3.4.18
edit 8.25.20
tw; nfsw kissing, almost sexual content, mention of awsten's father
1,338 words
geoff p.o.v.
on day seven of our vacation, awsten was out of it. i could tell because when i woke up, i noticed he was already awake, staring up at the ceiling, and tear trails made their way down both his cheeks. my heart dropped at the fact that he didn't get any sleep; his eyes were so bloodshot.
i reached out to take his hand. "hey, baby, do you wanna go anywhere today?"
he shook his head and turned to bury his face in my bare chest. his right knee was brought up so that it nearly rested on my thigh, and his foot and ankle tangled with both of mine. i felt his fingers fumble against my abdomen, no doubtedly trying to find my shirt. i felt a tug in my abdomen at the sensation, but i forced it to stay down. instead, he got closer to me and pressed his hands between our chests. i had my head on my right arm, and my left arm was draped over his waist.
i traced my nails lightly on the outside of his shirt for a few minutes. it took me a moment to notice his trembling.
"hey, it's okay." i assured him. i set us up so that we were sitting across from each other. i didn't dare let go of his hands. "it's okay if you don't wanna do anythin' today. you can stay here while i go change plans wi-no, no, it's fine," i added, alarmed when awsten's breath hitched and new tears fell down his ashen face. "they aren't time-cramped plans, i made sure. this past week has been eventful, so i just planned a day out at a restaurant. william told me the reservations will be easy to fix in case we needed it."
"sshhould g-go." he whispered. "i d-don't wanna-"
i kissed his nose. "you're fine. really." i reassured him. "you can stay here and relax. i'm gonna go tweak the plans with william."
"sure?" he asked. i nodded and kissed his forehead. he hummed as i tucked him in, and i watched him snuggle into the bed. he kept his eyes open with blown pupils, and i saw him sneak one or two glances at me while i was changing. he was sleeping peacefully by the time i was finished. i quietly gathered the things i needed to go with william to perfect the plans for our last day, which was tomorrow.
we came back to the house later than i would have liked, nearly five pm. i kicked off my shoes by the door of mine and awsten's room, and went straight to the bathroom, after hanging up our rented suits. i figured awsten would still be asleep, so i quietly made myself a mug of coffee.
i nearly dropped my coffee when i heard awsten clear his throat. i sat my mug down on the table and turned to him. my jaw nearly dropped when i saw him sitting on the bed. he had a sheet covering his lower half, but that was just about all the coverage he had. his pupils were blown. i realized something with a sinking heart.
i cleared my throat, and he visibly perked up at the sound. "uh-azalea, how long have you, uh-how long have you been sitting there?"
the corners of his mouth turned down as he thought about it. "um...wh-what time i-is it?"
"five."
"o-oh. i-i think since...th-three? peed a-a fffew min-'inutes ag-go..." he added, really just rambling.
two hours.
i went to take my shirt off, but awsten suddenly exclaimed, "no!" i quirked an eyebrow. he blushed, continuing. "i-i wanna..."
i nodded slowly and walked over to him, not taking my eyes off his. he bit his lip as i brushed my hand over his arm. his gaze lowered to the hem of my shirt, and he took it in his hands that were shaking slightly. he started to pull my shirt up, but i put my hands over his to stop him.
"you sure?" i whispered. he nodded vigorously, and i knew he was ready. so was i.
i let him pull my shirt off my body. his eyes searched my chest, and he ran his hands down from my shoulders and to my hips, making me shiver a little. he unzipped my pants and i pulled my underwear down after he pulled my jeans down. i stepped around the pant legs that have trapped my ankles. when i looked back at awsten, i discovered he was no longer wearing the sheet.
he scooted back to let me crawl onto the bed, kneeling in front of him. i cupped his face in my hands and our lips collided.
i pulled away for a breath. i started to kiss his collarbones, feeling his attenuated body already starting to camber, and absorbing in the braw of his existence. i kissed a trail up his neck. i lightly nipped his ear before i whispered, "you are a chef d'oeuvre."
his face turned red, and he laughed airily. he suddenly turned his head to attack my lips with his own. we fell onto the bed properly. he was under me, his leg was even between mine, but we did not stop kissing.
he pulled on my hair, and my nails kneaded into his shoulder, causing him to wince and still his lips. i backed away a little to ask if he was alright or if he wanted to stop, but before i could so much as get a syllable out, he was kissing me again, more avidly. we fought for dominance before awsten gave in. i bit his lip, and he moaned, his body arching again.
we made out for a little longer before awsten started patting my chest. "g-g-gee," he breathed into my mouth. "w-wait-wait-" i pulled away to look him in the eyes. "w-what're wwwe d-d-doin'?" he asked breathlessly.
"i...we're, uh, making out?" i answered, confused.
he nodded. "a-and...i-it feels g-good. i-is it?"
my stomach dropped. i should have known better. i was stuck because i didn't know if we should continue. on the other hand, i didn't want awsten to think his father was right, or that i was like him. i moved aside and sat up on my knees.
"aws..." i started, then paused. he instantly frowned.
"wwwhy c-cry?" he asked, and sat up too. my eyebrows went up in surprise as i wiped my cheek. i was still staring at the miniscule teardrop on my finger as awsten wrapped his arms around my neck and fell into my lap.
"is..." he started, then paused. "iiiisss...w-what we're d-doin'....bad...?
i kissed his nose. "no, no, it's not. it's-it's just..." i sighed and hid my face in his neck.
he whimpered. he rubbed my back. "shh...d-don't c-cry...lllet's d-do it...i-i tr-trust yyyou..."
i shook my head, not lifting it from his shoulder. "aws, i-i don't th-think we should. i don't wa-"
he withdrew from our embrace to put his hands on either side of my face. his heterochromatic eyes stared straight down into my goddamn soul. the anger in his eyes surprised me because i knew he wasn't capable of an emotion with such intensity.
"i-i trust you," he repeated, "a-and i-i think i-i can speak fffor the b-b-both of us wh-when i say that we wah-want th-this."
i kissed him softly. when i pulled away, i whispered, "i'm sorry..."
awsten sighed. he kissed me passionately again, but i could tell that he wasn't in it anymore. without talking, we held hands and got into bed. i held him so that he was using my arm as a pillow, more or less, and his legs tangled with mine. i kissed his forehead.
"i-i'm n-not rrred," awsten whispered. his eyes were closed. "o-or blue-violet. i-i'm okay..."
"aws?"
he opened one eye. "yeah?"
"i'm s-"
he put a finger to my lips. "rrrea-really." he huffed. "no p-p-pain ov-over here..."
i bit my lip. "i love you, daffodil."
he kissed my chin. "love y-you too."