A/N: I think this is one of the crackiest things I have ever written...but it was fun though. I have never watched or read any of the Fifty Shades books or movies, but I think I get the general idea of it, and honestly I just wanted to write something fun and traumatizing, so here you are.
Please enjoy~
Once again you awoke in a soft bed, a very soft bed with silk sheets and tons of pillows. You quickly sat up in the bed and found that you were in a brightly lit white room, which looked rather expensive. The furniture was designer and everything looked clean and neat. You looked down at your own body and discovered that you were wearing a black silk dressing robe, that looked a bit too fancy for just sleep. Underneath it you wore a black cocktail dress, and as you looked to the nightstand on your right, you found a black party mask. You took the mask in your hand and inspected it, again you felt like you had seen this room and mask before, but where was an excellent question.
You were ripped out of your thoughts as the door to the room flung open and to your surprise Reiji walked in, shirtless.
You screamed at the sight and covered yourself with the duvet.
"Ah, good morning (Y/n) beautiful day right?" he said as he walked to open the curtains and let the sun shine into the room.
"Put on a shirt goddammit!" you screamed as you threw a pillow at him, which he dodged.
He tried to say something, but you didn't let him, "I'm traumatised! I'll have nightmares for the rest of my life!!" you cried out as you continued to throw pillows at the poor idol, who was still trying to say something, but he was hit in the face with a pillow and you continued your crying.
"I'm scarred! The horror oh the horror!" you wailed as you put a hand to your forehead and fell dramatically down on the bed.
"Are you done? it can't be that bad" Reiji said as he finally put on a shirt.
"It is" you mumbled from your sorry state on the bed.
"What is going on in here?" Camus' voice was heard ask from the door, but you heard a few more people come with him.
"(Y/n) had a heart attack after seeing my half naked body, can't blame her really" Reiji said with a cheeky wink, you sat up and tossed another pillow at him as you turned to Camus, which you quickly regretted.
There before you stood not only Camus, but also Ren, Van and Eiichi, shirtless. This time you screamed and jumped up from the bed and ran to the other end of the room.
"What in the world is going on here?" you asked in frustration as you opened up a closet door and started throwing shirts at the half naked men.
"You know what, don't answer that, I'm out" you said as you left the room.
You quickly walked back into the room and slammed the door behind you as you looked to the others again.
"Why the hell is Masato and Natsuki standing half naked in the kitchen and cooking?" you asked the boys as your eyes twitched.
"And why is Yamato and Shion playing pool, also freaking shirtless?" you asked as you scratched the door in annoyance and confusion.
Ren was about to answer you, but you cut him off with your finger and said, "Or you know what, even more important question, why are you all shirtless?" looking to the five men before you.
"Because this is Fifty Shades of Grey, but since we can't be too, well you know, we decided to just take off our shirts and make up for it like that" Van explained as he smiled at you.
You stared at them for a while, at least they had put on the shirts now.
"Fifty Shades you say?" you asked still pretty dumbfounded.
Eiichi nodded and winked at you, a shiver ran down your spine as you searched for the door handle, this was too much, Shining was dead meat as soon as you got out of here.
As soon as you had grabbed the handle you ran out the door, but you didn't get very far before your face smashed right into somebody's bare chest.
You almost screamed, but you kept your cool as you looked up at the person you had just run into, it was Yamato.
You could hear Reiji, Van, Ren and Eiichi laugh in the bedroom while Camus sighed.
"Nice to see you too (Y/n)" Yamato said with a smirk.
You quickly removed your hands from his chest and said, "Are you made of steel or something? My nose seriously hurts" while you rubbed your sore nose.
"No" he simply stated as he tried to hold back laughter.
"Just put on a shirt" you said as you walked past him and into the living room, avoiding eye contact with any of the three remaining boys in there. You sat down on a very soft couch and sighed deeply.
It didn't take long before the boys had gathered in the room with you, now all fully dressed. You looked to them with a calm expression before you defeatingly said, "Are they doing this on purpose?" putting your head into your hands.
"Doing what?" Shion asked as he looked concerned at you.
"Why do I have to be a part of this as well, I have just been on another channel, this isn't fair, I need a break" you cried out once again.
"But at least we have the trophy, so if Shining would just hurry up and zap us out of here that would be great" you added as you slumped more down into the couch, while looking at the trophy before you at the table.
"Well that's good news" Natsuki said as he clapped his hands together in excitement.
"But why, of all movies in the entire universe did it have to be Fifty Shades of Grey?" you asked as you stared up into the ceiling.
