tw: homophobic slurs, mention of self harm
**
Benjamin steps out of his shower, going into his closet to find an outfit to wear. He settles on black skinny jeans which are ripped, as well as a pink sweater. He grabs some white high tops, throwing them on as well.
He goes to his vanity, only putting on mascara and chapstick. He sprays himself with some perfume before walking downstairs.
"Good morning." Olivia notices him and waves.
Benjamin nods, grabbing an orange. His dad walks out, grabbing a coffee cup. Benjamin rolls his eyes and looks over at his mom. "He stayed the night?"
"Yes, honey."
Benny sighs and nods. "I'm riding the bus today. See you later." Usually, his mom would take him as he doesn't have his own car.
**
Benny walks over to Kiara and Zoē. He lets out a sigh of relief to finally see his friends. "Hey, guys."
They look at him before walking away. He stands there confused before going to find Jackson. "Jack? What's up with Kiara and Zoē?"
Jackson shrugs his shoulder. "Uh...N-nothing. I have to get to class".
Benjamin frowns as he watches Jackson walk away. He grabs his phone from his back pocket and texts his group chat, asking if he'd done something.
He frowns when he's left on read. He hears the bell ring and shuts his phone off, walking to class.
**
During lunch, none of them were at the table. Benjamin throws away his lunch, deciding to hang out by himself in the library.
He sets his bag down, grabbing a book. Though, he doesn't read it. He grabs his phone again, texting them once more.
He shuts his phone off, getting up. He walks back to the lunchroom, looking around for them. He sees them eating lunch together.
Benjamin begins to feel anxious as he walked toward their table. "Is there a reason I'm being ignored? What did I do?"
Zoē smirks, "Go away. We don't associate ourselves with faggots anymore."
Kiara and Caleb laugh. Benjamin freezes up, beginning to feel a little in his stomach, "You guys are joking right?"
Katen comes over and kisses Zoē.
Benjamin takes in a shaky breath, "Oh. That's why." Benjamin shakes his head and walks away from the table.
**
During class, Benjamin couldn't concentrate to save his life. He grabs his phone from his back pocket, texting his mom that he doesn't feel good.
She texts him back saying she'd pick him up and drop him off at home since she works late tonight.
Back at home, Benjamin sits on his bed, throwing his shoes off. Olivia stands in his doorway, frowning. "You'll be okay?"
Benjamin nods his head. "Yea. Just, feel nauseous."
"Okay, let me know if you need anything, alright? I'll see you later tonight. I love you."
"Okay. Love you too."
*
Benjamin grabs his computer, scrolling through Instagram. He sees the pictures of himself taken down from his friends' accounts. He tears up, shaking his head, and slams his computer shut.
He decides to eat something since he skipped lunch. He grabs a bag of tortilla chips and salsa. He takes them up to his room, sitting in his bed.
It hurts, how Zoē would date the by who almost made Benny commit suicide.
*
Benjamin gets in the tub, taking another bubble bath. He sobs loudly into his hands, knees pulled up to his chest.
Ms.Evan walks in, hearing him. She knocks on his door. "Benny? You Alright?"
Benjamin wipes his eyes, "Y-Yea...I'm okay." He looks down at his legs, letting more tears fall.
Olivia hesitates. "Yo-you're not relapsing...right?"
"I'm fine...really."
"Okay. Come down for dinner when you're finished up."
Benny finishes his bath, throwing on a long tee shirt and some shorts. He walks downstairs, smiling at his mom.
"Feeling better?"
Benjamin nods and sits down at the table. "Yea. Stomach doesn't hurt anymore".
"That's good".
Benny nods, grabbing his plate. "So..about dad...are you getting back with him?"
"I mean...I don't know. I'd like to."
**
After dinner, Benjamin goes back up to his room, into his bathroom. He sits down by his sink, crying into his knees again.
His mom and dad both hear him and walk up to his room.
Olivia shakes the doorknob. "Benny? Hey, open up. What's going on?"
Benjamin wipes under his nose and shakes his head. "N-nothing...Nothing."
He looks up at the ceiling, more tears falling. He silently lets out a sob. He wipes his eyes, biting his lip.
"Open up Benny."
"Mom, I'm fine. Please, I just need to finish getting ready for bed."
"Benjamin, last time...last time you did something like this, you were cutting."
Benjamin flinches at the word and shakes his head again. "I'm not. Please just leave me alone".
Benjamin's dad sighs, "Maybe we should go downstairs."
"Okay, fine."
Benny sniffs, looking in the mirror, causing him to let more tears fall. He shakes his head, wiping his eyes. He takes a deep breath, splashing his face with water.
"Benjamin! Kiara is at the door."
Benjamin groans, "Coming!"
He grabs his glasses, to hopefully cover his red eyes. He also grabs a pair of sweatpants, to hide his scars.
He walks downstairs, seeing Kiara sitting on the couch.
how dare this bastard show up here like this-
"Hi, Kiara. Wanna go to my room?"
"Yea, sure."
~
Benjamin shuts his bedroom door, turning around and crossing his arms. "What?"
Kiara sits down on his bed. "Hm?"
"Why are you here? I like, really can't deal with any of you right now. Seriously? Katen! Katen? Out of all people?"
"I just...Zoē has liked him for so long. But, Katen would only go with her if we dropped you."
"Is that suppose to make me feel better?"
"I thought it would. Not everything is about you, Benjamin."
"Katen made me depressed! He beat me up! He's the reason I started harming myself, you know this better than anyone!"
"People can change...please just....give him a chance."
Benny wipes his eyes, shaking his head. "I can't believe you guys."
Kiara frowns, "We really do love you".
"You sure? I thought you didn't hang out with faggots anymore."
"That was just a joke." Kiara shakes her head.
Benjamin laughs coldly, "Yea. Just a fucking joke."
He sits down on his bed, starting to cry again.
"Benny. Don't cr-".
"Y-you don't g-get to call me that."
"Please don't cry."
Benjamin wipes his eyes, shaking his head again. "Please leave...just leave."
"But...I'm sorry. But Zoē, she's really happy. You should be happy for her, Ben."
"Please just go, Kiara."
Kiara sighs and gets up, grabbing his purse. She glances at him before leaving, a smile on her face.
*