The encounter with Beth had left Oliver off balance. He had pretended for weeks he didn't have feelings for her. He left the proverbial ball in her court. How had he kept control during that kiss? He felt their connection throughout his entire body, but it settled in one specific spot.
He searched the internet for apartments on the Portland peninsula. He found two that could work and arranged to see them on Monday morning. He didn't care what the penalty was for breaking his lease, but he would wait until after the gala to tell Lucas.
The best remedy for his confused state was to keep busy. On Saturday nights, he had no choice, but to be busy. Thankfully, the winter weather didn't stop diners from coming on Saturday nights - short of a snowstorm. The gala was in one week, then his work with Bethany would be over. It was Saturday night, and she was with Lucas. His mind went in circles around and around. He had to convince himself not to text her. He had stated his intentions, and it was up to her to decide. He just hoped she was smarter than him because when their fate was in his hands, he failed.
It was his last week before returning to school. It was strained between Oliver and Bethany. One moment, she wanted to enjoy every moment with him and the next she was annoyed because he wouldn't talk about after he left. She had pleaded. "It's not that far. I can go down and you can come up. Plus, we can call and chat."
He kept thinking it was one thing if he wrote it off as a summer fling, but quite another if it continued as the leaves started to fall. Hayley was still his girlfriend, and she had patiently - well mostly patiently, put up with him being gone all summer. True, he was not happy with the spoiled way she acted when she visited. She was miserable and made sure he'd known it. Oliver tried to keep her happy when he wasn't working, but he felt guilty sleeping with her. He was generally messed up, because it felt like that summer belonged to Beth and Hayley was the intruder. Beth had known about Hayley from the beginning, but by the end of the summer she had definitely hoped he would break up with Hayley. He was young and stupid enough to enjoy having two girls love him and honestly believed that he loved them both.
The night before he left they made love. It was slow, sad, and beautiful. Beth lay with her head on his shoulder and Oliver felt his shirt getting wetter. He thought of his parents and of Hayley's parents who loved that they were a couple. Her father, Stu, called him 'son'. He thought of prom with Hayley and high school football games watching her cheer and feeling so happy that her smile was for him when plenty of other guys were interested in her. He thought of the crazy fun they had sneaking wine from their parents. Then he thought of how she'd snapped at Beth over sprinkles and how she wasn't very gracious to her hosts, Jake and Sarah. Oliver was more confused and held Bethany all night hoping for an answer.
In the morning, just before he hugged her goodbye, he said, "I've got to go back to Hayley and see if that's what I want."
"What about what I want?"
"We agreed to six weeks. I'll come back and let you know what I've decided. In order for this to work, we can't talk. We'll meet at the beach at one that Saturday afternoon. You'll only call that day if you can't be there. Okay?"
"No! But I knew what I was doing when we got involved." She suddenly sounded strong. Still she clung to him one last time and whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too."
Oliver drove away.
It was one of those moments when a crystal ball would have helped. He was a stupid romantic. What idiot would set up a future meeting like that? His biggest mistake was the day he drove up to say goodbye to her.
Oliver returned home for the weekend before returning to school on Labor Day. His mother doted on him. She had missed him, but more than once she asked if he was feeling alright.
"I'm just tired. I worked nonstop."
Hayley was with him almost every moment that weekend. It felt comfortable being with her. They dreamed about living in New York City where she would be a hot-shot attorney and he would be a top chef. He mentioned their two kids, because he hated being an only child. Hayley corrected him. "Two dogs, Shih Tzus."
Thinking back as he nursed a beer on the sofa at Beth's house, he laughed out loud. Hayley would be better suited for Lucas. In fact, if she didn't hate Maine, she would love his condo. Lucas was not the right choice for Beth. Had she once sat here thinking the same thing about him and Hayley? He looked around the room. Some things had changed since that summer, but a lot hadn't. The tide clock was still on the wall, although it needed a battery. The furniture was the same. It was more of a summer house than a year-round home. He felt better and better about his decision to move. He would miss it this summer, but he wanted Beth to enjoy it.
In the morning, he looked around again thinking of how easily he could pack his belongings. Unfortunately, his furniture was in storage in Massachusetts. He'd have to make arrangements which could delay his moving. He hadn't seen the places yet.
He arrived at work early and Ava made a face. He looked at her and snapped. "What? I've got work to do!"
"I've been thinking, if your girlfriend gives me attitude this weekend, I'm not holding my tongue."
Oliver's first thought was, Beth doesn't have an attitude, but then he realized that she meant Hayley. She was mean to Beth over sprinkles, but she was brutal to Ava for being his friend.
He went back to school and over committed to his courses to keep sane. Every day he wanted to call Bethany. He'd been friends with Ava for a few years and she noticed that Oliver had changed. Ava, like all his friends knew about Hayley, and had met her once.
"Hey Romeo what's wrong?" Ava teased, but unlike her normal flippant comments she was concerned.
"You don't want to know."