"Well it could have been worse" Masato tried to comfort you, but you sent him a death glare and he looked the other way.
"I would still rather have been Chewbacca than this" you said as Van and Ren burst out laughing.
"Anyway, while we wait, why don't we do something fun" Eiichi suggested.
"That really depends on what you see as fun, seeing as we are trapped in a house with a literal S&M basement" Yamato clarified making you and Masato shudder.
"I mean something other than that" Eiichi said, "Unless you are up for that, then I'm not stopping you" he added with a grin.
"Let's sacrifice (Y/n)" Van suggested as he looked to you, while you narrowed your eyes at him.
"As I remember it there are no sacrificial scenes in Fifty Shades" Eiichi said as he looked confused to the others.
"Details" Ren said as he swatted his hand at Eiichi.
"Why me?" you asked as you crossed your arms over your chest.
"Because..." Van started but you cut him off, "If it's because I'm a girl I will literally sacrifice you instead"
"Yes" he said as he zipped his mouth shut and looked out the window. You scoffed and turned back to the others.
"I have a better idea" Camus stated as he pulled out a whip from somewhere.
"Where did you get that whip from?" Reiji asked in confusion.
"I ride a horse you peasant, why wouldn't I have a whip" Camus retorted as he furrowed his brows at the brown haired male, who laughed in return.
"I didn't know that the count was this...kinky" Eiichi said as he looked to the whip and then to Camus.
"Shush, we have children here" Ren said as he, Van and Yamato held their hands over Natsuki, Masato and Shion's ears.
"What was your idea Camus" you asked trying to get away from that line of conversation.
"We polish my riding gear" he stated as he dropped a saddle, a bridle, a pair of long riding boots and the whip on the table before all of you. Where he had gotten that stuff from was beyond you.
You all sat in silence for a while, while you polished Camus' riding gear, you honestly didn't have anything better to do, you wouldn't be exploring this house under any conditions.
"There is something I have always been wondering about" Natsuki suddenly said breaking the silence.
"What?" Ren asked the blonde male.
"Why would anybody wanna be tied up to a bed?" Natsuki asked referring to the many scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey.
You all went silent for a while, but before Ren or any other had the chance to say something out of line you said, "Because the bed sometimes feel lonely" making the rest chuckle in amusement.
"Oh I see, that makes sense" Natsuki said as he continued to polish his part of the bridle.
You sighed in relief, another disaster avoided.
Silence fell upon you again as you all polished, except for Camus who was drinking his tea.
As you polished your part of the saddle, suddenly Eiichi started to mumble, "It's a hard-knock life for us, it's a hard-knock life for us"
Van and Ren were quick to join in on the song, "'Stead of treated we get tricked, 'stead of kisses we get kicked" the two sang.
"It's the hard-knock life!" you all said in unison as you sighed.
"Don't if feel like the wind is always howl'n?" Reiji sang as he turned the boot in his hand around.
"Don't it seem like there's never any light!" Shion continued the song as he continued to polish the whip.
"Once a day, don't you wanna throw the towel in? It's easier than puttin' up a fight" Masato and Natsuki sang as they polished on.
"No one's there when your dreams at night get creepy, no one cares if you grow or if you shrink" Yamato added as he too turned the boot in his hand.
"It's the hard knock life" you said as you looked judgmentally at Camus.
"Okay that's it, I'll help" Camus stated as he picked up a part of the saddle that still hadn't been polished.
"Thank you" you all said in unison.
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Raging and Shining was still fighting furiously over the remote. a chair had fallen over and the couch had been pushed to the other side of the room, while the coffee table had been broken down the middle, but they were far from finished. Raging currently held the remote in his right hand and Shining was swinging in the chandelier only to let go and land on the former idol. Shining screamed as he landed and pulled Raging's beard, but Raging didn't budge. Alexander was watching the television intensively, seeing Camus on screen made the dog happy, and he could not be bothered with what the two men was doing.
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Shining grabbed Raging's right arm and smashed it into the floor, but Raging still held on to the remote. But due to the contact with the floor a button was hit on the remote.
"Could we skip all the kinky stuff and just get a lot of money and a nice car?" Shion asked as he finally finished polishing the whip.
"Just my thoughts" Ren added as he put his part of the saddle down.
"Let's make the money rain" Eiichi exclaimed as he got up from the couch, but just as he was about to head to the safe a yellow light surrounded you all.
"Not again" was the last thing you got to say before you felt the electric feeling run through your body again, and you disappeared.