Title based on the song above called "Don't Wanna Cry" by Seventeen.
•••
"Aren't you kind of... lonely, Yamayama-kun?" Hinata suddenly questions, as the five first years walk down the street, on their way home from evening volleyball practice.
"Excuse me?"
"I mean, Yamaguchi and Yachi are together and Kei and I are together. Don't you feel kind of lonely when we're all together?" Hinata reasons, pointing at both Yamaguchi and Yachi's and Tsukishima and his conjoined hands.
"...no. I'm perfectly fine being without someone else."
"Your face says otherwise."
"I've been alone my entire life, I think I can handle being by myself around you guys."
"That's actually really sad Kageyama-kun."
"Well it's the truth!"
"No worries Yamayama-kun! We'll help you get a girlfriend!" Hinata cheers, swinging his and Tsukishima's hands in delight.
"Don't drag me into this." Tsukishima says in a bored tone.
"Oh come on Kei! Kageyama is in desperate need of help."
"I told you, I'm perfectly fine being alone." Kageyama cuts in, lying straight through his teeth.
"Lier."
"I'm not lying! Besides, it's not like any girl wants to be around me. I always seem to scare girls away." Kageyama mutters, avoiding eye contact with the others.
"Well duh, you're always scowling." Hinata says, tugging his hand away from Tsukishima's as he mimics Kageyama's seemingly permanent scowl.
"I do not look like that!"
"Oh, yes you do."
"Dumbas-oof-"
"Ah-I'm Sorry!" Your frantic, but quiet voice rings out as several pieces of gym clothes and school books make friends with the pale pavement.
You quickly bend down to pick up the gym clothes and place them back in the black sports bag, before following with the messy school books. Once you finish putting away the items, you zip the sports bag and school bag closed, before standing back up and handing the belongings to the owner.
You quickly glance up, making eye contact with Kageyama, before immediately looking back at the ground in slight embarrassment.
"My apologies for the inconvenience!" You sincerely bow, before handing Kageyama his bags and swiftly walking passed him.
"Kageyama-kun, your face is red." Hinata snickers, once you're out of hearing range.
"It is not!" Kageyama huffs, before throwing his bags over his shoulder and stomping off.
The first years, besides Yachi, continue to snicker at Kageyama before catching up to his tense form.
"Bye." Kageyama simply says, before continuing to march up his steps and into his house.
"Pft, what a loser." Tsukishima rolls his eyes, breaking the silence.
"Be nice." Hinata says, elbowing Tsukishima in the ribs.
"You know that's not how I work." He replies, yawning in the process.
Hinata simply scoffs at his boyfriend, before starting the walk once again.
•••
"So, did you come to terms with your crush yet?!" Hinata excitedly yells at Kageyama, while bouncing into practice the following morning.
"My-what?"
"Your crush! You know, from last night?"
"Hinata what the hell are you on ab-"
"My precious kohai has a crush aye?" Tanaka interrupts, throwing an arm around Kageyama's shoulder.
"Yea! We were walking home from practice last night, and he ran into her. Literally!"
"No, that's-are you-no. I don't have a crush Tanaka-san. A girl just ran into me, picked up the things that I dropped, and apologized. That's it." Kageyama rambles, becoming flustered by all the attention being put on him.
"You missed the part where you blushed and stomped of-"
"Urusai, Hinata!"
"Who's the lucky girl, huh kid?" Tanaka continues, giving Kageyama a hard pat on the back.
"Pft, lucky girl." Tsukishima snickers, before being cut off by a small smack across the arm from Hinata.
"You know, we never got her name did we?" Hinata suddenly realizes.
"Oh, her name's (L/N)(F/N). She's in Tsukki and I's class." Yamaguchi cuts in.
"Really?! Perfect! Kageyama can join us at lunch today and invite (L/N)-san to sit with us!" Hinata bubbles at his brilliant idea, bouncing on the tips of his toes.
"Hinata, no!" Kageyama says, seeming repulsed at the idea.
"Come on Yamayama-kun. You're never going to get a girlfriend with that attitude."
"I already told you. I don't want a girlfriend."
"Kageyama. Do you think I'm dumb-actually, don't answer that. Anyway, how stupid do you take me as, if you think I believe you. Now, you're coming to sit with us at lunch, and invite (L/N)-san to join, whether you like it or not."
"Wow. Demanding. That's hot."
"Tsukishima!"
"Sorry."
