have 2 maybe 3 weeks before the semester ends then I have two whole months off before all this starts up again," I say carefully, pulling into my parking spot.
"This is just an idea...a thought...we can still go back to our original plan if that's better," I say because my lady is silent and I can't read her expression behind her sunglasses.
"So, you want to go from NoLA to NYC for three weeks after we film and I go back to LA alone...and move into your house without you?" she says harshly.
Uhoh..
"Uhm...kind of?"
She gets out of the car slamming the door shut and quickly but also angrily walking to her trailer. I follow with my tail between my legs and my head down because when she puts it that way...that was a very bad idea, indeed.
I knock on her trailer and wait for a response but nothing. I knock again letting myself in this time, "do I need a suit of armor for protection? Are you going to throw things at me again?"
She does. She throws a throw pillow at me but my cat-like reflexes block the incoming pillow.
"Stop making jokes. It's not funny. We talked about this already. We talked about what would happen after wrap and we talked about how you need to choose between your career and having me," I try to come closer to hold my lady but another pillow comes hurtling in my direction. Dodged it.
"You haven't exactly made any visible efforts in trying to balance out your life more, Olivia! I'm still seeing you put your work first and tabling me, you're tabling your parents, your other friends. I don't want to walk out on this relationship but if that's what I need to-"
I throw one of the pillows she threw at me back at her before she finishes the sentence she was about to say because I know...I know what's coming next. I know how that sentence ends, "don't finish that sentence. Don't threaten to walk out on me unless you mean it, I don't take to threats, Abby. So think again." I walk out of her trailer slamming the door behind me, fuming.
How could she threaten me like that? Threaten to walk out on me? Do I deserve that ultimatum? She already warned me...twice, to get my shit together regarding all this. But to threaten me? No way.
But am I going back on what I said about dropping it all for her, all she had to do was ask? Was that her asking? I think it was...but it doesn't feel right to drop the program even though that's what's been complicating my life these past few months. Did I not mean it when I said I would drop everything for Abby? So many problems would be solved if I dropped the program, but to give up when I'm this close to finishing this semester. Ugh but this is one of four...why did I think I could do this and juggle my ever growing career?
I know I can do this though, but at what cost? My personal life, gone. My lady, gone. My friends, gone. My life in LA, gone. So much can happen to my career in two years, I could lose it all. Is this really worth it?
I pick up the phone and dial, "Hi. Doc, it's me...Olivia."