I walked into what I thought would be my empty apartment only to see Jessica sitting on the couch. She looked up from her phone, her face glowing with happiness so I assumed the date went splendid.
"Aren't you happy?" I said as I dropped my bag onto the couch.
"I could ask you the same thing" she said as she sat up straight eyeing me up and down.
"Hmm" she said looking at me suspiciously
"what" I whined as I sat down next to her and looked straight at her.
Suddenly her voice grew serious.
"Ella" she said quietly, as if she was afraid someone would hear us.
"You didn't meet up with that guy? Right?" She asked sounding a bit concerned.
"What!" I said pretending to be shocked at her words and when I realized that wouldn't work I took different measures.
"What if I did" I said shrugging my shoulders and looking straight ahead.
"He's bad news Ella!" She said with widened eyes.
"How do you know that!" I exclaimed back, growing agitated.
"I just know" she sighed as she looked at me with worried eyes.
"Okay" I responded. Not agreeing or disagreeing with her.
"He paid for my drink" I said.
"What drink" Jessica snapped her head towards me.
"Hot chocolate" I said trying to stifle a laugh.
"You're such an asshole" Jessica said as she nudged me causing both of us to laugh.
"He's bad" I said looking straight ahead.
"That he is" she agreed as we looked towards the blank tv.
"And you're going to fall for it" she said.
"What about this?" Jessica asked as she spun around in her 5th outfit of the night. I sighed in annoyance. She looked gorgeous in everything yet was completely unsatisfied.
"You look good!" I said before she nodded in agreement.
"You're running late" I said showering her the time on my phone.
"Crap!" She exclaimed before running into her bedroom. She rummaged for a minute or two before reappearing.
She was going on another date with Steve, the basketball player. They had seemed to really hit it off the first time. This time, they were going to a late night bar with a couple of Steve's friends.
"Go" I laughed as she looked at me one last time before she walked out the door.
"Don't wait up!" She said before the door shut gently behind her. I turned my attention back to the random movie that was playing on the tv.
It was already about 12 am by the time I realized she really meant don't wait up. I continued to watch whatever played on the tv.
It was a pretty warm night so I decided to wear the cute tank and short set Jessica had gotten me for Christmas. The one she said was a late booty call outfit yet I never wore it for that reason.
I let the blanket cover half my body as I played with strands of my hair, completely fixated on the television.
A sudden vibration of my phone snapped me out of my trance. Expecting it to be Jessica I decided to ignore it until it vibrated again. Worried, I quickly pulled my phone from under the blanket, ready to read Jessica's name across the screen but was instead taken aback when I noticed a random number.
"Are you up?" -unknown number
"This is Bill by the way" -unknown number
He must've gotten my number while he was playing with my phone at the cafe a couple days ago.
I looked at my phone with furrowed eyebrows deciding wether or not to respond but before I could make up my mind, my fingers began tapping a response.
"Yeah" -Ella
"You busy?" -unknown number.
I decided to save his number, as having it under no name made me feel like I was texting a complete stranger which in reality I was.
"No why?" -Ella
I mentally scolded myself for knowing damn well why he was asking.
Booty call
"I'm picking you up"- Bill.
I quickly jumped off the couch, running towards my bedroom to change into more appropriate and comfortable clothing before I got another message from him.
"I'm already outside" -Bill
"I'm changing"-Ella
"What's wrong with what you have on?" -Bill
Not wanting to explain to him how revealing my outfit was, I decided to ignore his text and change anyways.
After 5 minutes of being frustrated that I couldn't find anything fast and comfortable enough to change into, another vibration only added to my annoyance.
"Don't make me wait too long to see you Ella" -Bill
"Fuck it" I sighed as I grabbed the hoodie I was debating on and ran out the apartment. I quickly changed into it as I jogged down the stairs.
I passed the lobby mirror and took a second to look at myself.
"You're so stupid Ella" I said to the reflection staring back at me before I made my way out the apartment building.
I was digging my own grave and I was ready to hop in.
It didn't take long for me to spot the extremely nice car parked right outside. I'm surprised he hasn't gotten mugged driving that around this late at night.
Without thinking, I pulled open the car door, the scent of cologne hitting my face immediately, calling my name the same way his eyes did.
I made my way into the passenger seat, refusing to look at him because I knew what would happen if I did.
"Before anything" he began to say as his eyes continued fixated on the empty road ahead of us.
"Is there anything you wanted to do in particular?" His husky voice asked me. I could feel my heart stammer against my rib cage at every word he spoke. I didn't think I'd be doing this.
"No" I said looking at the uninteresting car parked in front of us.
"Okay" he sighed as he stared the ignition.
"Guess driving around it is" he said as he sped down the road. I felt my fingernails dig into my skin at the silence that filled us.
