T H I R T Y O N E
~I fell in love with a world through her eyes.~
~Atticus~
a d e l i n
I groan as the throb in my head intensifies, pain shooting up in my back.
Feeling the ache in every muscle of my body increase more and more by the second, warm liquid trickles down my cheeks.
My head might as well be stuffed with cotton, limbs unfeeling and unsteady like jelly. My mouth, sawdust.
I take in my surroundings, the bland white walls practically seep melancholy, accompanied by pale lifeless pale, everything is tinged with a chemical scent that makes one want to scrunch their nose.
My eyes widen because to my side, I find Caleb, his head bent at an uncomfortable angle near our joined hands, his body slouched forward in a chair.
Memories come back to me.
The tracks, Cameron, my car, the race, my accident and Caleb.
Fresh tears start to fall from my eyes as I try to get up but only end up groaning at the sudden pain that spikes in my spine and causes me to stop midway.
Closing my eyes, I fall back-rather painfully-against the white pillows. The stream of tears dosen't stop as I think back and regret my decision.
Why did I have to put up a brave front?
This had been precisely what Caleb had warned me of. He'd only asked for one thing. My safety. And I had still managed to fuck up horrendously.
I deserve this.
My body trembles with sobs as Aaron's face flashes before the darkness of my closed eyes.
The look on his face when he had yelled at me to get out of the warehouse, those frantic eyes-identical to mine in every way-when they had registered what was to come next.
His now disappointed face looking down at my weak and damaged form.
The images suffocate me and I find myself struggling for air. My hand, connected to a drip, flies to my throat. Eyes flashing open, I finally seem to gulp down air in deep hungry breaths.
Biting my lip, I turn to Caleb's still sleeping form, his face turned towards me but only half of it visible.
Hating myself for the half moons that surround his beautiful eyes, the permanent frown his lips seem to be pulled into. I hate myself for hurting him.
Tentatively, I weave my hand through his hair which is in desperate need of a shower. I've mever seen him this disheveled.
Had he been with me the whole time I was out? How long was I unconscious for? And had he missed the game against West Cove High because of me?
Questions pool my mind and the hamering in my skull increases, the door slides open and I feel my another wave of self loathing when Noah and Ashley enter the room, both their faces stark with fatigue.
My friends' azure eyes shine with tears while Noah seemed to barely be holding himself together. My lips wobble at the state I put my friends in.
"I don't think I can go on much longer like this. Noah, she-she's my best friend..." As Ash's voice cracks I feel my heart crack aswell, she trails off her sentence and Noah without seconds to spare wraps her in his arms, placing a kiss on her head.
"I know, we all-Addie! You're awake! She's up!" Noah meets my eyes and a grin replaces his tired features, I try to smile back but fail.
The constant pain in my muscles refuses to let me focus or do anything else.
Ash covers her mouth with her hands as pearl shaped tears flow down her cheeks but this time a smile accompanies them.
Caleb stirs beside me, the next second he hastily sits up, alarmed eyes settling on me and my heart completely shatters in pieces when moisture lines those dark eyes, making the astounding strands of hazel and gold stand out.
"Please tell me i'm not dreaming." he whispers in disbelief, moving his hand to tentatively cup my cheek and as soon as his warm hand meets my cheek I lean into the touch, melting in his palm, I close my eyes.
Letting silent tears fall freely.
"You're not dreaming! We have her back! We'll go tell the others." Ash exclaims, pulling Noah out of the room, much to his dismay. Silence envelope the room. A tired sigh leaves my lips.
Gathering all the courage I have, I make a move to apologise for my actions but before I have the chance to do so, Caleb crashes his lips against mine.
I gasp at the gentle yet needy and almost desperate kiss.
The agony in my body numbs until all I feel is his lips moving with mine-the butterflies in my stomach and welcoming tingles causing me to mentally jolt out from my misery.
I can tell he's holding back-making sure not to be too demanding and harsh, I bite his lip-asking for more-ands he obeys immediately by deepening the kiss.
I reciprocate, wanting him to forgive me, wanting him to always be with me and wanting him to be mine and mine alone.
He places a kiss on my forehead, the fatigue visible as the sun on his face and I frown when I look at his slumped shoulders, the light sprinkling of a stubble along his jaw.
He was clearly in need of a good nights sleep.
"I've missed you so much, my Starlight." He mumbles in a hushed tone, smiling at me with sleepy eyes when I caress his face.
I love this man so fucking much.
"I'm here now." I lean forward "How long have I been unconscious?" I ask, lips tugging up because Caleb places another soft kiss against my palm, enveloping it in his warm hand.
"Well, you missed the game and today is Halloween. So two full days." He reveals almost hesitantly, my jaw slackens.