Oliver went home every weekend and being with Hayley felt normal. It felt like family. Their parents were best friends and neighbors, and they loved their children being together. He heard his mother and Maria talking. His mother said, "We'll wait until she graduates law school. Will passing the bar and planning a wedding be too much for her?"
"Not Hayley, she's so smart. It doesn't come from me." Maria laughed and said, "Besides..."
Both mothers said in unison, "She'll have us to plan for her!"
His mother giggled. Giggling, he thought. "Oh, so exciting. It's like a dream come true. Can you imagine how beautiful their children will be?"
"Adorable." Maria laughed.
Listening to the mothers, he knew he would hurt more than Hayley, he'd hurt everyone he loved - except one. So Oliver hurt one person for the sake of five. He could picture his life with Hayley, because it had been in the making for so long. It was harder to imagine a life with Bethany, because they had not moved beyond summer. Sure they played house, but it was like they were on an island and never experienced life on the mainland.
So he left for Maine that Saturday morning and arrived in plenty of time. Hayley was in New York City for the weekend with her best friend. It had been easy for him to put the idea in her head. He had decided that, "I'm staying at school," would be the last lie he'd ever tell her. He paced in the town lot looking down the street towards the direction she'd be walking. Oliver saw her coming and she must have seen him too, because her steps quickened. They slowed when she approached as if she was taking him in. For both of them, their shorts of the summer were gone. She wore a green sweater that brought out her unforgettable eyes. He had on a sweater, a Bean one, which seemed fitting for his last trip to Maine.
They first met with their hands. Her hands were warm to the touch even though it was a cool, crisp day. Oliver pulled her into his arms and held her and smelled her. She always smelled so good, but in a clean soapy way, not perfumy. She was more petite than Hayley and fit in his arms and under his chin. He savored the feel of her. Letting go, they took each other's hands and walked towards the beach. At first neither spoke and finally after they sat together on the sand, Oliver broke the silence. "How's Nana?"
"She's okay. She can't come home so she's in a nursing home. That was hard. It was a lot of work figuring it all out."
"I'm sorry." His voice trailed off.
"For what?" She turned to look at him.
"For Nana, for what you've been through, for everything."
They talked, and he tried to explain about the families and the mothers.
He stood and pulled Bethany to her feet. "Walk with me... please."
"When do you have to leave?"
"Soon, I can't stay. I'm sorry," he said sadly. He knew if he stayed, he'd be unfaithful to Hayley again. He had to become the man his parents raised him to be, not the deceitful one he'd been over the summer. They walked down the beach hand in hand. She stopped, and he turned towards her.
"I can't do this. I can't say goodbye to you again." She cried, and he felt his heart sever as if he was leaving a piece behind with her.
Oliver reached up and gently wiped her tears away. Looking down into her green eyes, he said, "I'll always love you. I wish everything were different, but it involves too many people... more than just you and me."
"You never lied to me and I always knew you weren't mine. Still, I hoped things would change. I love you, but that's not enough. You should go. Staying longer will only make it worse."
Placing his hand on her cheek. He caressed it as he had that first night and countless times after. His lips met hers. She kissed him back, and he felt her tears on his face.
Abruptly she pulled away. "Go! Just go... I never want to see you again."
He spoke his last words. "I'll always love you... always."
Oliver turned and walked to his car. He never really knew how he drove back to Rhode Island. He hid in his room alone until Monday evening when Ava knocked on the door.
She took one look at him and said, "What the hell happened to you, Romeo?"
Ava always made him smile, but not this time. She sat on his bed and for the first and last time ever; he told the entire story. It began, "She has these incredible green eyes..."
He knew he could talk to Ava now, because she understood him better than anyone. He could tell her about their kiss, but she probably assumed he'd already kissed Beth.
When he had finished his tale years ago, she had responded, "Romeo, you really screwed up. You let the nice one get away." Now it was up to Beth to decide if she wanted to right his wrong.
He turned to Ava. "Just so you know, I told her how I feel. It is up to her to decide what she wants. I have to give her the same courtesy that she gave me."
"Good for you. Now hopefully she's smarter than you were." Ava shook her head.
Sundays were early nights. They opened and closed an hour earlier. Oliver arrived home tired. Typically, he slept late on Mondays, but he had to be in Portland at nine to view apartments. Lucas could find him a place, but that wasn't the answer.
Instead of turning on his flat screen, he headed to bed. He had debated which room to choose when he moved in. He could have chosen Beth's room which he had slept in with her most of that summer. Instead, he chose Nana's room where he slept when he first moved in. Long gone were Nana's belongings on the bureau, but the room reminded him of the sweet woman he had visited.
He knew Beth must miss her every day. Nana had a huge influence on her life and was the reason the house was so important. It was more than just its proximity to the beach. Spitefully he wondered if Lucas understood that about Beth and her house.
He told himself he wouldn't text her, but did. I'm sorry I now understand what I put you through. Thinking of you with him is torture. He sent it before he could change his mind.