"Alright, lets get running!" Daichi cuts off all conversations with a yell.
"Yes captain!" Everyone yells in response, before getting off the floor and running a few warm up laps.
•••
"Ah ah ah, not so fast Kageyama-kun." Hinata smiles, quite evilly might I add, while grabbing Kageyama by his shirt and dragging him to the classroom before he continues an attempt to run away.
"Hinata!" Kageyama groans, struggling to break free of Hinata's deathly grip.
"Don't "Hinata" me. Now go." Hinata says sternly, pushing Kageyama towards your direction.
Hinata joins Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Yachi who are sat down at a desk holding their lunches. The four watch as Kageyama stands dumbstruck, glancing back and forth between you and the others.
As Kageyama makes eye contact with Hinata, Hinata starts making exaggerated hand gestures to try and encourage his friend forward.
Kageyama suddenly becomes noticeably nervous and sweaty, much to his confusion, and starts to mouth a round of "no," "I can't do this," "Are you crazy," "Hinata," and "Stop!"
"Oh for Pete's sake Kageyama!" Hinata whisper yells, standing from his chair and pushing Kageyama in frustration, until he's stood next to your desk.
"She's... eating alone. Just like me." Kageyama thinks.
"A-Ano." Kageyama says anxiously, while nervously fidgeting with his hands.
Unknown to Kageyama, his restlessness and nervous feelings cause his scowl to deepen, making him appear more intimidating than usual.
But you don't mind.
Your eyes peer up at Kageyama, while your mouth slowly stops chewing, before you swallow and tilt your head sideways to show your confusion.
And god, Kageyama can't help but notice how-how adorable you look with the way your head is tilted, leading a few strands of your hair to slide off your shoulder and dangle freely. Or the way your eyes hold a soft look in them, as they stare at Kageyama differently than all the other uninterested and scared looks he's always received from everyone. And the way you actually take in account of Kageyama's presence, instead of deciding he's not worth your time and continuing back to your eating.
Not knowing what to do, or what he's feeling, Kageyama completely freezes up.
"C-can I help you?" You question shyly, as Kageyama continues to stand frozen on the spot.
"U-uh Yea. I was j-just wondering if you wa-wanted to join me and my fri- I mean my friends and I f-for lunch?"
"Wow, he's so nervous, he corrected his grammar." Tsukishima chuckles.
"Forget that, he just called us his friends!" Hinata whisper yells in slight shock.
"Really? You want me... to join you guys for lunch?" You question is disbelief, as you've never been asked to sit with anybody else during lunch hour.
Not knowing if your answer is good or bad, Kageyama simply nods.
"...ok. Thank you." You whisper, while getting up out of your seat, and walking behind Kageyama with your opened bento in your hands, as he leads you toward the group of four, now six.
"..hi, I'm (L/N)(F/N), it's nice to meet you." You greet the group, giving them a small bow of appreciation.
The four return your bow and greeting, before immediately tucking away into a conversation.
"So, (L/N)-san, are you interested in any sports?" Hinata asks eagerly.
"Mmm, I'm not really a sporty person. But I quite enjoy volleyball." You reply, oblivious at the fact that the boys sitting in front of you are volleyball players.
"Really?! Do you play?!" Hinata and Kageyama ask eagerly, Kageyama seeming much more excited than before.
"O-oh, no I don't play. I used to in elementary, but I guess I just stopped once I entered middle school." You explained, shyly glancing everywhere but the boys in front of you.
"You should totally join the girls volleyball team!" Hinata yells.
"Oh no, I couldn't do that. I'd totally weigh down the team."
"But if you're interested in volleyball, why don't you play?" Kageyama suddenly asks.
"I guess I just enjoy to watch rather than play."
"Really? You should totally come watch one of our games some time! You could watch Kageyama-kun play, he's quite good you know."
"Really?" You smile, while looking towards a suddenly red Kageyama.
"Really. He's probably the best on the team, if I'm being honest. He's a genius."
"Ok. I'll definitely have to come watch some time, to see if he really is what you make him to be Hinata-san."
As Hinata opens his mouth to speak, he's cut off by the bell to signal lunch break is over.
As you stand up and turn to walk back to your desk to collect your belongings, Kageyama cuts you off with a slight grip on your wrist.
"S-sit with us tomorrow too?" Kageyama quietly asks, his aura showing obvious nervousness.
