day 20
11.11 pm
lee haru
never leaving
it is at this moment
that the strings inside my heart begin to snap
leaving me hopelessly stumbling
the fact that we were so close
that we almost made it to busan
with just a few hours away
is the most painful part of it all
the crowd starts to disperse
i wipe the tears clouding my vision
he's no where in my sight
like the dust that flew by and left in the wind
i remember the look on his face
and the sparkling in his wavering eyes
as if he's saying
run, i'll find you
i'm stuck in the middle of a city i don't know
alone and helpless
my heart is torn between staying to find him
and between running off to busan
while i still can
after all
they wouldn't hurt him
right?
they just want to bring him back
i make it back with a cab
to where we parked our rover
my thoughts spiraling in an
endless tornado in my head
and when my hands grip
onto the steering wheel
i shut my eyes
and bang my head against the wheel
thinking that i deserve the pain
that's throbbing on my forehead right now
i insert the key, turn on the engine
and then i start to drive
if jeongguk is really happy for me
he'd want me to go on my own
while i still have the chance
he'd want me to be happy wouldn't he?
but what about him?
damn it
if he said we're do this together
then we're doing this together
i'm not leaving him behind
he's been there from the start
it's only fair if we're there together at the end
even if this is the furthest he can go
i'll stop too
even if this is the only chance i have
i won't go through without him
the trip that used to be meant for me
and only me
now feels like a trip meant for the both of us
and i'm never going without him
without a second thought
i turn the wheel and head towards
the nearest police station to the stadium
hoping, just hoping
that he's there, waiting
and if he doesn't get out
i'll have to break myself in