I'd missed the biggest game of the year, but more importantly had he played? As if sensing the upcoming question his lips tug down.
"I didn't want to leave you, whether it be for one hour or one second, but the guys dragged me to the field. Literally." He looks down at our joined hands.
"It's been torturous, watching you lay there unconscious hours on end with nothing I could do to help..I've never felt this type of helplessness and I hated it. Every second." Pain laces each word and tears yet again pool in my eyes.
"I'm so so sorry. I never intended for any of this to happen. I should've been more careful." I whisper, not being able to face him, I look away, the movement causing water droplets to fall on the white cotton sheets "Je suis désolé (I'm sorry)"
Caleb's hand squeezes mine.
"C'est bon (it's okay). The most important thing is that you're safe now." He wipes away tears from my cheeks "We're working on finding out what exactly went wrong with your car. It's saveable, by the way."
I nod weakly, knowing very well that while it may have been my car's unexpected malfunctioning, it was also my carelessness that had led to this outcome.
Caleb wraps his arms around me, I instinctively snuggle closer to him, cherishing his warmth.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
"Can you stop cheating?!" Tris yells as he glares at Noah.
"I'm not cheating, you blind baboon, i'm trying to take another card." Noah argues back.
"Your eyes are practically glued to Ash's card, you white haired piece of shit." He shoots back, Mase mutters something under his breath, taking a big gulp of his coffee. I manage to hear the word "idiots" though.
"She dosen't have a problem, why do you? and you did not just call me that." He grinds his teeth together pointing an accusing finger at Tris who scoffs and crosses his arms.
"You certainly have a lot of wax in your ears beacuse I just did, loud and clear." he snaps back. Danny pinches the bridge of his nose and I voice my sentiments with a roll of my eyes.
"Here we go again." Candice sighs, leaning back against Mase, some red strands flowing free from the braid she has them in.
"I've had it with you!" Noah yells, getting up and jumping on top of Tris who now starts to wheeze and scuttle around, yelling for air.
"Immature is an understatement." Jas shakes her head from side to side, watching Tris topple over Noah and vice versa "I've seen cartoon characters with more brain cells than these two."
All of my friends are huddled in the spacious 'luxury' hospital room (I didn't even know they'd existed-Candi had pulled some strings) I'd been shifted to once I was deemed stable, playing Uno.
Playing peacefully until both Noah and Tris started to bicker for the fourth time.
And now seven pairs of eyes watch two boys strangle eachother on Halloween night. What a turn things had taken. Never, in any scenario, would I have thought we'd end up here on the October 31st.
Doctor Laurant-Candice's dad-had checked up on me only an hour ago, assigning a whole list of medication and endorphins. And thank fuck for those pain killers because if not for them, I would've passed out from the sheer agony.
When I'd asked him about leaving, William Laurant had only glared at me, explaining how I was immensely lucky to walk out of that accident, with my spinal cord not having faced major trauma.
Though many attempts of pleading later he'd finally sighed in defeat and given me tomorrow's date. Only if he felt that I was healthy enough to go back into my daily routine, of course.
However, he refused to budge on the one week school leave rule.
He'd left with one last warning look at me after ruffling my hair the same way he did his daughter's. Who'd protested as more hair had come undone from that braid. Theirs was a relationship I would forever long for.
Specially at time like this. William had given me more than my own mother and father had. Noah had informed my parents, who were in Mykonos getting day drunk on Mai Tai's with whoever they'd signed a new deal with.
Mr and Mrs Alderige had each deemed me worthy enough to send a messege, with Mother's including a two paragraphed lecture on my 'preposterous behaviour' and Father's a mere 'get well soon'.
Warmth greets my hand, pulling me out of my trance, I meet Caleb's soft yet tired eyes.
I had been informed by my friends that Caleb had stayed by side throughout the two days, with the only exception being the game against West Cove.
"Beau, why don't you go home and freshen up. You've been here for a while." I tell him gently, trying not to wince, everytime I spoke a sting would shoot up in the side of my neck.
Caleb's eyebrows pinch.
"Is this your way of nicely telling me that I smell?"
"I wouldn't have sugarcoated it if you actually smelled. A shower would do you some good because it'll be relaxing. It's also going to help with your sore muscles and knots." I try to persuade him, actually concerned as I rub his shoulder.
The humour in his eyes disappears when he nods, giving in. He stands up but I keep a firm hold of his hand, bringing my lips to his passionately before letting him go.
He says goodbye to everyone, kissing my head one last time and leaving.
I lean back against the wall of pillows, looking at my friends who sit around me.
Noah and Tris have settled down, the former rests his head on Ash's while she sits against him, teir hands entwined. Ash's droopy eyes reach me and she gives me a small smile.
