unhelpful
Jess was eating peaches out of the can when someone knocked on the door. Since someone knocked and didn't just barged in, she took it as a good sign. That didn't stop her from reaching for Julian's hand. Nor him from pulling his baseball bat out of his backpack.
"Come on. I don't have all day."
Thomas. Which didn't mean they were safe by any means.
"You come alone?" Was the first thing Julian asked him once they faced him.
"Sure. Where's my brother?"
Disappointment flooded her. "We were hoping you knew."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"He's missing." Julian responded.
"And the girls. Are you sure you don't know anything?" She asked, trying to sound hopeful.
"I haven't heard from him in months. He said he would keep in touch and he hasn't."
Jess frowned. "We've looked everywhere. We're worried."
At Jess's words Thomas lost his fighting stance and looked away from Julian. "Any chance he just took off?"
"No. Sin wouldn't do that." He talked about it a lot. He thought they were more trouble than they were worth, but he was all talk. There was no way he would just take off.
Thomas turned away.
"Don't you care? Are you going to do anything, jackass?"
He stiffened and turned back. "Little girl, you need a real man to teach you how to keep your mouth shut."
"Try it." Julian warned. He looked ready for a fight.
"You think I'm scared of you and your bat, boy?"
Julian wasn't a fighter, he was a peacekeeper, but when it was called for, he was getting pretty good at fighting. That was the way it was now. You fought, or you didn't make it long.
"We just want to find Sinful. He could be in trouble." Jess explained.
"He's my brother. My problem. I'll find him. You two stay out of my way." Then he was gone.
"I really don't like him." She admitted.
"Me neither."
"And he was no help."
"Nope. I don't trust him so stay close."
That was their escape plan. If they stayed close to each other then she could get them out of imminent danger. Not that they were anxious for anyone to know that she was different, that would be just asking for more trouble but if she had to, she would. It was the only time she could use her gift these days. She was too weak to ever use it for anything other than an emergency.
Julian went back to eating his pork and beans. How many guys would choke down pork and beans and leave the peaches for her?
Once upon a time, she could have polished off a whole can and still be hungry. These days not so much. It was doing wonders for her thunder thighs and ass, but if she didn't find some new clothes soon, she was going to be in trouble. Her jeans barely stayed up on her hips and her grey warmups were no longer grey. Dirty, stained. Way too baggy.
Instead of getting back to lunch, she stripped off the offensive warmups and dug around in her backpack for the knife she had. Once she finally had it and looked up, she caught Julian's eyes on her.
Not unusual but the amount of time it took him to look away was. In fact, he didn't look away. She knew he didn't like seeing her looking this way. Knew it hurt him to see her so bad off. Forcing a smile, she gave her ass a shake. "It not being so big is a good thing, babe."
"So wrong, babe. Finish eating."
"Can't." Hard to have an appetite when your very skin hurt but she wasn't going to remind him of that. No matter how bad things were, she still couldn't bare for him to look so forlorn. "I can't bare these dirty clothes a moment longer. I'm making some shorts out of them."
"They'll still be dirty, babe."
"Well, yes but it will be easier to pretend they aren't. Tomorrow, one way or another we must find some water. Or clothes."
He finally drugged his eyes up her body and landed on her eyes. "Okay, baby. You won't hear any complaints from me. I'm pretty sure my pants could stand on their own. Luckily, I'm used to my smell."
"Me too. Want me to make you some shorts?"
He smiled. "I'll pass. In a few more months you're going to be freezing your ass off."
She was kind of looking forward to it. Anything would be better than this heat and humid. "Mr. Denton will be worried about us. Maybe we should make time for a quick trip home."
"Good idea."
His mood changed, and she knew why. Galveston. He didn't want to go. He would never say it, he didn't have to. It was dangerous. They were on their own. She knew a part of him wanted to say screw Sin. Screw Haylie and Macie, but he wouldn't.
Another reason why she loved him so much. He always did what was right, but only after doing what was right for her first. He wanted to find the others as much as she did, and he knew that having this to worry about was keeping her from having time to fall apart.