"I was surprised you responded" he said softly, his gaze swiftly looking at me before it fell onto the road once again.
"I'm surprised as well" I whispered back. I was shocked at my actions myself.
"Were you able to change" he asked.
"Yeah" I lied. I didn't know what that lie would get me, but it felt right to lie about it in the moment.
"Are you okay?" He asked as we stopped at a red light. How I wished the streets were busier so that I could focus on the strangers outside of the car rather than the ones in it.
That's all we were.
Strangers.
I felt his gaze on me and somehow felt his aggravation as well. After a couple minutes of driving I felt myself relax against the luxurious leather seat.
We didn't talk. We just drove in silence. The same silence that I once dreaded, was now comfortable.
Or maybe I just got used to it.
Before I could process what was happening, I realized we were parked right outside my apartment complex. I didn't want to get out, but I didn't want to stay either.
I was afraid of what would happen if I did.
I continued to look ahead of me, and realized the car that was previously parked ahead of us was gone and we were completely alone inside dark tinted windows. The only thing being our companion was the sound of cars in the distance, far from us.
"Goodnight" I said preparing to open the door and do the walk of shame to my apartment. Hating myself for not talking or doing what I could have done. Maybe what other girls dreamt of doing to him.
"Ella look at me" he said sternly yet gently.
"I can't" I whispered trying not to cave in.
"And why is that?" He asked. I felt him lean in closer, his warm breath caressing the skin on my neck. I could feel his gaze on me, burning my skin in heated passion.
"I'm scared of what will happen if I do" I said.
After a moment of no response, I caved in and turned to look at him for the first time that night. He looked so breathtaking and I was glad I hadn't looked at him earlier because I knew I'd be walking into my apartment with disheveled clothes and hair. Causing Jessica to ask a million questions I was too ashamed to answer.
He looked at me through those piercing green eyes, making me want to melt into his arms, and I knew that's exactly what he wanted.
"Bill" I whispered not knowing what else to say.
"Mm" he said not acknowledging anything I said and instead kept his gaze fixated on my eyes and lips.
The next couple of seconds felt like a blur but I could see everything clearly.
I felt his lips on mine and I don't know who kissed who. Next thing I know I'm straddling him on the drivers seat, our warm breath raising goosebumps on our skin.
Halfway in I couldn't seem to locate my hoodie that was once on me. It was now lost somewhere in the dark interior of his car. His hands felt soft on my skin, leaving a burning sensation wherever they touched.
My hands instinctively grasped at his hair and I wondered if this was something all girls did in the heat of the moment. The kiss just seemed to get deeper and deeper and I knew I'd be drowning.
I was drowning.
I had never felt this sort of electricity before and I was afraid I would grow addicted to it once this was all over.
The sudden sound of my phone vibrating made me snap out of the haze I was in. I quickly pulled back, looking at Bill with widened eyes as if I had just seen a wild animal.
His hands rested on my hips as I continued to catch my breath from the heated make out session.
I quickly pulled myself off of his warm lap, not wanting to see or feel anything anymore. Afraid I'd fall back in.
"Where are you?"-Jessica
"I have to go" I stammered as I looked around for my hoodie. Growing more frantic and embarrassed by the second.
"Ella" he said with that same damn luring voice he had.
"Stop" I snapped as I looked at him, hoodie in hand. He looked at me with a confused expression. I didn't blame him. One second I was grinding on him and French kissing him and the next I'm snapping at him for simply saying my name.
"Don't do this Bill" I said.
"Do what?" He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows in even more confusion.
"This!" I said
"You know exactly what I mean" I continued.
"Luring me in with, with all of this" I said as I pointed at him and his car.
"How many times have you done this?" I asked.
"Better yet" I said
"How many times were you successful?" I asked before giving him one last look. The way he looked, under the street lights and the interior car lights drove me crazy and that just caused me to grow angrier.
I opened the car door, stammering out not wanting to cave in like I had done earlier.
I don't remember running up the stairs or slamming the front door shut. I don't remember ignoring Jessica's questions as I stormed into my room.
All I remember is that once my bedroom door shut behind me, I slid against it staring at the clock ahead of me.
2:oo am
I slowly made my way into my bed, the fire in me from earlier completely burned out.
I wasn't angry at him.
I was angry at myself.
I was angry at myself for falling so fast. For wanting it as much as he did. I wanted to be the heart breaker not the heartbroken.
Yet here I was begging for a broken heart. Walking into his old traps that have worked for him before and I was no different.
I was frustrated because my heart begged me not to be stupid and fall for something that wouldn't end well. But my desires were clawing at my skin.
I could still feel his hands on me and I let the sensation linger as long as it could.
I shouldn't do it.
I shouldn't cave in.
I'm not going to
I promise
You know that's a lie Ella