Even here, tired and spent, Ashley Lysander looks stunning in her simple cream cashmere collar sweater and wide legged pants. Noah's jacked keeping her warm.
Candi stacks back all the cards with Jas helping her clean the mess the boys made. Mase and Danny indulge in the remaining slices of pizza we had ordered earlier.
"Hey Addie, while we don't want to burden you, there's a question we've been meaning to ask." Tris glances at our friends, fingers drumming an abstract beat against the wood of the bed.
I recognise the nervous habit of his, gesturing for him to continue. Everyone in the room is now alert and perked up.
"We were wondering if you've told Caleb about Aaron and about our past?" Candi asks, her sincere brown eyes shining as they look at me carefully. I bite my lip, looking away.
Telling Caleb about my past has popped into my mind more than just a few times. Every passing day the urge to tell him increases but so does the fear about the outcome.
My pulse quickens slightly when I look back at them, each of their faces illuminated only by the dull yellow light the lamps gave off. I shake my head silently, my throat dry.
"Addie, he deserves to know, the sooner you tell him, the better." Mase tells me as Candi returns to her seat next to him.
Both the couples hair rivals each others tousled look, the same fatigue prevalent on their faces after a long day. I force myself to control my breathing.
"I know. I want to tell him and I will as soon as I get the right time. Promise." My voice comes out raspy and I have to cough twice to get the sentence out.
Ash goes to pour me a glass of water. I smile gratefully, taking the glass with shaky hands, she pouts her lips, blowing me a kiss.
"It's clear that both of you care for each other dearly. Sharing your burdens with him will show him how much you trust him. I know first hand that confession is difficult but once it's done your shoulders feel much lighter." Jas takes my hand, comfortingly rubbing warmth in it.
"Thank you, I truly don't deserve any of you and I'm sorry as well, for causing you guys so much pain." I tell them sincerely.
These people have been with me through thick and thin, standing right beside me.
I'll tell Caleb about my past and about my feelings towards him as soon as I find the right moment.
"Aw you're going to make me cry, you crazy girl." Danny wipes away fake tears, earning chuckles and an unamused look.
That conversation had been mandatory, they were keeping me in check and again, I can't help but be thankful for them. But I'm also glad that the atmosphere has switched back to the light liveliness.
"Shit. We almost forgot about the event!" Ash curses, stifling a yawn with back of her hand.
"Oh yeah, there's this huge ass auction in the outskirts of the town, our parents will be there. We're on strict order to attend." Noah adds "Aunt kept calling me, demanding I give you the phone so she could tell you about it herself."
"Luckily, I know how to handle demanding women." He gets up from the foot of my double bed, stretching like a cat as he does so, then glaring at Danny who was scoffing at his sentence.
It's Candi who speaks next "This is a good one though. It's Cece line on auction, all the funds go directly to charity. Cece will be livid if we don't attend."
Hearing her name enough is to brighten my mood "When is it?" I ask, watching my friends shuffle around the room, collecting their things.
At that moment, the door opens and Caleb steps in, cald in a grey hoddie, a long black coat over it with a matching grey scarf dangling under the coats collar, his hair still damp from his shower.
He smirks at me, catching my wandering eyes, he'd shaved as well and now looks considerably energised. Everyone shrug on their coats and jackets while Caleb takes his off and carefully climbs into bed with me.
"Day after tomorrow." Mase says, moving to me, he kisses my head, followed by Noah who pinches my cheek and then Tris who hugs me so cautiously he barely wraps his arms around me.
The girls all kiss my cheek, giving me careful hugs-doing a much better job than Tris. Lastly, Danny moves to me, bending down to kiss both my cheeks and engulfing me in a hug.
"Okay, that's enough. Unhand my girlfriend, thanks." Caleb mutters jokingly, shooing Danny. I suppress a smile.
"Don't be jealous, I can give you a kiss or two as well." Danny winks at him just as Caleb shows him his middle finger with all of us watching the two in amusement.
Everyone slowly files out the room until only Caleb and I remain.
Caleb scoots closer to me, his head resting on my stomach. My hand finds his now mostly dry hair and his arms wrap me in a cocoon of warmth.
"God, I missed you." He mumbles into my stomach and I kiss his head, inhaling his scent.
Minutes pass, or maybe hours, our breathing evens, eyes feeling heavier by the second. Caleb pulls me closer and I snuggle comfortably against him.
Bliss.
This is where and how I want to be every night of every day for the rest of my life.
Because wrapped in his arms, do I feel truly at home.
☼ 𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙃𝙊𝙍'𝙎 𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙀 ☼
Happy Saturday!
Didn't think that this would go up today but here we are, so, Yay!
Guys i'm not even kidding when I say I can practically SEE and FEEL the ending running towards me.
I hope you liked the chapter
Until next time
Xoxo
💙