BEBANG
''Beauty is something broad; something wonderful, whilst pretty is something perfect. Does choosing imperfection over wonderful matters?''
You would never know how it feels to be trapped alone inside a prison, how it feels like being alone and you have no one to talk to but yourself. Unless you were imprisoned before, or you happened to live inside the psychiatric wards before.
These are the perks of being a writer. You tend to beautify scenes using your powerful, witty words. Creativity is something what a writer has to be proud of. Sobrang haba ng pila ng mga sasakyan na umabot hanggang Araneta ang traffic. Oo exxagge! Hindi na ako magugulat kung bakit binagsakan ng titulong ''Most congested highway in the Philippines'' ang EDSA (C-4). Tinalo pa yung L.A - 1.110 S.B
Year 4000 na, may traffic jam pa rin. ''No man ever steps in the river twice,'' says Heraclitus. Era 2000 I stepped on the EDSA Road, the toll road was traffic. This present era – Era 400 I step on the EDSA Road, still EDSA though, the toll road was still traffic.
Some philosophers comprehend knowledge; Others talk about it. Others worship it. Others..
Have you ever heard the wonderful silence alone in park? Or the quiet and calm you feel alone with the nature? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven't the answer to a question you've been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you're alone in the whole house? Have you ever felt the goodness of silence when being alone?
Being alone means silence. Silence is the most beautiful kind of noise, if you just listen carefully. Bakit parang ang bigat ng atmbiance dito?
''Oh! Anong nangyari sayo bakit ang tagal mo? Alam mo bang late na tayo ng 20 minutes! Hindi na tayo makakapasok sa klase! My goodness, Bernardina! PO-001 is not something to be getting easy with. Alam mo bang isa sa mga kinakatakutang 7 dragons sa campus ang proffesor natin dun! Badtrip ka naman eh!''
The quadrangle is half-empty. The students must be in their own classes now. Alex lost her nerve. Silence supplies me a bag of snag. I can hear my arteries as it pumps my blood throughout my body, my heartbeat was too loud. It's pretty amazing to discover how tough our heart's responsibilty to secure our body's system, to keep us alive.
My manuscript is not something easy as pie. She will never understand how hard I researched for this, how tough ways I have been through. The research requires to be massive. My maxim was not to stick with only one reference. I have to be transparent in terms of different perspectives from different writers of different books. I must read; massive reading.
Inabot ako ng 4 hours sa national library. I do understand that education is what we should value, what we should be starving of. I do believe that ignorance must not something to be excused. I do believe in things that are part of my belief, my principles, my perspectives.
Unexpectedly, sa hindi ko malamang pagkakataon, biglang tumunog ang The Flame, Cheap Trick.
''You must calm down, Alex. Badtrip yung nasakyan kong taxi. Yung driver, the holy splendor of terror. As in hardcore yung dinaang paikot-ikot at pagkalayo-layo na parang may tinatawid kaming wormhole para tumaas yung metro.''
''As in exxagge. Kada pumapatak yung metro, pumapatak din ang poot ng kadiliman sa puso ko. Puso kong nagniningas at nagiging batong pumukol sa napakaitim niyang budhi na ipinaglihi sa..''
''Tapos ayun! Pagdating ko dito ready na ko to unleash my wrath, but no! Nakita ko bigla yung mga picture ng anak niya sa wallet niya. Mga anak niyang cute at umaapaw sa pangarap at pag-asa. Goodness! Why! Why?!''
''I mean, what's up universe? What's up! Kasama ba sa grand scheme of things na paglaruan ang damdamin namin? What's up!''
''Kailangan ko itong ilabas! Pwede ba kitang suntukin? Please! Hindi ko na masakyan ang ang complications ng buhay. Or your bag, please! Sisipain ko lang ng mahina. Please! Gusto ko ng karne, ng dugo! Ng total eclipse of your dark heart..''
Political Science-001 is something, atleast, to be get tough of. I am definitely not aware of the consequences I will have to face, including the ghastly things I will have to look forward of. Aware or not, we must face everything we have to face. Escaping shouldn't be ever a choice.
Acting fast at the first sign of heart attack symptoms can save your life and limit the damage to your heart. Recurrent panic attacks are often triggered by a specific situation - especially if that situation has something to do with your fears. Usually, the panic-inducing situation is one in which you feel endangered and unable to escape.
Heart attack and panic are expected. I got powerful logic.
''Enough with Abrera's sanity. Baka pwede pang pakiusapan si Proffesor Chua. Let us not tolerate procrastinating and start to rescue the bloodshot, time.''
—
It's almost 10:15. The next class was supposed to be SC-042. Proffesor Chua reported that Proffesor Clerk wasn't unable to go through. The debate was quite uprising a while ago in our PO-001 class. The negative team won. Alex and I is at the positive sides.
It's impossible to win in a situation where everyone else is insane and where everyone believes their own insanity. Do love spells and love charms are effective? We, on the affirmative team are obliged to give justifications and rationalizations for our side. I am not into witchcrafts. I do only believe in God and Science. Principle issues, there are some things you cannot compete with. You can't wage war against yourself.