"...of course, Kageyama-san." You smile, before continuing your walk back to your desk.
"..are you ok Kageyama-kun? Your head looks like it's going to burst."
"Urusai!"
*4 months later*
"Kageyama-san, can I talk to you real quick?" You rush out, catching Kageyama's attention before he joins the others for lunch.
"Outside?" You continue.
Kageyama nods, before following your lead.
"Oh no, what if she decides I'm not good enough for her? What if she's tired of having to deal with me? Does she hate me? Is...is she going to abandon our relationship like everyone else does?" Kageyama thinks rapidly, before being cut off as he runs into your now still form.
"Eh? Are you alright Kageyama-san? You look quite pale." You sigh, examining Kageyama's face.
"... and now you're flushed. Are you sick?"
"N-no. I'm ok. What is it that you need, (L/N)-san?"
"First, how many times do I have to tell you to call me (F/N), second, I have something really important to say..." You trail off, your confidence deteriorating with every word you speak.
"What is it?"
"Ok so, god this is so nerve racking how do people do this. Right, Kageyama-san, I like you. I like you a fucking lot. And I know this is extremely sudden, and you probably don't feel the same way, which I completely understand. But please listen to me for two minutes. I never knew that I would be the person to fall so easily in love, especially in high school. But when I first bumped into you, I just felt something. I know, cheesy right? But it's completely true. And the way you invited me to come have lunch with you for the first time. You were so nervous. And so was I. I've never had someone voluntarily invite me to join them for something. And what you did, it made me feel really special and like somebody actually cared for me. You were the one person who actually made an effort to make a good connection with me. As you and I started getting close, quite quickly might I add, I fell in deep. I fell in love with the way your blue eyes would wonder everywhere but mine when we'd speak. I fell in love with the way you would immediately become red in the face when Hinata-san would tease you. I fell in love with the way you put forth great effort towards the things you're passionate and grateful for, and how even though you try your absolute hardest for everything you have, you're afraid of losing it all. I fell in love with the way you put on a tough facade, even though you are truly terrified that the people you've become so close to, will leave you in the snap of a finger, like everyone else did. But Kageyama. Kageyama I would never leave you. Don't think I don't see the look in your eyes that says you honestly believe that I would leave our friendship behind. No. Kageyama you know I would never do that. Why? Because I love you with all my being. Even if.. even if you don't return my feelings." You slow into a whisper, lowering your head.
A few moments of grueling silence flow, before small droplets of water fall and smack against the concrete ground.
Are those... tears?
You slowly look up.
Fat droplets of salty water drop from Kageyama's slightly red rimmed eyes, before rolling down his pale cheeks and dripping off of his chin.
Kageyama's eyes hold a sorrowful and relieved emotion, as he continues to let out the tears of pain from within him.
"..Kageyama."
"Thank you."
"Eh?"
"Thank you for returning my feelings."
"Kageyama, why're you crying?" You ask worriedly, not even thinking about the fact that Kageyama feels the same way as you.
You carefully place your shaky hands atop of Kageyama's icy wet cheeks in a calming matter.
"Nobody's ever expressed their care for me. I've gone my entire life alone. With no parents to love me. With no friends to care about me. With no lover to put in a commitment. Every birthday I had, I would stand around and let the teasing and unwanted attention bite after me. I would spend my elementary and middle school graduations completed abandoned in the corner, while everyone would converse with their friends and eat cake. I would watch as people would give me disgusted and terrified looks, before tossing me aside like raw meat. I was completely alone, with nobody there for me. Until you came. And I was scared. No, terrified, that the one person who I truly put all my emotions in, would toss me away like the piece of shit I am. And-and I don't want to cry anymore." Kageyama chokes out, before letting out the most heart wrenching sob.
You simply shake your head, refusing to let your own tears fall. You quickly wrap your arms around Kageyama's neck, before Kageyama slowly slides his arms around your waist and pulls you so tightly against his shaking body.
You squeeze your arms around Kageyama tighter, before lifting your face from Kageyama's neck, only to spot the team gathered nearby with looks of shock and regret.
You glance at them quickly, before closing your eyes and pulling away from Kageyama.
You place your hands back on his cheeks, while Kageyama's arms remain around your waist.
Your thumbs gently wipe Kageyama's under eyes, in attempt to rid the small clear drops holding years of affliction, before you give each under eye a soft kiss.
"I won't ever let you feel alone again. I'll always be by your side, Tobio."