How long has it been since she's been worried about rather, she smelled or not?
Jess pointed her scissors his way. "If you're not going to let me make you some shorts then you should at least let me trim your hair."
"Love you, babe but there's no way in hell I'm letting you cut my hair. I still remember the last time you tried that."
"I was seven."
"My mom nearly had a heart attack."
She smiled a little. "I never told you this but after seeing what I'd done to your beautiful hair I sat down and cried."
"You never told me, but I knew. That's why you did that hack job on your own hair. Your mom nearly had a heart attack."
"Yeah well, I have to be better at it by now. Let me give it a try."
"Nope."
"Even if I..."
A feeling that wasn't her own trespassed upon her, and she lost her train of thought. Not pain exactly, though there were traces of pain, it was something else.
It was like a seedling had been planted. This feeling inside of her blossomed until it overwhelmed her. Guilt. For just a moment he'd felt guilty. Strongly enough that she felt it. His guilt turned to dread inside of her. Dread so thick it was nearly suffocating.
What was he doing? Who was he with? How could he not come for her? He had promised that there was nothing she could do to keep him away.
"Baby, look at me."
It was too late for that. Pain snaked around her and into her whole being. Not his, hers. Her hand went to her chest but never made it there.
Julian gave her hand a squeeze. "Baby, look at me. I'm here. I love you. Say it."
"You love me." She whispered.
"Yes. Me. I'm the one here. I'm not going anywhere. Say it."
"You love me."
"I always have." His lips touched hers softly. "Look at me."
She did.
"That's right. Don't let him take you away from me. If you go there, you know it hurts too much. You know it gets harder and harder for you to come back to me."
He was right. Emotional pain could so quickly turn into physical pain. A little she could bare but not the other. She couldn't go there.
Julian's hand slipped under her shirt and laid against her mark. Hot, very hot but not hot enough to burn him.
"That's my girl. Baby, I swear I'm going to find a way to release you from him. There must be a way and I'll find it. No matter what it takes."
Jess nodded that she believed him.
Julian moved away and went to their sleeping bags. Once he laid down, he opened his arms for her. Keeping her eyes on his, she went into his arms.
"Tell me." Her ordered softly.
"We're going to get a little house. Not too far from Mr. Denton. Something with some land because you're going to learn to farm." Back at the beginning, he held her countless times telling her what they were going to do. Planning a future for them. When she'd been too sick to see a future. It had become something to hold onto. Something to strive for. "We need to be close to water. Bathing regularly would be nice."
Her on a farm. When had that become the dream?
He urged her on at her pause.
"After the baby is born, we'll bring Mel, Aunt Sarah and the baby home. While you farm, I'll learn how to hunt." Jess smiled. "Mel better never know where the meat is coming from. She'll never stand for me hunting poor, defenseless animals."
"She'll change her mind once she's tired of potatoes, corn, and peas."
"Sure, and there will be those years when you have nothing to offer because everything has died on you."
"Nonsense. If you can learn to cook over an open fire, then I can learn to farm."
"I never said anything about cooking."
"Whip up some biscuits and victuals." He said in his best hick accent.
Her small laughter surprised both of them. "We'll be just like the Little House on the Prairie."
"Exactly."
"If so, shouldn't you be the one hunting?"
"No way. I couldn't stand to hurt any poor, defenseless animals."
"Jerk off."
His arms tighten around her and she saw a light in his eyes that she hasn't seen in a long time. Because of her. How long has it been since she's called him a name or hit him? Or laughed? "They'll be glad we went back for them, won't they Julian?"
"You know they will be, baby. Once they stop being so glad to see us, I plan on hog tying you and getting a belt, so they can beat you for leaving them behind in the first place."
"The baby______."
"I know, but I know them too. After all the hugs, tears, and happiness, they're going to want to wear your ass out. Don't worry. I'll only allow them a few licks a piece."
It was a nice dream, but there were some major holes in it. The Ingalls never had to worry about the aliens who were trying to destroy the world.