''The answer to all your questions is "they can be'' and ''they cannot be.'' For many years science has declared love spells and psychic powers don't exist since it cannot prove scientifically to be real. However, our DNA contains what scientists call 'junk DNA' (non coding DNA), apparently 98% is junk DNA with no function according to scientists that is, scientists do not understand what use it has, so they have decided it is junk with no purpose; that's their explanation since they don't have a valid answer - they do not consider that it might contain information on our 6th sense and subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind makes us breathe while we are sleeping, it renews our liver every 6 weeks, our eye balls every two days and we get new skin around once a month, the subconscious mind takes care of all this and millions of other things that keep us alive, naturally the information is stored somewhere - in our so called junk DNA? And what do scientists know about dreams? Scientists have dreams, so they cannot pretend they don't exist.''
Proffesor Chua takes a slow walk in the middle aisle, the seat near in our row. He is scanning everyone's eyes. He stared at us for about 5 seconds before he moved forward, ''Are you saying that science is knowledgeable about only a portion of everything?'' I objected.
Proffesor Chua glanced at me, ''Miss. Emmanuel, not all of the questions starting with this words could be explained by science alone. It's a matter of faith, we don't always need scientific proof to put our beliefs in. We just believe or intuitively know that some things are real.''
The class was quiet, except Alex who was shouting at me inside her head, commanding me to stop. Her eyes could speak what her mouth refuses to explain. Proffessor Chua glared at me, I rebounded his gape, ''What is so good about having faith when you don't have evidence, Proffesor?''
Silence. The discussion about the link between science and faith is still in queue. Beliefs are still opposed to scientific mindset. Proffessor Chua just shrugged his shoulders, I was dumbfounded. My question was dumbfounded. The Proffesors in the Modus Institute are demanded to avoid arguments regarding science.
''Information related to our 6th sense or psychic powers is stored in our DNA, it is not junk DNA at all. Every one of us has psychic powers, intuition and a gut instinct. Some people are evidently very gifted psychically and are able to use their skills to work as a professional psychic, meanwhile others will often accurately know who is on the phone before they answer it. We've all sensed someone's eyes on us, even though we aren't facing their direction - we don't need scientific proof, we just believe or intuitively know these things are real.''
The topic was obviously illogical. Hindi ko alam kung saang planeta napulot ni Proffessor Chua ang topic tungkol sa gayuma o may history siyang inborn-saltik lang talaga nung sanggol pa siya. On the other perspective, the argument was a bit witty, though. The challenge was to learn how to camouflage with the false deceptions. I can't stand safe bets.
''Hey guys, I must say sorry to both of you, Alex and Bernardina. The debate was part of the POL-001. I was just doing what I should supposed to do. Do you mind validating my apology?''
Max appeared nowhere. I get up because I'm supposed to do pero kung hindi lang talaga dahil sa problema ko, I would stay in my seat with Alex and chat with here for the rest of the time. I can't withstand the fire in my chest, ilang minutes pa at guguho na ako dito.
''Yes, Max. You didn't mean to raise your voice, of course. I mean, you are saying sorry for unexpectedly exposing your dullard, didn't you? Raising your voice in a midst of a debate doesn't strengthen your proposals. What you did, is not something we can consider a character.'' Now I've witnessed Alex's persistent, tough behavior. In some ways, I loved her bitter gibe. Alex doesn't really know when to shut up. Max turned pale,dropping the ballpen out of his hand — heart thumping very loud — as he took in the scene in front of him.
The cafeteria was busy. Melissa smiles at me as she walks her way through the sweetcorn stand. Tables are full, and so are seats. Kung paninidigan kong umalis sa kinauupuan ko ngayon, saan ako pupunta?
''You stay, Bernardina. This is about your lovelife. My intention was not to spread a gloomy shit. You are supposed to get humor.''
Max stood frozen. He looks like he is trying to process in his mind, trying to rationalize his thoughts. He seems troubled, he doesn't know what next move he should do, what to act or to say. There is a sea of anxiety deep down visible in his face. Max tries to be really careful. I cannot easily blame him if he wanted to play safe. Remember that, two can play this game.
A guilty man is always nervous.
''This is not something about my lovelife! This is about the corner of my hope! Nakakita ako ng ipis. Sa sobrang poot, sa ipis ko ibinagsak ang achille's wrath! This is your entire fault! Kung hinayaan mo akong sipain yung bag mo, hindi sana mangyayari yun sa ipis!''
''Pero hindi ako sure kung natapakan ko siya. A while ago's moment, perfect na perfect ang balance ng yin and yang. Ayokong alisin ang paa ko at malaman ang result. I was kinda afraid of the result! This moment is really important.''
''Mind expanding balance. The bodhi tree. God. Ang buong buhay ko ay para sa moment na ito of enlightenment! Thank you, God! I am immortal! I am eternal!''
Alex laughs hard — a dull laugh and a pissed expression on her face. Max tilted his chin to the side and frowned. He hated jokes. They hated jokes.
Science has sucessfully removed the humor of the universe.
''Lunation isn't really tact, Bernardina. You can just tell me to shut up.''
Sometimes words speak louder than words – cryptic words speak louder than usual words.